dresses.ie

Ohmygod. Apparently there’s a push for female versions of the green walk signal (IE: a dress version) in Melbourne and it’s being lauded as feminism at work. What an utter waste of time and energy. So as opposed to doing anything remotely useful or productive, libfems would rather press for ‘equality’ through walk signals. I’m so angry. 

can we talk about

so I was thinking about the lions last night, the equivalent of sentient spaceships.  There’s a lot of talk about ‘feeling what your lion feels’ and Hunk even uses the phrase ‘my lion feels scared’, which, granted, is probably just him but the point is ‘feels’ equates ‘emotion’ so its not just sensory input.  The lions could be very advanced AIs.  But -

let’s talk about the Myzax robeast.  The giant hulking mechanical monster that we watched Haggar transfer a being’s consciousness into.  A very obvious machine, with a living creature’s soul inside.

Just like the lions.

One of the things that makes me livid about genderists they would call my grandmother, an Auschwitz survivor, a literal neo-Nazi because she doesn’t want male in women’s private spaces ie dressing rooms, bathrooms and locker rooms. She would be called a terf though she predated 2nd wave feminism by 4 or 5 decades because she knew males in “women’s” clothes, make up and long hair are still male. Keep in mind she was alive in Weimar Germany, those were some pretty freaky times. Calling someone a Nazi for basic biology knowledge who actually survived Nazis is reprehensible and demonstrates the crux of how they operate bully and whine. Tell everyone how hard things are for you and if they don’t capitulate then call them an epithet associated with some of the most reviled humans in history to discredit those who question and dissent.

kagomes-lover  asked:

Healthy!Ciel/Kag headcanons? They don't /have/ to be romance-related :3c

:’) Healthy you say? In truth, Ciel was already bit of a dark character, but I’ll give this a try!

  • If there were anyone he’d prefer spending his time with, it’d be Kagome.
    • One of Ciel’s favorite pasttime was having teas with her,
    • or spending time with her in general.
  • Unlike Sebastian who sometimes often gives less than appealing suggestions/involving Ciel in a situation without his inputs (ie. dressing up like a girl, involving Ciel as a circus member), Kagome is the one who gives sound suggestions and alternative routes to their current assignments.
    • Obviously, Ciel picked Kagome’s over his own butler’s ideas nearly every time.
    • Plus, he liked the hint of disappointment on Sebastian’s face.
  • Kagome tries of sway Ciel onto the path of righteousness, rather than the path of vengeance. 
    • There had been close calls where Ciel nearly gave in to Kagome’s words.
    • But Sebastian always pulled him back, reminding him of the contract.
      • This bothered Kagome–it wasn’t like she isn’t capable of breaking it, but she couldn’t do it without Ciel’s full consent.
  • Although Ciel feared spreading misfortunate onto Kagome, he was surprised by her rigidness.
    • Kagome was used to attracting disasters and tragedies, that she didn’t bat an eye to what may follow.
      • But, she really didn’t want another tragedy, not with this boy.
  • When brainstorming next product, Kagome is the go-to person for Ciel’s ideas.
    • She even sketch out designs for him too, not caring for credits or whatnot.
      • But Ciel always makes sure that Kagome get her dues.
  • Sometimes he wondered what it would be like to have her as his fiancee instead.
    • Kagome would make for an exceptional wife.

Feel free to request anything!

Originally posted by kaworubunga-surfs-up-shinji-kun

Headcanon No. 143

Kaoru gets cold more easily than Hikaru.  That’s why whenever the twins aren’t dressed identically (ie not in their uniforms or host club costumes), Kaoru is dressed more warmly than his brother.  In the wintertime, Kaoru prefers staying inside by the fireplace with a mug of cocoa while Hikaru tends to want to go outside and play in the snow.

6

There was one ages ago about gal vs. ulzzang. I think now it should be updated for gal vs. larme magazine type (larme kei) makeup. 

(R)Gal(ageha magazine)makeup 2015 (usually entails):

  • Strong contouring/highlighting
  • Circle lens
  • Groomed brows (angled or straight , thick or thin, depending on style)
  • Flashy bottom lashes as well as strong top lashes (There is more black used either with eyeliner and with the lash colour)
  • Hair is styled and groomed to a T. Seriously, no fly-aways…how?

(L)Larmekei (Larme magazine)makeup 2015( usually entails):

  • Soft contouring and highlighting (the aim is to look somewhat natural still )
  • Circle lens (for big eye effects of course, usually they are more natural softer browns, hazels, etc but can vary)
  • Groomed brows, usually straight for added youthful effect (but be your own judge of that)
  • Natural bottom lashes, more browns and pinks used along lash line, maybe black on the upper lid but only to create the doe-eye effect.
  • Hair is made to look ‘naturally’ style. Fly-aways and imperfections are encouraged, still styled…but styled in the same way that ‘messy-hair’ styles are..aka..you still have to put a lot of work into styling it ;o;

To me, the swankiss girls represent a happy medium between both. I think it’s because of their stronger lashes and overall (clothes + hair) styling usually. They don’t do strong contouring, and their clothes tend to be more youthful/playful girly rather than sophisticated/classic girly. Which reminds me a lot of old popteen/popsister vibes. However, because the clothes tend to follow a theme (love letter concept had clothes with enevelopes w/ hearts for example) and you can tell they are going for a more artistic interpretation it crosses over into larme. 

Liz lisa items need more consideration. Not all their items fit into larme because they fit more into himekaji (ie..floral dress designs) and the current trends of larme don’t necessarily incorporate all of the current trends of the himekaji style. They overlap though.

These are just my thoughts…what are yours?

anonymous asked:

The boys favourite things to see Candy wearing? (ie dresses, shorts, lingerie -wink wink hint hint-)

Hello dear and thank you for the request! I hope you enjoy what I have for headcanons about what the boys like to see! Though be sure to know that you shouldn’t change to your own personal style to match that of someone you like or to please someone you like. If you have to change anything about yourself, it’s worth it.

Nathaniel

Nathaniel actually likes seeing Candy wear clothing that seems innocent; to him, innocent is sexy. This includes everything from school girl-like outfits to clothes that are modest that show only hints of skin. For example, shirt that covers her breasts and cleavage, but goes off her shoulders and exposes her neck and chest or a shirt that exposes just a small strip of skin on her skin. For some reason, Candy manages to turn even the most innocent thing into an absolute sin to wear. School girl outfits are, however, his absolute favorite and turn him on the most.

As for lingerie, he loves lingerie that’s a bit see-through but hides the important parts. Seeing her in it is almost sexier than just seeing her naked.

Castiel

It’s no surprise that Castiel likes as little clothing as possible. He likes to see skin. Shorts, short dresses/skirts, cutoff shirts, bandeau tops, he loved it all if skin was showing. He liked short skirts the most, however, because Candy usually pairs it with a cutoff shirt. The whole outfit is just a tease; something that Candy likes to flaunt in front of him and she knows exactly what she’s doing to him.

For lingerie, he loves anything that pushes her breasts up and together like a push-up bra. It’s enchanting to him to see her in a matching set of lingerie, especially if there is just a bit of lacy.

Lysander

Lysander loves seeing Candy in skirts and/or dresses that are elegant and sexy. To him, elegancy is the sexiest thing a girl can wear. Corset tops are also very sexy to him, but remind him of lingerie so much that he ends up becoming a blushing mess when he sees Candy wearing them.

Speaking of lingerie, Lysander prefers a bustier bra (due to its resemblance to corsets) or corsets themselves and sexy matching underwear and thigh-highs with garters.

Armin

Armin loves shorts. He likes to see Candy’s legs go on for miles and a loose tank top that shows peeks of her bra on the sides. He just loves it if she pairs it all with thigh-high socks. It’s a type of casual sexy that turns him on and he loves to admire. Sexy cosplay is something he is also very much into.

He loves mismatching lingerie. Something about it not matching seems casual and fun while still being sexy. He loves it even more when it’s a bra or underwear that’s not just a simple color; for example, he loves Candy’s pokemon ball bra and her Cookie Monster underwear.

Kentin

Kentin finds sundresses and cute clothing to be sexy. Sundresses do a good job at hinting at her curves while still being cute. They are also typically bright and fun, which he adores. Anything that has flowers, bows or anything else cute is also good to him.

For lingerie, he doesn’t really care. He likes seeing her in anything (or nothing). Though he really loves the ones that have tiny bows on the fronts or sides.

And while I’m here and talking about this;

Terfs will condemn trans women for “””conform””” to traditional gender roles and stereotypes (ie. wearing dresses, using makeup, shaving, etc ect), but then also condemn trans women who don’t “””conform””” to traditional gender roles.

Just say you hate trans women. Say you’re a transmisogynist asshole. You’re not fooling anybody here.

anonymous asked:

Must have spring pieces?

sure thing sorry it took me so long to get to this !! i responded to an overall trends ask for spring so you can look @ that for inspiration but i’ll link affordable pieces. 

neutral story: you’re gonna see a lot of long+ airy linens, cream/off-white, taupe. linen maxi + midi dresses + pants. knits knits knits.

denim story: denim is gonna be so huge this s/s especially bc of the whole 70’s thing coming back. w that being said you wanna do it in “different” ways or just other than jeans; ie. dresses jumpers overalls. as far as jeans go i rly think forever did a great boyfriend jean for a good price …….. trying to migrate any + all skinny jeans out of my wardrobe. i don’t really fuck w wide leg pants bc they look silly on my body type but these are also back in full swing // on trend for this year. with denim — play up with washes (white denim!!) + patchwork

camping trip/coach ss15/if you were into normcore this is your next move: surplus jackets, desert/army green color story, slouchy tailoring, stripes + relaxed basics. boiler suits, boxy crops, fisherman’s jackets, teva sandals, shorts w big pockets, all very utility all very structured w a slouch. lots of pockets and toggles.

sportswear: scuba knit, racer front crops, addidas track pants …..kinda same old same old just fresher designs still incorporating mesh tops, hi-shine fabrics, separates (intentionally matching top + bottom) 90’s styled tube dresses w high top sneakers.

70’s story: a-line minis, lots of corduroy. suede accented pieces, pattered wide leg trousers, platform clogs + studs, unitard trousers, lots of fringe, plunging v kneck lines, scarfs around the neck, jewel tones.

not all my styles for sure, but that’s what’s trending. for me i’m gonna be doing a lot of neautrals, knits + denims. shoes: mules, minimal sandals x + x and cutout booties.

BACK TO SCHOOL SHOPPING LIST

sorry i know i’m late and you’re all already back to school i suck i’m sorry!!! but it’s better late than never. am i right am i right? haha alright let’s get into it

ESSENTIALS 

  • jeans - ok jeans are like a life essential but having a nice pair goes a lot way because you can wear them literally all the time.. no one gives a fuck if you wear the same jeans everyday because everyone does it!!! i suggest a BDG pair and you all know i love them and they’re having a sale where they’re $39 right now!!!!!!! it’s a smokin’ deal i have a post about how much i love them and about the sale here. and if you’re like more into like name brand jeans for SUPER good quality and stability whatever i suggest paige jeans or rag & bone jeans!!!
  • basics - everything in the color, white, black, or grey. muscle tees, loose/fitted crop tops, henleys, halter tops, tank tops, oversized tees, whatever your little heart desires basic wise.. get it. it saves outfit lives because you can wear them 5.6 million different ways i am telling you
  • oversized tees/tops - k not only do you want them in basic colors you want them in like fun things too ok. i love the melrose swing tee from free people and urban has tons of oversized basic tops which i mention in my back to school vibes shopping cart post. i also love going to the mens section at buffalo exchange and picking out cool graphic tees that i can wear with cutoff shorts which brings me into the next bullet point
  • some cool graphic tees - i’m a fan of vintage band tees and harley davidson tees!! or just really funnny/stupid ones 
  • cut off denim shorts - they’re comfortable and easy to wear go with anything and i love the look it gives off when i wear an oversized tshirt and you can see like the frayed-ness of my shorts!!
  • rompers - they’re so easy.. you just put one on and your have your whole outfit. easy as that!! 
  • sensible pair of shoes - if you’re in college you’re gonna be hellllaaaa walking around!!! this all depends on you and your style be me personally a pair of high top white converse and a good pair of black ankle boots would do the trick because that is alllll i ever wear 
  • leggings/sweats - all about your preference!!! i like leggings better! perfect for the colder days of school because you can just slip on a pair with an oversized muscle tee and a flannel and some ankle boots and you look a little more ready rather than wearing sweats and a tshirt?? that’ what i think. and you’re still as comfortable as you would be wearing sweats
  • flannels - i like bringing flannels to class because classrooms are cold but it could be blazing hot outsized so you can always tie them around your waist when you get out! 
  • oversized cardigans - just to throw on and be cozy when going to class 
  • a few dresses - i never really dress up for school but sometimes it’s fun! i would just buy 2-3 dresses you really like to wear to school whenever you wanna dress up! 
  • jacket - if you go to college or a school where it has harsh cold weather like snow i would invest in a nice coat/jacket!!! i’m all about leather jackets. but peacoats are super cute too!!
  • bralettes - more like a life essential. i haven’t worn a padded bra in probably like idk like 8 months???? all about bralettes and urban and free people have perfect ones that are soooo comfy.
  • “going out clothes” - if you’re in college and wanna party/in a sorority or whatever i would get some dresses and skirts to go out in depending on how dressy the other girls dress when they go out!! and also get a good pair of heels that you can walk and last in!!!
  • a good purse - not sayin’ designer but a good sensible one you can throw all of your shit in!!! i’m not a backpack person which is why i’m saying purse haha.

NON ESSENTIALS 
this is gonna be a list of like personal style things that i think i need for school and more fashion forward than essential 

  • thigh high socks - my everything.. literally. they just take an outfit to the next level and keep your legs warm
  • sunglasses: if you’re going to college like wouldn’t you want to wear sunglasses while walking hella far to class? idk i would just get some cheap ones
  • workout clothes: for college kids who get to use the on campus gym!! but tbh i’m one of those people who wear cute workout clothes with nike frees just to wear it.. i just don’t go to the gym.. it just like looks like i did because i rolled out of bed.. and it’s super comfortable to shhhhh
  • hats - HATS ARE MY SHIT. i have to wear a hat like all the time. if you’re in high school this probably doesn’t apply to you?? at least when i went to school we weren’t allowed to wear hats. but wide brim hats… yes 
  • “other fashion forward items” - faux fur vest.. i’m so fucking about it would wear one everyday if i didn’t live in hell, jumpsuits, kimonos, belle bottoms, fun slip dresses (ie: free people “slip dresses” aka not really slip dresses but they’re super fun and cute), anything sheer,lace, leather or fringe 
Dress Codes

You guys realize dress codes are enforced to prepare students for a professional work environment right? Wearing revealing clothing isn’t appropriate for a professional work environment. It has nothing to do with “oppressing women”. And no, it doesn’t only target females. Males also have to follow a certain dress code (ie they can’t sag their pants or wear chains in most schools).

Shut the fuck up about dress codes being oppressive, because they’re not.

A very personal and perhaps unpopular opinion

So while the #reclaimthebindi movement is amazing because it’s bringing the focus of the bindi back to Indian people and away from coachella’s “top trends of 2015″, some of the attitude of the movement about the bindi being off-limits to certain people makes me feel uncomfortable for a few reasons, the first being that i am a syncretic worshipper who’s identified as Hindu for about 8 years now… And I actually had a phase where I was wearing bindis on a regular basis, but I ended up quitting that and wearing my bindi on the inside because I have really bad anxiety, so on top of being publicly harassed constantly as a young woman and as an alternative-looking human, I couldn’t handle the additional pressure of (99% white) people making assumptions about why I was wearing a bindi and aggressively attacking me about it (one Indian guy confronted me during the 6 month-1 year period I was daily wearing the bindi, and I explained why I was, and he seemed cool about it once I did).  This hatred was additionally confusing to me because I wasn’t wearing some crazy-bedazzled, aesthetically-pleasing bindi like you see in old Bollywood films, I usually wore just a small black circle, so I thought it would be clear that I was not making a fashion statement, but a personal one (though to be honest, i would have these spiritually-charged cosmic moments where i went all out).  One of the things that drew me to Hinduism was how inclusive the concept of us all coming from the same source is, so to be told that I wasn’t allowed to participate in one of the few spiritualities I identified with because I wasn’t Indian was conflicting for me… Especially considering that I loved Hinduism and Buddhism so much I spent 4 years studying them in college, and have probably read more of the Bhagavad-gita than I have read of the Bible (after being raised as a conflicted Christian for 18 years~ a natural response for a budding queer feminist).  But because I didn’t want to be mistaken for being disrespectful or accidentally offend anyone, I started hiding my entire spirituality away in my room, and eventually I even felt uncomfortable wearing the bindi in my own home, because enough people had questioned me that I was eaten alive by the anxiety of not being good or faithful enough to deserve to wear it, and I began questioning my own motives, even though I know they started pure.  (Do I partially want to wear the bindi because it is physically beautiful, and is it okay to feel that way?  I decided many years later: yes.)

Another thing that concerns me about the #reclaimthebindi movement is that people seem to be confusing cultural appropriation with racial appropriation.  Just because you are Indian or appear to be Indian does not automatically mean that you identify with, agree with, or understand Hinduism.  Just because you’re non-Indian or appear to be non-Indian doesn’t mean that you’re ignorant about Hinduism.  I’ve lived in 4 different states during my young adult life and I’ve meet a spectrum of different types of Indian people, both born in America and in India, some barely able to form an English sentence, others entirely fluent in English and unable to speak Hindi or write in Sanskrit, and everything in-between.  And within this group of people there are nonbelievers, loud and proud practitioners, private worshippers, “only on holidays when my parents make me” believers, Hare Krishnas, Christian Hindus, very Americanized kids who never identified with Hinduism growing up, people who label themselves as Hindu by default but don’t actively practice anything, and people who were born into Hinduism and grew into something else.  And there’s nothing wrong with any of those types of beliefs or practices.  And then there are people who grew up in a culture that was dominantly some other religion, and grew up to realize that they identify with Hinduism more, such as myself, and I honestly think that’s okay too!  And because of that, I don’t think that your skin color should be an automatic marker as to what cultures, practices, and forms of worship you identify with the most.  I believe in respecting other cultures, but I (*unpopular opinion alert*) don’t believe in cultural appropriation because culture is constantly transforming and being recreated and passed along through cultural sharing and borrowing.  Every culture borrows from others, and we are all influenced by the world around us.  And the fact that we all influence and exist in each other is a very Hindu concept.  (Disclaimer: I do believe in cultural appropriation when a marginalized culture’s symbols/dress are used by an oppressing culture to make a profit, ie: UO selling both headdresses and a Christian directive; and I do believe in cultural appropriation when people are being disrespectful or portraying a negative stereotype of a minority’s culture, ie: dressing up ghetto for halloween or wearing sombreros/moustaches/ponchos as a joke or getting shitfaced on st. patrick’s day.  I just think the way we understand the catchphrase “cultural appropriation” is misinformed, and that it is dropped too often by people who don’t understand the term.)

Something that confuses me about the #reclaimthebindi movement is that the bindi is not just worn as a religious symbol in India, it is often also worn as a symbol of beauty and as a decoration by many young Indian women.  One of my really good friends in college went to India, and she came back talking about how excited her host family was that she wanted to participate in worship with them, and how proud they were that she wanted to wearing their clothing, and the thing that struck her most was how she was encouraged to wear bindis as a mark of her feminine beauty, or just for fun.  And she was really interested in the meanings of different shapes and colors of the bindis, and while many of the shapes and colors (particularly red) have a meaning in different social contexts and regions, most of the time the answer was, “Oh, that doesn’t mean anything, it’s just beautiful and it makes me feel beautiful” or “I picked pink because it matches my outfit; it’s just jewelry”.  While the bindi has a huge cultural and spiritual significance in India, it also has a purely decorative and aesthetic significance in India as well.  I’ve seen, yes, lots of white people wearing bindis, but also black people, east asian people, eastern european people, and other racially ambiguous people, and I’m not here to assume what their reasoning for donning the bindi is or what their spiritual or personal philosophies are, but from my experience with it, I think that bindis can have a religious intention, a personal intention, and also a cosmetic intention.  It can sometimes be “just jewelry” and be picked and placed because it’s aesthetically pleasing to the eye.

There will be some people who think I am wrong, and I am entirely okay with that.  And while it’s think it’s amazing to see so many beautiful Indian girls reclaiming their confidence and symbols (you go, girls!) and it’s exciting to finally see more representation of darker-skinned people wearing the bindi on Tumblr, I don’t think my usage of the bindi was something I need to be ashamed of.  I’ve finally rediscovered the bindi after years of feeling terrified of it, and wearing it two days ago made me radiate with joy and love; I felt true to myself again.  I will continue that wear my invisible bindi when I walk around town, and I will sometimes wear a real one when I am in the small, private space of my own home, because I know myself and my beliefs, and I feel happy and comfortable being able to celebrate that somewhere where I feel safe.  Maybe someday I will have the confidence and rhetoric to be able to wear a bindi in public again, but for now, I will just do what feels right for me, in a private place where only the gods and i can see! :)

(Another disclaimer before anyone gets their panties in a bundle: I am not anti-#reclaimthebindi; I think the general idea of the movement is great.  I am just really against cultural exclusivity in a religion about inclusivity.  In a modern day world we are all so culturally and racially blended, and we are all emotionally~physically~intellectually connected and change and affect each other, I hate to see such closed-off, compartmentalized thinking about how culture works.  If this causes you to not want to follow me, I will be sad to see you go, but that’s totally fine, do what makes you feel comfortable.  I know I am! :D)

Pokemon Go day trip summary:
  • Evolved Lucifer, he’s a jolteon now.
  • Caught a dratini on the metro while waiting for a delayed train.  My friend also caught one.  The business guy behind us went “Wait are you guys playing too??” and then I told him there was a dratini around and he should look and make sure his gps was accurate to get it
  • Caught enough nidoran f at the nat mall to evolve Barb
  • Finally evolved Penelope to golbat status
  • Accidentally transferred a 585 cp raticate instead of a 185 cp.  RIP me.
  • Hatched 7 5km eggs at once, had a lucky egg active so I jumped from level 10 to 12.  B)
  • New pokemon: goldeen (ROHAN), nidoran m (RORY), pikachu (TESLA), clefairy (BUZZ), dratini (DRAX), duduo (BENJAMIN), krabby (LOUIS XIV), sandhsrew (SILVIA), slowpoke (LIONEL)
  • Also evolved Castella into a starmie.
  • About 75% of the people we saw walking around were playing pokemon go– and like, most people weren’t dressed like how you would expect a player to dress (ie business man in his suit at the station).  It was GREAT.
  • Additional note to the above– 90% of the players were adults over 20– most of the kids/teens didn’t have their phones out so I had to assume they either weren’t playing or it was in their pocket or their phone was dead
  • Had legit ramen for the first time.  Had bean sprouts for the first time.  Haven’t used chopsticks in over 10 years so I had to do the white thing and eat with the spoon.  OTL
  • It was very good though.  A+
  • Also there was a pokestop at the ramen joint so I tossed a lure in it and I saw a bunch of patrons on their phones together.
  • got another 10 km egg at a pokestop
  • SO MANY POKESTOPS AT THE NATIONAL MALL HOLY HECK
  • And most had lures– there was a cluster of stops (like 6 in a group at the sculpture garden) that were all lured up.  Bananas.

anonymous asked:

You seem very anti-slender build on this blog...

why do I seem ‘anti-thin’?  is it because my blog is not catering to thin folk?

I’m fat and I like to post my outfits.  I like to give resources to other fat folk because we are not widely represented in terms of fashion (or really anything) and it’s difficult to find clothes if you’re fat.

refer to this card for more info.

fat people do not have a wide variety of blogs to choose from that are fashion oriented.  magazines/television/all forms of media cater to thin fashion/thin folk.  if you look up the terms ‘fashion’ or ‘fashion models’ you are not going to find us being represented.  this is just in terms of fashion.  fat people are taught that we are unacceptable, but especially so if we do not dress in ‘flattering’ (ie slimming) manners.  I know so many fat women who are afraid to wear shorts, to wear sleeveless tops, or dress, or skirts, or anything that doesn’t cover every bit of body they have.  Up until I was 16 years old I wore a long sleeve sweater year round (even in 100 degree weather) because I was so ashamed of my arms.  I’m trying to get out the idea that it’s okay for us to wear whatever we want and that you do not need to feel ashamed for looking any certain way.

I also post things about body acceptance/fat acceptance because fat people are taught on a constant basis that their bodies are their failures, that we should be ashamed, that we should always be aiming to be thinner, etc.  We are not represented at all in the same ways that thin/average sized bodies are.  Overall, this is a fatshion blog.  a blog that is specifically about fashion in regards to fat bodies and also self esteem.  that does not make me ‘anti-slender’, it just makes my blog representative of something else that is severely lacking in attention.

If you read my latest text post, “People who try to make you feel bad about yourself based on your appearance are so incredibly wrong and they will never be right.”..that does not at all specify only fat people.  I am thoroughly against anyone using their preferences as means for making other people feel like shit because they don’t fall under them.  I am thoroughly against any kind of ‘empowerment’ that puts down other bodies in the process of bringing one type up.  That’s not what I’m doing here though, and that should be blatantly obvious.  

This is my mate.

This is my sister.

As you can see, they are both thin and I do not resent, dislike, or have any negative thoughts about them because of it.  They are both completely beautiful, amazing human beings. I find a very broad spectrum of bodies lovely, but more than that..I don’t believe my preferences have any say in the value of other people.  I believe in body acceptance for all, with no conditions.  


A safe space for fat people does not equate to ‘anti-slender’.

Ps: you also just sent me another message (I know this because I blocked you from messaging me and when I refreshed my inbox in another page, this message was gone) asking if I’m worried about my health, stating that just like someone who is underweight or has an eating disorder is unhealthy, so is the other end of the spectrum.  you only mentioned two factors in why I should care about this, which were that I’m young and pretty.  I welcome you to read my about me, or possibly even my FAQ because you will find the answers there.  You might also want to think about how your terms for you thinking someone should be mindful of their health is that they’re young and pretty.  Now, I know that I’m not anti-thin, but you certainly do sound a bit fatphobic and confused about people un-conditionally having self love.

How to feel like you are in a hotel room:

 -take a shower at an odd time of day ie 5pm.come out clean and wet haired to a cool room or one w a heater on. The earliness of the shower will remind u of the times you take a shower earlier so everyone in ur room has a chance to use the washroom before bed

 -after shut the door to your room so you feel connected to others by feeling cozy,comfy, and safe

-bonus: clean your bed sheets so your room smells fresh like when you walk into your hotel room after a day out to the smell of “fresh” sheets creating a new room every time and indicating fresh starts 

- touch up your bathroom everyday

-watch tv live on a television in your room

-wake up early, go downstairs,eat a big breakfast,go back to your room and collect your things for your day out

-go swimming at your local pool or the pool you have (lucky) everyday so the light scent of chlorine always lingers in your room

-do you’re facial routine for the day on the floor near the closet mirror

-dim lights/bad lighting in the bathroom

-do everything in the bathroom after you take a shower ie get dress,brush hair,use toilet etc

-when you are in bed try not to move as much/adjust uncomfortably to your right sleeping position so you don’t disturb the person laying next to you/find new ways to sleep/sleep without your normal sheetings,pillows,home bed accessories 

5

Give Winter The Boot

But Like, A Stylish One

As much as I’m sick of winter, I’m even more sick of writing about how much I hate winter. Hopefully this blog post is the last time we’ll see snow in my pictures til next year… On the brighter side of all this mess, this winter has forced me to get creative when it comes to dressing for the snow ie/ doubling up on jackets, wearing turtlenecks with everything, and finding snow-shoe alternatives like these bad boys I’m rocking here. I’m pretty much obsessed with these chunky little cutie booties and I loveee the fun bright color. If I’m gonna be stomping around in the slush, I might as well look cute doing it. Happy Friday guys! Here’s hoping for a quick start to spring…

Wearing:

Lucky Brand Jacket  //  Pendleton Shirt  //  Forever21 Jeans  //  Native Boots  //  Made Eyewear Eyeglasses 

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“Would you rather” - yes, those are the only real choices

A couple of days ago I posted a Twitter poll on @nonbinarystats that has been getting a lot of attention.

I have been going to gender-specialist counselling sessions at my GIC in London to address some niggling social gender dysphoria. One of the things we’ve been talking about is that because there is no space in society as things are for nonbinary people, I/we have to constantly shout about our genders and be visible, or be invalidated by default because people don’t know about our genders at all. This means that I am forced to be visible, where cis and binary people would not be. It also means I am defined by my gender and my activism.

My counsellor asked me what a society that accepted me would look like. One of the answers I gave was that people would not assume I was a man or a woman, and perhaps they would ask my pronouns or default to “they” and gender-neutral language if they needed to.

I posted the question out of personal curiosity as the result of a conversation with a friend - she proposed the first two options and I added the last one.

I am very pleased with the almost-1,000 votes this has garnered. 1,000 is only a drop in the ocean, but the percentages are remaining fairly consistent as the votes come in, even though it has now spread further than my usual closer circle of trans and nonbinary followers and allies.

“Just guess [correctly]” is an option I couldn’t provide

Today the question has been getting a few replies along the lines of “I would rather people just choose the pronoun that matches my presentation.” I’m guessing some of these people might be genderfluid (since I know that’s a common preference with genderfluid folks), but it’s also something I hear a lot from cis and binary people. “Can’t you just call me ‘she’ automatically because I am feminine-presenting?” This is also the safest and most comfortable option for a lot of binary trans people - because who doesn’t want people to just correctly guess their pronouns all the time? I know that’s what I’d like most, but since nonbinary genders aren’t thoroughly ensconced in the public consciousness online and in my region of the world, this isn’t really an option for me. People use the wrong pronouns even when I tell them I’m a “they” and even when I wear a big red sticker on my chest saying so.

I’ll start by explaining that I deliberately left this option out, because it’s not universal and therefore requires a brief meta conversation with the person you’re about to talk about in the third person. Anything you’d have to ask or be told about can’t be included.

But that’s just logistical. A big reason that I left it out is because it erases the experiences of a lot of people - trans, cis, binary, and nonbinary.

I know someone who prefers “they” pronouns not because they’re nonbinary, but because singular “they” is the pronoun that you use for someone whose gender is unknown and they consider their gender to be a very private and personal piece of information about them that only close friends might be told about. And this fits something I’m quite passionate about: the fact that nonbinary people are a very diverse population. There is this stereotype that nonbinary people look like… well, me. Not much in the way of testosterone, youngish, small or bound or flat chest, white, slim, short hair, presenting “androgynously” (ie: masculine of centre), etc. And people need to know that nonbinary is a gender thing, an internal experience that anyone can have or be regardless of presentation or behaviour or name or pronouns or anything else. Yes, for a lot of people it feels a lot better to express their gender outwardly, but there’s no way to know what that person is expressing. You can guess, and a lot of the time you might be able to guess reliably, but you can’t know.

This idea that people should guess your pronouns based on your presentation has roots in a lot of false assumptions.

  1. That a person’s pronouns will match their gender.
  2. That a person’s gender presentation will also match their gender.
  3. That a person’s gender (upon which their gendered presentations are based) is a gender that the general public will recognise and acknowledge, socially (by not having to ask or be told) and philosophically (without questioning your assertion) and linguistically (they’ll know which words and pronouns to use without asking).

Point the first, there are people out there whose genders and pronouns do not “match”. “He” is not automatically a man’s/masculine pronoun, ditto “she”, and “they” can mean that a gender is unknown or it can include all genders or it can represent a third or shifting gender, etc. etc. After singular they, the most popular pronouns among nonbinary people are he and she, followed by “mix it up” and no pronouns. Newer singular gender-inclusive pronouns like ze/hir don’t make that top 5.

Point the second, butch women exist. Some of them are trans but most of them aren’t. Regardless of whether a woman is trans, to call her “he” because she has a masculine presentation is incredibly rude and presumptuous. The same is true for femme men, and femme and butch nonbinary people. And binary people who dress “neutrally” (ie: masculine of centre). And this is just a small fraction of the incredible diversity of gender identities and presentations out there.

Point the third, even if somehow this shoddy stereotype of nonbinary as young thin white androgynous/somewhat masculine AFAB was at all representative of most of the nonbinary population, the vast majority of humans are not aware of nonbinary genders - and if they are, they do not know that singular “they” is a popular pronoun or that we might want a pronoun other than “he” or “she”. And when they do, the number of people who tell us that they refuse to use it because it is grammatically inaccurate or just far too difficult is astounding. So many nonbinary people are in the closet just because binary people’s convenience is more important than respecting us.

My agenda

Judging by one reply in particular, there seems to have been an assumption that I am asking this question in order to push for a societal shift. Somehow they think that I intend to show everyone the results and say “look! This is what you should do when talking about a stranger henceforth!” I am asking to find out whether I should advocate for misgendering, asking, or using neutral language until told otherwise - for all people, and consistently.

How it actually is: I was curious and wanted to inform my choices with a quick Twitter poll, and thought that others might want to too.

The latter two options harm trans people

In practise, says one respondent, using “they” for everyone or asking everyone for their pronouns just doesn’t happen enough. So people end up using “they” for or asking pronouns of only visibly trans or nonbinary people, which I can definitely see would cause a lot of dysphoria for a lot of people, myself included. Anything that you have to do when cis folks don’t have to do it, that’s got dysphoria all over it.

This is certainly a big problem, and a symptom of the marginalisation of trans and nonbinary people.

As I mentioned above, I’m not advocating that anyone do a particular thing. I’ll be avoiding this problem by attempting to be consistent and sensitive. Whatever I do, I’ll do it with everyone as standard - and I may adjust what I say or do sometimes if I think a situation requires a little more care.

TL;DR

This Twitter poll is going really well! :) Some people said the best option is for people to guess a gendered pronoun based on presentation, but that erases a whole bunch of gender-nonconforming people and isn’t universally accepted. Some people seem to think I’m pushing an agenda, when actually I’m just curious. One person points out that when the poll options are applied sporadically it causes harm to trans and nonbinary people, which is true - so that’s why I’m going to try to apply them consistently.