dress for a funeral

scienceisthegreatest  asked:

Im so sick of people thinking that becoming a force ghost is like going to force heaven

For real. It’s not. From my understanding, it’s a bit like purgatory. Normal people, Jedi included, “go into the Force” and are at peace. I believe it is kind of like heaven, since Trisha Biggar said that Padmé wearing the funeral dress signified her “return to the lake of Naboo”, with her happy memories of Anakin and their love. So, Padmé is basically back where she was at her happiest, and that’s where she’ll spend her afterlife. But as a Force Ghost, you’re caught between the living and the Force. You can reveal yourself to only a select few people, and it’s a lonely existence, since you’re stuck watching the living and ‘assisting’ them until I believe, your mission is either done or you have done penance. So, my headcanon is that Obi-Wan went to the Force and stopped being a Force Ghost at the end of ROTJ, since his mission is complete. Anakin, however, just became a Force Ghost, and will have to do penance and assist our heroes in saving the galaxy if he wants peace in the Force. Bottom line, being a Force Ghost does not mean you are redeemed or you’re in heaven.

@catholic followers: can we please relish the fact that apparently the trump family’s idea of ‘appropriate outfit to wear when meeting the pope’ turned out to be ‘have watched too many sophia loren films and subsequently dressed up for a funeral in southern italy sometime around 1965’, because i’ve been snickering since this morning and still can’t stop

PadMay

Day 21: Favorite RotS Costume

The Funeral Gown

The last thing she is ever seen wearing. She and the dress are so beyond beautiful. She looks like an angel almost. The dress looks like she’s wearing a waterfall, and all those sequins catch the light in such a sparkling way. The flowers in her hair are beautiful too, looking almost like stars. The flowers and resemblance of water seem to represent the natural world, and is a stark contrast to what Anakin has become. Vader’s costume is dark, cold, and terrifying. He is a man-made machine, nearly devoid of life, where as Padme seems to represent things that grow and give life, despite the fact that she is the one that has died. 

The designer, Trisha Biggar, said the costume was meant to resemble the lakes of Naboo and symbolize her spiritual return to the lake. Natalie Portman once said the dress reminded her of Ophelia in that Padme looks like she’s drowning. I think these are interesting ways to interpret the dress. And I’m so glad they decided to include the japor snippet, calling back to her love for who Anakin once was.

The Types and Their Level of Scariness
  • <p> <b>INTJ:</b> At first they might seem worrisome because of their intense stare and nihilistic sentiments, but all it takes is one harsh critique about something important to them and they'll crumble. Their bark is infinitely worse than their bite. Will write a series of salty "blind item" blog entries about you for months. 6/10; too passive-aggressive to be truly scary.<p/><b>INFJ:</b> Hard to get to know, but when they like you, they REALLY like you and you'd better not do anything to break their trust because all of those warm, fuzzy feelings will 180 into pure end-times-level wrath. If you've ever encountered an angry INFJ, you've seen the face of the devil himself. 10/10; scary af<p/><b>ENTJ:</b> While they're capable of verbally disemboweling someone they dislike, they won't actually come after you unless they're bored and feel like starting drama for shits and giggles. Threw a punch once and didn't like it too much. Will tell you to go choke on a bag of dicks with the biggest, brightest smile on their face. 6/10; scary only in theory<p/><b>ENFJ:</b> They love you so, SO much and they want you to do your absolute BEST at EVERYTHING you EVER do like REALLY really, so when you don't meet their expectations, they will get more and more assertive about you achieving your dreams (read: their dreams) until they eventually snap and stab you to death in your sleep. 9/10; file a restraining order and you might be okay.<p/><b>INTP:</b> Too lazy to truly get mad about anything. The only really scary thing about INTPs is their complete disregard for cleanliness. You'll find Chinese takeout boxes from six months ago covered in maggots by their bed, but you won't find nary a discouraging word coming out of their mouths. Only does damage to living things in RPGs. 2/10; scary hygiene but harmless.<p/><b>INFP:</b> Is someone who spends a lot of time writing poetry, getting drunk and crying hysterically about things that happened ten years ago really that scary? I mean, they'll probably throw a whiskey glass or a vase in your general direction and curse you out for a solid ten minutes, but then they'll go right back to crying in fetal position. 4/10; just walk away, dude.<p/><b>ENTP:</b> They'll fuck with you just for the sake of having something to do that day. They'll fuck with you sometimes for no reason whatsoever. They fuck with people because it's just in their nature. Occasionally they'll take things too far and you'll wind up in the hospital but probably never in a morgue. Might send you flowers during your hospital stay. 8/10; scary neurotic<p/><b>ENFP:</b> They're either your best friend or your worst enemy and there is literally no in-between. Sometimes they'll get mad at you for reasons you don't even understand. Rarely ever will they try to physically harm you, though. They'll just whine about "fake people" in their DeviantART journal and mope about for a long time before randomly deciding you're their friend again. 4/10; Super confusing but not scary.<p/><b>ISTJ:</b> The embodiment of "walk softly and carry a big stick". Will sit outside of your bedroom window for days with a shotgun, ready for you to make a wrong move so they can blow you to smithereens. Don't try calling the police, because they're probably a police officer or at least connected to one in some way. In other words, you're fucked. 10/10; lawful evil personified.<p/><b>ISFJ:</b> They love you with all their hearts but they also hate the things you do, ie "love the sin, hate the sinner". Usually harmless, but some of them quickly lose their shit when double-crossed. Might mix poison in your sweet tea and then bury you underneath a bed of roses in the backyard. Prays for your certainly-damned soul every night before supper. 7/10, only scary when provoked.<p/><b>ESTJ:</b> Their big mouths and intense, confrontational attitudes can put the fear of God into you, but for an ESTJ to truly be scary, they'd have to physically harm you and they don't want to jeopardize their careers over something that foolish. Will judge you hardcore from afar but that's about it. 5/10; talks shit but you won't get hit.<p/><b>ESFJ:</b> They're the undisputed champions of guilt-trips, and they'll guilt-trip you over things so incessantly that you might suffer a loss of self-worth in the process, which could lead to severe depression and no will to live. Will attend your post-suicide funeral in a really expensive dress and tell mourners how you could have "really been something". 6/10; scary shady<p/><b>ISTP:</b> No chill towards people they dislike. They will straight-up brutalize your ass in one-on-one combat and you will lose. Will put you in the hospital, wait until you've been released, and THEN put you in a morgue. Probably will laugh about killing you over cold ones with the boys for decades to come. 10/10; cold-blooded killers.<p/><b>ISFP:</b> There is no such thing as a scary ISFP. They might get hurt with you but they just let that shit go after a while. More likely to channel their negative feelings into an artistic outlet than something destructive. No time for pettiness or holding grudges. 0/10; anti-scary saviors<p/><b>ESTP:</b> Also has no chill towards people they dislike, but their hair-brained schemes at revenge are often poorly executed. Will threaten to "beat your ass" for months but won't actually do it unless they're drunk or high. Once they do get physically aggressive towards you though, you are deader than dead. 7/10; flee town before things escalate.<p/><b>ESFP:</b> Often incorrigibly shallow, they'll start rumors to sully the reputation of their enemies before they'd actually consider getting their hands dirty. Rarely ever starts fights but they sure do love jumping into other peoples' fights and finishing them. Will get one of their besties to film the entire beat-down and put it on Snapchat. Hair and makeup somehow stays flawless the entire time. 3/10; more petty than scary.<p/></p>

so the way my brother got the tickets was he called the number on darren aronoksky’s twitter… it told him to go to this random corner in chinatown where there was a woman playing a tuba who asked him “what do you seek?”… he got his thumbprint taken and was told to follow this painted line down like 5 blocks and it brought him to this fucken alley and down the alley was a man with a briefcase and the man asked “what do you seek?” and then took the paper with his finger print and fucken burned it.. and then had my brother hold the briefcase for him to open and the suitcase like lit up and he pulled out a fucking pepper thats meant to be a heart but inside the pepper is a deadass skeleton key with a phone number on i and when you call the number it tells you that this is your ticket to the premiere and to dress like youre going to a funeral…. like WHAT kind of fucking advertising stunt i LOVE it

Mafia! Johnny

» An AU where Johnny is a mafia leader but accidentally falls in love with a girl.

  • Oh boy, I’m probably gonna die after this
  • But anyways, Johnny, as a mafia leader….interesting
  • He is really intimidating, mostly because of his hard stare and frame so tall and strong
  • He dressed up smart but shaggy at the same time. To a normal person, he would look terrifying
  • Tattoos, piercings all lining his body, contaminating his milky white complexion 
  • But that was what caught your attention when you saw him sit across from you in the local bar
  • Hair shiny, slicked back. His hands were big, veins popping from underneath the skin, his fingers slender
  • Johnny was the kind of person no one wanted to mess with. Leader of the most terrifying mafia clan in town, hard to contradict and extremely hard to win against
  • He had a special way with words. His talk more than often manipulating people in dangerous ways. His illegal smirk whenever he got his way
  • You were sat on your uncomfortable seat, a Martini in hand and time to spare. He was so different from other people that you couldn’t help but stare at him
  • His strides were so calculated and soft that it would bring a cat to shame, movements so confident and assured that you wanted to give him an award
  • When he ordered a Sunset Rum, you had caught his voice. Deep and thick with his funny but sexy accent. He hadn’t noticed you ogling at him yet and you decided to enjoy the view for a while
  • Your blind date had ditched you and left you sitting in the tight red dress your friend had forced you into
  • So much for being that strong, independent girl who never needed to impress a man
  • But today you were needy, for something. Something that made you feel alive, painful yet pleasurable. Which is why you put extra effort in your appearance
  • Johnny finally noticed your burning stare and raised his eyebrows at you. You gave him a small smirk with your bright red lips, bringing your drink closer to your face
  • He looked away, smiling to himself and staring at the small glass with his drink. He wore a black coat and white collar shirt. It wasn’t ironed which added to his distraught yet intriguing look. You were never into good boys who dressed straight with matching underwear
  • He lifted himself up and brought the drink over to you,digging his gaze into you
  • Both of you just sat in silence, not knowing how to strike up a conversation. You wished people could just initiate sex without flirting or a hearty conversation. As rude as it was, it was easier
  • He smelled like honey and smoke
  • “Did you get stood up or something?” He asked. Your eyes widened at how close he was. The voice that melted you from within so far away was now ringing in your ear as close as anything could be
  • “Did you come back from a funeral? You’re definitely dressed like you are.” You were good at retaliation. Most of your attempts at flirting came off as mean and rude but he just smirked. He liked your vigour. One question led to another and his hands were up on your thigh. He was close, close enough for you to kiss his plump lips. “Not here,” he said, giving your thigh a hard squeeze. You bit your lip and just stared at those damned lips of his. He pulled you by the hand and led you out of the warm bar. The air was cold but his hands weren’t and as he led you to his car, you grew colder and more impatient. No one had turned you on like this
  • The pressure between your legs was immense as you were carefully thrown into the backseat of his car. Rough but gentle, he was. His movements and the smooth skin of his abs were the only thing you remembered. Followed by the intense euphoria his touches sent you into, a bliss, desperation for more, begging, screaming
  • He talked dirty but didn’t make you feel like a slut. It was more deep. This guy knew what he was doing. His tattoo covered arms were blush red, the blood running vigorously through him. His black hair had a blue sheen to them as they grew wet with his sweat. His tattoos making your small head wonder and the piercings that felt cold against your skin
  • When you both were done with your little activity, he sat back, instantly pulling out of you. Most boys would fall against you and whisper something sweet. Like “that was amazing babe” or “Maybe we should catch a drink later.” But not this lad
  • He sat back, pulling on his pants as you tried your best to cover up as quickly as you can. Heart beat faster than a horse and cheeks burning because of the excessive exposure of skin
  • He brought a cigarette to his lips, setting fire to it god knows when. You sat there staring him in awe, feeling a bit used as he didn’t say a word. I mean, you guys literally just fucked
  • He offered you a smoke but you denied, wanting to leave. “Uh I should go,” you uttered. He blew a puff of smoke through his nose and turned to look at you. The parking lot was empty and unlit. The only source of illumination was the moon and the far off street lights. The piercings on his ear glistened against the faint light. He looked like the devil, a beautiful devil that allured people into his den of sin. He leaned in, the fragrance coming back. He reached for your face and slid the stray strand of hair behind your ear. Your face was a mess. Red lipstick smudged and eyes black with run down mascara. You had faint red hickeys all over your collarbones. “Can we do this again sometime? And preferably not in my car”
  • A mistake once committed becomes a lifelong habit. You both slept with each other a daily basis. He was always stressed because of money dealing, drug dealing, enemies coming for his life. And you just needed to kill your boredom. Your fucked up relationship remained a secret to his gang and your friends. The last thing you needed was your friends to know that you sleep with this dubious boy who you knew nothing about
  • He never told the boys  because he didn’t them to think he was in love. Which he wasn’t, at least he thought so. He was the leader, the person that made everything run within and outside his clan. The leader people feared because of what he can do. A powerful delinquent who could not be moved from his stance
  • You were a distraction for him. Your hard demeanour, dainty face, small body. It was what attracted him. How you weren’t shy, how daring you were, how you never judged, never asked him who he really was
  • It had been a month and his feelings began to change. He was a broken person, love was the last thing on his mind. The last time he witnessed love was when his father had kissed him on his head and told him to be a good boy. The last kiss, the last glance and then he was gone. Taken away by the car crash, Johnny was alone. His mother remarried which made her even more distanced. She hated him, thought he was the reason why she had to marry his father. And once he died, she wasted no time in providing him with an abusive step father
  • When you arrived at his lavish place,one day, his gaze was different. His touches were softer and voice slow, like he was reciting the words to his favourite poem. You felt weird after, leaving his apartment with millions of thoughts in your mind
  • Later that week, he arrived at your place. It was a shock at first because he didn’t seem the kind of guy to arrive at a girl’s place. You were in your ugly pyjamas, not looking your best self. But he was a bloody mess. Red liquid spilled from his wounded lip and a big purple bruise sat on his eye. His white collar shirt was shredded, showcasing the wounds and gashes that were dangerously swollen and bloody
  • You were almost in tears, you had never seen anyone so broken before. He had been drinking too with his fists red carrying slits and bruises. He leaned against the door before falling into your arms. His hair were dishevelled. He still smelled the same. You could recognise his scent anywhere. You carried him to the couch, sitting him up and fetching a first aid box
  • You sat on his lap and cleaned his wounds. His eyes were closed and breath short and steady. He’d often flinch as you applied the anti septic to his sickly wounds
  • You didn’t know when you fell in love with him. Didn’t even know how and why. It just happened. That day, when you guys fucked..no..had sex. There was a difference between the two. There was definitely an unspoken feeling between you two
  • He finally opened his eyes and smiled when he saw you. “Hey beautiful,” he said. He still looked as breathtaking as ever. “Why Johnny? Why…” you cried, not holding back anymore. He pulled you into his chest and caressed the small of your back. You pulled away and stared at him with wet eyes. “Why do you do this to yourself? Get into fights, smoke, waste your life drinking?”
  • He stayed silent for a minute and then spoke. “If I told you, will you leave?” He almost whispered. You shook your head, throat in painful knots. “I’m a mafia leader,” he managed. You had a hunch he was related to people that were up to no good. That he was up to no good. You nodded, understandingly. As you raised your hand up to clean the wound on his cheeks, he stopped you. “I’m poison Y/N. I destroy things, decay them, make them cease to exist. But I’m-” You raised your eyebrows at him. “I’m also in love with you.” You smiled at that, half relieved and half excited. He held your face in his palms that had a metallic whiff to them, and pulled you in for a soft kiss. A kiss that tasted like salt, like water on a hot hot day. It was gentle, polite, beautiful. You wanted more.
  • That night he had made love to you,telling you he loves you with every move. You woke up next to him, his face still swollen and messy
  • Johnny wanted to keep your relationship undercover, still not letting the boys know about you. He acted strange at times, often cancelling plans because he wanted to spend time with you
  • It was less sex, more cuddling. More watching movies and exchanging jokes. He became human around you. Whereas with other people he would be tough and a pure hoodlum, he was so sweet towards you
  • He often warned you about people who might try to hurt you. He had made a promise to not lose you, after his father. He wanted to protect you the way he couldn’t prevent his father’s accident
  • He slowly broke the news to the boys, who were caught off guard
  • His clan was filled with gorgeous boys, ranging from teenagers to early adults. They were all so much more playful around each other, joking and running around like hooligans. It was a surprise because you had expected them to be dark and scary. Although they were like deathly wolves with other people, they were nice to you. One of the boys, Taeyong, would often thank you for the ways in which you had changed Johnny. In ways he had become more human, more gentle with the boys
  • Johnny wasn’t perfect. He was still a mafia leader who would interact with the wrong guys, carry out activities that were against the rules of a civilised society. He didn’t change completely. He was still the Johnny people feared and respected. But not with you. You were his everything. Every ounce of him yearned to protect and love you. And you didn’t want to change him either. For who he really was, broken and cold, made you fall in love with him in the first place.

A/N: I still can’t write smut and maybe it’s lacking smut stuff but eh…enjoy!

Play Dress-Up with my Muse!

Send an outfit or two, and I’ll draw my muse dressed up!

- Maid/Butler outfit
- Super Hero/Heroine
- Magical Girl
- Ghostbuster
- In Lolita fashion
- In Steampunk fashion
- As a pop/rock star
- As a King/Queen
- As a Prince/Princess
- As a Knight
- In a Kigurumi of the mun’s choice
- In a casual dress
- In Semi- Formal attire
- In a formal dress
- Fancy party outfit
- Casual party outfit
- In wedding attire
- In funeral attire
- In a traditional cultural/heritage outfit
- In Cosplay
- As a class/role in an RPG
- In sleepwear
- As a zombie
- As a vampire
- As a werewolf
- As a Witch/Wizard
- In a random outfit!

What Happens When You Die? A Look At Embalming

Though once only reserved for the very rich and powerful, embalming is a standard funeral service in modern times and modern embalming techniques can produce incredibly lifelike results. Embalming is performed in two stages - surgical and cosmetic - and while methods and materials can vary, the basic procedure remains the same; draining bodily fluids and replacing them with formaldehyde-based solutions.

1. Setting the face

Before the invasive procedure begins the deceased is washed down with disinfectant, and occasionally the limbs are massaged to reduce the effects of rigor mortis. The mouth is usually sewn or wired shut, and the mouth is stuffed with cotton wool to achieve the look of fuller cheeks. The eyes are stuck shut using special mortuary glue, or the mortician may stick a flesh-coloured cap behind the eyelid and glue it into place.

2. Surgical Embalming

The two main methods of surgical embalming are ‘arterial’ and ‘cavity’ embalming.

i) in arterial embalming, a special pump drains the blood from the body of the deceased while another pump circulates a chemical mixture through the emptied veins. The mixture usually contains a combination of formaldehyde, ethanol, water, and alcohol.

ii) in cavity embalming a small incision is made in the stomach of the deceased, and a thin instrument known as a trocar is inserted into the abdominal cavity. The trocar has a small claw attached to a suction pump, and the mortician uses the claw to puncture the organs and jellify them. The liquid is then suctioned out of the body and the cavity is filled with embalming chemicals.

3. Presentation

After the embalming procedure is completed the mortician may circulate a coloured dye through the bloodstream to fix discolouration and mottling. Since fluid has a tendency to leak all bodily orifices will be plugged discreetly with cotton wool. All visible injuries or blemishes will be patted over with coloured dye and covered up with cosmetics. A light-reflecting powder is applied on the face to give it lifelike fullness and a rosy blush gets rid of pallor or dark patches on the skin. After being washed again, the body will be dressed in his/her funeral suit and styled in accordance with the family’s wishes.

Stay

Originally posted by geezerwench

Originally posted by mrstane

Request: Imagine your Jax’s best friend and your back in town and he begs you to stay.


I decided to make this long instead of breaking it into parts, its 10,000+ words, let me know what you all think!

 Sorry I’m not writing as often,but please be patient and I’ll get there. Thank you for all your support. I hope you enjoy this. xx

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Jackson Nathaniel Teller get your ass back here right now!”
Jax froze midstep and hung his head whilst you fought to keep the smug smile off your face as you slowly crept forwards.
“You too, (Y/F/N), (Y/L/N)!”
A groan left your lips and slowly in sync, both of you turned to face the wrath of Gemma Teller.
She stood in the doorway of her house, hands on her hips, elbows out, and an angry flint in her eyes.
Jax sighed and nudged you with his elbow.
You exchanged a dreaded glance with him and together you walked towards his mother.
“Either of you little shits wanna tell me why i have three missed calls from the principal?”
Gemma said, her voice stern and her eyes burnt through the both of you.
Even on a good day, you knew better than to mess with Gemma, and today was definitely not a good day.
“It was nothing, Gem.” You said and fluttered your eyelashes pleadingly, hoping that your puppy-dog effect might rub off on her. Of course it didn’t work. This was Gemma Teller, after all.
Gemma raised her eyebrows at you and her gaze lingered on you before she glanced at her son.
“Jackson?”
Jax sighed and rubbed his hand through his thick blonde hair.
“It was nothing Ma. Just some kids getting smart. We handled it.”
Gemma stared him down with pursed lips till he looked at his feet and Gemma leant against the door frame, crossing her arms over her chest.
“Who threw the first punch?” She asked.
You looked at Jax and he met your eye before his infamous smirk spread across his lips.
“She did.” Jax said and nodded towards you.
His mother glanced you over and reached her hands towards you.
She grasped her hands either side of your face and leant close before pressing a kiss to your cheek.
“Good girl.” She said.
You grinned and Jax laughed beside you.
“Now get your ass home before I have your parents calling me too.”
You nodded and waved goodbye to Gemma.
Jax threw his arm over your shoulder and walked along side you as you walked down the driveway., the afternoon sun shining down on you between the trees.
“I told you she wouldn’t be mad.” Jax said and you scoffed and laughed.
“You think I was worried? You shoulda seen your face!” You teased and Jax laughed too.
Both of you walked along the pavement as the sun shined down on you, teasing each other and laughing as he walked you home.
Eventually you stopped outside your house and you could both see your father, peering out at you through the gap in the curtains.
You rolled your eyes and turned to Jax.
“See you tomorrow?”
“Me and Ope will pick you up.” He confirmed.
You nodded and smiled at your best friend and he smiled back, the same smile that made your heart swoon.
And you walked into your house, leaving a sixteen year old Jax Teller on the street, watching after you and hoping that maybe one day his best friend would be his old lady.

You had grown up in Charming, born and raised and you loved the little town and all its unique quirks.
The sun was always shining, the weather was always warm and the towns people were always smiling. Well, almost always..
It was the roar of motorcycles flooding down Main Street that changed their faces from happy and content smiles to disapproving frowns and glares.
The Sons of Anarchy had always done their part in Charming, helping out at fundraisers and the town knew they could rely on the club when times got tough. Yet they often seemed to forget that, and seemed to focus on the danger that emitted from them.
Your father was one of those people, and he had been furious the first day he saw Jax Teller and Opie Winston walk you home from school.
He had warned you your whole life to stay away from ‘boys like that’, and he had lived his whole life in fear of the Sons of Anarchy.
They were gunrunners, criminals, outlaws and killers and he didn’t want his precious daughter to be mixed up with such horrid people.
But when you were seven years old and the boys in your class had stolen your backpack and had been tossing it to each other while you cried, it had been Jax and Opie that had stopped them and made sure no one ever messed with you again.
And from that day on the three of you had been your own little gang.
Your father still didn’t approve and you weren’t sure he ever would, but you didn’t care.
Because when you were with them you didn’t feel like a little girl that couldn’t defend herself.
When you were with them you weren’t afraid of anything.
And you had grown to be tough and strong, after Gemma took you under her wing.
You didn’t have a motherly figure in your life after your mom had passed away and your father had never even dreamt of being with another woman. But Gemma showed you how to be a girl that no one would mess with and you would be eternally grateful to her for transforming you from an innocent lamb into a lioness.
It was only inevitable that you’d fall in love with Jax at some point.
He was carefree, the prince of Charming, and anywhere he walked he left a trail of chaos and girls practically drooling over him.
He was charming and funny, smart, caring, ridiculously handsome and confident and he was fiercely loyal.
You were close with Opie too, of course, but it was Jax that made your heart skip a beat and when he was around somehow you struggled to find words, as the thoughts of him filled your mind.
He was your best friend, the love of your life, the prince of Charming. And you, you were the Girl Next Door. Well, technically you lived down the street, but you knew you would never be good enough for him, that you’d never be his princess.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Your cheeks were stiff from dried tears and you stared at the sky, watching the sun slowly fade into the horizon.
Opie passed the joint to you and you took a long drag before passing it to Jax, who sat on the other side of you.
The three of you sat in silence, unsure of the right words to say.
Honestly you didn’t want them to say anything. You didn’t want anyone to say anything.
Nothing anyone said could change what had happened.
Your father was dead. You had been the one to find him, seated at the kitchen table, gun in his hand and a bullet hole through his head.
He had never really recovered after losing your mother and he had struggled raising you alone. Still, you never thought he would leave you. At least not like that anyway.
The smoke filled your lungs but your body remained numb.
And so the three of you sat in silence, on the concrete ledge of the roof of the funeral home, dressed all in black as you mourned the loss of your father.
Jax hadn’t left your side since you’d found your father, dead in the kitchen and you knew both himself and Opie had been uncomfortable, attending the funeral of your father, a man who had disapproved, no, hated them.
But they had decided to attend, to support their best friend.
Jax knew what it was like to lose a father and you were eternally grateful for his support.
They had stood either side of you as you read the passage in front of your fathers friends and family, and they had sat beside you while you sobbed over the freshly covered grave.
But now your tears had dried out and the reality was sinking in.
Your mother was gone, your father was gone, and you had no family left.
At least not in Charming.
That was why your Aunty was shipping you off, forcing you to move across the country to live with her.
“When do you leave?” Jax asked quietly, his voice breaking the silence.
You glanced at him and met his gaze, his blue eyes filled with sorrow.
“Tomorrow.” You whispered, your voice cracking slightly.
Jax nodded and wrapped his arm around your shoulder and you rested your head on his shoulder.
Opie squeezed your hand gently before standing and heading downstairs to find a drink, leaving the two of you alone.
For a while you sat in silence, his arm around you as you stared out at the horizon.
Everything seemed so fragile, so small. Every moment was fleeting, passing by and you weren’t sure if any of it really mattered anymore.
“I love you, (y/n).” Jax whispered.
A sad smile formed on your lips and you nodded against him.
“I know.” You whispered.
You knew he loved you, as a friend.
But even now, as you sat at your fathers funeral, the only thing you wanted was Jax. For him to love you as more than a friend.
But you were leaving.
And he was staying here.
The rest of the night you stayed on the roof, until the early morning and at some point you had fallen asleep, wrapped in each others arms. A perfect way to spend your last night in Charming, wrapped in the arms of the boy were hopelessly in love with.

8 YEARS LATER

“Back in black! I hit the sack, Ive been too long Im glad to be back.”
You sung at the top of your lungs as the music poured out of the speakers and your car sped along the familiar roads.
It was only fitting to play such a song as you drove, heading for the town you’d left so many years ago.
You never had made it back to Charming after you had left that morning so many years ago.
Something had always stopped you. Maybe the emptiness that filled your heart every time you thought of your father and the way he had passed, or the heartache you felt when you thought of Jax, imagining him with random girls.
You had no right to be jealous really, it had been eight years since you’d left and you’d kept in contact at first, but eventually you had drifted apart.
The last you heard was that Jax and Opie were prospecting, but it had been years since you’d heard from either of them and you wondered if they’d still be around,or  if they’d even remember you.
You thought about them often, remembering the mischief the three of you used to get up to. the nights you would spend staring up at the sky, or the afternoons you’d spend on the back of their bikes, speeding along the streets with the wind blowing in your hair.
But you had a new life now, a good job, a good apartment. You didn’t have a boyfriend but you didn’t particularly want one.
You were fiercely independent and you did well on your own. There was even talk of a promotion coming up and you knew you were in the perfect position for it.
It had taken you by surprise when you’d received the phone call from the council in Charming, informing you that the tenants of your fathers house had left it in a mess.
He had left you the house in his will and you had become the official owner when you turned 21, but back then the thought of returning to your hometown had been too painful, so you’re Aunt had helped you hire an agency and rent the property out.
But it was time to sell it. There was no point in leaving it with strangers when you could benefit from selling it. You could even use the money to buy your own house in the city, or open your very own business. It was time to move on.
And as you drove a mixture of emotions flooded through you.
Nerves, excitement, fear.
You didn’t know what to expect and one part of you was praying you would run into Jax, and reunite just like old times while the other part of you prayed you wouldn’t.
You knew he would have an old lady by now and you weren’t sure how you felt about it.
He would always be the one that got away, and you don’t think you could truly ever be over the feelings you had for Jackson Teller.
You car sped along the road and before you knew it you passed the familiar ‘Welcome to Charming’ sign.
The town hadn’t changed much and you drove through Main Street, eyeing the familiar shop fronts and the new ones too.
Charming certainly had a certain ‘charm’ about it and no matter where in the world you went, it would always be home.
You knew you couldn’t put it off much longer and you finally turned into the street on which you had lived so many years ago.
You drove past the picket fences and the perfectly trimmed hedges, the front lawns with kids playing outside, under the sprinklers as they laughed in the sun.
Your heart leapt into your throat as you drove past the Teller house and you couldn’t help but glance at the half dozen bikes parked out front.
You gulped and gripped the steering wheel til your knuckles turned white and you drove on and eventually you turned into the driveway of your fathers house.

Birds chirped outside the window and you groaned.
You never had been a morning person but last night you had gotten barely any sleep.
It was hard for you, to be back in this house and the memories had haunted you all night long. It still smelt the same. At least you thought it did and waves of nostalgia kept hitting you, desperate for a time when this was your home.
You sighed and rolled out of bed and rubbed your eyes before yawning and stretching your arms.
Of course, you hadn’t thought about bringing any home appliances with you.
You had only packed a few bags of clothes, unsure of how long you were intending to stay for.
But you’d forgotten that the house was empty, including no furniture, no cutlery, and no fucking coffee.
You rummaged through one of your bags and yanked out a towel and headed for the shower.
The local diner used to make the best coffee in town and you hoped that that was one thing that hadn’t changed over the years.
After a quick shower you tugged on your ripped skinny jeans and pulled an old band t-shirt over your head before shaking out your damp hair and letting it fall down your back.
There was no time for makeup, you needed coffee desperately so you grabbed your sunglasses and your keys and headed for your car.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The diner had kept its word; it still had the best coffee in town.
But honestly, it could have been the worst, you were too tired to notice. You only craved the hit caffeine.
The old woman behind the counter had remembered you and had insisted on feeding you a full breakfast, the Charming Classic, complete with two eggs, toast, hash browns, bacon, sausages, and grilled tomatoes.
By the time you’d finished your plate you could barely more, you were that full and you slid out of the booth before paying for your meal at the counter.
By now the sun was out and the heat hit you in the face as you walked out of the diner, the bell on the door chiming behind you.
The street was already alive with the hustle and bustle of the morning.
You glanced around the street and smiled to yourself as you looked over the hanging flowers and the store fronts. It was good to be home.
Across the street Jax pulled off his gloves and stuffed them into his pockets.
He lifted his hands, littered with rings and removed his helmet.
The wind blew his blonde hair and he slicked it back.
Chibs and Tig were to his left and Juice was to his right and they too removed their helmets and placed them on their bikes.
Main Street was already buzzing with people and Jax ignored the nervous yet curious looks coming from the locals.
He scanned the street, looking for Hale, when a girl caught his eye.
For a moment, his breath caught in his throat as he looked at her.
Her back was facing him and her hair hung loosely down her back. There was something about her, he felt like he knew her, but he needed her to turn around.
“Jax! Let’s go, brother.” Chibs called and Jax snapped back to attention.
“Yeah.” Jax said and stood straight.
He followed his brothers up the street but he couldn’t help but look back.
And as he did, the girl turned flashing her face only for a moment and Jax froze in place.
But almost as quickly as he saw her, she was gone, turning a corner into a store.
“You okay man? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” Juice asked with an eyebrow arched.
Jax swallowed and nodded slowly.
“Something like that.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ever since you were young you had always had a habit of twiddling your thumbs when you were nervous. That, and blinking your eyelashes like an idiot.
And right now your thumbs were going wild and you were practically chewing your bottom lip off. To say you were nervous was an understatement and you wanted to start your car, turn around and drive away from here.
But you couldn’t put it off any longer.
You knew deep down you wanted to see him, needed to see him.
But you were filled with dread, knowing that a man like Jackson Teller wasn’t going to be single.
You wanted desperately to see that smile once more but you weren’t sure if you could face his girlfriend. Or worse, his old lady.
You sighed and pulled the keys out of the ignition.
It was now or never.
Before you could change your mind you stepped out of your car and closed the door behind you.
Teller Morrow hadn’t changed much from what you remembered and you glanced around the lot, taking in the sight of it.
Several bikes were lined up and you gulped as you looked at them warily.
It wasn’t too late to turn around.
There weren’t any members outside, and no one had seen you yet.
You could just turn around and walk right out of here.
You were debating your options in your head and you barely noticed when a car pulled in behind you. It was only when the door slammed shut that you turned around.
Your heart leapt into your throat and you stared wide eyed at Gemma Teller.
She stood in her class in ensemble: jeans and a black low cut top, flashing her cleavage and her scar. Her dark hair framed her face and she wore her usual large sunglasses.
You watched her as she shifted her hand bag on to her shoulder. She hadn’t seen you yet, or recognised you at least and your heart was beating rapidly.
“Hey Gem.” You said.
You cursed yourself, knowing how nervous your voice sounded.
Gemma glanced at you and lifted her glasses on top of her head.
“Well well, long time no see.”
You smiled and Gemma walked towards you, arms open wide and you embraced her hug. She had always been the closest thing you had to a motherly figure after your mom died and you hadn’t realised quite how much you had missed her after all these years.
She smelt the same as she used to, perfume and cigarettes and you hugged her tightly.
“What are you doing here, sweetheart?” She asked you as you parted and she placed her hands on her hips.
You ran your hand through your hair and glanced around the lot.
“I’m selling dads house, so I’m back in town for a while.” You told her truthfully.
You hadn’t intended to stay more than a week, but you had missed this town and the more time you were spending here the less rush you were in to leave.
Gemma nodded as her eyes ran over you.
You were just a teenager when you left, awkward and rebellious. But now you were a fully grown woman and your body had definitely filled out. You had curves now, in all the right places and you looked a hell of a lot different to when you left. But your eyes were the same, always sparkling and you still had the familiar traits Gemma remembered.
You had broken her sons heart when you left and she knew you probably had no idea of the hurt you had caused that boy.
“Well lets go inside. I, for one, could use a drink.” She winked at you and you grinned back.
Gemma linked her arm through yours and together you walked towards the clubhouse.
You had seen the number of bikes outside and your heart was beating rapidly in your chest.
You weren’t sure what type of welcome to expect.
Gemma must have sensed your nerves and she squeezed your arm gently before pushing open the door.

The smell hit you almost instantly and you felt a wave of nostalgia wash over you.
Alcohol, ciggarettes, and cheap perfume were the essence of the Clubhouses very own signature fragrance and you breathed it in deeply.
Your eyes scanned the room, taking in sight the empty table and sofas and the empty bar.
“They’re in Church.” Gemma told you and you nodded.
You were thankful you weren’t walking into a room full of Sons but now your nerves were back, knowing it was only those wooden doors that separated you from Jax. This was his territory, his home, and you were invading it. You weren’t sure if he’d even want to see you, let alone have you in his clubhouse.
“You wanna beer?” Gemma asked you.
“Please.” You nodded and smiled, following her to the bar.
Your eyes continued to scan the room and you looked the wall of framed mugshots, standing proud.
A smile formed on your lips as you ran your eyes over the familiar faces, and the unfamiliar ones.
You saw Opie’s and you smiled, looking at the man he had grown into.
The other faces passed you by as you looked at each of the frames and you gulped once you found Jax’s photo, sitting proud beneath the wooden SAMCRO sign.
He hadn’t changed much at all really, although you weren’t sure how old this photo was.
But his hair was still long, and blond, and those blue eyes of his pierced through you. You could recognise those eyes anywhere.
“How longs it been?”
Gemma broke your thoughts and you turned back to her, accepting the beer she was holding out.
“Eight years.” You said.
“Lot of shits changed in eight years.” Gemma said.
You smiled and nodded.
“I know.” You told her. Gemma had always had a way with words and you couldn’t help but feel there was a famous Gemma Teller lecture on the way.
But instead, she surprised you.
“He misses you.”
You looked at her, her dark eyes watching you closely and you knew she wasn’t lying.
But before you could speak you heard a door open and you turned almost instantly.
You didn’t recognise the first man that entered the room, and surely if you had known him you would recognise that mohawk. But his soft face was unfamiliar and  you only recognised the kutte on his shoulders.
He nodded towards Gemma and looked at you curiously before moving into the room, the rest of the club filing in behind him.
“Holy shit!”
Opie practically ran across the room, nearly bowling his old man over in the process and you  moved towards him, unable to keep a grin off your face.
He wrapped his arms around you and swept you off your feet into a tight bear hug.
You laughed as he squeezed you and eventually he placed you back on the ground, where he towered over you.
“Look at you, Ope! Your huge!” You said teasingly and squeezed his large biceps.
He laughed loudly and nudged you.
“Never thought I’d see your face round here again.” Opie said, his tone still light yet the both of you knew how much he meant his words.
You shrugged his comment off and grinned up at your old friend.
It had been years since you’d seen Opie and except the beard he hadn’t seemed to change all that much. His eyes seemed tired, and you could tell he had seen pain but there was still that light that had been there so many years ago.
Silence fell between you but it wasn’t uncomfortable.
Eventually more men filled the room and you glanced around,  the butterflies simultaneously returning to your stomach.
And then you saw him.
He walked out of the clubhouse, his head hung low as he blew out a cloud of smoke and passed a joint back to one of his Brothers. He walked with the same kind of swag he walked with as a teen and your heart was almost beating out of your chest when he glanced up and met your gaze.
Blue eyes pierced through you and he froze for a moment, his mouth dropping open as he took in the sight of you.
The rest of the room could have been on fire and you wouldn’t have noticed, the only thing you were focused on was Jax.
Slowly, he began to move towards you, his eyes never leaving yours and you gulped.
Opie glanced between the two of you, sensing the nervous tension in the air and he chuckled lightly before shaking his head and walking to the bar, leaving you to reunite with Jax.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Hey.”
Your voice was brittle, nervous but just that one word echoed through him.
For years he had dreamt of this day, dreamt  that one day you would return, and you would stand in this club house once more.
But it had always been just a dream. Jax knew you would have no intention of coming back to this town that haunted you with memories and as you stood before him he fought desperately with his mind, begging for it not to be playing a trick on him.
Begging for this to be real.
He moved closer and his eyes only left yours to glance over your body quickly.
You but your lip nervously and you fluttered your eyelashes. Not in a flirtatious way, but in a way that you had always done when you were nervous.
“You gonna just stare at her?” Opies voice boomed from across the room, followed by laughter.
You laughed too and suddenly Jax knew he wasn’t dreaming.
A grin broke across his cheeks and suddenly his arms were around you, engulfing you entirely into his body.
He lifted you off the floor and squeezed you and you buried your face in his neck, letting his scent fill your lungs and you breathed him in.
Eventually he placed you back on the floor and he stepped back to look at you once more.
His grin never left his face and you stared into his eyes.
“Your back.” He spoke.
You nodded, your eyes never failing to leave his gaze.
“Ye ganna introduce the lass, Jackie?” A voice called from across the room and both of you glanced towards the man who spoke, his wide grin almost distracting you from the scars across his cheeks.
Jax laughed and threw his arm over your shoulder.
Together you walked towards the men.
Their faces were friendly yet curious to see what kind of girl could get both Opie and Jax to react like that.
Jax introduced you to his club, firing off a list of names you would have to ask him to repeat later on.
“And this is (y/n), an old friend.” Jax beamed and nudged you.
You couldn’t help a blush rising to your cheeks as you nodded to the smiling faces.
They welcomed you with cheers as they raised their beers in your direction.
“Come on, let me get you a drink.” Jax said and you followed him to the bar.
Gemma still sat, watching you with an amused look on her face and as Jax approached she stood, smoothing down her shirt and her jeans before pressing a kiss to her sons cheek.
“I’ll leave you two kids to it.” She said with a wink before sauntering off outside.
Jax chuckled and shook his head before passing you a beer and gesturing for you to sit.
You obliged and slid onto one of the barstools before taking a sip.
“So what brings you back here?” Jax asked, his haze falling bak onto you and he looked at you with furrowed brows.
You licked your lips as you placed your beer on the counter and swiped a loose strand of hair out of your face.
“I had some trouble with the tenants in dads old place, so I thought it was probably time to sell it on.” You said.
Jax nodded and took a swig of his beer.
“So your not staying?” He asked.
You shook your head and smiled sadly.
“I don’t think I could.” You said.
Jax studied you closely and he sensed the pain in your voice.
It was still a struggle for you, even after all these years to be back in a town that held such painful memories and that was clear to him. Yet he still couldn’t help feeling disappointed.
It didn’t seem fair that you would leave again, after only just coming back into his life after so many years.
But he nodded understandingly.
“How are you anyway? Couldn’t help but notice your kutte.” You said.
Jax laughed and glanced down at the Vice President patch on his leather and nodded.
“Yeah, its a new addition.” He said proudly.
You sat at the bar for a while, reminiscing on the old times with Jax and Opie joined you for a while before heading home to see his family.
Eventually though it was time for you to head home and you stood and smoothed down your hair.
Jax walked you out and neither of you spoke as you headed for your car.
The night air was crisp and cool and you shivered slightly in the breeze.
Jax noticed and put his arm around your waist, pulling you into his warmth as you walked.
“When do you leave?” Jax asked quietly.
You stopped in front of tour car and looked at him with a shrug.
“Im not sure. Maybe a couple of weeks.” You answered.
Jax nodded and leant against the car as you opened the door.
“You should come by the club tomorrow night. We’re having a party.” Jax said.
You smiled at him and nodded.
“I’ll try to make an appearance.” You winked and Jax smirked back at you.
“It was really good to see you, (y/n).” Jax said quietly.
“It was good to see you too, Jax.” You smiled back.
From the conversations you’d had with him tonight it seemed he was single, no old lady.
But you hadn’t exactly asked outright so you didn’t want tog et your hopes up. Yet you couldn’t help the feeling of hope that crept into your mind.
It was silly, of course. You were leaving. But you couldn’t help but want Jax to feel the same way, and you wanted nothing more than to reach out and touch him.
But you didn’t.
Instead, you slid into the seat of your car, waved goodbye to Jax and drove away.
And just like he had all this years ago, Jax watched you drive off. Only this time he felt something had changed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was past 9pm by the time you got home the next day and after fumbling with your keys and flicking the lights on you dumped the load of paperwork onto the floor.
Who knew selling a house would be such a pain in the ass.
You had spent all day with a real estate agent, going over the property and discussing the market.
You had been grumpy all day, after getting barely any sleep yet again, and the last thing you wanted to do was get dressed and go to a SAMCRO party.
You walked around the living room and drew the curtains before sitting on the floor in the middle of the room and opening the carton of chinese food you had bought in the way home.
It probably wasn’t a good idea for you to go to the party anyway, you thought to yourself.
You were only in town to sell this damned house and it would only be a couple of weeks before you left again. It had been nice, seeing Jax again after yearning for him for so long.
But who were you kidding?
He wouldn’t feel the same way, especially not after so many years. And you were leaving.
There was no point in getting attached when it would just hurt more when you had to say goodbye again.
No, you would stay home. On the floor of an empty house eating chinese food.
You’d also bought a bottle of wine and you left the food on the floor as you walked to your bag and rummaged through it to find the bottle.
You pulled it out proudly, almost as if it was a newborn child, and you didn’t bother looking for glasses. You knew there was none.
So you opened the bottle and took a long gulp of wine.
Tonight you would enjoy your own miserable company.

You woke to a loud pounding on the door and you groaned as the room focused in front of you.
It was dark and you rubbed your eyes.
After drinking the bottle of wine and finishing your chinese, at some point you had passed out on the floor of the living room.
The pounding continued and you stumbled to your feet.
“Im coming!” You yelled. What time was it? The sun wasn’t up so it must be late, you thought.
Eventually you made your way to the front door and you swung it open.
Jax stood in the door way, the dark night illuminated by the moon shining down behind him.
“Good morning.” He said with a coy smirk on his face, as he glanced over your rumpled skirt and messy hair.
“What the fuck Jax? What time is it?” You asked and stifled a yawn.
“3.15.” He answered.
You groaned and leant against the doorway and wrapped your arms around yourself.
“What are you doing here?” You asked.
Gradually you began to wake up more and you suddenly felt self conscious under his gaze.
You were still dressed in your business skirt and shirt and your hair was a mess.
“You didn’t come to the party.” Jax answered. He glanced behind you, into the empty  house and noticed the bottle of wine and the empty food carton on the floor.
“Yeah, sorry Jax. I got home late.” You explained.
He nodded.
“Wanna go for a ride?”
“Its three in the morning Jax.” You groaned.
Hr laughed loudly and looked at you through his eye lashes as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a cigarette.
“Never stopped you before,” He winked.
You sighed and stood straight.
“Let me get changed.” You said before shutting the door ad leaving him in the night as you walked to your bedroom.
What were you doing? You thought to yourself. You had not gone to that party to stay away from Jax. You didn’t want to complicate things. And here he was, on your doorstep in the middle of the night.
You pulled off your skirt and tugged on a pair of jeans before ripping iff your blouse and rummaging through your bags for a sweater.
Its just one ride. You told yourself, desperately trying to convince yourself that this wasn’t a bad idea.
Quickly you tugged on some socks and your boots before walking back to the front door.
You knelt by your bag and pulled out your keys before walking tot he front door, opening and closing it behind you.
The night was crisp and the faint smell of tobacco filled the air as Jax leant against his bike, puffing on  his cigarette.
The moonlight shone down on him and even in this light he was ridiculously handsome.
You locked the door and slid the keys into your pocket and as you approached him Jax tossed his cigarette to the ground.
He held out a helmet and you took it before tugging it down onto your head and buckling the strap.
You watched as he swung his leg over and sat on his bike before looking back at you, a mischievous spark in his eyes.
You couldn’t help the grin spreading over your face as you placed your hands on his shoulders and swung your leg over the bike and sinking down behind him.
You shifted your hands to bis waist and you clutched at the leather as he brought the bike to life, the loud roar ripping through the quiet night.
Jax turned back to you and you nodded, reassuring him.
Slowly you rolled out of your driveway and you wrapped your arms tighter around his waist and pressed your face against his back, leaning your body with his as he turned the corner.
Gradually his speed increased as you moved through your street and into the open roads and you let the scent of his leather fill your lungs.
The streets blurred past you as the bike roared through the night and you held on toJax tightly.
Maybe this wasn’t such a bad idea after all.

After an hour or so Jax pulled into a wooded area and rode slowly through the trees.
The track was familiar to you; it was where he used to bring you when you were young.
The area was surrounded by looming trees but it cleared out into a small opening and you had spent countless nights here, getting drunk with Opie and Jax, or simply lying on the ground and staring up at the stars.
The trees began to clear and Jax pulled the bike to a stop before killing the engine.
You swung your leg over first and lifted the helmet from your head before shaking your hair out and handing it back to Jax.
“This place hasn’t changed.” You said quietly. Your voice sounded delicate in the quiet of the night.
You couldn’t hear the roads from here, and the only sounds were the distant noises of animals and the light wind rustling through the leaves.
Jax followed you as you stepped over the grass and moved into the middle of the clearing, looking up through the opening in the trees and looking at the stars.
It was just as beautiful as you remembered.
You sat on the ground and Jax sat next to you.
Neither of you spoke for a while. You sat content in each others silent company.
“Why did you never come back?”
His words broke the silence and you struggled with your answer.
You glanced down at your hands in your lap and twiddled your thumbs.
“I couldnt.” Was all you said.
Jax nodded slowly and you sighed.
“It was too hard for me. After dad died I just couldn’t bare to bring myself back here.” You told him truthfully. “I was scared.”
You looked back up at the stars and admired their beauty.
“Did you want to? Come back?” Jax asked.
You turned to him and he met your gaze. Even in the dark light his blue eyes shone brightly and you smiled sadly.
“Everyday.” You whispered.
Jax studied you closely.
He reached his hand out and squeezed yours gently. The moment his hand touched yours you felt sparks shooting through your body.
His eyes locked on yours and he moved closer slightly. You weren’t sure if your heart had ever beat faster than it did in this moment.
As your heads slowly moved closer together you noticed everything about him. You noticed the slight speck of green in his blue eyes, barely big enough to notice. You noticed the small scar on his cheek and for a moment you wondered how he got it. You wanted to know everything about his life since you left,you wanted to know everything about this man that was right in front of you. But more than anything you wanted to feel his lips on yours.
Gradually his head moved closer to yours and you could feel the heat of his breath on your lips. You licked you lips nervously and glanced at his before looking back into his eyes.
Just as the loaning became almost unbearable Jax’s lips pressed against yours and the warmth of his mouth sent currents running through your body.
Your hands reached out and held either side of his face as his wrapped around your body and you whimpered slightly as his mouth moved in sync with yours.
Your lips moved in harmony with his and you ran your fingers through his thick hair, desperately clinging to him.
His mouth grew hungrier and he kissed you more fiercely now,exploring your mouth with his tongue. You could taste the cigarette and whiskey on his lips.
He gently pulled your body down till you were lying and he hovered his body over yours.
You opened your legs and Jax lay between them, his groin pressing against yours and you moaned softly at the weight of him on top of you.
Both of your breathing became more rapid as you made out on the grass like a couple of horny teenagers.
His fingers traced down your body and he gently slid them beneath your shirt and you whimpered softly as the coolness of his rings mixed with the warmth of your skin.
For a moment your lips parted and Jax smirked down at you before tracing his lips down your neck.
You arched your neck for him, allowing him to suck gently at your soft skin and you moaned once more.
His fingers traced further up your body and he cupped your breasts through the fabric of your bra.
You moaned and squirmed beneath him and Jax smirked as he lifted to his knees and tugged your shirt over your head.
Your hair splayed out around you messily and you looked at him through thick eye lashes.
A blush rose to your cheeks as he admired your body and gingerly you sat up and reached behind you to unclip your bra.
You met his gaze as you let the fabric fall from your skin and you tossed it onto the ground beside you before leaning back onto your eyebrows.
Jax licked his lips as his eyes explored your bare chest, and he was amazed that you could be covered in dirt and sweat and still smell and look like the best thing he’d ever seen, and he didn’t waste much time before leaning back over you.
He pressed a kiss to your lips once more before trailing them down your neck and across your chest.
Hr sucked gently as he moved, leaving a faint trail of bruises from your collarbone to your nipple.
You moaned as his tongue licked around your nipple and he sucked gently.
Jax growled at the sound of your whimpering beneath him and an urgency came over him.
His lips sucked rougher around your nipple now and his fingers fumbled with the button of your jeans.
Your fingers were in his hair, tugging at the strands gently.
Once he got your jeans unbuttoned he tugged them down your thighs quickly followed by your panties. He wasted no time in removing his own clothes and he hovered over you once more, his lips exploring your with an urgent hunger.
Your lips moved with his and you felt his fingers stroke through your wet folds and you opened your legs slightly wider, enjoying the feel of his hard cock on your inner thigh.
He works you with his fingers expertly, knowing just how to make you shudder and moan his name into the night.
He moves his fingers against you til your on the verge of your release when he stops and slides himself inside you, his hands moving to hold you by the hips gently.
He fills you slowly and you both moan as you stretch around him.
Slowly he rocks his hips against yours and it doesn’t take long til your begging for more.
His thrusts became rougher and harder and with each move he leaves you breathless.
The night is filled with the sound of your moans and his growls and his skin slapping against yours.
When you cum you scream his name as your walls clench around him and Jax growls as he finds his release, his hot seed filling you.
He slows his movements and gently slides out of you before collapsing to the ground beside you.
Both of you are panting heavily and he reaches for your hand, intertwining his fingers with yours as you both catch your breath and stare up at the stars.

You pressed your cheek to his leather as he rode through the night, your fingers clutching at the leather around his waist.
You couldn’t quite explain the mixture of emotions that ran through your body as you rode.
Making love with Jax had been everything and more than you could have ever imagined and you were still coming down from that high.
You had both laid beneath the stars for a while, lying naked on the grass.
Jax had helped you dress yourself and plucked leaves from your ruffled hair.
Neither of you had spoken much, but it wasn’t awkward or uncomfortable.
And as you drove closer back into town the reality of what had happened began to hit you in waves.
As the wind swept your hair out behind you a tear rolled down your cheek and you didn’t bother to wipe it away.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Are you sure about this, (y/n)?” Your real estate agent asked you.
You rolled your eyes and smiled at him from across the desk.
“For the millionth time, I’m sure.” You told him.
“We could get more for the property if you wait til the report comes back. It wont take more than a week.” He told you, a hint of concern in his voice.
“I know, Jeremy. But I need the house sold, like now.”
“Alright, whatever you say (y/n).” Jeremy said and shuffled the papers on the desk.
“I’ll get the ads up and the paperwork sent off right away.”
You smiled and stood, smoothing down your skirt.
“Thank you.”
Jeremy stood too and walked towards the door of his office before opening it for you.
You lifted your handbag off the chair next to you and swung it on to your shoulder.
“I’ll be round this afternoon to put the ‘For Sale’ signs up.” Jeremy told you.
You smiled and thanked him before walking past him and out of the office.
As you walked you felt your handbag vibrate and you sighed as you pulled out your cell phone.
He was trying to call you, again.
You hit ignore.
That makes it eight missed calls from him. Since you’d woken.
You’d lost count of the amount of times you’d hit ‘ignore’ to Jax’s calls in the last few days.
The last thing you needed was to hear his ‘we’re better off as friends’ speech.
So you saved him the bother and you’d been ignoring his calls ever since he’d left your house that night.
The next morning you’d woken and headed straight to the office,determined to get the house sold, and get the hell out of Charming.
You tossed your phone back into your bag and continued walking to your car.
You fumbled with the keys and eventually unlocked your door.
After sliding in and sticking the keys in the ignition you wound down the windows and turned the radio on, letting the music fill the air.
Your car pulled out of its park and you drove along the street before stopping at a red light.
Seconds past and thats when you heard it.
You could always hear them before you saw them and you gulped and gripped the wheel.
In a matter of seconds a dozen bikes sped past you and you recognised each member that passed.
None of them saw you, however and you were glad.
But that still didnt stop your heart almost beating out of your chest as Jax sped past you followed by his brothers.
Finally the light turned green and you drove on.
You needed to get out of this town, and quick.

The rest of the day passed quickly.
You had spent your time doing touch-ups on the property after you had bought some paint down town, and a camp chair too, so now at least you had something to sit on.
Paint splatters covers your grey tank and speckled your cheeks but you didn’t care. The only person you were seeing today was Jeremy, and he had just left after erecting the ‘For Sale’ sign on the front lawn.
You were lucky he put up with you, really. He had your best intentions at heart and wanted you to get the best price for your fathers property.
But money was the last of your concerns. You just wanted it sold.
So you had argued and argued and finally he had agreed to put the ads out at a generously reduced price.
The house was a steal.
It wasn’t in the greatest of conditions but for the price you were asking for, you knew the buyer wouldn’t care.
A bargain.
You heard a knock on the door faintly over the blasting noise of your music.
A frown came to your lips and you knelt, resting your pain brush on top of the bucket.
You hadn’t heard any bikes pull up yet you still didn’t feel completely relieved.
Its probably just Jeremy. You told yourself as you walked through the house.
You quickly turned the volume down on your portable speakers and walked to the door.
As you reached for the handle you wiped your hair out of your face and swung it open.
It wasn’t Jeremy.
It was Gemma fucking Teller.
She stood leaning against the wall, her oversized sunglasses framing her face.
You sighed when your saw her pursed lips and you crossed your arms over your chest.
“What do you want, Gemma?” You asked.
She would have to be deaf to not hear the attitude in your voice and she raised her eye brows at you.
She paused before speaking, taking in your messy bun and your paint splattered face and clothes.
“That how you answer the door to all your visitors?” She asked coolly.
“Only the ones I don’t wanna see on my doorstep.” You bit back.
You had no right to be so catty, really. Gemma had done nothing wrong, and neither had Jax. It was you that had cut all contact yet you still felt irritated having her turn up like this and you knew she was about to give you one of her famous lectures.
She smirked slightly at your words and lifted her sunglasses, letting them sit on her head.
“There a reason you’ve been avoiding phone calls?” She asked you, her dark eyes watching you closely.
“Been busy.” You shrugged.
Gemma sighed and stepped closer.
“Listen here, missy. I don’t know what happened between you and Jackson. But you have no right to turn up in this town after all these years and break his heart all over again.”
You glared at her but she didn’t budge.
“You owe him an explanation at least. Dint you dare leave town without telling him exactly why you came back just to rip his heart out.”
Her words cut through you like ice but you didn’t let her see it.
Instead you sighed and rolled your eyes.
“Get off my porch, Gemma.”
She looked you over once more before pushing off the wall and turning her back.
She took two steps before she stopped.
“He loves you. Remember that.” She said over her shoulder before walking down the steps towards her car.
You closed the door quickly and pressed your back against it, looking around the empty room.
Fucking Gemma Teller and her fucking lectures.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two days had passed since Gemma had turned up at your front door, and it had been a week since that night with Jackson.
You sat alone in the diner, staring at the plate of food in front of you, poking it gingerly with your fork.
The phone calls had become less frequent but they hadn’t stopped, yet you still hadn’t found the courage to answer any of them. Not even Opies calls.
“Something wrong with the food, darlin?”
You glanced up and saw the waitress standing by the booth, a look of her concern on her face as she looked at the plate of food in front of you, untouched.
“Not at all. Just not as hungry as I thought.” You told her and smiled warmly.
She smiled back at you and left you to your own misery.
You sighed and left the fork on the table, resting your chin in your hand and your elbow on the table and you glanced into the street.
Even at night time Chamring still had a certain spark about it.
The streets, illuminated with street lights and neon signs in windows, the smell of fried food filling the streets.
Gemma was right, of course. You knew you couldn’t leave with out talking to him.
You didn’t even really know why you were ignoring him at all.
Someone had placed an offer on the house today and Jeremy had called you excitedly, knowing your be glad to hear of the progress. But you hadn’t been.
The offer was more than you were asking for yet you couldn’t bring yourself to go down to the office and sign off on the papers.
There was something you had to do first.
You sighed and slid out of the booth and after tossing a twenty dollar tip on the table you left the diner.
You had driven down but you didn’t head to your car.
It was only a short walk to TM,and you could use the time to figure out exactly what you were going to say.

The walk had been a good idea, giving you a chance to clear your mind and as you walked into the TM lot a wave of confidence washed over you.
You saw the row of bikes lined up and the light filling the lot from the open doors of the garage.
Music pumped through the walls of the clubhouse,but it wasn’t loud enough to signify a SAMCRO party, which you were relieved about.
As you walked silently into the lot you could hear the faint banter and smell of weed and almost instantly the nerves returned.
No one had seen you yet, and you knew it wasn’t to late to turn around.
But you couldn’t bring yourself to stop your feet from moving and gradually you turned the corner to the picnic table.
Jax sat with his back facing you, but you could recognise his blond hair anywhere.
Opie sat beside him and opposite them sat Juice and Tig.
All of them talking amongst themselves, puffing on cigarettes and joints and sipping on beers ad whiskey.
You fumbled with your fingers.
Juice spotted you out of the corner of his eye and he turned to you, smiling warmly.
Eventually they all saw Juice looking at something and all of them turned.
You felt so small, so fragile when those blue eyes fell on you and for a moment you forgot you weren’t alone.
Silence fell and Jax closed his mouth tightly.
The rest of the men stood and Juice and Tig headed inside, nodding to Jax.
Opie walked to you and kissed your cheek before heading inside, leaving you alone with Jax.
He turned his back to you and took a long swig of his beer.
You forced your feet to move and you slowly walked towards the table before sliding onto the bench opposite him.
Jax took a long drag of his cigarette, and you watched him blow it out.
He still didn’t look at you or say anything and you twiddled your thumbs in your lap.
“How are you?” You asked quietly.
Almost instantly you regretted saying anything at all.
Jax glanced at you with a raised brow.
“How am I?” He repeated.
You blushed and gulped, unsure of how to respond.
Jax scoffed and rubbed his hand across his face.
“Jesus Christ, (y/n). What are you doing here?” He asked you. There was a coldness to his tone and you shuddered slightly.
“I.. I thought we should talk.” You said quietly.
“Now you wanna talk? I tried calling you. A million fucking times. But now you wanna talk?” Jax snarled now and you could definitely sense the anger radiating off him.
You stood and dropped your hands.
“This was a mistake.” You said.
“Typical. You cant keep running forever, (y/n).” Jax said.
You had only taken a few steps when he spoke and you stopped.
“I shouldn’t have come back.” You said and Jax spun in his seat.
His nostrils were flared and you knew he was angry.
“So why did you?” He asked and he stood.
“You know why.” You told him and you felt tears rising behind your eyes.
“No. I don’t know. You could have sold the house from the city. We both know that. So why’d you come back? Why now?” He stepped closer to you, narrowing the gap between you and you stepped back.
You didn’t know how to answer him.
“It doesn’t matter why, Jax. The house sold. Im leaving again, so you can just pretend this never happened.” It wasn’t exactly a lie. You had an offer on the house, all you had to do was sign it over.
Jax scoffed and shook his head before looking at you once more.
His blue eyes were filled with fire and you shuddered under his gaze.
“So thats it, huh? Your just gonna forget about me and you?!” Jax snarled, his voice rising.
You stepped back once more and your back hit the wall.
“I could never forget about you, Jackson.” You spat back.
He smirked evilly and moved closer, placing his hands on the wall either side of your head.
“So what, you just wanna fuck me and leave, huh?”
You gulped and glared at him.
“Atleast you got what you wanted.” Jax snarled and turned, walking away from you.
You clenched your fists.
“Fuck you!” You screamed. God, it made you angry that he was right. You had treated him like shit all these years, and especially this week.
Jax shook his head and continued walking.
“You wanna know why it took me so long to comeback?” You yelled.
Finally he turned back to face you and you stepped closer to him, your body shaking with emotion.
“Because I fucking love you, you idiot!” You yelled. “I was so fucking terrified that if I came back you would have moved on, that you’d have an old lady. And i knew I wouldn’t be able to handle that. And yeah, maybe I shouldn’t have fucked you the other night. But i thought id do you the favour of ending things with me. We both know I cant stay here!”
Jax stared at you, his mouth slightly open.
You breathed heavily, and you had never felt more vulnerable that you did right in that moment.
“What did you say?” Jax asked slowly.
You scoffed ad turned around.
“Forget it Jax. I’ll be out of town by the end of the week.”
Your footsteps were rapid as you walked away from him and you didn’t hear him call after you.
Suddenly though, you heard heavy footsteps behind you and before you could react he grabbed your wrist and spun your body to face him.
His hand gripped your face and he crashed his lips against yours.
For a moment you let him in, let him kiss you so desperately.
But you quickly came to your senses and you shoved him away from you with all your force.
“I love you.” He said quietly.
You froze, only your eyes moving to meet his.
“What?” You whispered.
“God, (y/n), I love you. I have since you left.” Jax said.
A tear escaped your eye and you let it roll gently down your cheek.
“It broke my heart when you left. And Ive been with other women, lots of them. But every women I have ever been with, I have seen you. Its always been you.”
His words echoed in your ears and you stared at him as tears rolled down your cheeks.
You stepped closer to him and he reached his hand out, letting his finger gently wipe away the tears.
“I cant lose you again.” Jax whispered.
His blue eyes glistened with his own tears and you gulped before you stepped closer and reached up to kiss his lips.
“The house didn’t sell. I only got an offer.” You told him truthfully.
Jax grinned and shook his head slightly. He reached his hand out and swept your hair behind your ear before holding your face gently, his thumb stroking your cheek.
“Dont sell it.” He told you. “Stay here, in Charming.”
“Ive got a job Jax, and an apartment-“
“So quit. We’ll find you work here. Please, (y/n), I cant lose you again.”
You looked into his eyes and saw the hurt you had caused him all these years, the begging.
Slowly, you nodded.
“Okay.”
Jax grinned and pressed his lips against yours.
“I love you, (y/n).  I really love you.”
You grinned back at your best friend, the love of your life.
“I love you too, Jax.”


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Sorry if theres any grammar or spelling mistakes, i can never be bothered editing and my phone loves to auto correct so if it doesn’t make sense i apologise.

Hope you liked this!