dreamerdreamingonadream

FINALLY!!!

This morning I decided to check my DACA application online and I finally saw that I have been approved! Of course it would get approved on the day I didn’t check it, which was yesterday.  When I checked it today I really wasn’t even expecting it to have been approved just because every other time I checked it it was always at initial review.  So now I have to wait until I get the letter in the mail saying I was approved.  I’m so excited! it doesn’t feel any different right now but I know that once I get the actual work permit card and then get my social it’ll feel surreal because I’m so used to being undocumented and knowing that I now have legal papers it’ll feel different.  I hope that I can get at least a permit soon since I have to wait until I’m 19 to get my license which is fine since I’m in no rush due to the fact that I know I or my parents wouldn’t be able to afford a car right now or any time soon. I’m just really happy my time has come, for any of you guys that are still waiting, I know it sucks but your time will come too and hopefully when you least expect it!

My work permit finally came in the mail today! :D 

I’m so happy now all I have to do is go to a social security office to apply for a SSN which i plan on doing some time this upcoming week.  As soon as it comes in I want to go to the DMV and get a state ID since I can’t get my license until I turn 19 which will be late this March.  I ’m so excited for everything that is coming up in my life. Also this Tuesday Obama is supposed to speak about an immigration reform so hopefully he says something really good.  My family and I have conversations about how crazy it would be for all of us that are living in the states to take a trip to Colombia all together and surprise all our family living there since they havent seen most of us in like 10 years! That would be the best family reunion ever and I hoe it can be done soon.

USCIS received my DACA application back in September 14th, 2012. I had my fingerprint appointment on October 16th, 2012 and it is now January 13th, 2013 and I still have yet to get my work permit.  I don’t understand why it is taking so long, I should have gotten it by now and it’s starting to get really irritating that it is taking so long.  I’m really hoping that I have my license or permit by my birthday.  It sucks that I feel like my life is on a hold waiting for the permit while my other undocumented friends have it already :( literally everyday I go on the USCIS website to check on my application and everyday I see “Initial Review”, I just want it and feel the accomplishment that it is for all of us DREAMers.

OMG you guys are not going to believe what happened to me today. OK so I have a little Vera Bradley id wallet thingy and in it i had my bus fare card, my college id, my WORK PERMIT CARD, and a couple dollars and today without noticing I accidentally left it on the bus as I got off.  I went most of the day without noticing until I went to put my phone in the pocket that I normally but the wallet in and I saw that it wasn’t there so I panicked a little since I was in class.  So I texted my dad who was busy and couldn’t pick me up so my aunt ended picking me up.  I came home and called the bus lost and found number and the first two times that I called it didn’t work so I called again and had to click a different number and was transferred to the right place.  A lady answered and asked me what bus I had lost it on and my name and right when I told her my name she was like “yea we have it” which at that point I almost cried from relief and excitement.  She told me where to go pick it up so my aunt took me and I was able to pick it up and everything was in there, even the couple quarters I had in there.  That was literally the scariest moment of my life but I’m so glad some one turned it in to the lost and found or else i’d be SCREWED! My parents were pissed at me too when I told them I had lost it so good thing I found it.  Long story short DON’T CARRY YOUR WORK PERMIT CARD, unless you’re going in for a job. 

Yesterday

I went to the Social Security office to finally apply for my social and it was super simple.  When we got there I didn’t expected it to be so full, I waited about 30 minutes until I was called to the window and then I showed the lady my papers and it took her about 5 minutes to put me in the system and finish.  It was weird leaving tho, I don’t know why but right when I sat back in the car I felt less Colombian.  I guess the fact that I have been undocumented all this time there’s always been this Colombian feel in me and now that I have some sort of United States paper work I feel more American.  I wasn’t expecting to feel something like that but it just randomly happened as we left. I don’t ever want to lose my Colombian roots which is why I want to visit so BAD.  All I want are the rights I know I deserve.

Any one else feel something like this?

I am so mad right now! today my grades came in the mail and my dad just saw them and came into my room and started yelling at me saying “why are you slacking of this year out of all the years youve been in school?” and honestly the only really bad grade i have is an E in Trig and its because it’s not like i expected it to be and its just really hard! With me being undocumented its kinda hard for me to really care about my grades because i know that even if i try my best its extra hard for me to actually do what i want to do because i probably wont be able to afford to go to school in florida and then ill just end up going to the community college here.  I wish my dad was in my place so he would know how hard it is to be in school and know that the governemt is keeping you back from living your life. my whole life he has told me to do good in school and i usually always did occasionally id get Cs or Ds but that was usually because i didnt understand the stuff that we were learning.  Now its hard for me to focus when all i can think about is what my life is going to be like after i graduate.  I really hate this government!!

:D

GUYS!!! I have an interview on Monday for a scholarship! :D OMG I really hope I can get it.  I’m not sure how much they would give me but hey anything is better than nothing.  I hope its at least $1,000 because that would at least pay for one class this fall.  I’m excited and nervous because this will be my first interview.  I really hope I end up getting it! :)

Today I went to the mock graduation that was held in DC.  It was the first time i had done anything that has to do with the dream act and immigration.  It was an amazing experience.  I even spotted Angy from “Ask Angy” and I fangirled for a little bit even though I didnt get to talk to her or anything it reassured me that I’m not the only one out there.  It felt so good knowing that there were so many people in my situation and people were willing to travel from many different states to come together.  

I kinda hate how none of my friends know that I am undocumented. I want them to know but I just don’t want them to look at me in a different way and if I were to tell just my close friends I feel like they would tell their friends and they would tell their friends and sooner or later my whole school would know. I just don’t want something like that to happen. I don’t want anyone to think lower of what I am. It sucks that they don’t know how it is to be undocumented. All my friends think they have it hard because they have to fill out college apps, scholarship apps, and FASFA well I wish I could fill out as many scholarships apps as they can and FASFA. I dot even know what this rant is really about, I guess I just wanted to let you guys know that I hate being undocumented. I hate that my friends don’t know what I’m going through. I’m pretty sure I’m depressed because of all of this to and I’m just so unmotivated to do any college stuff just because I feel like even if I get into a couple schools I won’t be able to go because I can’t afford it and the government won’t help me out.

Social came in the mail today :) now all I have to do is wait until my birthday so I can go to the DMV to get my license which is in about a month and a half.  I’m not sure if I’ll go back to the restaurant I was working at now that I have a real social due to the fact that I want to focus on my school work but on the other hand I really want to be making some type of money to save and hopefully get a car in the near future. 

Updates

I cant remember the last time I have made a personal post on here. Sorry about that guys but here are some updates on my life :)

  • Today I sent in my deferred action paperwork.
  • I have now been in community college for about 3 weeks and I am pretty content with it. the only down side is that I have to take the bus there.
  • I got a job! :D
  • My two best friends hate me lol no but really.

and yea I think thats about it hopefully ill remind myself to write more personal post to keep you guys updated :)

Voting

While at the Colombian consulate I asked my dad if i were able to vote for the next Colombian presidental election and he said “yes”. I asked him in a joking matter because i thought he was going to say no because I dont live there and i thought i wasnt able to vote but i was surprised at the fact that he said yes because I think its pretty stupid that someone like me who hasnt lived in colombia and knows nothing about the government over there is allowed to vote yet i have been living in the US for the last 10 years and know a decent amount about the government and the people running for president this year and im not allowed to vote. idk i feel like im the only person that thinks the way this whole world works is just weird.  I really wish there was something i or someone could do just to become a citizen in which ever country they want to.  maybe im just over thinking it. 

Lately it seems like the best option for me and my life is to go back to Colombia and start my life there. I’m so tired of constantly feeling down because of my status.  It;s like every time i get excited about something, something else comes up and by status plays a part on that.  and it definitely doesn't make it better the fact that i have no one to talk to about my life. I want to be able to start my life but i feel so tied to my parents because i cant drive of anywhere and i cant just go out looking for an apartment or anything. Honestly the only reasons to why I wouldn't want to go back to Colombia is because I wont be able to come back to the US for at least 10 years and because i don't want to give up on my dreams but its just so hard to watch the rest of my classmates starting to do their own thing while i’m stuck just because i lack these 9 numbers.

Update

Hey guess this is just a little update of me and my journey with finding a school to go to after high school. So far I have been accepted to roger Williams university and Florida institute of technology. both schools are giving me and international scholarship for $10,000. unfortunately both schools tuition and fees are around $50,000 which is awfully way too expensive. that's like more than both my parents income in one year. So with me being undocumented and not being able to fill out a fafsa it is very unlikely that i will be able to afford going to ether one of those schools.  I talked to my counselors at school at they told me that they'll be willing to call the schools and tell them my situation and see if they will be willing to give me more money or something.  so right now im just HOPING they will be able to work with me and my situation.  I know i cant get my hopes up too high because I know this isn't the easiest thing for them to do.