Ok so as you might know, Villainous has a ask.fm, and some of the questions are in spanish, so here are some translations
Why is the bears name 5.0.5? Its the number that Flug assigned to his project.
Is Flug hired or enslaved? whats the difference?
What abilities do you have? Imagine your worst nightmares, the most unpleasant and most terrifying blasphemies; Because its all nothing compared to what i can do
How many suprheroes have you defeated? Too many! ive already lost count of how many incompetent heroes have been victims of my evil!
Can i torment 5.0.5? you can annihilate him if you want.
(there is one about artificial black holes but honestly i have no idea what it says and google leaves me even more confused)
how do you dress like a gentleman and at the same time be so intimidating? I like to do evil with class
About the plane that is… crashed beind your mansion, could that be Dr.Flugs lab? That plane needs to be removed, its generating too many questions.
Dear Black Hat, i see that you’re selling weapons to super villains, but but what about your goal of dominating the world? now you’re giving the weapons to other villains. why the change of plans? Boredom.
Hey!! what plans do you have about world domination by dear BlackHat? Demencia! you’ve already asked me this six times in person this month! and now this!?
Black Hat, What are you? Evil.
i’ll translate the rest if there is a demand for it
Most men with a sense of style know not to match brown shoes with black belts, a pre-tied bowtie or pyjamas in public. I remember my father once mentioning that the only glass a man loves to keep clean is the glass of his watch. When it comes to wearing watches people don’t really care about the rules. On many occasions you will discover men wearing completely inappropriate timepieces to their outfits. Being aware about some watch etiquette will save you from embarrassment, no matter how expensive, casual or formal the occasion is. Younger gentlemen will eventually begin to appreciate the meaning of classic—–an item that stands the test of time. At some point, these maritime gauges that so many of us wear look like what you’d expect to see on the QEII or Queen Mary or a cargo ship. The will fade out of vogue and when they do, you will be able to cover the succeeding watch with the cuff of your shirt and jacket sleeve.
1. Match your metals & colors Try and match the metals and the colors of the watch to the rest of the outfit you have on. Note the color of your belt buckles, shoe buckles, rings, collar bars or pins, and cufflinks and choose a watch in a matching metal. Wear yellow gold with yellow gold, and don’t wear a brown band when you’re wearing a black suit. Focus specifically on the boldest parts of the watch; the color of the strap, the color of metal and even the color of the dial.
2. Don’t wear the same watch every day Even if you only own one nice watch, you shouldn’t wear it every day for several reasons. First, if the watch is a piece that you love, giving the watch a break will make it last longer. Second, one watch is rarely suited to the variety of outfits that a man will wear in a given week. The office, the gym, sporting events, dinners out, and parties all require different clothes and hence different watches. If you wear the same watch daily, chances are that 20-30% of the time it is the wrong watch to be wearing. Regardless of your budget, if you love wearing a watch, try building up a small collection of reputable watches that suit all the various needs you have during the week, and give you favorite piece the occasional break.
3. Skip the bling Wearing a diamond encrusted watch is fine if you’re a music mogul, but it has no place in the wardrobe of a well-dressed gentleman. Like an oversized watch, flashy diamonds and jewels are simply a cry for attention. They will distract from the rest of your outfit by drawing all the attention to one point. Most people will be wondering if it’s real, rather than what kind of watch it is. Diamonds and jewels also have the effect of making men’s watches appear more feminine. Unless you’re trying to be the next Eminem, skip the diamonds – with one exception. Some dress watches use very fine diamonds or other stones to accent small details, such as the rim of the dial or the numbers on the face. If the stones are subtle and enhance the overall features of the watch without being ostentatious, then they can find a place in a gentleman’s watch collection. Just remember to wear them in appropriate settings and don’t buy sporting watches, as diamonds are not suited to more casual watches. Finally, it should go without saying that you should never buy a watch with fake stones. If you can’t afford the real thing, skip stones altogether, as they will only cheapen the overall look and make it painfully obvious that you seek the kind of attention diamonds can bring.
4. Wear your watch on the wrist that suits you The old rule of thumb was to always wear a watch on the non-dominant wrist. The reasoning was that it is the opposite of the dominant hand. Don’t let tradition dictate on which hand you wear your watch; wear it where you find it most comfortable. Like any other garment or accessory, your watch should fit you properly in two key ways. The size of the dial should be proportional to your wrist, and the band should fit snugly but comfortably. A loose band looks sloppy, so take it to your jeweler to have it sized to your wrist.
5. Admire other men’s watches from a distance Just as you would never touch another man’s wallet, don’t expect to handle his watch. For many men the watch is the only piece of jewelry they own or wear, and they take great pride in keeping it dust free, fingerprint free and well polished. It’s perfectly okay to politely ask to see a watch, but don’t expect him to take it off his wrist. If he offers, feel free to accept, but try to handle it as little as possible and never place it on a hard surface where it could get scratched.
6. Pair watches with outfits appropriately Just as you wouldn’t sit on the beach in a morning coat, you also don’t want to wear your dress watch sailing. Try and match the type of watch you wear to the activity you’re involved in each day. If you’re unsure what you’ll be doing, pair it with your choice of clothes; sport watches with athletic wear, dress watches with business wear, or a simple Seven Friday with beach wear. If you’re invited to a formal event or gathering and the dress code calls for black tie, attitudes have changed about wearing a watch. Historically it is considered impolite to wear a watch, but the rules regarding black tie have softened to accommodate wearing a simple dress watch with a black face and band if you choose. A pocket watch like U-boat or Bomberg is an alternative. For the rare white tie event, tradition demands that you do not wear a watch at all.
7. Beware the implications of checking your watch Even though a great watch is one of a man’s ultimate accessories, checking it can have some negative social implications even if that’s exactly the reason you are wearing it! If you’re on a date, in a meeting, or at a social event, don’t check your watch visibly in front of other people. Just like it’s rude to check your phone at a movie or restaurant, checking your watch shows that you have other things on your mind; things that take precedence over your present company. Unless you’re still young and have a curfew, the only way you should know what time a date is over is when she says goodnight.
8. Wear dark with dark, and light with light If you’re out during the day consider a lighter colored face such as white or cream. However, at night focus on darker dials such as black, grey or browns. Just like a tuxedo is for evening wear and you wouldn’t wear it to brunch, a dark watch dial should be on your wrist at night, rather than during your 9am tee time at the country club.
9. Never wear a dive watch with a suit Just because James Bond did it, doesn’t mean you should. James Bond was a spy who might, in fact, jump into a river in a suit at any moment. As far as we can tell, he’s the only one (besides other actors with endorsement deals with Omega) who should wear a dive watch with a suit. Dive watches are bulky, they don’t fit well under a suit jacketand they are a tell-tale sign that you don’t know the rules of watch-wearing…or that you aspire to have your own theme song. The same way that you wouldn’t wear your sunglasses at night, leave the dive watch for casual wear and pair a simple dress watch with your suit.
10. The oversized watch is over For the last couple of years, oversized watches have become the norm in men’s style. This popular trend only served one purpose: to scream for attention. An oversized watch dwarfs your wrist, throws off the proportions of your entire outfit, and simply doesn’t “fit” well into a nicely combined outfit. For a watch enthusiast, those large dials are nothing more than for show. If you want to be taken seriously in the world of horology, stick to watches that fit your wrist.
I know u don't rly do shinee but it's my birthday and it as wondering if you could do headcanons for what the members would be if they weren't idols? With maybe some romance mixed in? Your hcs are just rly good but if you don't want to do them then it's fine!!
hsfdc this is late, but i hope it is still ok!!! again, i usually don’t write for shinee but some others actually sent me asks asking for more of these guys and since it is your (quite late) birthday - here you go!!!
shinee x career!au
emergency room surgeon
is insanely good under pressure and makes quick, good decisions and isn’t afraid of leadership roles. he keeps his whole team well managed and even in life or death situations for his patients - he never gives up on them or jumps to conclusions. if there’s even a one percent chance of surgery saving them, he’s willing to take those odds
looks really REALLY good in scrubs and like all the nurses argue over who’s going to work the ER night shift just so they can see doctor onew
everyone at the hospital assumes he’s a classic gentleman, and ok sure he might dress like one, but then you go out drinking with him and he’s all dad jokes, messy eating, and totally a goofball
you’re on one of the night shifts at the hospital and it’s pretty dead, just people coming in with the stomach flu and what not so the surgery department is pretty much falling asleep where they stand
and you’re walking by with some snacks that you brought down for them
and once you get to Onew you’re like “Doctor, are you hungry?”
and Onew gives you this random smile, one that looks way too excited and you’re like ???
and Onew shrugs and then goes “How can I be hungry, when I’m Doctor?”
and everyone around you groans because god how much more cheesy can you get
but you - you damn near drop all the snacks you’re holding because you laugh so hard you try to use your hand to slap your knee but everything tumbles out of your hands and Onew gives you this shining grin because FINALLY someone has acknowledged his comedian side
and he helps you pick up the snacks and he’s like ‘want to hear another good joke?’ and you’re like yes please oh my god
and he tells you jokes the whole night because no surgeries come in and you end up in tears at how bad, but funny they all are
and when shift changes come along, Onew offers to go buy you breakfast if only so he can tell you more jokes (and you know,,,,,get to know you a little better because hey you think he’s funny and you’re mega cute)
dog show judge
know way too much about dog fashion. like way too much. like no one should have this much knowledge on such an obscure topic
is universally feared and respected through the dog show community and anyone who participates is always worried about him because he has the highest standards
loves poodles. has a poodle shaped pen that he takes notes with when studying the contestants
if Key takes a photo with a dog, that dog becomes internet famous
owns 53 different ties all with different breeds of dogs on them
you’re a novice when it comes to dog shows, but your friend really wanted to enter her toy poodle in an upcoming event - too bad she got sick the day of and begged you to fill in
so you’re standing there in line and being judged by a bunch of well….other people with dogs
and your friends dog is dead about to roll over and fall asleep on your shows and you don’t know the first thing about dog show etiquette and you’re just a mess
and when you go up you see this handsome man in front of you whose eyes are piercing your soul and you’re like gulping and he’s like
“Well, what is your dogs name?” and you almost forget your own name when he speaks to you because wow dear god he’s - stunning but you mumble out the dogs name
and Key examines the dog like it’s some invaluable work of art and you see a small smile and you’re like ok ok ok he likes the dog
but then the portion where you have to walk the dog around the ring comes and you’re like trying to get the pup to budge but it wont and you can feel all these eyes on you and you’re like c’mon please,,,,,,
but then all of a sudden your friends dog bolts and pulls you along with the leash and you lose your footing and almost fall face first to the floor
but thankfully someone catches you around the waist, supporting you back to your feet and you look up and Key gives you a chuckle and he’s like
“First time?” and you nod your head, looking at him like a lost puppy and he’s like “You’re lucky you and the dog are cute.”
and with that he takes a hold of the leash from you, makes a clicking noise and the dog follows his commands perfectly as he walks the ring with it
and everyones whispering like oh MY god,,,,Key helped them out,,,, K E Y of all people,,,,
and when the show is over, your friends dog manages third place and you’re happy with that but when Key hands you the ribbon he slips in something else before leaving with a sly smile
and you look down to see a number on a piece of paper and it says ‘third place for a first timer is ok - but call me, and we’ll make that pup a winner.’
is Key asking you out because he thinks you’re adorable or because he thinks your friends dogs is adorable? im sure you’ll find out on your date~
aesthetics, a e s t h e t i c s, A E S T H E T I C S
“how can such a loud voice come from such a tiny body?”
gives actors acting advice without ever having acted himself but the advice is actual super good tbh he’s very in demand for movies nowadays
loves directing tragedies. he lives for the Drama
will openly criticize bad script writing and will demand changes if he thinks things aren’t working out
he basically tries to do 23354 jobs at once, but his passion for good movie making is why any movie he directs ends up being a blockbuster
you work on the lighting crew for jonhyun’s latest film and everyone around you is always complaining about him having a ‘stick up his ass’ because he’s a perfectionist
but you always feel uncomfortable talking about him that way because you know how hard he works and how much effort he puts into things and so most of the time you just don’t take part of the conversation
until one day one of the interns turns to you during break and is like ‘what’s the directors problem? he keeps badmouthing the male lead - but that actor has like ten years of experience. the director is so damn full of himself’
and you want to just keep eating your sandwich but you’re like no Time to Spill the Tea
and you’re like “that actor has ten years of experience of bad acting. he debuted with a movie that was a flop and has only starred in flops since. jonghyun is trying to save his ass from another flop so really we all need to shut it and let him do his job because without him - that actor would probably be done for.”
and with that you excuse yourself and get up to go get some coffee from the refreshments tent but you walk straight into someones chest and you’re like eep- im sorr-
and you look up to see jonghyun and you’re like gfdkhlslfd oh m y god im sorry director-
but he just grins and suddenly puts his arm around you and is like “do you mean that? that im that actors saving grace?” and you’re like oH YOU HEARD
and jonghyun gives you a toothy grin again and is like “you don’t think i need to get off my high horse?” and you like shake your head like “tbh i dont think you were on a high horse in the first place, that actors just on the floor compared to you.”
that makes jonghyun laugh and he ruffles your hair a bit and you blush like,,, what’s he doing,,,,,
and jonghyun is like “it’s nice to have someone on your side in the crew - remind me to hire you again for my next movie.”
he gives your hair another ruffle and you’re like omgomomog he likes,,,me,,,enough to want to keep working with me omomomg
and tbh you can’t help but do a little victory cheer for yourself and jonghyun’s going back to re-read the script but he can’t stop himself from smiling because he’s like “who knew we had such cute people working for us,,,,,” (you. he’s talking about you)
everyone loves him because he starts off relatively calm and you know he’s making comments about the teams strategy
but halfway into the game he’s pulling his tie loose and yelling into the mic and losing his goddamn mind over a game of soccer
and whenever korea gets a goal he belts out like half the national anthem and is like KOREA 4 LYFE
and he basically gets super hyped and in turn it gets everyone else super hyped and it becomes a party
once ripped his pants jumping up onto the announcers desk and almost mooned every1 on tv,,,,,,beautiful
you’re his makeup artist and every time you’re like ‘Minho if you sweat a lot the concealer might come off-’ and he’s like ‘ok i promise i won’t start getting overworked’
but LOL that doesn’t last by the next commercial break you have to run over and wipe the sweat of and touch up his whole face
and you’re always grumbling like Minho,,,,you are killing me,,,,,
and he’s always apologetic giving you the damn puppy eyes and you’re like thAT DOESNT WORK JUST CALM DOWN AND DONT SMUDGE UR MAKEUP
but then the next break comes and you’re back over there to touch him up and one day you’re just like “i swear you’re worse than idols who have to sweat when they’re dancing - you’re just here getting worked up over-”
but then you feel his arm come up to touch your cheek gently and he’s like “really, i know it’s hard but im really happy you bare with me.”
and you look at him, a small bit of sweat still apparent over his brow and his deep set pretty brown eyes and you swallow like
oh,,,,,it’s nothing i was just saying that because,,,
and Minho’s lips curl up a bit into a smile and he’s like “after this don’t fix my makeup - just get your things so we can go get dinner.”
and your heart jumps but you’re like gflkgljfe ok
and the camera man is like we’re back on in 5 seconds and you need to scramble off the set, but then you catch Minho’s eye and he winks and you’re like,,,,,,,,,oh,,,,,,
and you’re like he really is a sweet perso- and then he starts yelling and you can see him touching his face with his hands and you’re like MINHO YOUR MAKEUP GOD DAMMIT
museum tour guide
“what did you study in college Taemin, art history?”
“I studied Egyptology with a minor in mortuary science. Do you want me to tell you exactly how it was that they made mummies? I even know the step-by-step intestines extracti-”
weird facts enthusiast
refuses to wear the ‘suggested uniform’ of the museum staff which is light and friendly colors he’s fine wearing his black eyeliner, black jeans, and black large sweater that swallows him whole
tells kids about how the god seth murdered osiris and when parents are like isn’t that a bit explicit Taemin is like ‘death is a part of life, they know that - right kids? we all die, isn’t that fun?’
how he hasn’t lost his job is a mystery
you’re at the museum looking for something fun to do for a freelance project and you’re like trying to gain inspiration from all the cool ancient gods but nothing’s coming to mind
and Taemin notices how you keep scrunching up your nose and writing things down only to cross them out hastily and curmple the paper
so he like comes over and is like ‘Need help? (—-:’ and you’re like sighing like ,,,,, no not re-
but then you look up at him and you’re like in your head like o wait no ur hot and so you’re like ‘yeah!! do you know anything cool about the Egyptian gods-’
Taemin puts up his hands and is like ‘Say no more. I’m the man you’ve waited for your whole life.’
and you’re a bit red like,,, oh,,,w-what and Taemin is like my shift ends in 5 minutes wait here
and that’s how you end up in a cafe across the street where Taemin unleashes the longest explanation of ancient gods that you ever thought you’d ever hear in your life
but somehow it is super entertaining, maybe because Taemin is so passionate or maybe because the topic is actually much cooler than you expected
and Taemin somehow finally stops and you’ve got a whole half book of notes and he’s like hope i helped!!! and you’re like you did more honestly how can i ever repay you
and Taemin scratches the back of his neck and he’s like ahhh,,,wanna go see this new documentary coming out on King Tut with me? Unless that’s bori-
but you’re like YES let’s do it it’s a date and Taemin is like cracking out into this big smile because usually people don’t want to be around him when he’s geeking out over stuff he likes but you seem so eager and he’s just like before you leave he’s like
“can i kiss your cheek?” and you’re like omg ,,,sure but why did you ask?? and Taemin is like “Goddess Isis would not be pleased if I didn’t ask you first-” and you’re like hehe cute
Remus Lupin Meeting Your Muggle Parents For The First Time
Requested by @amandasinedahl
In which Remus Lupin meets your parents for the first time. Sorry for the wait hun!
The small town of Rotherham, England, sat a rather dainty house; it’s garden perfectly trimmed, flowers healthy, fence coated with a fresh colour and it laid in the middle of a rather quite neighbourhood. Your parents had lived quite ordinary lives, your mother a primary school teacher and your father a local doctor, together they raised a bright and bubbly child, who had a seemingly normal childhood. Until she had magically levitated the house cat out of the tree. Since then, your patents had learned you were in fact a witch who now currently attends Hogwarts, a magnificent school for witchcraft and wizardry.
Your parents never really understood magic, no matter how much you tried to explain the them- they couldn’t really comprehend it. They weren’t used to the oddity and lifestyle of it, it just defied all their beliefs and they rarely spoke about your lie at Hogwarts.
That was something Remus Lupin knew well for a fact.
Yet, he asked if he could meet your parents after a full year and a half of dating. You however were simply worried for your parents reaction. Of course you weren’t ashamed, Remus was a complete gentleman and you were sure your parents would adore him as much as you did, but you weren’t ready for all the questions. You hadn’t told your parents that Remus was a werewolf, they probably didn’t think they were real in all honesty. You also hadn’t told your parents of what you wanted to do when you were older, you hadn’t told them about the war brewing up either.
It was safe to say; you went entirely truthful with your parents.
Alas, it was too late to cancel it now, you were all dressed up and ready for Remus’ arrival, wearing a simple yet graceful red dress and a necklace Remus had bought you for your 1 year anniversary.
You were preparing your dining table when the sharp crack sound of magical apparation startled your parents and a gentle knock echoed through the front room. Your mother squeeled in delight as she opened the door, welcoming and ushering Remus into the warm of your home.
“Good evening, I’m Remus,” He smiled warmly to you your mum, “Very pleased to finally meet you.”
You couldn’t help but smile broadly at your boyfriend, he looked like such a gentleman dressed in a patched tweed blazer, shirt and slacks. You could recognise his own stitches in the jacket, adding a unique personal touch. Snapping out if it, you greeted Remus with a hug and a peck to his cheek and lead him into the living room where he met your dad. Remus greeted your father with a firm handshake, extending his hand, the watch you bought him for your anniversary delicately placed upon his wrist.
Sitting down on the sofas, the conversations quickly started up. You watched as Remus conversed with your family, not once did he mention magic nor did he look out of place or uncomfortable, politely answering any questions as you sat next to him, pitching in whenever you could.
You were all sat around the dinner table, enjoying your mother’s magnificent cooking, light conversation still present. “This cooking is absolutely wonderful.” Remus praised you mum, who was currently blushing a deep red from the younger male’s approval. “Oh stop dear, this is just a normal family meal.” She replied modestly, her face beaming with pride.
“So Remus, what do you want to do when you’re older?” Your father curiously asked after a chatter about your parents’ professions.
You nearly spat out your steak as you knew that Remus was planning to join the Order and become an Auror- a dangerous profession in a seemingly “peaceful” world (as far as your parents knew).
Remus wasn’t prepared for the sudden question but he kept a calm front as he swallowed his bite and honeslty replied; “I want to become a Professor.”
Cautiously you looked up from your plate and glanced up at your dad to see what his next words were. “As in a teaching Professor? At Hogwarts?” Your dad carefully asks, not sounding too sure about his own question.
Remus nodded in agreement, “I always enjoyed learning magic, I loved learning new things in general. I remember when I first met your daughter,” he paused, looking up at you with a nostalgic smile, “she didn’t know a thing about magic, and the look on her face every lesson when she learn something new was something I’d never forget. It reminds me that to some people, magic wasn’t an everyday normal thing.” Remus explained, the room going silent, “I think that passing on such knowledge to someone whose probably never known about magic before is such a blessing. I’d feel incredibly proud to teach someone something they’d may never have comprehended before.” He finished off, staring lovingly into your gaze.
Your mother let a soft coo and the quiet atmosphere broke into light chuckles. Soon enough everyone was laughing and joking about old times. Your parents told stories about when you were a child and the cookie jar on the top shelf would suddenly appear on the coffee tables. Even Remus performed a little magic for your parents and levitated all he empty plates and cutlery into the kitchen sink, startling your mother as her eyes bugged out of her sockets. All of their minds were off of any negativity until it was late, and time for Remus and you to leave.
You all crowded around the door, kissing and hugging goodbyes. You were almsot successfully out of the door when your mother grabbed onto both of your sleeves.
“You listen to me,” she sternly spoke to you, “Remus is an absolutely grand young man and don’t you even think about letting him go, you’ve found the one.” She coyly smiled at you.
“Don’t you worry mum, I wouldn’t dream of ever letting him go.” You fondly relied, intertwining your hand wit Remus’.
“And you,” she turned to look at Remus with an expression so like her daughters; Remus couldn’t help but stand straighter. “No matter where you are, who you’re with, promise me you’ll protect my daughter no matter what. She may not tell me the whole truth but I know that no all is as peaceful as she makes it out to be.“ At this she turned to look at you, your cheeks ablaze with embarrassment. Her stern eyes turned o Remus’ once more."Tell me you’ll protect her.”
“I would die for her.” Remus promised.
All traces of firmness gone, replaced with loving, “Good man.” Your mother cupped his cheek affectionately before letting you both go.
Halway down the street, Remus grinned crookedly down at you, “Good man eh?” He chuckled.
Valentine’s Day Love Languages: Words of Affirmation
Credence Barebone was a
young man starved of the most basic human needs of affection and affirmation.
In her efforts to practice “tough love” upon her adoptive children, Mary-Lou
Barebone’s methods had, instead bred socially negative results. Credence, being
the biggest receptor and made a forced glutton of these “affections”, faired
the worst of them all. Granted, this was assisted by the fact that he had
became the unwilling host to a destructive manifestation of wrath and hatred. But
even post-havoc and post-Obscurus separation, the deeds done onto him had been
done: Credence was damaged.
Being a Shelby and Alfie takes an interest in you(Part 2)
“This is stupid.” You scolded yourself quietly, reading the sloppily scrawled, hand-written note for the hundredth time. You couldn’t believe he had kept his word. This was by far the most ridiculous situation you had ever found yourself in. As you reached the end and started from the beginning again, you felt a strange sense of admiration wash over you.
“Dear Miss Shelby,
You said get a letter to you in Birmingham without alerting your brothers. You also said that you’d go out with me if I could. Here’s the letter; where’s your end of the bargain?
Come to the place you picked this up at 8:30 tonight.
When the light in her Mindscape begins to slowly fade, turning all colors to gray, Emmy Noether is sitting on the couch with her hands folded on her lap. The chalkboard before her is completely empty, but she still looks at it as though she can read something on its surface that Bill cannot. Which is, of course, impossible. He sees everything.
And now he sees her end is not long in coming.
“You’re not gonna wake up again, Mother Hen,” he says. His voice seems to echo around them, as though through a vast and empty space.
The law of conservation of mass states that nothing is created and nothing is destroyed - but it can be changed beyond recognition, taken apart, shattered, and there is hardly any difference at all. Besides, this is not mass. This is a mind.
Draco and Astoria don’t really know how relationships work, nobody ever taught them, or handed them a handbook on how love is supposed to look like and what it means to care for someone..
He used to think love looked like his parents…But how do you love and yet consciously chose to hurt what your partner loves? How do you love a person and yet hate everything else so much? Isn’t love at least supposed to be easy?.
At one point in his teens Draco decided it wasn’t supposed to look that way.. And he never saw any other good example of what he wanted love to look like. Somehow he just kept adding to the list of what it wasn’t..
Astoria was taught that love would hurt her, subdue her, make her sacrifice everything she liked in her herself in the altar of a man’s approval, love was like a collar on a dog. And no good couple she met ever seemed to disabuse her mind of that belief..
It was better to aspire to a good business partnership like her parents than to ever wish for love..
Neither of them knew how relationships worked, when Draco and Astoria fell in love they only knew how relationships DIDN’T work, so as it was, they both decided to write their own rules. Maybe someone needed to do it..
Some days are better than others..
There are days Astoria wakes up early and spends hours staring at Draco before giving up and convincing him to stay in bed with her, where the sheets smell like orchids and the only sounds in the world are sighs and giggles, days they don’t leave the house and pretends that responsibilities don’t exist ..
There are days he dresses like a gentleman and drags her out to Monte Carlo for the Broomstick Grand Prix, like the snob he is, they sip veela wine in SkyView boxes and bet on professional flyers while they enjoy the sunshine for hours, basking in the universe of people who are fortunate enough to be rich and beautiful. .
And days Draco wakes up crying and she holds him to her chest for hours, reading Tolstoy in the library and carding her fingers through his hair until he can bring himself to rights once again. Days of salty tears and watered down chicken soup, that smell like withered roses and feel like drowning in the black lake..
Some days they take skis to Aspen and animate armies of snowmen to attack each other with projectiles of ice. Playing silly games in which the battle becomes forfeit in favor of the first one who manages to steal a kiss from their opponent. (Astoria wins, Draco always let’s her win). Laughter sounds clearer and it almost feels like they’ve never been to a mountain before as they slide down the snow. .
Sometimes they don’t live in a two person world..
There are days where work is filled with a terrible tedium and visits to their families end with mutual exhaustion, because socializing feels and will always feel like a humongous game of chess with only one person on their side. Those days guards need to stay up and survival instincts are all that keeps them afloat in a unforgiving world. Days that end without hostility and feel like personal victories..
There are days they trek through muggle London’s farmers market, because honestly food grown magically sometimes lack a certain flavor. Draco takes to wearing khakis and Astoria dons summer dresses and flip flops while waxing poetic about blueberries and kale, that will later be made into smoothies for Draco by some house elf. Muggles in market stalls always look so happy selling their stock to the the young couple and it isn’t half as bad as other purebloods would think..
There are days Astoria gets sick, and Draco spends the day like a human handkerchief because she resents his superhuman illness resistant body and doesn’t hesitate in vindictively covering him in bodily fluids. Those are the days he laughs and teased her best, she acts like a angry kitten and Draco either turns her into blanket burritos or dumps her into warm water baths whenever he manages to catch her. Days of healers and too much mock seriousness in the face of their own mortality because father death has knocked on Draco’s door too many times to bother being scared of a flu..
There are days when they simply don’t feel in the mood to speak and spend days in companiable silence. Her in her garden, him in his study, merely communicating in hugs and hand holds..
And days when the wind blows too cold and Astoria comes home in tears asking Draco why the world is such a cruel place? Why can’t everyone try to understand?. Days he holds her tightly in his best imitation of a Griffindoor, because he wishes he could crusade against evil with just a sword and a shield, where he pretends to be a man he isn’t because he knows she needs him to be her champion, let him fight her battles while she recovers enough to do it herself..
Also days of Spring where everything is beautiful and nothing hurts, where the floo flashes with good news and he spins Astoria around with delight, days they play in a kitchen they never learned to use and thank God for the gift of being alive, days colors look brighter and laughing is easier, because those are days life looks like a good thing..
There are days he wants to kill her….There are days she wants to kill him. Unhappy days where spells fly and angry words are exchanged in the place of unforgivables, and even when it seems hopeless and sad and frustrating to keep believing in their love eventually Draco and Astoria survive those kind of days too..
Sometimes days come with music, where Draco plays the violin to Astoria’s piano, days where he chooses sit in the music room and simply watch her dance, like a ballerina come alive out of a music box just for him, because, she’s a far better dancer than she is pianist and while Draco could easily learn to match her, he likes knowing that there are things Astoria can inbue with more beauty than he ever could. Days Astoria’s tinkering Alto joins with Draco’s tenor in harmonies that shouldn’t sound as melodic as they do in lyrics meant to coax smiles..
And days of rain and tea where their house smells like rainforest and the only thing they do is read each other novels and eat sweets from owl order catalogues. Those days are for warm drinks and snuggles and practicing potions, or charms or transfiguration. Because rain reminds them of the Slytherin dungeons and of a professor that once demanded only the best from the children in his house..
Overall there are good days and bad days, some extremely great days and a smattering of awful yucky ugly days in between. No two days are the same and time ebbs and flows depending on fate’s mood, but Draco and Astoria are learning what makes a relationship work little by little. .
And maybe when their baby is born, they might even start to have days filled with his laughter. .
Draco and Astoria don’t know much about how love works, why it happens or how to stop it. But they’ve figured out enough of it’s mysteries to pass it down to their baby and maybe, who knows, their Scorpius might not have to..
An: The prequel to “defining love” that nobody asked for ..
And on even young adult novels in this universe give Regina a creepy backstory…
Regina is 16. She’s at a royal ball and being set up for courtship by among other people Queen Eva, to a man who has already a widower twice over and this is his physical description:
The top of his head rose only to my nose. He looked to be about three times my age, with a floppy reddish mustache, a scraggly beard that seemed to be holding on to the point of his chin for dear life, and baggy folds of skin under his eyes that reminded me of Thaddeus’s. He dressed like a gentleman of means, complete with a ruffled cravat, a royal-blue jacket tailored to his barrel-shaped chest, and gleaming pointy-toed shoes. Yet he smelled like he’d taken a roll in a cabbage patch. –Regina Rising, p198
Wosh… This took a while. But I finally finished it. Made a ton of references to different fandoms in this one, so if you want to give a shot at naming the fandoms, post your guesses! One of them should be obvious. The other, not so much.