dril one

SnK characters as wolfpupy tweets
  • Eren: if anyone tries to tell you your dreams are unachievable just remember i have crashed my dirt bike into all 7 wonders of the world
  • Mikasa: i've seen a lot of things in my time, which i blame on me leaving my eyes open. things got a lot better once i decided to just close them
  • Armin: being thinking about a lot of things lately and have decided thoughts are a waste of time
  • Levi: before anyone says anything i just want to leave so i am not around to hear it
  • Erwin: i'm not going to claim that i know everything, i am simply going to act like it
  • Hange: if i was the one who drove the titanic i bet i could have hit at least 3 ice bergs before it sank
  • Jean: if anyone can do it then someone who isn't me can do it
  • Connie: November 31st, or Halloween 2 as it was known, was removed from the calendar after i used time travel to abuse the trick or treat system
  • Sasha: people need to wake up and start going to sleep, sleep has been proven to be a far better alternative to awake
  • Reiner: to truly understand something you must first not understand it, then later understand it
  • Bertholdt: "just when i thought things couldn't get worse" that was your first mistake, things always get worse regardless of thinking
  • Annie: is there something that is a step up from a rhetorical question where i don't want any response at all
  • Ymir: your definition of a good idea may be different from my definition of a good idea, mine being that a good idea is any idea i think of
  • Historia: i don't care one way or the other way, no matter what way i don't care

I feel like that one Dril tweet that everyone uses: “I will face God and walk backwards into Hell.” I feel like that’s going to end up like a lot of pretty famous quotes.
Because you have: “Curiosity killed the cat…” And I lot of people jut use that one piece of quote, but then: “…Satisfaction brought it back.” is the secondary part to that.
So like can you imagine some kid in the future using it and being like, huh I wonder where that original saying came from?, and they look it up and it’s just:
“IF THE ZOO BANS ME FOR HOLLERING AT THE ANIMALS I WILL FACE GOD AND WALK BACKWARDS INTO HELL.” And the kid is just like ??????, and I like to imagine that a lot.

Pop Quiz: @Dril or Patrick Bateman?

How to play: read the quotes below, and figure out which ones are from Twitter sensation @Dril (A) and which ones come from the controversial, now inexplicably-high-lit novel/approximately eight hours of my life I will never get back American Psycho by Bret Easton Ellis (B). To make it less obvious, I’ve corrected Dril’s grammar, punctuation and spelling. Good luck, and no cheating!

1).“I just looked up the stats, and the number of meaningful relationships I’ve formed is less than the number of public restrooms I’ve screamed in.”
2). “I grab him by the neck and croak out, my breath reeking, ‘The best engine is in the BMW 750iL,’”
3).“How about we worry about human rights … after we’ve fixed all the human wrongs?”
4).“I’m beginning to despise my friends and loved ones for pushing valuable branded content off of my feed as I struggle to comprehend this world.”
5).“The Patty Winters Show this morning was about a new sport called Dwarf Tossing.”
6).“The Grinch wants a car stereo anyway.”
7)."My entire face turns purple as I try to enjoy my cup of Monday coffee, while all my coworkers rush into my office to watch me fail once again.”
8). “All young men must be fitted for a good Italian suit, ideally by age 4. I will not fucking apologize or back down from this.”
9). “I’m still way fuckin’ muscled, despite the economy, despite life.”
10).“There are four antlers on my fucking head. I mutter, 'Oh Jesus, whoa!’ and tear them off.“
11)."I’m fresh. The freshest, y’know … like, uh, def … the deffest.”
12)."I will tell you this right now: I’m from hell. I’m highly fucked up. I’ve been known to say rude things and watch the carnage unfold brutally.”
13).“There’s no use in denying it: this has been a bad week. I’ve started drinking my own urine.”
14). “I’m an exhausting person to be around, but once you get to know me, I’m actually a giant shithead with an irredeemable mouth.”

ANSWER KEY: 1: A; 2: B; 3: A; 4: A; 5: B; 6: B; 7: A; 8: A; 9: A; 10: B; 11: B; 12: A; 13: B; 14: A.

gravity falls characters as dril tweets round one
  • dipper: just read something fucked up... Not a single picture of stonehenge exists.
  • dip again: my greatest sin is that I've utterly betrayed my "NO FEAR" tower decal by being embarrassingly frightened of birds and butter flies
  • mabel: 1989: the fall of the berlin wall is celebrated, historically revered 2016: i tear down the sneeze guard at old country buffet and get Booed
  • stan: “oh nothin, i was just buying some ear medication for my sick uncle… *LOWERS SHADES TO LOOK YOU DEAD IN THE EYE* who’s a Model by the way,
  • stan again: if you're wondering if im some other guy, the answer is yes, im him, unless it's bad to be him, then im not him, im a different person.
  • ford: Welcome to the citadel of eternal wisdom. Beyond, this crystal contains the sum of all human knowledge — Except Rap And Country
  • ford again: some times.. the smartest people you know, are Geniuses
  • fiddleford: at first i thought Science was a shit waste of time. then somebody did a meme of it,. and now... hooboy.. now i like it
  • soos: its fucked up how there are like 1000 christmas songs but only 1 song aboutr the boys being back in town
  • soos again: (steps out onto the podium for the annual delivery of his Most Hated "State of the Arbys" address) the state of the Arby's... is strong…
  • wendy: i just want to find the optimal bra for sniper operations, but everyeone here is so rude, and pieces of shit
  • robbie: see this watch? i got it by Crying. my car? Crying. my beautiful wife? Crying. now get the fuck out of my office.
  • gideon: i put years of hard work into getting my torture degree at torture college & now everyones like "oh tortures bad","its ineffective" fuck off
  • pacifica: blocked. blocked. youre all blocked. none of you are free of sin
  • paz again: THERAPIST: your problem is, that youre perfect, and everyone is jealous of your good posts, and that makes you rightfully upset. ME: I agree
  • quentin trembley: i spend a lot of time reading the constatution of the united states of america while grinning ear to ear
  • bill: LISTEN UP NERD, THE WEIGHTS WITH HIEROGLYPHICS ON THEM ARE IMPOSSIBLE TO LIFE UNLESS YOU POSSESS THE CORRESPONDING RUNESTONE, THIS IS HELL GYM
  • bill again: ((SPILLING BLOOD ALL OVER KEYBOARD) THIS IS WHAT U WANT. THIS IS WHAT U FUCKING BASTARDS WANT RIGHT (1 WEEK LATER) WHY ARE THE KEYS STICKING