drinking my boyfriend's beer

Public Arguments Pack

(The following are arguments that were audible and or comments exchanged between people in various stores and restaurants.)

“Seriously? I can’t buy a ten cent pack of gum? Why you so cheap?”
“What do you mean you wont accept my hand made coupon?”
“Why do you always have to look at other men/women when I’m standing right here?”
“Do you think I’m a bad person if I secretly wanna parent other people’s bad tempered kids? Because I mean they literally just let them scream.”
“I’ve been drinking. No thinking. No wait what? I’m in love with drunk you. Fuck. I messed that up didn’t I?”
“Damn you cant drink four beers you’re meeting my mother today!”
“I’ve seen your boyfriend/girlfriend making out with another person in the same spot you’re sitting in.”
“Remember when I said I had an orgasm and you’re the best I ever had? I marked that special day on my calendar.”
“Bet you that girl/guy over there is knocked up.”
“Look I just don’t want to look like that loser who sits by themselves in a resteraunt so you willing to come with me or not?”
“Can you just tell me what the fuck you want for dinner and stop saying whatever you want and then tell me no?!”
“Damn this is too much, here stuff it in your bag.”
“Babe I’ve gone to three different stores can you just tell me what you want for Valentines day? Shit I’m sorry that I even forgot but I don’t know if they sell Vera Bradley night gowns in Wal-mart!!!”
“You’re like my lucky star. Because every time I get into trouble you’re there to bail me out.”
“Who the fuck wouldn’t want to sleep with me? I’m still sexy right?”
“Please tell me you didn’t just use the third toilet stall because I was here last week and there was hard core fucking going on in it.”
“If they ban cigarettes here then how the hell am I supposed to stay distressed?”
“You can get your nails done, your hair, order your glasses, shop, and buy food all in one place. Is this heaven for the poor?”
“I don’t wanna sound like a bitch but I am by far the prettiest one here.”
“Lets be Macklemore and go bargain hunting for some good shit.”
“Is it illegal to park sideways?”
“Can you openly call someone a dick?”
“I’ve had ten glasses of wine and I ain’t even drunk yet and I have to tell my parents about some heavy shit. You got anything that will get me totally shit faced?”
“You cant take other peoples kids (insert muse’s name), they aren’t like puppies. Its illegal and kidnapping.”
“Fuck the crazy cat lady how come the crazy lizard lady never gets any love?”
“I’m about to literally put on my own concert. I’m gonna put those headphones on and use this hair brush and just rap the fuck out of the cusiest singles. Time me until I get kicked out or banned.”
“Do you think they’d notice if I lived in the ball pit?”
“I remember those! I used to love going in indoor playgrounds. What? No I wasn’t a certain age when I stopped, I stopped until my big ass couldn’t fit through the tube thing anymore.”
“You’re being too loud. I SAID YOU’RE BEING TOO LOUD!”
“Shit I’m short on change. Show the cashier your boobs.”
“How the fuck are we supposed to know which toilet paper is the softest if we can’t even feel them. They should have sample swatches because I don’t trust those animated bears on the package. Plus bears have fur on their asses and don’t even use toilet paper!”
“I need you to try on those clothes, I’ll take a picture of you from the chin down so your face doesn’t show and then I’m gonna send it to this guy I’m talking to.”
“I’m so sick of lines. They should have an express lane for people who like to hurry it the fuck up and get in and out!”
“Lets go into that store and pose real still and pretend to be movie posters. We’re already in our cosplay outfits so why not?”
“I just asked that guy if you wanted his number. I’m totally going to catfish my enemy and make her feel like shit the way she made me feel like shit.”
“Why are wigs so expensive? I bet you the people who wore the white wigs who were judges didn’t have to worry about prices like these.”
“Stop making it your mission to swim in every fountain and reenact the jaws opening scene where the woman acts like shes in pain and dying.”
“Life sized stuffed animals creep me out. Like just buy the real thing.”
“Lets have a race from this end of the store down to the other side. People are obstacles you gotta dodge. You gotta start over if you knock into the middle things.”
“Lets get a big pile of clothes and go into the changing rooms and make a big ass bed and just take a nap.”
“Stop squeezing my butt. I let you into the dressing room to tell me your opinion not grope me.”
“Sir/Miss please stop reaching your hand under my side of the dressing room. You’re in a place to get changed. Not the bathroom.”

anonymous asked:

I know this is more of a touchy subject but what kind of advice would you give someone who wants to marry young?do you ever want to get married again?and what did you learn from it?

Young or old, I think it is important to talk about what you want in the future with anyone you are becoming seriously involved with, even if you aren’t thinking about marriage with them anytime soon. That is one of the biggest mistakes I made with my ex-husband, we never had a legitimate conversation about what we wanted in life prior to marriage and it caused a lot of problems in our marriage because he wasn’t willing to compromise and I ended up sacrificing everything and everyone that was important to me in order to be with him because he acted like the things I wanted were feasible ideas but the longer I stayed with him, the more I realized that was the problem, to him they were just ideas and he had no interest in pursuing a life that we both would want. He was honestly the most selfish person I have ever been with and I am glad he is no longer part of my life at all because he did nothing but set me back in my dreams and desires.

Some people may think it’s a little “crazy” to talk about marriage or children early on in a relationship but wouldn’t you rather know whether or not you want the same things or would be happy with the life you would lead together in the beginning rather than years later when everything is falling apart in the end?

In my marriage, where I would like to live and how I would like to raise a family was a big issue that I wish we would have talked about before getting married because if I had been more clear in my head at the time, I would also have not married him for these two reasons but I could write a whole novel on why I shouldn’t have married him:

1) Where you would like to live. I was born in Virginia, raised in Minnesota, am from Arizona, but was living in Florida when I was married. I have spent most of my life traveling the U.S. with my family, friends, or by myself. I have been to a lot of cities and I know in my heart that I belong somewhere that has all four seasons because I am not at all a summer person and prefer to be somewhere that is fall or winter most of the year.

My ex-husband was born in New Mexico, lived in Georgia, was raised and lived in Florida but he had no intentions of ever leaving his small town. I am not a small town kind of gal and I especially am not a country folk but that’s where we lived when we were married and he was happy there while I was miserable. I didn’t want to live in the city but I did want to live somewhere that I felt at home in and I always felt out of place in Saint Cloud. People would give me dirty glances or just stare because I was alternative and 3 out 4 times when I met a random stranger there, they would always look at me and say “You’re not from around here.” I never had so many people judge me based off of my appearance before and I just so badly wanted to return to Phoenix or move somewhere new that had more open-minded people residing there. If you’ve been to Saint Clould, you have probably noticed it was just filled with white trash. My ex-husband had zero desire to travel, explore, or go on adventures and those type of things are what I live for. There’s so many new places to see, new things to experience, and new strangers to meet that I couldn’t stand to be confined to a small town with nothing to quench my thirst for wander. 

My current boyfriend and I have been together for a few months less than a year but we have already discussed where we would like to live in the next few years when he finishes school and I make my small business more solid. He was born and raised in Arizona but has traveled around the U.S. as well, we have gone on a handful of crazy and romantic roadtrips together and he yearns to see the world as much as I do. I love it. He has no plans to remain in Arizona after he graduates and I am only saying here for the next few years to help support him while he finishes school, then we plan to move somewhere new together when the time is right. I prefer the cold and mind the heat, he doesn’t have a preference in weather but doesn’t mind the heat so we have compromised to live somewhere that has all four seasons but isn’t snowing until “spring." 

When I was with my ex-husband, I would always suggest going somewhere new and he would always turn down the idea because he was someone who enjoyed staying in his comfort zone. With my current boyfriend, I don’t even have to ask him to take me somewhere new, he just surprises me with spontaneous trips out of state or places to visit in Arizona.

2) Having children and being a family. How you would like to raise them, where you would like to raise them, how many you would like to have, and when you would like to have them.

This is all important because there is a huge difference between having 1 and 2 kids, 2 and 3 kids, and 3 and 4 kids. The differences are financial - the more children you have, the more money you need to have to raise them, physical - the more children you have, the more it can take a toll on the mothers body, mental - the more children, the more stress etc. When you would like to start having children is also important but varies from person to person, for example: my boyfriend is nine years older than me but even though neither one of us want to have children before we are married but the idea of having children is sooner in his head than in my head, I am in my early 20’s and want to enjoy my youth and freedom as long as I can but he’s almost completely done with his 20’s and always imagined having children by the time he was 30. We may end up having children in his early 30’s and my early 20’s but because we both are excited to be parents, that is something we don’t mind compromising about.

My ex-husband explicitly explained he wanted his kids to start smoking weed with him when they were 14 years old, spend all of their free time skateboarding and playing video games with him and I found that outrageously irresponsible. I don’t want my children to become sidetracked about their education because their father was more focused on having kids to hang out with because he doesn’t have any friends of his own and ruined their future because he already ruined his own. My current boyfriend and I were raised pretty similarly and education is extremely important to the both of us. We want our children to have fun and enjoy themselves but we want there to be structure in their lives as well and to keep busy with things that helps build merit. When I was about eight or nine, my mother started teaching me how to sew and crochet during my free time at home. I no longer crochet but I enjoyed sewing and that skill has obviously carried into my adult life considering I now make my living by being a seamstress.

I had many other interests among just sewing and all of those have helped me develop and grow as a somewhat respectable human being to others who is sociable in a variety of settings. I am still a little awkward but my ex-husband closed up around strangers and always had trouble socializing with people and making new friends because his mother allowed him to spend his whole childhood and adult life doing nothing but sitting in his bedroom and playing video games by himself. He had no idea how to interact with other human beings and my family + friends couldn’t stand him but they were all extremely welcoming but he never made any effort to get to know them because he would rather spend all of his time playing video games with a machine than being around actual living human beings and that is exactly what he did. My current boyfriend is the most outgoing person I know, he can start a conversation and carry one with anyone he meets and both my family + friends adore him. He was the first man I’ve brought home that my father has ever shared a beer with and that says a lot because he usually just dismisses the boys I bring home because he didn’t deem them worthy enough for me, he never disrespected them but just didn’t respect them. I am my parents eldest daughter and after witnessing the emotional and physical pain my ex-husband put me through, they were terrified to see me get into a serious relationship with someone else. Just how every straight woman wants to be with a man who protects and cares for their children, every parent wants their (straight) daughter to be with a man who protects and cares for their child. My parents always look forward to us visiting them and having dinner together because it’s always a good time. My dad and my boyfriend can kick back, drink beers, laugh and hang out all night and that’s what most fathers want in a son-in-law, someone you trust enough to treat like family. 

Yes, I would get remarried. My first marriage didn’t turn me off to marriage, it was a great learning experience and I am glad that I had a failed marriage because it helped me understand what I should actually look for in a future long term partner. My family and friends consider my first marriage a practice round because well, they hate the idea that I was ever committed to someone like him. My parents don’t acknowledge that he was ever a part of my life though.

I’ve learned a lot of things but I want to share things I’ve learned about leaving someone:

  1. ”Respect yourself enough to walk away from anything that no longer serves you, grows you, or makes you happy.“
  2. There is a difference between walking away and giving up on someone.
  3. It doesn’t matter if when things are good, they are really good but when they are bad, they are really bad, which is something I’ve noticed a lot of people in dysfunctional relationships say. No matter how bad things are they should never get that bad. 
  4. You are not obligated to stay with someone just because you’re afraid to hurt them. If they’ve hurt you or broken your heart, don’t be afraid to leave them. It can’t hurt them nearly as a bad as they’ve already hurt you.
  5. No one can save you or make you happy, everything you need is within yourself. Make yourself happy before you try to make someone else happy. If you are dependent on someone else to be happy and make them your home, you’ll be left homeless and feel empty when and if they leave you. If you are your own reason to smile, you will find reasons to smile even when they stop being a reason.
  6. When you’re young, you still have a lot of growing to do. The things you both want in life might take you down different paths one day and even if you’re hopelessly in love, the future might pull you apart eventually. There’s no need to rush into marriage or to get married young because if you truly love each other, you will still love each other years from then so if what you both still want is to get married, get married when you’ve spent years of being together and at least two years living together (in my opinion).
  7. Just because one aspect about him is different from all of the other guys you’ve met, it doesn’t mean he’s any better. From my experience, he might turn out to be the worst.
  8. Don’t stay with someone because you are afraid of being alone. If anything, leave someone because you are afraid of being alone. No one deserves to be with someone who only stays around because they feel like they can’t live without them no matter what, everyone deserves to be with someone who can live without them but chooses not to. Find solitude and then find love.
  9. Be with someone who would always do for you what you would do for them. You should never feel like you are the one who cares more, relationships are about equality. You should always feel like they care as much as you do and would do as much for you that you would do for them. Stay away from people who only take and take from you but never give, be with someone who is selfless and would give you anything to be your everything because they know you would (and are) doing the same.
  10. Easiest way to know if you should leave is if you spend more time being unhappy than happy with them.
Slow Motion- A Nate Maloley Imagine (Requested)


My boyfriend Nate and I sat in our kitchen, drinking beers and listening to music waiting for our uber to pick us up to go out.

“I’m getting another beer, want one?” I asked as I walked to the fridge.

“Y/N this is your third beer in less than an hour, you are literally a tank.” Nate laughed, shaking his head.

“It’s an accomplishment.” I joked as I opened the bottle. As I stood by the sink, I glanced over at my boyfriend who was seriously irresistible. I never got sick of looking at him or being with him, each day was amazing. Plus right now, he was looking extra sexy with the khakis he was wearing that were a little too tight. I couldn’t help but think how I wanted to get him all riled up.

As I contemplated on what to do to him, the light bulb in my head went off when Slow Motion by Trey Songz came on. I took a few big sips of my beer, as I heard Nate singing “Baby, I just wanna get you out them clothes, I just wanna see you dance in slow motion.”

I licked my lips as I walked to the chair he was sitting at, I turned it away from the table so I could stand right in front of him.

Once I had his attention, I took a step back and started dancing seductively in front of him. Nate bit his lip as he eyed my body, which looked amazing tonight in the dress that I was wearing which showed off all my curves.

I swayed my hips and made eye contact with Nate, making it even more intense. Next, I pulled down the straps of my dress, ever so slowly. I could hear Nate groaning, he wanted the dress to be on the floor.

I kept dancing, literally in slow motion as my dress eventually fell to the floor leaving me in my bra and underwear. Nate’s pants were getting even tighter as I was getting even wetter. Who knew I would be so turned on by this.

I walked closer to Nate, and turned around grinding against him. His hands immediately gripped my waist as I threw my head back on his shoulder. Feeling him against me felt so good, I loved knowing how much he needed me.

I stood back up, and walked away from Nate, swaying my hips in the process. As I had my back to him, I unclasped my bra. However, I continued to dance with my back turned, I wanted him to use his imagination.

Just as I got into it, there was beeping from outside, our uber. Like clockwork, the song changed. Nate and I both groaned.

I quickly got dressed as Nate tried to hide his evident boner.

“Fuck look what you did.” Nate groaned.

“I’ll take care of you in the uber.” I smirked.

“Damn, how’d I get so lucky with a secretly freaky girl?” Nate asked as he squeezed my ass.

“Well I’m lucky that I have a guy who makes me want to do freaky things.” I said as we left the house and headed to the uber.

As I slid in the backseat, Nate whispered in my ear. “Oh darling, I just wanna get you out them clothes. I just wanna see you dance in slow motion.”