drive far away

How to comfort the signs

“Avoiding a problem can either solve it or make it hundred times worse.”

Aries: Try to distract them, but don’t avoid them problem. Talking to them about the problem first will make them feel better, but to boost their mood, try doing something they enjoy doing or take them on a random trip, even if it was just to the closest cinema.

Taurus: Give them or talk to them about something they like. If you know this Taurus well, you might know about some little things they like, such as animals, or something from science. Maybe they’re passionate about tea! Whatever that is, try to make them feel comfrotable by either bringing or talking about one of those things.

Gemini: Debate with them about how their problem and how they feel. Ask them “like a journalist”, meaning you’ll use questions starting with What, How, When,… to help them analyze their situation from many sides.

Cancer: What might sometimes help is to tell them that things could be much worse. Be careful when you use this though. I wouldn’t recommend using this when person is sad or deperessed for a longer period of time, but instead, this can work when they for ex. fail a test or lose their job. Comforting them with food can also help just as much as a hug or listening to their favorite songs.

Leo: Do something spontaneous. Drive far away. Have a movie marathon. Go buy junk food at 1am. It can be something small but it can help cheer Leo up. Help them forget about their problem/feelings at least for a few hours.

Virgo: Help them solve the problem. Virgo will feel better, when they know they did something to help their situation. Plan with them list of things that might make them feel better and then do them all.

Libra: Compliment them. Tell them about how important they are to you. Make them feel loved. And if you can, bring some ice cream and hot chocolate, watch their favorite movie and just spend some time with them.

Scorpio: If you’re close to them, don’t be afraid of physical contact. Small thing such as hug or back rub can make them feel much better. What also helps is the good old listening. Making Scorpio feel loved and valued will make them feel better!

Sagittarius: Similary to Leo, try to make them forget about their problem for a bit. Maybe, if they have some sort of weird habit or a favorite place to go, take them there! (or in the case of habit, do it whatever it is). Sometimes, having a long convo with Sag will help too, depends on a person.

Capricorn: Listen to them. That’s it. It might sound too obvious or general, but Capricorn often feel like no one truly listens to them, and giving them your full attention while they talk about something that’s bothering them will definitely make them feel better.

Aquarius: Let them talk. Sometimes, they won’t want to talk about what’s bothering, but that’s just how they are. I’d say sitting down with them and telling them that they can really trust you might make them listen. And then, don’t say anything and let them just spill everything out.

Pisces: Try to show them that you understand how they feel. Just like Scorpio, if you’re close to this Pisces, hugging them can make them feel much better. Also try asking them what can you do for them. Sometimes Pisces wants to talka bout things, but sometimes they just need an alone time.

How To Comfort The Signs

“Avoiding a problem can either solve it or make it hundred times worse.”

Aries: Try to distract them, but don’t avoid them problem. Talking to them about the problem first will make them feel better, but to boost their mood, try doing something they enjoy doing or take them on a random trip, even if it was just to the closest cinema.

Taurus: Give them or talk to them about something they like. If you know this Taurus well, you might know about some little things they like, such as animals, or something from science. Maybe they’re passionate about tea! Whatever that is, try to make them feel comfrotable by either bringing or talking about one of those things.

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Their ideal date night // Stranger Things preferences 🥀🖤

Requested — “Hi, could you do a headcanon for the Stranger Things boys (Billy, Steve and Jonathan), for their ideal date night?”


Ps. Don’t get annoyed bill is apart of it, no negativity on my blog. Thank you


Request your favourite character from a TV show for an imagine / headcannon / preference 🥀🖤


STEVE

Steve’s ideal date night would be a surprise to you, he can be super romantic, a drive to a secluded area with a view and bring a picnic of all your favourite foods, just sitting, talking, looking at the town lights from above and looking at the stars. He pays attention to the little things, more than you’re aware of


BILLY

Billy’s ideal date night would be driving somewhere far away, out of Hawkins, going to a concert of a rock band you both like and grabbing some food (before or after) and just having a good time in each other’s company


JONATHAN

Jonathan’s ideal date night would be doing a photoshoot type of thing, like just walking/driving around exploring new places and when you don’t know he’s doing it, he’ll take photos of you and if you’re into photography too you’d take photos of him taking photos and he’s into the small things like watching movies at his house with Joyce and Will and you’ll still say it’s a date


A/N this was my favourite ST thing over ever written thank you to the person who requested it

Drunk | Jonah Marais

Requested? Yes! @boomboomboomwayhoo I hope you like it! Also I love your username 

Warnings? Swearing, drunk jonah, mentions of sex 

Word Count: 3,003

“She’s gonna kill you.” Corbyn whispers to Jonah.

“It’s her fault for sleeping so late.” Jonah replies.

“Can’t you leave the poor girl be?” Daniel asks.

Jonah shakes his head no with an evil smile causing Daniel to roll his eyes. Corbyn follows behind Jonah into their shared room and spots (Y/N) sleeping peacefully on Jonah’s bed.

“She’s gonna kill you.” Corbyn reminds him once more.

Jonah ignores his blonde haired friend and walks over to (Y/N) quietly. He slips one arm around her waist and one under her knees. She instantly curls into Jonah’s chest causing his cheeks to redden.

He carefully lifts her up, making sure she doesn’t wake up in the process. Once she’s secured in his arms, he makes his way out of the bedroom and downstairs, with Corbyn still following behind. He makes his way out to the back yard and stands by the edge of the pool.

“Hey (Y/N)?” Jonah says while nudging her a bit. Her eyes slowly flutter open and meet Jonah’s bright green ones.

“I’m sorry.”

Before you can comprehend what’s going on, Jonah swings his arms back and forward before letting go of you. You quickly brace yourself to hit the pool and when you do you quickly resurface.

“Jonah!!!” You yell angrily.

You get out of the pool lightning quick while Jonah runs away from you. You chase after him and are able to corner him near the edge of the pool. You take a few slow steps forward until you’re only an inch away. Your breath quickens as you look up into his captivating green eyes. You regain your thoughts before making your next move.

“You’re so dead.” You say with a wicked smile on your face.

You go to push him into the pool but he quickly grabs your hands in his, pulling you down with him. You brace yourself to hit the pool for the second time that morning, but this time when you resurface you turn to Jonah.

“You’re such a jerk.” You say before splashing your best friend with water.

Jonah smiles at you once again and you both slowly get out of the water. You wring out your clothes as best as possible before heading back into the Why Don’t We house.

“Damn what happened to you?” Jack asks as you walk into the living room.

“Ask the jackass that threw me into the pool.” You respond gesturing to Jonah.

“So worth it.” Jonah responds from across the room.

You simply roll your eyes and head upstairs to Jonah’s room to steal some clothes for the day. You had stayed over at the compound last night which definitely wasn’t a rarity. You were there almost every weekend to spend time with your best friend and his band mates before they head off for tour once again.You and Jonah had been best friends for quite sometime now. Neither of you could really remember how this came to be but one day you started to hangout and you hadn’t stopped since. After changing you head into the boys bathroom to look for shaving cream.

Once you find some you head back downstairs so you can get revenge on Jonah properly. You hear his voice coming from the kitchen and you quickly pour some shaving cream into your hand.

Suddenly Zach emerges from the kitchen and you quickly signal him to stay quiet. He simply smirks at you and watches as you sneak into the kitchen.

“Are those my clothes?” Jonah asks when he spots you.

“Maybe.” You respond.

“What are you hiding?” He asks as you walk closer to him.

Instead of responding you quickly reach up and land a smack on his left cheek, causing shaving cream to go everywhere. Jonah sits there stunned causing you to laugh loudly.

“Oh you’re so gonna get it.” Jonah finally says before chasing after you.

You quickly run away but you’re sadly not fast enough and Jonah catches you by the waist. He drags you towards him and wipes a bit of excess shaving cream onto your cheek. You gasp loudly and shove Jonah away from you.

“You’re such a jackass this morning.” You say in disbelief but with a smile still stuck on your face.

“A jackass in need of a shower because of you.” He points out. “Wanna join me?” He adds on with a wink.

“In your dreams.” You smirk at him and push him towards the stairs.

When Jonah leaves you turn to walk into the bathroom downstairs to shower quickly when you run into Daniel.

“Indeed, in your dreams.” He says smiling widely at you.

“Oh shut it.” You say and jokingly push him as you walk away. After you shower and get all cleaned up you and the rest of the boys head over to Logan’s to film. When you get there Logan greets you with a bear hug.

“(Y/N)!!” He yells out loudly with a smile on his face.

“Hey Logie bear.” You say while reflecting his smile.

As the boys pile into Logan’s apartment and set up for their new mashup you and Logan catch up a bit.

“So, have you told Jonah?” He asks almost instantly.

“What do you think?” You respond sarcastically.

He holds his hands up in defense before continuing. “I still say you should just go for it.” He advises.

Instead of responding you look over at Jonah. He’s completely in the zone, listening to the other boys harmonies to get his right. He closes his eyes as he hums along in concentration. When he opens them again he looks over at you and smiles causing you to blush.

“Or maybe I’m wrong.” Logan says from next to you.

He walks over to the boys and you watch the process of them filming their new mashup. Once they’re done the boys decide that they want to go out for dinner.  

“(Y/N/N), you coming?” Daniel asks snapping you out of your small trance.

“Nah. I think I’m just gonna head back home.” You respond as you suppress a small yawn.

“I’ll drive you.” Jonah offers and stands up next to you.

Together in a comfortable silence you and Jonah head out in his car back to your place. He walks you to your apartment floor and when you get to your front door you turn to face him. As you stare into his familiar green eyes you remember what Logan said and one of your favorite quotes.

Twenty seconds of insane courage.

“I’m in love with you.” You blurt out.

“What?” Jonah asks instantly.

“I’m in love with you. And it sucks because we’re best friends and you leave for tour soon and-”

Jonah cuts you off by carefully taking your face in his hands. Without a word he places his lips on yours in a kiss that makes you go weak in the knees. As if Jonah can tell, he carefully lifts you into his arms and you wrap your legs around his waist.

The kiss is slow and steady as he carries you to your bedroom. He places you on your bed and attaches his lips to your neck. He trails up and down your neck and your hands find his hair. You tug and pull slightly causing Jonah to lift his head and reattach your lips.

You tug at his shirt and he quickly takes it off. You admire him for a second, carefully running your hands over his chest. He takes your hands and places them above your head before attaching your lips, getting lost in each other for the first of many times that night.

You wake up the next morning to an empty bed. You slowly get out of bed and walk into your living room. When you don’t find Jonah there you check the kitchen. Pain slowly fills your heart as you realize Jonah had left you.

You pace throughout your living room as your brain goes into overdrive. Did you do something wrong? Did Jonah not feel the same way as you? Instead of wracking your brain by yourself you call Logan and ask him to come over. Logan had always been like an older brother to you and knew about your love for Jonah. Hell, he was the one that convinced you to tell Jonah.

“Yo, (Y/N) are you okay?” Logan asks when he steps into your apartment. Your phone call with him had been short and a bit frantic causing Logan to worry about his young friend.

“I told Jonah last night and we uh-” You say trailing off. “And when I woke up he was gone. Did I do something wrong? Do you think he hates me?” You ramble with questions that have been wracking your brain.

“Hey, hey, come here.” Logan says pulling you into a tight hug. You sigh quietly as you push your face further into his chest.

“It’s going to be okay, just talk to him.” Logan advises.

You stand outside of the Why Don’t We house less than an hour later. You decided to take Logan’s advice and talk to Jonah about last night. You finally take a deep breath and reach forward to ring the doorbell. 

“Hey (Y/N/N).” Daniel says, greeting you with a smile. “What’s wrong?” He asks noticing your serious expression.

“Is Jonah here? I need to talk to him.”

“He’s in his room.” He says and before he can ask you anything else you walk past him and towards Jonah’s room.

When you get to his door you square your shoulders before knocking. You hear him call out for you to come in and you slip inside his room before shutting the door behind you.

“Can we talk?”

Jonah’s head snaps up at the sound of your voice and you can see the worry in his eyes. He nods his head and you sit down at the end of his bed.

“Why did you leave?” You ask quietly.

“Because-” He begins but stops and sighs frustratedly. He runs a hand through his hair before finishing his sentence. “Because last night shouldn’t have happened.”

You could feel your heart shatter immediately. You gave this boy your all and he didn’t even feel the same way. You push back your ever growing tears and sit up straighter.

“I don’t want to ruin our friendship (Y/N/N).”

When you don’t say anything Jonah takes your hand in his making you look at him. You quickly pull your hand from his causing his face to fall.

“Are we okay?”

“Yeah Jonah.” You snap standing up. “We’re perfect.”

You speed walk out of his room unable to look at him anymore. You run down the stairs as tears begin to blur your vision. When you hit the last stair you run straight into someone.

“(Y/N)? Are you okay? What happened?” Daniel asks holding onto your shoulders to look at you.

“I have to go.” You choke out before pushing past him and heading to the front door.

You run to your car and start it instantly driving far away from the boy that broke your heart. When you finally get to Logan’s, you head up to his apartment and ring the doorbell. As you wait for him you cross your arms and try to hold back the tears.

Right when Logan sees your face he immediately pulls you towards him. For the second time today you wrap your arms around his torso and push your face into his chest.

With his arms still around you, Logan walks you inside his apartment and shuts the door. He leads you over to his couch and you sit down. Suddenly you feel tears on your cheeks and you go to wipe them away only to have Logan stop you.

He carefully wipes away your tears with the pad of his thumb before holding your face in his hands. “What happened?” He asks finally.

Through many more tears you explain to Logan the events of the past hour. He listens intently and once you’re finished he pulls you into his arms once again.

“I’m gonna murder him.” Logan decides after a moment.

“Logan don’t.” You say sitting up to face him.

“You don’t deserve that bullshit.” Logan says standing up. He turns towards the door and as if on cue the doorbell rings.

“I swear to God.” Logan mutters under his breath before answering the door. You hear him sigh in relief causing you to let go of the breath you were holding. You peek around Logan to spot Daniel walking through the doorway.

“Listen, even though I’m not mad at you, I am mad at your bandmate so where is he?” Logan snaps at Daniel.

Daniel ignores Logan and rushes over to you. “What happened with Jonah?” He asks with worry written all over his face.

“He’s a dick. That’s what happened.” Logan retorts from behind Daniel.

“I know you mean the best,” You begin slowly. “But I really can’t be around you or any of the guys right now.”

“But-“

“You heard her Daniel.” Logan says placing a hand on Daniel’s shoulder.

With one last worried glance, Daniel leaves and you collapse against Logan’s couch with a sigh. Logan makes his way back over to you and pulls you into his arms for what felt like the billionth time that night.

“It’ll be okay.” He whispers.

It had been about two weeks since the Jonah incident and you were trying to push it to the furthest part in your brain. If you didn’t think about it you could make it through the days with your heart still intact.

The boys had gone on tour making it a bit easier on you. Today was a bit harder because for some reason everything reminded you of him. The coffee you had this morning, the song playing on the radio was one he loved, a sweatshirt you saw in a shop that he owned, everything.

You were finally home for the day and you were extremely relieved. You kicked off your shoes at the front door and dropped your bag on the couch in your living room. Just as you start to walk away towards your bedroom your phone rings loudly.

You fish your phone out of your bag and answer it without looking to see who called you. “Hello?”

“(Y/N)?” You hear from the other line.

“Jonah?” You ask as the voice registers in your head.

“(Y/N), I-i love you.” He slurs out.

“Are you drunk?”

“M-maybe.” He says and you can almost see the smirk on his face.

“Jonah.” You start sighing annoyedly.

“I still remember the way you taste.” He continues and you can feel yourself blush.

“Where are you?” You asks as you start to pace the room.

“Canada.”

“Oh my-“ You say as worry floods you. “Are you with the boys?”

“Maybe?” Jonah says uncertainly.

“Shit.” You curse quietly. “Jonah stay where you are okay?”

You hang up the phone before hearing Jonah’s response and quickly dial Daniel’s number. He picks up in two rings and you could already hear the worry in his voice.

“(Y/N)? What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

“Are you with Jonah?” You ask ignoring his questions.

“He’s in his hotel room.” Daniel says as his tone of worry changes to confusion.

“Can you go check on him? He just called me and he sounds pretty drunk.” You explain quickly.

You hear silence on the other end and then Daniel opening and closing a door. You hear a voice and then a response before Daniel begins talking once more.

“He’s okay. Drunk as all hell but he’s okay.” You sigh in relief and thank Daniel but not before telling him to keep you updated.

Throughout the night you had gotten many drunk texts from Jonah and a few updates from Daniel. Jonah’s texts mostly stayed along the lines of “I miss you” or “I’m in love with you” but you ignored them.

You knew when Jonah wakes up the next morning he’ll forget everything. The texts didn’t mean a damn thing and you weren’t gonna sit here and get your hopes up.

The next morning you woke up to an apology text from Jonah causing you to roll your eyes. You continued your Saturday per usual, slowly waking up and making breakfast. As you begin to mix the batter for your biscuits your doorbell rings.

You walk over to the front door and swing it open not caring who sees you in your shorts and t-shirt with messy hair. When your eyes lock with the strangers at the door you recognize them immediately.

“Jonah?” You exclaim. “What the hell are you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be in Canada?”

“Well I was in Canada.” He states as he walks into your apartment and shuts the door behind him. “But I needed to see you.”

“Jonah what the hell you can’t just-“

Before you can finish your sentence Jonah places a hand on your cheek. Your eyes snap to his and you can feel yourself melting in his gaze.

“I meant what I said last night.” He whispers. “I’m in love with you. And I was scared to admit it because I couldn’t believe that you loved me too.”

“Jonah I-“

You’re cut off once again by Jonah’s other hand coming up to cup your other cheek. His eyes flicker from yours to your lips before he speaks once more.

“What happens if I do this?” He asks uncertainly.

“Why don’t you find out?” You whisper.

With those few words Jonah’s lips are on yours and you immediately feel weak at the knees. Your hands find their way to his neck as his hands slip to your waist, pulling you closer. When you break apart you’re absolutely breathless.

You loved this boy with all your heart. And you now knew he loved you too.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Peep the We Bought A Zoo reference because I’m in love with that movie

“Heartbreak” Jacob Black x Swan!Reader

Originally posted by onlygodcanjudgeme-sh

Summary: You are Bella’s younger sister who is completely unaware of all things supernatural. She is completely in love with Jacob, but he tries his best to keep her at a distance to protect her, but it completely backfires when she sees him kissing her sister. 

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With a Little Help

Written for @rareshipcreationschallenge: @ilostmyshoe-79 vs. @otrera-kicks-ass

Prompt: pumpkin spice lattes and severed fingers

Pairing: Sam x Eileen

Warning: typical canon violence, smut

Word Count: 2200

A/N: So much fun writing Saileen! Hope you guys enjoy it! XOXO

“It’s the ring! The ring she’s wearing is cursed!” Sam shouts his words across the room, knowing Eileen can’t hear him. His legs are tensed, struggling with whatever this curse is that has him paralyzed on the floor, like his feet are stuck in cement. By the grace of some higher power, or more likely by sheer luck, his hands are free, and he waves them wildly until he catches Eileen’s attention.

“It’s her ring!” he says again, pointing to his own finger and then back at the woman.

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Thoughts Roundup - Twin Peaks: The Return, Part 17 & 18

“It is a story of many, but begins with one - and I knew her. The one leading to the many is Laura Palmer. Laura is the one”. So said the Log Lady in her iconic introduction to the first ever Twin Peaks. Just as Laura became a conduit to the town and its people, all these people led right back to Laura Palmer. She was at the end of every road, her photograph lived in all the town’s buildings, and even decades later in The Return, her face emerges slowly from the trees during the opening credits. What was about her always will be about her, and that cannot be changed. 

Everything in these two hours presents easier answers than Laura does, but that has always been true of her - she’s the one still filled with secrets. There is something of a heartbreaking, world-changing realisation in this finale, the kind of realisation that the patrons of the Roadhouse had when Maddie Palmer was killed. There was no way for them to know what had happened, but they felt it. Twin Peaks has always been about feeling rather than knowing. It feels like falling, like the world is being rocked from its axis, and it is the show at its most powerful.

There is a common idea in Television Finales that the last episode is where something concludes - where the world, for better or worse, is put to rights. And when this finale feels like it’s heading towards that, it takes a violent u-turn and reminds us that Twin Peaks has never been normal television.

The hellish final fight between Freddie and Bob is visually very Lynchian, yet there is an unusual amount of literalness and resolution to it. Just as Freddie punches Bob through the floor, the BobBall (there’s gotta to be a better word for it) rises again, a terrifying and unstoppable anthropomorphised nightmare that violates our screen, bursting from it with visceral and unknowable force. When Bob crawled over the couch in the Palmer house and came directly towards the camera, that was an invasive and affective moment, but this is that moment amplified to unbearable measures. But he still is vanquished, broken into small pieces and absorbed through the ceiling of the office. And after everything Doppelcoop had been through, after all the vicious, hardened monsters he’d come up against - it was Lucy who killed him with a single gunshot and sent him packing back to the black lodge. 

Lucy gets her heroic moment (She has always been an unsung hero, a smarter-than-you’d-think character who, despite struggling with mobile phones, still gets things done when she needs to) and even though all of these moments feel suspiciously neat and tidy, it’s hard not to be delighted by them. It turns out Naido is Diane as many suspected (and we finally learned earlier that Judy is the ancient evil being referred to in The Secret History of Twin Peaks, and most likely the experiment we saw in the box in New York) and her and Coop’s embrace is satisfying but again, very convenient. And then - right on time! - here’s Gordon, Tammy and Albert! And Bobby, The Mitchum Brothers, James and Freddie! They’re all here, all your favourite characters! And at any moment it almost feels like someone is about to come in and say “Coop, this telegram came for you - your old pal Harry Truman says ‘Coop, i’ve sent you a piece of cherry pie and a coffee, and i’ll be home soon. Hee-Haw, and Merry Christmas!’”. It feels unreal and purposefully kind of artificial. But something tells us this is off. 

After interacting with Naido/Diane, Dale looks as though he’s almost regressing back to who he was before waking up. But instead, he’s remembering something. He’s met her before, in another world. His moment of realisation echoes throughout the scene, as a transparent and ghostly image of Dale’s face dominates the frame and the rest of the action occurs, visually, inside his head. He remembers something, and we begin to suspect that none - or all - of these worlds are real, including the one we’re in now. 

Earlier in the episode, Cooper commented that the time 2.53pm is 2+5+3 which is “10, the number of completion”. The clock in the sheriff’s office cannot move on. It is stuck between 2.52 and 2.53. Time moves strangely and completion cannot be reached. There is something missing, which the transparent Dale comments on: “We Live Inside A Dream”. He also says that past dictates the future and that things will change, and suddenly, everything does start to change. As Dale will soon change the course of history, the moments in the office begin to feel unreal. Their current existence can’t exist as it does if what happened in the past is undone. The dream will soon be shattered, and it’s already starting to fracture. Is it future or past? One and the same. 

The past dictates the future, so if the past can be changed, then there are infinite ways that the story could turn out. There are versions where Laura was killed, versions where she lived, versions where she was never born in the first place. The version that we know is a dream inasmuch as it is just one version of events. It’s a version that was directly affected by Bob because he killed Laura. And so, as the sinking feeling begins again, the lights go out in the office and Dale, Gordon and Diane find themselves removed from the office and walking through darkness. Is this what it’s like to go missing in Twin Peaks? Is this what it was like for Jeffries or Desmond? And are the people in the Sheriff’s office still there, wondering just where the hell those three went? Or are they non-ex-ist-ent?

The trio find themselves in the basement of the Great Northern hotel. The door to which Dale has the key is maybe the final and most important precipice that he pushes himself through. Though he has been guided by The Fireman, this decision is what changes everything, and it’s a decision that we now know was not the right decision. It’s so painful, in hindsight, to see Dale so plucky and optimistic going into this. He so selflessly wants happiness for everyone, and not only that but wants to remove pain that exists now and has existed seemingly forever. He wants to be the ultimate hero, and once he’s in 1989 and writing himself into Laura’s history, he begins to act as a version of The Fireman. Jeffries has sent him here, after telling him where to find Judy, (”Say hello to Gordon. He’ll remember the unofficial version”), and at first Laura sees him hiding and screams. It’s an absolutely ingenious retconning of events, and visually it is seamless. The events that we see from Fire Walk With Me feel and look like a distant dream that Dale tries to wake her up from. When Laura stumbles through the woods, she sees Dale, looking tall, benevolent and completely out of place, much like The Fireman did whenever he appeared. 

As Laura Palmer’s theme chimes in, and as you hear her voice again, sounding so young and so sweet, it is overwhelmingly moving. You know that he is here to save her, and it is the bittersweetness of wishing this could happen and knowing that it cannot that makes you ache. As he lead her away, her plastic-wrapped corpse disappears from the beach, and Pete Martell finally gets to go fishing. It is almost too much to fathom, but as Dale leads her through the darkest woods, through complete silence, we know that it cannot be that simple. The sound the Fireman played back in Part 1 finally triggers something, and Laura is gone again, her agonising scream shattering our hopes. Laura is gone. She hasn’t been saved, she has been entirely relocated, and Sarah Palmer - or Judy, who seems to live inside her - feels this. The smashing and stabbing of Laura’s portrait by Sarah is violently ugly, and the editing as her strikes are reversed and chopped up is masterful. Someone has stolen her Garmonbozia. 

When Dale makes it out of those dark woods, he’s in the Black Lodge again, and this is where things start to look familiar. Laura’s whispered secret causes Dale some confusion, and she is ripped out of the lodge and placed in another time and another place. Her whisper is something we will never know, but it isn’t something Dale is happy to hear. “You can’t save me”. “You killed me”. “I’m in Odessa”. Who knows - it could’ve been any of these things, or none of these things. The point, really, is that we don’t know. We almost feel as if her words would somehow answer a cosmic question that’d make everything fall into place, but would they really? What could she say to make any of this okay? I think Dale’s reaction - an incredulous “huh?” - says that he is realising what we are all realising throughout this episode. Some awful, horrible truth. And even still, he listens to Leland - “find Laura”. 

Outside of the Lodge at Glastonbury Grove, it’s hard to tell what is real in the darkness of the woods. Diane is there, and Dale and her confirm to each other that they are their real selves. But by this stage, we don’t know who they are anymore. This is further obfuscated by the purposeful lack of time that we spend with Dale and Diane together. They are suddenly driving somewhere far, far away from Twin Peaks - 430 miles to be exact - to the place that Doppelcoop crashed and was nearly taken back to the lodge at the top of the season. And it’s here, next to crackling electric pylons that physically resemble the owl cave symbol we’ve seen time and time again, that Dale and Diane go through the final door. (Speaking of final doors, i’m so delighted to see a version of Coop/Dougie returning home to Janey-E and Sonny Jim. It was a long time coming, but it’s nice to see that sometimes you really can go home).

They know things will be different on the other side, but don’t they already feel different? We have been entirely disconnected from the rest of the characters in the finale, and that makes wherever Dale is seem completely isolated. The last of Dale as we know him is gone after one final kiss, and the blue skies turn into the darkest of nights once again - we are in another place. In this other place, Dale and Diane are still themselves, but they’ve lost something. Dale is colder, slower and quieter. Diane seems to be in pain again. At a motel, she stares out of her car window and sees herself emerge quietly from behind a wall. Perhaps this was a warning to her to get away. That the identity of Diane would be dead by the morning if she stayed. She stayed, and the world changed. 

Nothing has ever felt as wrong as their sex scene feels. Dale is emotionless and still throughout, not even reacting as Diane claws at and mashes his face; she looks towards the ceiling, desperate to be far away. It feels like they are becoming other people, they are slipping away from who they are into entirely different roles. It feels sickly and uncomfortable, as if the more they try to get closer, the further apart they drift. They aren’t themselves anymore.

She is gone when he wakes up, and in this other world they’ve passed into, she has fully accepted her identity as Linda. It is a continuing theme from Lost Highway, a nightmarish concept of finding out that you are not who you thought you were. Dale doesn’t accept that he’s Richard, and is confused by the letter he finds naming him as Richard, and signed Linda. Dale is holding on for dear life, but even he has to acknowledge that outside, the motel is not the one they entered last night, and the car he gets into is not the car they drove last night - if it even was last night. Identity is a big theme in Lynch’s work, and Dale bases his identity on being an enthusiastic, kind and hard-working man, but now he is being pushed further and further away from that until he is literally somebody else.

Dale seems to drive without direction. He’s not his usual determined self, and not a note of music is heard now. He drives through a flat, faceless but realistic looking town. The banality receives a jolt of terror, as a giant “JUDY’S” sign makes the place feel manufactured again. Inside the cafe, Dale is different. He doesn’t enjoy his coffee, he is far more violent than usual when dispatching the three men in the cafe (though gotta admit: they deserved it), and there is a spark gone from his eyes. He’s Dale minus something. He leaves Judy’s with his information on where to find “Laura” and waiting outside Laura’s - or Carrie’s, as she’s known in this reality - is that same buzzing telephone pole that was found in the fat trout trailer park. It is a symbol, a warning, a normal object repurposed as a symbol of something evil and dangerous. It is directly outside her house. Dale recognises this but continues.

There is such pain in seeing Laura not as Laura. She has disappeared from one reality to be thrown into one manufactured by Judy which sees her as Carrie, someone with a great deal of pain inside her too. Nervous and unsettled, she reacts with a stuttering dread to the name “Sarah”. She is on the verge of a realisation, even if she brushes off being told by Dale that she is a girl named Laura. He seems to have such a lack of control in this scene. He asks rambling, untidy questions that don’t get him anywhere. He has little sense of authority, and is easily confused by what he learns. He is Richard in this timeline, or at least, he was supposed to be. He’s holding onto Dale but he’s not as strong as he was. He wants to wake Laura up and to take her home, but what does he expect from that? Does he really think Laura can be saved, and Judy defeated? Would Laura really want to return home? Dale doesn’t think of this because he’s fixated on fixing things. But he ruptured something when he went back to 1989.

It’s hard to say what is more troubling in Carrie/Laura’s living room: the corpse, or the figurine on her mantle of the white horse. “Woe to the ones who behold the pale horse”, we were told by the Log Lady. Woe to Dale and woe to Carrie/Laura. We have descended fully into this netherworld with them and cut off contact with what is familiar. The focus that they get in this last episode begins to hint that this is it. As the minutes go on, we know there cannot be an encompassing closure. There are threads and stories that won’t be tied off. You can think of these last moments as a detour, but they’re a detour that close the story in an eternal, figure 8 loop. Just as the first ever episode of Twin Peaks shifted gear with Dale driving into the town, the final parts close with the same journey. The first time, he’d gone to save the memory of a girl named Laura Palmer. The second, he’s come to bring that girl back to life. 

And so they drive, and drive, and drive. She is happy to be leaving Odessa, to be far away from Judy’s and White Horses. She doesn’t know exactly what to expect, but she accepts the ride. The dark night ahead of them is the longest yet. The headlights on the road linger for so long. They are leaving Odessa on an odyssey through the lost highways and into woods of Laura’s memories. The blackness becomes all encompassing, this becomes their dark night of the soul. We are going deeper into this world and deeper into Laura, and we wait for any sign that she is who she was. She looks out the window and the douglas fir trees fail to trigger anything for her. They pass the Double R diner - the lights are off and the streets are empty - and still nothing. 

This isn’t home anymore. It wasn’t home when Laura was alive, either. It was a trap for her, just as Odessa was a trap. Twin Peaks was not a dream, but a nightmare for Laura. It was her dream - her nightmare - that they all lived inside. And Dale fails to recognise this and now he’s broken it. He wants for that to be erased and replaced with something better, but if she is erased, then how can it all exist? The Log Lady once said: “When this kind of fire starts, it is very hard to put out. The tender boughs of innocence burn first, and the wind rises, and then all goodness is in jeopardy.”. Dale is a hero for trying to put that fire out, but Margaret was right: goodness is in jeopardy, and it isn’t easy, or possible, to save it this way.

At the house, Dale bumbles through questions to the owner. No, there’s no Sarah Palmer here. No, we didn’t buy the house from her. The answer that we do get says so much: her name is Alice Tremond, and she bought the house from Mrs Chalfont - both names given to a woman who existed both in our world and in the black lodge. Though she was largely benevolent, this hammers home that this isn’t the Twin Peaks we know. Something is very off. We are in their house now. Is this the same woman who will one day give Laura the painting of a doorway? There is too much to comprehend in these questions, and back on the street, it all washes over Dale as he is wounded in confusion. He tries to hold onto some semblance of reality, like a dream upon waking. But he is powerless again - he hasn’t delivered Laura home, he hasn’t saved her, and home doesn’t really exist anymore. 

The curtains are torn down and the realities crash into one, the dream has ended, and now we face a world where he and Laura possibly don’t exist. By taking Laura from the woods and delivering Laura back here, has he killed the memory of her? The question that strikes Dale is “What year is this?”. He staggers around in confusion; Laura looks down, beginning to tremble. She doesn’t know what year it is. She is on the cusp of a realisation, of a memory, of this dream she is in being shattered as the other one was. It is all too much to bear, until a familiar sound sends everything crashing to the ground. 

The sound is the haunted, ghostly voice of Sarah Palmer calling “Laura?” from the house. It isn’t just her calling the name - but the exact clip from the first episode of Sarah calling upstairs to Laura. A memory, a fragment of who she was and what happened to her, is calling out from some deep, dark and distant world. And like Doppelcoop’s ominous “:-) ALL” text message, the sound lights a fire and and she remembers everything. She does the only thing she can do, and we hear maybe the most famous, haunting and agonising sound in all of Twin Peaks: the primal scream of Laura Palmer.

Dale looks in fear, in shock. He has got what he wanted, but he’s realising what he wanted is not what is right. A pain that has lasted forever and will last forever is reawakened in her. Dale can go back and try to change history, and he can destroy the timeline as we know it: but he cannot undo the pain and the fear. Laura was killed. He tries to kill two birds with one stone: to save her from death, and then bring her back home. But she cannot be brought back home without remembering what happened to her. This kills her all over again. It is a paradox of anguish, a full circle that is destined to loop forever. Her scream shatters the dream, and the lights in the Palmer house suddenly shut off. She has broken something. And before we see where they go next - to non-existence, back to the start, or wherever else you like to imagine - it cuts to black, the only sound lingering is the echo of her scream. It will always echo. It will always have been, and it always will be. 

As the credits begin to roll, Dale and Laura are in the Lodge again, and she is whispering a secret into his ear in slow motion. Fear and confusion are written across his face. He is realising she cannot be saved. Perhaps he is realising his attempts to fix things have made them worse. He has shattered her dream, the dream of Twin Peaks, and as a result undone his reality as well as her’s. He has trapped himself between worlds. He longs to see, but he has never been able to wake up fully from his own dream. He has never been able to stare reality in the face and realise that he cannot save the world. If Twin Peaks has been Laura’s dream, it makes it no less real. It all happened, she saw it all unfold in her dreams, she saw herself sacrificed and much later, she saw Bob finally defeated. But then Dale undid this. 

It is impossible to think of this all in literal terms. I don’t think any of it was invalidated, and I don’t believe that it was all as simple as a literal dream. I think instead that we’ve been privy to a version of events and everyone has played inside that. Maybe that version was Laura’s dream and that’s the one that should’ve been. The Return has asked us repeatedly to question who the dreamer is, to challenge everything we are seeing, because nothing is ever simple, and nothing is ever really finished. 

Everyone believed The Return referred to Dale’s return to Twin Peaks. It didn’t. It referred to Dale trying to return the world to how he believed it should be - a place free from the abuse and murder of Laura Palmer. And he’s right, we shouldn’t live in a world where that kind of thing happens. But ultimately it did happen. Dale is powerless and misguided, because instead of learning from past trauma and building a healthy road away from that, he attempts to drive back down that dark road and delete and invalidate the existence of that trauma. That can never be done. You cannot remove it without removing everything along with it. Where he should’ve focussed on dismantling the evil going forward, he focussed on undoing the damage.

I don’t know if Laura will ever find peace in this, or any dream. I don’t know if Dale will, either. It is a painful realisation that home will never be the home you thought it was, and that you cannot go back and recapture what once existed. And the ending is certainly a bleak one that argues that we get caught in desperate cycles of trying to control and fix our pasts and futures. But what it also applauds is thorough and dedicated goodness, as well as the benefit of attentiveness and listening. Dale was goodness incarnate, but he didn’t listen as he should have. Perhaps we can make things better, perhaps we can help others and overcome evil. But we have to listen to do that. We can’t strip away the experiences of others, but we can listen and learn from them. The reason the ending was so dark was because of Dale’s flaw - that he didn’t learn this.

The Return has been about learning and about listening. It is a testament to understanding and appreciating the world around us, and loving each other enough to hear what they tell us. We shouldn’t give up. We should pay better attention. We should listen to what those in pain tell us. We should do as the log lady told us and listen to the trees blowing and the river flowing. We might never find answers that will satisfy us entirely, but we can pursue these questions, we can behold the mystery, and in this, we can try and make things better. And if we listen and look closely enough, we might just find a light shining in those darkest of nights. 

Run Away Baby Ch. 1 (Steve Rogers x reader)

Hey darlings! I hope your day is going well. It’s Monday, and well, I’m having trouble getting through it. I have so much stuff that I need to get down, so please forgive me if I don’t keep up with the fic schedule I posted yesterday. I will get back on track with it when all my work calms down. It’s extremely hectic with AP tests coming up.. I’m going to try my best though. Enjoy the first official chapter of “Run Away Baby” and I love you all. xoxo

Description: Pregnant with Steve Rogers’ child, your husband, you’re a happily married couple. He moved you to the countryside, trying to keep you away from as much harm as possible. Isolated, and by yourself most of the time, you always worried about him when he went away. But, marriage couldn’t have been better for the two of you for the three years since you had taken his last name. But, one night, when Steve’s out on a mission, you get a call from Nick Fury telling you to get as far away from your house as possible.

Warnings: Cursing

Intro

MASTERLIST


The sound of your phone vibrating against the coffee table brought you from your sleep. You groaned, blindly reaching for it. Your fingertips were met with the smooth glass, and you tilted the screen towards you to see who was calling. Your vision was a little blurry; you were still groggy, but the name on your phone was as clear as day. It was Nick Fury. 

“Shit.” You sat up as quickly as you could despite the extra weight on your belly. You knew it must be urgent because there were over ten missed calls from him. You had a sinking feeling in your stomach. What if something happened to Steve? You redialed his number, pressing the phone to your ear. It seemed like the dial tone went on forever, but he finally picked up. “Nick, what happening?” 

“F/N, get yourself out of that house. Drive, and drive as far away as possible. You need to leave. Now.” His voice was instructive and stern. 

“Wait, why? Tell me what’s going on!” You were starting to panic, and your breaths were becoming more labored. “Don’t tell me something happened to Steve…” The sudden realization of what might have occurred seemed to stop your heart as tears came to your eyes. 

“F/N, I need you to listen to me. You need to gather up your things and get the hell out of there.” He paused, trying to find a way to break the news to you. “Steve… he’s not the man you think he is. He’s with H.Y.D.R.A.” A dead silence came through the line, neither of you saying anything. 

“What?” You couldn’t believe the words that just came out of his mouth. You suddenly felt like you couldn’t breathe. 

“Get out of your house, get in your car, and go to the address that I just sent you. It’s a safe house in New Jersey that not even the team knows about. Steve is a double agent, and you need to leave before he hurts you. Do you understand?” He was trying to be as gentle as he could, given the circumstances. You were completely quiet on the other line. “F/N, I need you to do this. Please. I don’t want you or the baby getting hurt. Just listen to me and I’ll explain when you get there.” 

“O-okay..” You were choking on sobs. This didn’t feel real, but it was. 

“You need to move quick, he’s already on his way to you. Call me when you get in the car.” He hung up the line, and you took a moment to realize what just happened. It all seemed to hit you at once, and you frantically got up, grabbing the few essentials that were needed for you and the baby. Not only were your hot tears obstructing your vision, but your child wasn’t cooperating and seemed to kick every five seconds. 

“Come on, kid. You need to work with me here.” You sighed, looking down at your belly. Your keys were sitting on the table, and you swiped them off the counter, and grabbed your bag off the floor. You decided you might as well keep the lights on, trying to make him think you were still at home. You swung open the front door, and closed it behind you. Your hands were shaking as you fumbled with putting the key into the lock. As you heard the click of the lock, you heard footsteps coming up your porch steps. 

“And where might you be going?” The more than familiar voice sent chills down your spine. You felt him staring daggers into your back as you turned to face him. 

“Stay the fuck away from me.” Your words seethed through your teeth as your tears began to sting your eyes. Steve no longer looked like the happy man you thought you knew. He had an evil smirk on his face as he leaned against the railing, his hands shoved in the pockets of his suit. It wasn’t his dashing Captain America uniform you had grown to love. It was black with the H.Y.D.R.A. symbol across his chest instead of his silver star. “You’re not the man I married..” You took a step away from him, you back pressing up against the door. 

“You’re right, I’m not. I never was because that was all just one, big, fucking act to smuggle myself into S.H.I.E.L.D. You were just there to ensure it, along with the child.” He looked you up and down, giving you a disgusted look. 

“That was what I was? Just to fortify your alibi?” You face was hot and red. “I didn’t mean anything to you?” You furrowed your eyebrows together, looking up at him in confused hatred. 

“I was never in love with you.” He took his weight off of the railing and began to walk towards you. “You didn’t mean a thing to me, and the baby sure as hell doesn’t either.” He shook his head, the loving looks he used to give you were now a distant memory, and the only thing you saw in his eyes were pure evil. 

“No!” You tried to run away, but you were heavily pregnant; you were seven months along. He grabbed your wrist roughly, bringing you to your knees. You sobbed, the pain coursing up your arm. 

“You’re not going anywhere.” He looked down at you, his face expressionless. 

“You don’t have to do this, Steve. Please.” Your eyes searched for at least a piece of the man you used to know, but there was nothing left. 

“Honey, you’re just collateral damage.”


Ahhhh, I hoped you liked it! I’ll try and have the next chapter of “Secret of These Hands” or a one shot tonight for you guys! I have a request in my arsenal that I haven’t been able to get to, but I really want to write it. Have a wonderful rest of your day! xoxo

TAGLIST IS OPEN FOR THIS SERIES.

Taglist:

@usernamesarebitches @purplekitten30 @only-little-glances @red-writer13 @justmasblack @abbyg723 @barely-emily @ekinsyikin @queenvulca @ok-ladies-lets-get-in-formation @smadrat @dont-rain-on-my-fandom @opaque-daydream @red-bandana-girl @spiderlingy @cakeisforchumps @noir-agneau @borntodieabitch @ladywitheclecticheart @steggy4ever @itsemmyb @xkaciesearlex @natasha-rxmanova @allyp1023 @hollycornish @brauni2001 @fashion-masquerade @angelicaxmichelle @finleythetalkingdog @mcfuccfairy @fandomlover2001 @elegantnightmareshiro @buckysplumfondler @arabellaaurorabarnes @imgettingmarriedtobuckybarnes @badassbaker @life-is-fuucked @elwenia @addictionmarvel

the foxhole court family <3
  • basically neil adores his family 
  • like he is 100% invested in them 
  • and they are so proud of him (yes, even kevin)
  • like kevin and him will sit for hours rewatching the same Exy games, making terrible exy jokes (’hey, day?’ ‘what?’ ‘this is exylent’) 
  • and neil will agree to sample his protein shakes even though they all taste horrible and healthy 
  • like basically the two are indeed friends, no matter what reporters says, seeing kevin day basically screaming at neil for being so fucking stupid half the court away, neil flipping him off without even looking. 
  • neil also always waits for renee after her bible group. they meet late every wednesday and end around 10 at night and he finishes class at 9 but he doesn’t mind waiting because it is a long walk across campus at night and he knows renee is perfectly capable of walking by herself, he just thinks she might not mind the company. 
  • she always tells him what pastel colour she plans on dying next, and he always asks how she does it exactly because renee’s hair always looks so perfect and they exchange hair dye tips and tricks. 
  • allison makes him go shopping 
  • and neil lets her critique his barely held together converse shoes. 
  • basically they spend entire days together and she drives him far away from the university and it helps him deal with his anxiety, with the car going faster and faster until the stress goes away. 
  • he’s also right there beside her at women right protests and movements, because he does not understand why guys think its weird to support how strong women really are. 
  • allison totally paints his nails for those events and he never minds. he likes it most when she does orange and white because he is such a team spirit nerd. 
  • dan and matt always take him out for pizza since it’s his favorite food. 
  • they go see a movie and basically run around taking the weirdest instagram photos e v e r. 
  • like neil planking in front of a fountain? got it. 
  • dan flipping off the statue of christopher fucking columbus? got it. 
  • matt trying to coax of a bunny rabbit in the park to trust him and be his forever best buddy? you better believe they got it. 
  • fans adore their instagram accounts. 
  • basically neil is dan and matt’s child and they adore him 
  • some idiot tries to attack nicky for being gay on twitter?
  • ohhhh poor life choice buddy because did you not know that is neil’s domain? 
  • like riko may have thought he was king of exy, but neil is the master of twitter. 
  • like basically he does not stop. he shreds the poor ignorant bastard and educates him on why exactly he is wrong and basically whenever someone tries to attack nicky’s sexuality he is right there ready to fight. 
  • (he is also the more polite one nicky can introduce erik without as much fear to because really? aaron or andrew? please son. neil is the one with more evolved manners, even if they aren’t much.)
  • aaron and him have a more basic relationship. 
  • sometimes neil hands him a bottle of water instead of throwing it at his face 
  • BUT 
  • he is always nice to Katelyn. that is without fail. 
  • and well 
  • andrew 
  • andrew is a bit more special 
  • “it’s always a yes with you”  

soft andreil because it’s v day & these boys own my heart, i’m sorry in advance?? now excuse me while i go put my andreil playlist on repeat 

  • So there are nights when Neil just watches Andrew sleep because he can’t fall asleep for whatever reason, and of course, there are always a thousand reasons. The stress of getting back into something as trivial as schoolwork after everything that’s happened, dealing with the new additions to the foxes who Neil sometimes feels were placed there just to torment him further, the PTSD and the bad dreams, that drumming fear in his chest & that odd twitch in his feet that still function on an old familiar instinct to run and just get the hell out.
  • On those nights looking at Andrew, asleep and undettered by his side is therapeutic, it reminds him that this, this, this is what he’s fought for all these years without even realizing it. This sense of stability, home, hearth.
  • Sometimes it collides with a warring sense of utter disbelief. There are times Neil still wakes up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat afraid out of his mind that he’ll be alone in some strange city somewhere, or trapped in Edgar Allan with nothing but Riko’s abuse for company or watching his mother’s corpse go up in flames at a beach. There are times Neil has to sit down and relearn breathing, times he has to remind himself that this isn’t some cruel dream. That he gets to keep this. No hallucinations. No sick games. Just this. The two of them. Together. 
  • Watching Andrew sleep always sends the haunting thoughts spiraling away, because all he can focus on is the loose set of Andrew’s jaw, the dim fluttering of his pale lashes that catch the moonlight like powdered sugar and the way his breaths come and go. 
  • How lucky he is, he thinks, to be the one to get to have Andrew like this, in the way nobody else gets to. He would never admit it to anyone, but sometimes, he feels almost smug about it.
  • But mostly, he feels grateful. Grateful for the kisses and the keys and the company, for the trust. He couldn’t imagine how difficult it must be for Andrew to let himself fall asleep next to someone else, to not yank out the knife everytime he feels Neil twist in his sleep or hears Neil’s breathing at his ear, to restrain his movements so that he doesn’t wake in a violent spasm and break one of Neil’s ribs in the process.  
  • Andrew’s an extremely light sleeper, so sometimes he thinks he knows Neil’s watching him, can probably trace his gaze blind, but he never says anything about it, never reprimands him over it. Neil’s just glad he doesn’t have to hear Andrew go “stop looking at me like that” with his eyes closed and feigning sleep. 
  • Neil can’t help but think how young and unimpeachable Andrew looks in his sleep. The way the light spills into his hair, how it frames him like a portrait that deserves to hang in an art museum somewhere. Sometimes, Neil thinks, Andrew tries so hard to appear baleful, that the people around him forget that he’s just a damaged kid, coping against all odds, in the only way he knows how. 
  • He really will be pummeling someone six ways to Sunday if they ever try to convince him Andrew’s a sociopath ever again.
  • Some nights, when neither of them can sleep, Andrew just silently gets up and grabs the keys for the Maserati before heading out the door, knowing Neil will follow. 
  • And they drive and they drive with no particular destination in mind. Sometimes they’ll talk. Most times they don’t. They just soak in the reassurance of the other’s presence like they might run out if they don’t keep acknowledging it. Usually, they don’t bother to turn on the radio. They both appreciate the silence. Sometimes Andrew will allow Neil to crack a window. They’ll enjoy the night breeze, the sound of the tires squelching smoothly against the asphalt, a weirdly calming percussion. 
  • Tonight, Neil’s feeling experimental. He flips on the radio and Andrew says nothing about it. Not an approval, but not a negative either. 
  • There is something torrentially exhilarating about driving as far away from Palmetto State University as possible then turning right back instead of skittering off into the unknown. He’s mapped these roads into the back of his hand, he knows them like he knows his own name. He knows he’ll always find his way back from here. Back home. 
  • The song on the radio intones what he’s feeling, the artist says we’re running on fumes but we’ll make it through the night.
  • Sometimes they’ll park the car on the edge of the highway and kiss each other until they can’t feel their mouths. Neil thinks Andrew is the only thing that keeps him grounded sometimes, that keeps him from having a virtual panic attack every ten minutes.
  • “You’re real,” Neil says, between kisses, it was meant to be a statement but it comes out as a question. “As real as you.” Andrew’ll reply. He knows how much Neil needs to hear that, even if it gets repetitive and annoying, he knows he needs to keep being reminded that he’s home now, and that he’s fractured & reeling & disturbed but that he’s okay
  • When they do eventually go back to sleep, Neil will wake up before Andrew just to run a finger through his hair or over the ridges of his cheeks as he sleeps so that he can memorize this touch, the feeling of this touch, burn it into his brain for when it gets bad again.