drive thru window

the foxhole court as john mulaney quotes
  • neil: i'll keep all my emotions right here and then one day i'll die
  • andrew: it is 100% easier not to do things than to do them
  • aaron: sometimes, babies will point at me, and I don't care for that shit at all
  • nicky: eat ass, suck a dick, and sell drugs
  • kevin: im really sorry about last night, it’s just that im mean and loud. it probably will happen again
  • dan: you have the moral backbone of a chocolate eclair
  • matt: THATS MY WIFE!
  • renee: i think emily dickison is a lesbian
  • allison: i am a proud, asian american woman, and you will treat me with respect!
  • wymack: i pulled up to the drive thru window at mcdonalds and ordered a black coffee for myself and kept driving. The one thing no kid at mcdonalds can every enjoy
  • riko: This is an on-fire trash can
the signs as quotes from "the comeback kid"
  • aries: eat ass, suck a dick, and sell drugs
  • taurus: here's an on fire garbage can... could be a nursery
  • gemini: "you have the moral backbone of a chocolate eclair," you know, how you talk to a child
  • cancer: marijuana is legal in 18 or 19 states. it's insane. don't whoo if you're white. it's always been legal for us, come on sir
  • leo: i know you told me, but i have had a very long day, i am very small, and i have no money, so you can imagine the stress im under
  • virgo: "oh we have to go!! we have to go see bill!" and without looking up at her my dad goes, "why? it's not like he's gonna remember you."
  • libra: so my dad pulled up to the drive thru window and ordered a black coffee. the one thing no kid can every enjoy
  • scorpio: anyone who's seen my dick and met my parents needs to die
  • sagittarius: bill clinton turns, looks at my mom and says, "hey ellen!" cause he never forgets a bitch ever
  • capricorn: we bought a house that was built in the 20s but it was flipped in 2014, which means it's haunted but it has a lovely kitchen backsplash
  • aquarius: we were at lion king on broadway and there was a five year old behind us going, "look it's pumbaa! look its timon!" and my dad turned around and said, "are you going to talk the entire time?"
  • pisces: some people give off a vibe of.. right away, and they're like, "do not fuck with me." my vibe is more like, "hey, you could pour soup in my lap and i'll probably apologize to you!"

the other night at taco bell i was 50¢ short on my order, & i was like “oh just take this and that off” but the girl at the drive thru window started fishing in her pockets!! she said “don’t worry girl i’ve been there, i got you” she put in the amount remaining on my order, casually mentioned she’s saving money for her son’s first birthday party and then complimented my makeup…she was so sweet. i love girls. i told her that her hair was super cute (it was pink) and we wished each other a good night :“) i don’t think i’ve ever been so thankful

mothman is real and I saw him behind the drive-thru window at mcdonalds at three in the morning and he told me that the mcflurry machine broke

Oldie but Goodie

I worked at the golden M in high school. One month we were supposed to be up-selling the big sandwich with the special sauce, and my managers decided to make up a “special” for a double sandwich. They told the cashiers to ring it up as a regular sandwich then add two meat patties, two slices of cheese, and extra special sauce. I don’t remember the price, but this obviously made the burger more expensive because meat patties we’re an additional $1.25 and cheese was 40 cents a slice. The “special” was printed on a laminated sign and stuck in the grass near the regular menu.

I only remember one person ever ordering the special. She ordered two double sandwich specials and a kid’s meal, I added the extra patties and cheese, and told her the total was $27 something. She drove up to the drive thru window and her entire family screamed at me. Her, her husband, and their son yelled that I put it in wrong, that wasn’t the total, I was stupid, they were going to get me fired. And then they sped away.

I kept a straight face because there was another couple customers in line, but as soon as the line cleared I burst into tears. And as I walked up front to talk to my manager, that bitch was at the counter. She came inside and ordered the exact same thing and surprise, surprise, the total was the same. I just happened to walk up as she was asking my manager if that was really the price. She didn’t scream like an idiot the second time, and she didn’t apologize to me even though I was crying and we made eye contact so I know she saw me. I’m still salty about it.

Cutie at the Drive Thru | kim seokjin

Originally posted by fawnave

Pairing: jin x reader (ft. a cameo from the rest of bts)
Genre: one-shot, college!au, fluff
Length: 2.5k
Warnings: some strong language
Summary: It was a Saturday night and you were called into work at the cafe until close. So far, you regretted taking this shift, but working drive thru may have its perks.

A/N: When you guys read this, you’ll probably be able to see how much I hated working in a food place! Haha, all my built-up frustrations here… but I hope you enjoy this little fluffy scenario.

Keep reading

Stanley Pines, Destroyer of Ciphers

Oh, look! An actual snippet of something! I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this yet, but in this AU Stan’s something of an FBI informant…who ends up getting stuck codebreaking. It gets rough sometimes.

Also I have pages of stuff for this so y'all should ask me questions if you want but only if you want to

“Alright. That’s enough for today, Mr. Decoder Ring. It’s almost one in the morning. Shit, you want Taco Hut or something?“

“Nah, I didn’t figure anything out today.”

“…Okay but I didn’t eat today and I’m pretty sure you didn’t either. Taco Hut is still open. Or maybe McDurland’s?“

"I didn’t solve anything today.”

“What’s that got to do with anything?”

Jones must’ve gone crazy. “I didn’t do anything today.”

“You’ve been hunched over those files all day. I’ve seen you. Were you sleeping with your eyes open?”

“What? No! No, I was trying, I swear!“ he pushed back from the desk, his palms outwards as he lifted his hands up towards his shoulders. “I just… didn’t get anywhere with any of this stuff. I swear.

"It was a joke, Pines. Relax.” Jones held up a tentative hand, waiting for him to resettle before speaking. “But seriously. Are you not hungry? Because I’m starving.”

He shook his head, turning his attention back down to the photocopies he’d spread out in a semblance of order that made sense to him and him alone, most likely. “I didn’t get anywhere today.”

“Pines. That doesn’t mean you can’t be hungry.”

Stan felt his hackles rise. “Of course I can be hungry. That doesn’t mean anything. I didn’t work hard enough.”

“…Pines, are you telling me that because you didn’t make progress today, you therefore haven’t earned food? Because that’s not how this works.“

Stanley jerked his head in agitation, refusing to catch Jones’s eye.

"Pines. I’m not… you’re not with Rico.”

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

I started working in fast food and was put in the drive thru window for the first time today. A deaf customer came through and a coworker told me they're a regular. I'm brushing up on my sign language so next time I can tell them to have a nice day!

Have you ever had people in your life that only seemed to come around when things were great? God is not like that. His Love is not only present on the mountaintop but, also in the desert and the valley. So lean to into His love and listen to His voice. It is constant, no matter who comes and goes or stays.

People value different things in other people, but always remember that God values you, no matter what you’ve accomplished, no matter what you’ve done. He wants to speak to you in your daily life, whether things are going well or not. He doesn’t just show up on graduation day or when you get engaged. He doesn’t just appear when things are going well and there’s something exciting to talk about. He wants to talk to you all the time. Whether you’re a surgeon or you’re passing out coffees through a drive thru window, whether you’re married to the love of your life or completely single, He wants you to hear His voice and show you something new every single day.

The voice of the Lord shakes the desert… - Psalm‬ ‭29:8‬

So in the celebratory season of graduations, engagements, weddings, baby showers, and whatever else that’s going on, don’t be distracted by those that are there today but weren’t there yesterday. Don’t be disheartened when it seems like certain people only pay attention to you when things are going well. God has been with you all this time, and He wants you to cling to Him more than you cling to anyone else.

Written by @morganhnichols for #TheDevoCo

ruinandcreationspassage  asked:

I don't know if this has been done, but I just thought of the concept art for Harley and Joker getting fast food in the Vaydor. What are their McDonald's orders and do they generally shoot the poor schmuck at the drive thru window?

Haha, the poor person at the window never knows if they’ll die or not. With J, always expect the unexpected ;)

I’m not sure about the specifics, but I feel like J would get whatever he could eat the fastest so he could continue whatever he was doing before. 

Harley on the other hand would probably get multiple different things because she couldn’t decide, force J to get her a milkshake, and (of course) demand a toy lol

anonymous asked:

Semi-truck drivers. If you want to stop at a fast food restaurant, please park the truck and come in to order. Our awnings (things that hang over the drive thru window to protect the workers from the elements) cannot accommodate the truck and will break the awning, costing the restaurant and the company you drive for money.

John Mulaney: Comeback Kid Starters

❝ You have the moral backbone of a chocolate eclair. ❞

❝ Anyone who’s seen my dick and met my parents needs to die. ❞

❝ Jesus Christ! What, were you two in the Eagles together? ❞

❝ What is the animosity about? ❞

❝ My vibe is more like, ‘Hey, you could pour soup in my lap and I’ll probably apologize to you.' ❞

❝ You will die on August 7th, 2037. ❞

❝ That’s pretty good. ❞

❝ Huh! It needs a belt. ❞

❝ Don’t get me wrong, my parents loved us. They just didn’t like us. ❞

❝ We were'nt friends. ❞

❝ My mom’s my best friend. ❞

❝ Oh, is she a super bad mom? ❞

❝ Somtimes babies will point at me, and I don’t care for that shit at all. ❞

❝ Don’t snitch, motherfuckah! ❞

❝ Eat ass, suck a dick and sell drugs. ❞

❝ If you eat enough ass and suck enough dick, one day you can sell drugs. ❞

❝ Here’s an on fire garbage can…could be a nursery. ❞

❝ Oh we have to go!! We have to go see ________ ! ❞

❝ Why? It’s not like he/she’s gonna remember you. ❞

❝ The other shoe has dropped. ❞

❝ Can I walk you home? ❞

❝ Can you imagine watching one of the people you went to school with becoming the president? ❞

❝ You can do everything you want forever. ❞

❝ So my dad pulled up to the drive thru window and ordered a black coffee. The one thing no kid can every enjoy ❞

❝ Because he never forgets a bitch ever! ❞

❝ Are you going to talk the entire time? ❞

❝ Black coffee. Same motherfucker. ❞

❝ I think Emily Dickinson’s a lesbian. ❞

❝ And also with you. ❞


❝ Marriage is going to be fun ❞

❝ Can my girlfriend come? ❞  

❝ I am the king and I can eat first whenever I want! –As long as it fits the schedule of a dog… ❞

North Carolina Gothic
  • Your neighbor waves to you as you go out to check the mail. They are riding a lawnmower, sweet-smelling grass vanishing under the blades and being spat out as snow. Freezing wind rushes over your body as heat boils up behind it. Overhead, the sky flashes dark and light as the sun and moon chase each other. Rain slaps you in the face, sun bakes your tears dry, your form molded by the vortex of nature whirling like a carousel around you, faster and faster. “Don’t like the weather?” Your neighbor’s voice is the hurricane winds and the drone of cicadas. “Just wait three hours, it’ll change!” It never stops changing. Neither do you.
  • Looking down at your feet sinking into the mud, you feel the sun on the back of your neck. There is a collard between your feet, huge leaves looking flat and leathery, twisted into a ball. You look up to rows of collards. The whole field is collards, the tree line framing the field so far away as to look faintly washed out. Behind you is a long row of your own footsteps, gone on for so long as to vanish before you see where you came from.
  • Your favorite pair of crocs twists under you and you skin your knees on the cement. The blood runs fast, bubbling. You taste it. It is cool, sweet. Cheerwine.
  • School is a zoo. Feeding time. Play time. Everyone else watches everyone else, convinced they are the guests and the others are the attractions. They cannot compare it to Lord of the Flies. There are no reading lists. There are no teachers. Painted in blood on the gym floor: BUDGET CUTS. 
  • Girls with quilted red purses, a wolf in stiff embroidery watching them, watching you watch them. Boys in soft blue, a ram’s curling horns matching the curl of his sneer. Everyone laughs as they segregate themselves by color, moving to opposite ends of an empty gymnasium. Chains and nailed bats are handed out. The old war must feed.
  • The lighthouse’s black and white stripes continue up ceaselessly. You cannot see the top, but at night there is a beacon nonetheless. 
  •  Cookout’s neon buzzes and you watch yourself in the mirrored side. There is a Model T in the drive-thru window, and you can watch the progression of cars evolve to the present day as the line stretches back. Your reflection smugly sips a Huge Tea, and you feel the desert in your throat as you watch.
49 Ways To Save Money
  1. Talk to your bank. Are you receiving the lowest possible interest rate on loans? What about your mortgage? Are you carrying extra insurance, or does your current policy fit your needs? If you have credit card debt, does your bank know your plans to pay off that debt? When was the last time you talked to the free financial advisor your bank likely has on staff? Proactive clients with long-term relationships with a particular institution can often negotiate better deals and rates. Some banks offer incentives for “house holding,” or consolidating assets, insurance, and other services with them. You won’t know what’s possible until you talk to them, so pick up the phone regularly. 

  2. Cultivate friendships for free. Literally. Skip weekends with your pals at the movies, expensive brunches, or out-of-town trips. Instead, link up for a day at a beach or park, or a drive to explore a nearby town that no one has actually spent time in. Local fairs and festivals are fun choices for groups with varying financial considerations–those who want to spend more, can, but those on a strict budget can still enjoy the day, environment, and perhaps a well-chosen treat. 

  3. Reign in your family. Already stressed about holiday gift-giving and the associated price tag? Make a pact with your family that no gift will exceed a certain monetary limit, and encourage homemade items or gifts of service. Those will small children would likely appreciate a free day or two of babysitting, for instance, while those with pets might value a guaranteed pet sitter during their next out-of-town trip. I’d bet anyone would enjoy having cleaning or chores done around their home. 

  4. Court the old fashioned way. Our most romantic moments rarely have anything to do with money. So, why is your dating life centered around how much money you spend on your partner? Picnics, walks, and surprise gestures don’t take a lot of cash–they take thought, time, and effort, which are worth so much more.

  5. Talk to your friends and family. Be upfront about the fact that you are on a budget, and that you are committed to making it work. While you don’t have to get specific, making them aware of your ambition will save feelings when you decline invitations that don’t fit your budget. Better yet, they may think of creative and cheaper ways to spend time together. 

  6. Take pet care into your own hands. No more trips to the fancy doggy spa. Now, you bathe and groom your pooch yourself. Invest in a pair of clippers, soap, and other minimal tools, then prepare to lather, rinse, repeat. 

  7. Make gifts yourself. Homemade gifts show a thoughtfulness that store-bought items simply can’t equal. Mature adults recognize that the gift of time is truly the most precious of all, and will appreciate your gift even more. You will appreciate the fact that assembling your own goods will save a great deal of money, come the holiday season.

  8. Read. Not only is a book cheaper than a movie, reading also boosts brain power, productivity, and can infuse you with creative ideas. Consider forming a book club with friends for another low-cost social option. Bonus points for choosing reading material that enhances professional skills, potentially leading to new or increased sources of income. 

  9. Better yet, read books from the library. Remember the library? That place where you spent time as a child is still there, and it’s still free. You already pay for it when you paid your taxes, so why not enjoy it? Modern libraries also offer DVDs, internet access, popular magazines, and family events. 

  10. Ditch the cable subscription. How many of those channels do you actually watch? Likely only a handful. Get the shows you love from Netlix or a similar vendor and cut both costs and time wasted by commercials. If it’s new and you have to see it, get it from RedBox for a dollar and some change. 

  11. Turn off the television entirely. Doing so cuts your electric bill, removes commercial temptation to spend, and frees you up to pursue other activities. It may take a few days to find other ways to unwind, but the rewards are worth it.

  12. Only go grocery shopping with a list. Bonus tip: never go grocery shopping while you’re hungry. Numerous studies show that shopping sans plan, while hungry, is the fastest way to break the bank with unintended purchases. 

  13. Embrace your inner Iron Chef. We waste hundreds of dollars each year when we throw out spoiled, rotten food. Make a habit of regularly scouring your pantry and fridge, and actually using all that stuff that’s about to expire. If the same items keep making their way to your “use or lose” dinners, stop buying them. 

  14. Get excited about leftovers. Wasteful cooking is wasteful spending. Plus, cooking in bulk saves money. Get accustomed to preparing leftovers, and stock up on items like spices, cheeses, and other disguises that freshen them up that second time around…and the third. 

  15. Pay attention to expiration dates. Households waste hundreds of dollars each year on food that is thrown out. If you’re going out of town in a few days, skip the milk at the store so it doesn’t go to waste. When you do buy perishables, reach to the back to get your hands on items that expire later. 

  16. Stash snacks in your car. Doing so will free you from the temptation of a drive-thru window when rush hour keeps you on the road, or when that lunch you skipped makes your blood sugar crash at the end of a long day. You’re also more likely to eat a healthy, budget-friendly meal in the evening if you don’t walk in the door starving. 

  17. Forego alcohol, cigarettes, and other expensive habits. Your health will thank you, and so will your wallet. Even occasional indulgences add up over time. 

  18. Compare grocery stores. Consider not only the store’s standard selection, but also the frequency of sales and sale items, and gas and time to get to the store. Shopping at several stores may result in the lowest possible grocery bill. 

  19. Go generic. Many retailers offer store brands that are significantly discounted from the name brand items. Get in the habit of purchasing these product lines whenever possible. The quality is comparable but the savings can be huge. 

  20. Plan by sales. Grocery stores often post weekly specials. A quick scan of your store’s weekly flyer will tell you what is in season and, therefore, lower in price, as well as clue you in to sales, discounts, and promotional offers. Plan your meals around the sale items and what you have on hand, and watch your food bill decrease. 

  21. Stock up immediately following a holiday. Everything from cards to wrapping materials and decorative items is cheaper immediately following the holiday. Think beyond Christmas and Thanksgiving, and head for the stores in the days following any holiday for which you send a card (Mother’s Day, Valentines Day, and so on) for deep discounts.

  22. Set up an “offers only” email account. Use it to sign up for every rewards program you can, from that coffee shop you frequent weekly to the specialty grocer across town you only see occasionally. Over time, those perks and rewards will add up. 

  23. Sewing machines are cool. Why? Because they save you money! Every time a button pops off, a strap pulls loose, or a hem tears, you simply set it up and go to town. No more tailoring or alterations bills, or ditching of clothing due to damage. Now, you can make your wardrobe last. 

  24. Install a programmable thermostat. Some models even allow you to set different temperatures during the day and night, meaning you’ll be comfortable when you’re home but not paying to cool or heat a space that no one is in during the day. If you’re not sure what the ideal temperature is for your abode, call the manufacturer of your heating and cooling units and pose the question to them. 

  25. Take banking online. You’ll save a stamp and gas to get to the post office if you have to. You can also pay bills in the middle of the cycle and keep careful watch over every transaction, which means no more late or overdraft fees.

  26. Unplug. Turn lights off before you leave. Keep doors and windows closed while the air conditioning is running, and turn it up a few degrees if you won’t be home. Unplug chargers and other devices that suck energy when not in use. Better yet, do all of these things and watch your energy bill hit rock bottom. 

  27. Run ceiling fans. Running ceiling fans counterclockwise in the summer and clockwise in the winter can lower both your cooling and heating bills. The rotation disperses cooled or heated air, meaning less energy is required to establish and maintain the desired temperature in the space. Don’t know how to change the direction on your fan? Get up on a ladder and take a look–most have a switch on the side–or call the manufacturer directly. 

  28. Give your dryer a rest. Your dryer requires electricity, which can raise your utility bill sky high. Keep the bill in check by doing a bit o’ good for the environment by drying your clothes on a rack or line. Folding drying racks can be found at any home goods or superstore. Or, hang a rod and line with materials readily found at hardware stores. 

  29. Invest in “smart” power strips.  If you use a computer at home, or run multiple devices like a laptop, printer, stereo, and so on from your desk, this item is a must have. The power strip focuses power usage on the devices you’re actually using, reducing the energy sent to the others and negating “phantom charge.” While some consider unplugging energy from gadgets you’re not actually using to be a waste of time, consider that the charges aren’t so “phantom” when they show up on your bill. 

  30. Get fit for free. Paying each month for a gym membership or classes at a local club? Say good-bye to the bill and start walking or running in your neighborhood. Or, spend one month’s membership on a few free weights, exercise ball, bands, or an ab roller from a superstore, and purchase benefits that last beyond 30 days. 

  31. Shop used items first. Clothing, sporting goods, furniture, household goods, and a host of other items can often be found in good condition on community boards, newspaper classifieds, or through online hubs such as Craigslist. Get in the habit of looking for gently used items before you shell out full price for a new one. 

  32. Brown bag it. Bringing your lunch to work each day will save you hundreds each month, not to mention you’ll be able to spend that precious break in a manner you actually enjoy, with food that nourishes and you can afford–sounds like a pretty good break! 

  33. Streamline your wardrobe. Pay a reasonable price for quality, sturdy classics, then mix and match them. You may not be sporting the shirt on the cover of this month’s fashion magazines, but you will be classy, tasteful, and dressed in a way you can afford, which is always in style. 

  34. Drive by the rules. Tickets can cost a small fortune in some states, so avoid them by driving within the speed limit and obeying other regulations. Your gas mileage will thank you, too. 

  35. Garden. Whether it’s a single planter with basic herbs on a windowsill, pots of tomatoes on your porch, or an extensive in-ground plot, gardening will cut your produce bill. Having plants around may also reduce stress and improve the overall quality of your living environment, cutting doctor’s bills and the need for that stress-busters class you pay for each week.

  36. Save grocery bags. They’re the perfect size for small trash cans in a guest room or bathroom, or to pick up pet poop or collect diapers in a nursery. You paid for them, might as well use them. 

  37. Buy rechargeable batteries. They will save you money, especially for families with kids’ toys, or people with power tools. Remember to unplug your charger when not in use. 

  38. Barter. Have a sweater you’re over but that babysitting neighbor always compliments? Do you cook, but the handy man down the street doesn’t? Talk to service providers about bartering; with taxes continuing to soar, many are open to the idea. Make a short list of items you would be willing to barter and negotiate them out of your home to clear clutter for a good cause.

  39. Avoid cards with annual or usage fees. If you have to pay to play, that card isn’t that good of a deal. These days, there are a number of cards that offer no annual fee. Attracted to a particular card but they do charge an annual fee? Call them, and ask for it to be waived. If you threaten to go with a competing lender who doesn’t charge, they just may be open to helping you out. 

  40. Get your coupon on. Coupons are, quite literally, free money. It’s worth it to sit with a circular for a few minutes each week and clip those you think you’ll use. For extra savings, combine coupons with regular store sales. 

  41. Remove your card from any stored shopping accounts. Entering your card number every time you shop online forces to think about your purchase. Taking the time to type it in means you will have to decide the purchase is worth it, reducing the chances of spending unnecessarily. Not storing cards also keeps them more secure. 

  42. Ride share. Always drive yourself? Consider teaming up with a friend during weekend outings, or better yet, find a coworker who can help your commute. You’ll save money in gas, mileage-based insurance and, over time, vehicle maintenance. 

  43. Keep a piggy bank. Every penny you lose is a penny that could be spent reducing debt, contributed to an emergency fund, or otherwise constructively employed. Keep track of them and give yourself a visually encouraging boost with a loose change jar in an easily accessible location. Decide how you’ll use the money before you toss in the coins, and delight at how quickly it adds up. 

  44. Save automatically. Divert part of your paycheck directly into your savings account. Some employers allow paychecks to be deposited into multiple accounts. If yours does, designate a sustainable percentage to go to savings. Not sure what you can reasonably put aside? Start with a set amount, such as $50 (the minimum to open an account at many banks) or even $100. At the end of your pay period, evaluate how much, if at all, you miss that amount. Dedicate raises and bonuses directly to savings.

  45. Accept that a car is only a piece of sheet metal. You don’t need one with bat wings and 10 speeds. You need one with a good safety rating and good fuel economy, one that your insurance company won’t charge a fortune to insure. You don’t need a truck unless you need to haul things; you don’t need a sports car unless you are a street racing driver. Take emotions out of the car buying equation, and make practical choices you can afford. 

  46. Take advantage of the stuff your taxes paid for. Public transportation, community events and educational classes, and public parks are in existence because your taxpayer dollars funded them. Enjoy the places, people, and opportunities you’ve already funded. 

  47. Live where you can afford to. This doesn’t just mean a part of town. To make your budget work, perhaps you should consider a new town, state, or even region. “Fun” places are only fun to live in if you can afford to do fun stuff there. You might be surprised by how relaxing you find any location, once you’re free of money woes. 

  48. Do the required maintenance on your home, car, and anything else you own. While it’s a pain at the time, adhering to the recommended maintenance schedule will drastically increase the lifespan of cars, lawnmowers, tractors, anything with an engine. In some cases, such as your vehicle, regular maintenance can prevent costly problems and keep you safe. When it comes to assets such as your home, regular maintenance preserves their value. 

  49. Stay focused. Saving for something specific? Keep your eye on the prize, literally, by placing photos of the items or notes with a keyword on your wallet and near your computer. Tempted to peruse the world wide web for some spontaneous, pajama-clad retail therapy? Halt! Take a look at the picture–what you’re saving for is much more satisfying than any spontaneous purchase. 

me: [pulls up to a drive thru window] yeah ill have a fucking uhhhhhhhh greedling 
drive thru lady: the very embodiment of never having enough sacrificed himself for the sake of his friends and died satisfied with the knowledge that he had friends however the person who helped him realise this was the one thing he really wanted is left to get used to his head being awful quiet for the first time in ages and the knowledge that the only lie greed ever told was that he and ling were going to fight together until the end
me: thanks [hands her a crumpled 50 dollar bill and drives off]

I don’t think there is anything more harrowing than a fast food drive thru window person who is seemingly less familiar with the menu than you are.  

Like, dude, I don’t know what all comes on a double bacon cheeseburger…I just know I don’t want mayo.  

(Like I ordered the number 3, with no mayo, and then he asked me what I DID want on it? LIke…dude, whatever comes on it normally, minus the mayo?  Am I going crazy or isn’t that how you order food?)