drill peck

You Know The Drill [a Barry Allen AU]

Request: in conclusion: evil! Barry with cute/sweet wife and the gang is confused as to how the reader dares to be married to Barry. Gang wants to ask the reader questions about it but can’t because Barry is always around. (It’s okay I was confused too)

a/n: sorry ‘bout that my love;  silly jules…

Ever since Cisco discovered who your husband is, he’s been trying to squeeze information out of you. Caitlin even went into immense trouble to do her research on you. Y/N Allen. Married to Barry Allen. Aka The Flash, notorious supervillain. The team can’t believe it. You are so sweet; how can you be with someone so evil?

You can’t help but sigh when Caitlin asks you that question. Twisting the diamond ring on your finger, you chew on your bottom lip, spinning in the office chair. “He’s… different around me. Loveable. Adorable.” you sigh happily, toying with the hem of your icy blue off-the-shoulder blouse; she grins sadly. “Kissabl-”

“Okay, okay, we get it, a lot of ‘able’s!” Cisco interrupts, waving his tan hands in front of him, face scrunched in disgust, pale yellow long sleeve shifting under the black ‘nerd out’ t-shirt. Leave it to Cisco to disrupt the cute moment… “Can you,” he coughs into his fist, “Give us some, you know, tips to stop him?” he tries to persuade you.

Caitlin shakes her head, playing with her clear crystal necklace, brown doe eyes staring at the engineer. “No… We can’t ask you to rat out your own husband!” she retorts helplessly. You send her a thankful glance, blue heels tapping on the floor. “But… do you know how fast he can go? Hypothetically, of course.” she asks bashfully, tan pencil skirt leaning on the desk.

Rolling your eyes, you throw your hands up in the air, chuckling silently. How did you know she would ask something like that? “Guys! For the last time, I’m not answering any questions about Barry. End. Of. Story!” you say, voice stern as you lock eyes with the two scientists. They both deflate at your comment.

“You’re such a damn good wife.” Barry appears, wolf-whistling, black henley hugging his torso perfectly. “I knew I married you for a reason…” he smirks, picking you up in his arms like a ragdoll; you wrap your arms around his neck. You know the drill. He pecks your cheek, “Sorry, but I need you, babydoll.”

As expected, Cisco makes an attempt to grab something; perhaps a gun. Caitlin jumps, eyes blown wide at the speedster. “Love to stay and chat, but, you know what they say, gotta run…” he hums, twirling on the base of his navy Vans. “Oh, and one more thing, stop asking my wife questions. Got me?”

Before they can even respond, Barry flashes away with you in his arms. “Arg! Come on!” Cisco shouts in frustration. “Figures. We have one source, but can’t even utilize them!” Caitlin just shakes her head.

If Batb Staff used Pokemon Moves (not including Belle)

Adam (Beast) - Fighting type: Brick Break, Bulk Up, Close Combat, and Drain Punch.

Lumiere - Fire type: Flamethrower, Will - O - Wisp, Charm, and Fiery Dance.

Cogsworth - Steel type: Gear Grind, Gear Up, Iron Head, and Roar of Time. (JUST BECAUSE I CAN)

Mrs. Potts - Water Type: Scald, Aqua Jet, Brine, and Rain Dance.

Plumette - Flying Type: Fly, Brave Bird, Drill Peck, and Feather Dance.

Garderobe: Fairy Type: Disarming Voice, Dazzling Gleam, Fairywind, and Floral Healing.

Cadenza - Psysic type (because I couldn’t think of any other type that fits him): Magic Room, Psybeam, Psycic, and Extrasensory.

Chapau - Grass Type: Leaf Blade, Sweet scent, Magical Leaf, and Wood Hammer.

I can’t do chip because he has to be fully evolved to have strong moves…


We found Cyrus and challenged him. I decided to use Violin and Trombone this time, since the two of them have good offense but are also bulkier than my other pairs.

I led with Trombone against Cyrus’s Sneasel. It struck first with ice punch, hitting Trombone for 30% of her hp. But Trombone was able to OHKO Sneasel with brick break.

Then Cyrus sent out his ace, Honchkrow, so it was Violin’s turn. Honchkrow was faster, hitting Violin for 40% of his health with drill peck. Violin hit Honchkrow for 80% of its hp with ice beam, but it ate its sitrus berry and went back to half health. Honchkrow hit with another drill peck, leaving Violin with only a bit of hp left. But Violin was able to finish Honchkrow off with another ice beam.

Cyrus’s last Pokemon was Crobat. I left Violin out and healed him right away. Crobat only used bite, so it was almost like getting a free turn to heal. Crobat then used supersonic, but Violin was holding a lum berry so he was fine. He hit Crobat for 70% of its hp with ice beam. Crobat struck back by poisoning Violin with poison fang, but Violin was able to finish Crobat off with his next ice beam anyway, defeating Cyrus.

Great job Violin and Trombone! You both may be slow, but you sure can take all the hits the world gives you :)

Drilled Into My Heart - Chapter 1

Andy McNally was a ballsy drunk. Evenings where Andy overindulged had a propensity to end up feeling like an episode of The McNally Show. Normally Gail was able to limit her annoyance level to mild irritation by steering clear of Andy as much as possible while still hanging with their shared friends. The night of the bet, however, Gail ended up with a big part to play in The McNally Show.

Keep reading

You only live once

The other night was the first session for our group. We played a vaguely FATE-based game in a Pokémon setting after a long series of unfortunate events that kept postponing it. The system gives the players more control over the world and plot than most others, which has taught me never to plan more than ten minutes ahead. Players, without exception, always manage to derail the plot in thorough and unforeseeable ways. This session really drove the message home.

Stay tuned to find out how the simplest, most barebones and mundane “quest” managed to devolve into a Grand Theft Auto-style homicidal spree and police chase for unknown reasons.

The people of interest in this tale are Honza, a male barber, and Raggy, self-described “crazy rat lady”, a homeless woman obsessed with Rattatas. The first scene of the game and also their first quest involved saving a poor trainer getting mugged south of Viridian. Instead of facing the problem directly, the players decided to leave their most valuable possessions, their Pokémon, behind, and to approach the scene “stealthily”.

One of the muggers had a Rattata with him, which Raggy decided to surprise adopt. This led to Raggy being chased down by an Ekans while someone else’s Pokémon was biting down on her arms to escape. This kept going all the way into the city, until Raggy couldn’t take any more bites and dropped the Rattata. The police were alerted to the scene south.

Meanwhile Honza decided to jump into the fray empty-handed to “save” the victim and their stuff. This ended up being a crazy wrestling match between Honza, the victim, and the two muggers, the result of which was an unconscious victim. Having agitated the aggressors thoroughly, Honza spontaneously decided to stop trying and to stay perfectly still, playing “cute and innocent” in order to prevent being murdered.

This actually worked, which unfortunately made the muggers attracted to the barber’s… “charms”. Honza convinced the muggers that rape was bad, and then tried pleading with them to leave the victim’s stuff behind, which failed. Doing absolutely nothing to prevent them, he let the muggers run away. Eventually the police arrive and run after the muggers.

Raggy, patching herself up, was getting jealous she didn’t have much to do, so she set out back to the crime scene with her Rattata so that it could meet its “new friend”. By the time she’d arrived there, an ambulance had been called to help the characters and the fainted NPC.

Realising the Rattata of her desires had left with the muggers, Raggy proceeds to have a psychotic break and attack the paramedics. The intended effect was to sedate and lock Raggy up in a psychiatric ward, seeing as she was incapable of functioning in a polite society.

Instead, a series of crazy rolls left Raggy locked up the back of the ambulance with the fainted NPC after tackling a paramedic really hard and breaking his ribs, with her Rattata on the drivers’ seat, having tried attacking the driver but had instead fainted by getting choked. The driver, remaining paramedic, and a Chansey that had been kicked out of the ambulance were trying to open the locked back door, eventually opting for leaving the matter to the police reinforcements.

By this point, Honza had become exasperated with this insanity and had understandably run away from the danger. The police surrounded the ambulance with Growlithes, as Raggy used the unconscious body of the NPC they were supposed to help as a human shield. Half a dozen insane rolls and a fire extinguisher later, Raggy was in the driver’s seat and was driving like crazy towards Pallet Town.

Now, the problem is that Pallet is on the southern tip of a peninsula, so one can’t run too far away. Reaching the sea, Raggy changes direction towards the Cycling Road on the east, dodging the trees and hills and other dangers of driving off road in a stolen ambulance with a bunch more insanely high driving rolls. Unfortunately the driving rolls weren’t as good on the actual road, so she ended up running over and murdering a few cyclists with her ambulance.

The situation having become Grand Theft Auto, I decided I couldn’t take much longer of this mess and dispatched Blue into the scene to take care of the psychopathic murderer terrorising the peace-loving people of Kanto. Raggy had to stop at the post at the end of the Cycling Road, separating it from Fuschia.

A guard stopped Raggy, which I thought was a good thing, because it would allow Blue and the police time to catch up with the raving lunatic and end the session. What happened instead was that Raggy paralyzed the guard’s Doduo by smacking its two heads together, while her Rattata was revived and mutilated the guard’s genitals in a grotesque manner.

Fortunately this mess had given the Fuschia police time to camp outside the post and prevent Raggy’s passing. Raggy barricaded herself inside the building and headed for the top floor, and by that time Blue had arrived with a Fearow and entered the building.

The idea was for Blue to use his Alakazam to put Raggy to sleep and hand her over to the police, which ought to be trivial given the difference in skill between the two trainers. Instead, Raggy once again let go of all rationality, and attempted to punch Blue before he could use his Poké Balls, rolling insanely high for both accuracy and power.

Thankfully this madness ended promptly with Fearow perceiving a threat towards its trainer, and drill pecking two holes in Raggy’s abdomen, at which point she bled to death. Meanwhile Honza was in the police department getting debriefed.

So there you have it, folks. In first session of the game, we had attempted murders, attempted rapes, a successful killing spree, and one dead player, all before completing even the first quest. I’ve been promised no one will play a “crazy rat lady” in the future.