drive by shitting

Fitness blogger: *Does one bodybuilding competition*

Fitness blogger: *Reads one book on macro calculation*

Fitness blogger: *Has one year of lifting experience*

Fitness blogger: Yes, hi, I’m qualified to answer all of your questions. E-mail me about my online training and nutrition programs at ihave0experience@butmyassisnice.com and use my discount code IMFULLOFSHIT69 for 12.5% off of C4!!!!!

#don’ttrustpeoplewithoutqualifications2k17

  • Me, banging on Todd Howard's door: Todd. Todd answer me. Todd why is there jet in vault 95. Jet wasn't made by Myron until after the Great War. It's made from Brahmin dung. Todd please answer the door. This isn't just a case of randomized loot. The terminals and Cait all mention it. why is there jet in vault 95. Todd.

i still stand by the fact that the mcu owes me a high speed tony stark civilian car chase scene though. like. peter and tony are chill while tony’s driving. everything’s normal. then shit happens. bad guys are behind them

suddenly the windshield lights up exactly like the suit’s HUD and tony’s issuing commands to FRIDAY and a whole panel of James Bond-type buttons shows up on the dashboard and tony’s like “don’t touch that! this car is a prototype!” exactly two seconds before being like “you know what we’ll call this a test drive” *pushes button* *car exhaust spits out fire and/or repulsor rays*

@infinite-atmosphere LOOK WHAT YOU’VE STARTED NOW I WARNED YOU

Small pec worship drabble heavily inspired by this because wow hello can I nap on those please?




“Still working at this hour?”

“Gabe …” Jack sighed warningly as Gabriel appeared stealthily behind him – he pressed himself up against Jack’s back in a warm, insistent move that was evidently meant to distract entirely. Gabriel’s hips pushed forward to cradle against Jack’s ass, his broad torso flush against his back as he spooned up against him.  

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the power that directing two movies prior to your godzilla assignment instead of one gives you
  • <p> <b>Gareth Edwards:</b> We had a version of the screenplay that had a heroine in the film. But you’ve got to pick a hero and we ended up with a male, and then everything supports the hero in some way.<p/><b>Michael Dougherty:</b> Listen up, fuckers, the star of your new cinematic universe is now a teenage girl.<p/></p>

Me: *staring off into space, completely shocked, trying not to cry*
My friends: are u okay??
Me: *internally* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, THERE’S SO MUCH INFORMATION, I NEED TO ANALYZE EVERY FUCKING NEW SPOILER OF THE NEW SEASON, ALSO, WHERE IS THE FUCKING TRAILER??!! IS THE QUEEN SANA THE REAL MAIN CHARACTER?? WHO IS YOUSEF ACAR? IS HE GAY? IS EVERYBODY GAY NOW? IS HE WITH MIKAEL? IS HE MUSLIM? IS HE A SANA’S RELATIVE? DOES HE KNOW EVEN?
WHY ARE THE NEW FB PROFILES PRIVATE NOW? WHAT’S THE REAL MEANING OF THOSE BALLONS?!?!!?! WHY ARE HENRIK AND TARJEI FILMING ALONE?? IS JULIE ENJOYING WITH OUR AGONY? AM I GONNA CAN SLEEP EVER AGAIN? WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPENNIG?? I NEED ANSWEEEEEERS AAAHAAHHAHAHASKFDGUFUEGIAFEIOAEFW

Me: *taking a deep breath* Yeah

Sweep you off your feet

Originally posted by jengkook

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader
Genre: Fluff
Word Count: 1,061
A/N: Requested by my dearest Mong J


“I can’t believe you called me out to the arcade after weeks of being on tour.” You sniffed at your friend, Jungkook, as you approached where he was waiting by the entrance.    

“I thought you liked the arcade.” He easily pushed the door open with one hand, going through it first but holding it open until you were inside.    

“I do.” you said. “It’s just that…”    

It’s just that, in the years that the two of you had been friends, you eventually came to feel something more for him. And since you hid your feelings so well, it gave you hope that maybe under that platonic exterior, he felt the same way. So every time he went away for a long time, you’d cook up some romantic fantasy in your head wherein he’d sweep you off your feet… something like, surprise you with a limo, a dozen long-stemmed roses, and take you to a restaurant that he had reserved for the night. When you turned to him questioningly, he’d confess his love for you. He’d then take you in his arms and kiss you until you were breathless.

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