Omfg sooooo the one woman w/ the rush bag was here again this week & I was just awkwardly lurking on her end of the pool & she started making small talk with me while my hell brain was still trying to dredge up a basic greeting & I legit ended up blushing so much I had to hold my flutterboard in front of my face. someone end me I’m such a creep
“These animals, which are commonly called "peanut worms” because some have the general shape of shelled peanuts, are not particularly well studied. Only about 320 species have been formally described, all marine and mostly from shallow waters.“
Unlike this one!
It’s a variant of the good ol’ Legacy dredge deck, but much more ridiculous. You mill Narcomoebas and flash back Dread Return, but the process of getting there is unfathomably silly and dubiously legal.
The combo goes like this:
Play Mesmeric Orb.
Play Basalt Monolith.
Tap and untap Basalt Monolith an arbitrary number of times to gleefully mill yourself, with a legendary Eldrazi in the deck to shuffle it all back in eventually.
Now here’s the catch:
There is no guarantee that you’ll get the right set of combo pieces in the graveyard before the Eldrazi shuffles it back in.
You need to get at least three Narcomoebas in play, and your graveyard will need all of these things sitting in it:
Sharuum the Hegemon
From there, you flash back Dread Return to reanimate Sharuum, which brings back Blasting Station. Tap it to sacrifice a Narcomoeba for damage, twiddle the Monolith some more to get an Eldrazi in the graveyard to shuffle it back in, mill yourself some more, get the Narcomoeba out again for 1 more damage, and so on.
Here’s the thing: you could theoretically spend hours going through the mill-and-reshuffle loop before you get all of these things in the graveyard. Since it’s random every time, you can’t just say, “I do this loop and theoretically, in the future, it will work out.” The deck is in a gray area with the rules, and even now its “slow-play violation” status is in dispute.
The best part is, the deck isn’t even that good. It folds to all the graveyard hate that affects Dredge decks, and you’re screwed if any of the singleton combo pieces are hit with Surgical Extraction or anything like that.
I’m tempted to proxy it up and take it to FNM, but I don’t want to be especially evil.
So, if you all have noticed, I really love the game Guild Wars 2. So much that I have a side blog dedicated to it, where I’ve had an ongoing series of NPC ideas. But it feels like a shame to have them all over where no one can see them, so here they are!
Yevipraksiya is a Dredge who joined the Pact, disagreeing with the xenophobic views of the Dredge Commissars and their idea of “revolutionary tactics”. She now works as a technician and cultural advisor for the Pact, speaking of issues concerning her race and how to communicate the prospect of alliance.
Thursday is the best day of the week for one reason: Magic Club. The University of Delaware has a registered student organization just for magical gatherings. The club has a casual atmosphere, but there are a few players who are more up to date on the competitive side of things.
I was talking to AJ, one of the most avid grinders at the club. The conversation started with him berating my dredge list that didn’t play dedicated dread return targets main board. He saw my list and figured that I was cutting the non-troll fatties because I thought these cards were crutches. After we discussed how terrible that argument is, I explained my real rationale (more on this later).
The conversation warped from the flaw of the phrase “it’s just a crutch” to “play the best version of what you are playing.” Here is where I realized that My American Ravings list was fundamentally flawed.
The flaw hinged on the namesake card. Desperate Ravings is just not as good as forbidden alchemy. It is that simple. Alchemy is one of the best cards in the set, what was I doing playing a deck that took advantage of end of turn draw spells without playing this card? Playing and flashing back Ravings will draw you 2 cards, and randomly loot two more card. That’s up two cards after losing 2 cards at random. Alchemy will see 8 cards, draw you 2, and you get to see what cards go to the bin. Huge difference.
The burn spells were just too cute. After tuning the deck a little more I decided that day is the better mass removal spell. With the slag storms gone the “burn you out” plan got a little worse. I found myself trading snapcasters and brimstone volleys for big creatures that would have killed my otherwise. The games where the army of 2/2 cats needed burn to seal the deal were few and far between. The cats would eventually be enough, or you lost. In such a cut and dry situation it was wrong for me to keep trying to go deep with makeshift lava axes.
I was playing a bad red draw engine, and bad red removal. Time to pick up the colors the big boys are playing. I give you the next white sun zenith deck:
1 Darkslick Shores
2 Seachrome Coast
2 Nephalia Drownyard
4 Drowned Catacomb
4 Isolated Chapel
4 Glacial Fortress
4 Snapcaster Mage
2 White Sun’s Zenith
1 Go for the Throat
1 Timely Reinforcements
1 Tribute to Hunger
1 Blue Sun’s Zenith
2 Day of Judgment
3 Oblivion Ring
3 Doom Blade
4 Mana Leak
4 Forbidden Alchemy
4 Think Twice
SB: 2 Purify the Grave
SB: 3 Azure Mage
SB: 2 Sword of Feast and Famine
SB: 2 Divine Offering
SB: 1 Witchbane Orb
SB: 2 Celestial Purge
SB: 1 Flashfreeze
SB: 1 Timely Reinforcements
SB: 1 Day of Judgment
Same basic principal as the decks I have been playing in this format. Out draw your opponent, don’t tap out, kill em with instant threats, and have the best snapcaster mages.
The deck and board seem very intuitive. Only weird card is blue sun zenith. It allows you to outdraw your opponents, and even kill them after the drownyards go to town on your opponent’s deck. I don’t know if I like my removal package yet. The format is really stretching instant speed removal out thin. Tributes has its moments, and dismember kills turn 1 dork, but both get laughed at by grave titan. It could be right that doom blade is just the best choice. I’m going to fumbling around with the removal numbers.
This is the deck I would have played in states today, if I could have attended. It has decent agro matchups, dominates control mirrors, and can stop wolf run pretty well.