dreams awake

honestly think i experienced a Significant Moment earlier… like time slowed down, it was very distinct!! like a dream, except i was awake. you know how 2 minutes in a dream can be really hyperdetailed and slow, even though there’s nothing actually happening??? you just perceive (or remember) individual meaningless events in a string?? that was what this was!! so weird.

i was running late to meet a friend and was waiting at a crosswalk for the light to change even though there were no cars nearby. the first drops of rain were starting to come down and i was idly watching two crows fight on a streetlight. there was a really deep bark and i looked over to see this huuuge wolfhound in front of the health food store. a woman came up to me looking extremely harried and asked me what time it was. i checked my phone and told her it was 4:01 exactly. she swore and hurried off down the street. the light changed and i walked across the intersection.

anyway me n the friend are grading together now and things seem normal but if i wake up in some kind of groundhog day loop tomorrow im going to be very upset

the signs as love prompts

Aries: “i have night conversation with the moon, she tells me about the sun and i tell her about you.”

Taurus: “i want to be with you till my last page.”

Gemini: “any day spent with you is my favorite day.”

Cancer: “thinking of you keeps me awake. dreaming of you keeps me asleep. being with you keeps me alive.”

Leo: “hold my hand and i’ll go anywhere with you.”

Virgo: “in the room full of art, i’d still look at you.”

Libra: “you are my today and all of my tomorrows.”

Scorpio: “when i’m with you, hours feel like seconds. when we’re apart, days feel like years.”

Sagittarius: “i broke my rules for you.”

Capricorn: “years from now, i hope we are still in each others lives.”

Aquarius: “i don’t know what colour is your soul but it’s a beautiful colour.”

Pisces: “i’m tired but never of you.”

The day you become aware of your idiocy, the day you are aware that you are an idiot, your idiocy will start dissolving, because that awareness will bring you out of it. Idiocy is unconsciousness; it will start dissolving with awareness.

Psychologists say that a madman will become alright if he realizes that he is mad. A mad person never knows that he is mad, he thinks that the world is mad.

Kahlil Gibran has written that one of his friends became mad, so he went to visit him in the mental asylum. The friend was sitting on a bench in the garden of that asylum. Gibran sat down near him and said, “I am very sorry to see you here.”

The friend looked carefully at Gibran and said, “Sorry for what?”

Gibran replied, “To see that you had to come to this mental asylum.”

That mad friend started laughing and said, “You are mistaken. Since I have come here I have found the company of sane people. Outside all of them are insane; I am fortunate to get rid of them. You think this is the mental asylum? No, the mental asylum is outside these walls. Only a very few wise people live here.”

An insane person cannot understand that he is insane. If he had that much understanding he would not have gone insane. If he understands that he is insane, then insanity will disappear.

If at night in your sleep you realize that you are dreaming, then the dreaming will stop. To dream it is necessary that you do not remember that you are dreaming. In the morning you will remember it when the dream is over. As long as you are dreaming it will seem real to you. But if right in the middle of the dream you remember that this is a dream, it will be over.

Gurdjieff used to tell his disciples that before breaking big dreams they should learn how to break small dreams. This big world is an illusion, a big dream; you cannot break it till you break the small dreams. How can you stop the day-dream when you cannot stop the night-dream? So Gurdjieff used to tell his disciples that while going to sleep at night they must go on reminding themselves that whenever they start dreaming, at once they must remember that this is a dream. It takes about three years to break the night dreaming. For three years continuously, every night while going to sleep, if you go on thinking, contemplating, meditating on this thought then that moment comes - that fortunate moment - when suddenly you remember that this is a dream. And this remembrance breaks the dream and consciousness even enters the sleep. From that moment dreaming stops.

Then there is no more dreaming.

Only after this you can wake up in the big dream - this dream of the open eyes is the big dream.

The night dreaming is personal, private - alone. It is absolutely private. A husband cannot call even his wife into his dream. Even a friend cannot call a friend into his dream. This dreaming is alone; nobody else can participate in this dream.

But this big dream is collective, public. It is very difficult to break it because it is not only yours, it is everybody’s, collective and joint. But if the first dream breaks, then that remembrance can break this dream also. That remembrance is enough. Even while awake one should be able to remember that this is a dream. Just think, if somebody has cursed you or called you names and you remember that this is a dream, then it will be impossible for you to lose your temper. If anything valuable of yours breaks and you remember that this is only a dream, you will not be unhappy. If your wife or husband or son dies, then it will be difficult to remember that this is all a dream, but if you can do so then your agony will disappear.

The person who has realized that this is a dream becomes a buddha, a jinna; neither death nor life is able to waver him. Happiness, then, does not seem like happiness to him and unhappiness does not seem unhappiness. This is the ultimate wisdom: neither happiness nor agony affects you!

—  Osho
I wish my eyes weren’t made of glass and my veins weren’t full of venom. I wish I could stop dreaming when I’m awake. I hope someday I can love and live without feeling sick.
—  /Emily