u got lesbian advice for baby lesbians who r really messed u p about not being attracted to men n r very sad and broken up about it?
men do not matter men dont love you they cant make you happy you will be miserable with a man. One day you will be happily married with the woman of your life in a dream relationship and a stable strong love that no man would ever be able to give you. An unselfish love. A love that doesnt take away or need. A love that gifts. No man could give you that. Also as a baby lesbian its important to remember that no one is experienced in like high school or whatever we have our first gay loves in our 20s often its not weird its not something to be ashamed about its normal. everything youre going through is normal and so worth it.
I’ll preface this by saying that this will feel like I’m repeating myself. TL;DR The food was amazing, the country was beautiful, and never have I felt my life take as big of a step forward before. My conviction toward my future is as strong as its even been, and I owe that to Jenna.
Without further ado, let’s begin.
Looking out the window of my plane, I was struck with a feeling of familiarity. Seeing the grey sky, the trees, I felt like I was back in Portland. That alone did wonders to instill this feeling that Finland will become a home away from home… Although it didn’t do much in helping me find out where to go; I couldn’t find the way to the terminal and there wan’t much in the way of help in getting my bearings. Eventually I found my way out, but that’s something we’d come to laugh about over the course of the trip.
The first week spent getting acquainted with my new surroundings. I wanted to see things and explore. Our first stops were the art and history museums. For a country that’s only celebrating its centennial this year (yes I’m aware Finland was a country before their independence), it has a storied and rich cultural history. Seeing the kind of decor and religious artworks match the same things you saw in college texts books put pictures to… Well, pictures. Both Jenna and I’s favorite exhibit was the history of travel posters. I picked up a book containing the entire exhibit it was so interesting.
Exploring more of the Helsinki area was a blast. Seeing the intermingling of old world architecture and modern convenience was a sight to behold. The photos below are of Senate Square, where one of the older Lutheran churches presides. Of course we had to get a photo on the steps, what are you crazy?
After that came the big one. On the 18th we headed out to Savonlinna for the weekend, with a stop in Lappeenranta to meet Jenna’s father. Lappeenranta is a smaller town, and it definitely feels like it. It parallels Beaverton with it’s foot traffic friendly streets and little food shacks. Speaking of, we picked up meat pies at one… My only regret was I didn’t get 3. The museums we lovely, as was getting acquainted with Jenna’s father. Although, one of my personal favorite moments from this trip was learning Jenna painted a mural during her senior year of high school; I did the exact same thing during my final year of school. It feels more and more destined that we’re together, I swear.
We arrived in Savonlinna that night and we immediately settled in. The accommodations were comfortable, and the food continued to be delicious. The next day we headed into town to see the sights and pick up some necessities; namely some swim trunks for myself. Can’t go into a hot tub in jeans, what are you crazy? Other than that, we were met with more scenic beauty that never failed to amaze. Seeing ice sheets cracking atop lakes and rivers was beautiful.
Returning home, we were lucky to find that the recent mall renovations were complete. Why does this matter? Because it offer us an insane number of new restaurants to try. All in all, this was a very culinarily indulgent trip. Not only from the restaurants we visited, but the dishes we prepared in our modest kitchen. For things like these, pictures speak louder than words, so I’ll link you to the mass post of food pictures I posted already:
I feel the pictures with Mario 64 don’t need an explanation. I will say this though: Childhood dream fulfilled.
Once I felt stable enough to venture out on my own, I found a nearby trail perfect for morning walks. Not only was it scenic, a skate park that was tucked away in the trees hosted some fantastic graffiti. I had to stop and take it all in.
Coming up on the dusk of the trip, things slowed down to a comfortable groove. The prior weeks were dedicated to exploration and excitement. These final days were more intimate and slow, a perfect way to reflect on what was turning out to be one of the greatest experiences in my young life.
May 1st. Vappu. A holiday to the Finnish people, the one day out of the year everyone is encouraged to get out, enjoy the sunshine, and mingle with their fellow man (at least that’s how Jenna explained it to me). We had a champagne picnic in the park, the revelry of people around us partnered with the booming bloom of springtime filled me with a sense of camaraderie. Maybe it was just the timing, perhaps I just happen to miss these experiences at home, never before have I felt a true sense of belonging and zest for life than in those moments. I miss it already.
After that, what more is there to say? Jenna and I lived together. For trips like these, they say it’s the little things you’ll always hold close in your memory. This proved to be exactly right. Waking up to a beautiful morning and cook breakfast for the woman I love was a privilege. Learning who her favorite streamers and YouTubers are. Sharing the WIPs of work we were getting done, the little breaks that ended up longer than we thought, the games we played, the music we experienced… I’ll say it again: I’ve never felt my life take as big of a step forward before this trip. It showed me a life I wanted. A life of my own, which of course, I can share with someone. I felt I loved Jenna before. This trip cemented it as a truly honest and beautiful feeling. A connection I had been missing all my life… Alas, I had to return back home.
What’s next for me? Well, my Air Force plans are still going ahead. I have a driver’s test setup this Monday, and once I accomplish that, I’ll be reaching out to a recruiter. Wish me luck everyone, that license is the last stepping stone I need to get over before I can pursue my Fire Protection career (well that and the ASVAB of course).
When I said this vacation renewed my conviction to my future, I meant it. Everything I do going forward will be to reunite myself with Jenna so we can build our lives together. I know this is the right decision. I just do. And I can’t wait to see what our future holds.
Pre-MI6 Bond was a test subject for Project Somnacin, and one of the few agents who could maintain a stable dream. Even after the Project was discontinued, MI6 has 007 running a particular brand of interrogation: trial and error. Because when you die in a dream, you just wake up.
But Silva refuses to crack. And with the clock ticking, they must think of more creative ways find out what he’s done with the list. M wants an extraction. James believes it to be academic theory only. Q is an extremely quick study.
Dream stabilization is really about
preventing the loss of lucidity by maintaining the dream you are in. Our
consciousness has a massive affect on dreams and it’s our job to keep it under
control in order to perform what it is we want to. Normally becoming lucidity
makes the dream unstable and more likely to collapse thus forcing the dreamer
awake. It’s our aim to stop this happening.
I use the term ‘collapse’ a lot which is
more metaphorical than literal, simply meaning that the dream is ending due to ‘unnatural’
causes. This is when there’s something about our lucidity (sometimes unintentional)
that is causing the dream to end and hence the dreamer to wake.
Stabilization comes in two main forms – it’s either ‘preventative’ or ‘curative’
This is what you should naturally be doing
in any lucid dream to stop the dream becoming unstable – or rather picking what
you shouldn’t be doing. Making good habits of the way you act in a dream can
help keep it stable while you’re lucid. Your awareness has a big impact on the
dream and it’s about coming up with passive but affective counters in order to
keep everything together.
Below is a combination of what not to do –
more so than directly what to do. The real aim is to ground yourself in a dream
– you can think of these actions as ‘anchors’ to keep both you and the dream
Keep moving in dreams. This will help you
stay grounded and focus all your attention on the dream (rather than the fact
you’re lying in bed asleep). By continually moving around and exploring the
dream environment you’re maintain your focus on the dream. Avoid static positions
especially for flight, keep moving your dream body and specifically focus on how
real and vivid it feels.
Dreams don’t like intense emotions and can
easily collapse if it’s present. This includes everything from extreme fear to
intense joy – So keep an eye out and ensure you have everything under control.
This isn’t to say don’t enjoy yourself, just try to keep a lid on an intense
feelings you have. This is important for beginners who have an intense surge of
euphoria upon getting lucid causing them to then immediately wake,
Keep your awareness on the dream and not on
the fact that you’re actually lying in bed dreaming it. To stay in the dream it
needs to be your reality so treat it as such. Interact with the dream, see how
vivid and real the things it creates are. Feel objects, breathe in the dream
air, focus on all your senses. You need to take the dream environment
seriously, keep your awareness on what’s going on and it will remain stable.
Honestly, just keep calm and dream on. It’s
easy to get caught up with all this stuff but much of it will come naturally.
Don’t worry about it, enjoy yourself, and don’t get too upset if it all goes
wrong. Work out what happened, and what you can do to get it to work next time.
Just relax and have confidence in yourself.
Most simply, this is where the dream is already
collapsing and you are in some way trying to save both it and your own
This can happen many times in a dream where
you notice that that you are losing clarity, vividness or any other source of
focus on the dream. The first step involved with any curative methods is the
ability to recognize the fact that the dream is unstable. Usually this is
something that only comes through experience (and a few collapsed lucid dreams)
– repetitive failure until you start to pick up the signs that indicate an
imminent collapse. Typically people pick up this first step quite quickly as
for most, unstable dreams are very noticeable!
Stabilization techniques follow a similar
idea to preventative methods, returning your focus to the dream and grounding
yourself back inside of it. But they are usually much more consuming, active
tasks bringing all thought back to the dream you’re in.
at your hands
Just lift your hands up to your face and
study your palms. You want to replace what you’re seeing in the dream with the
palms of your hands, looking at them until the dream returns to normal. After a
few seconds it’ll be likely that you feel the dream shift to something more
stable, at which point you can remove your hands and return your gaze back to
the dream scenery.
or Spinning – Movement
Once again we’re trying to ground ourselves
in the dream but this time more quickly. Spinning is good for naturally the
dream scenery will blur (like it should be if you were actually spinning)
matching the instability of the dream. When stopping the dream should right
itself and create the scenery once more, stabilizing the dream. This is a
classic stabilization technique amongst lucid dreamers.
Movement in general will do the trick as
well. Some people like to just fall over onto their backs, run very fast or
start doing cartwheels. What you’re really doing it causing motion within the dream
and using this to both return your focus to it, and giving the dream a chance
to remake the environment.
with the Dream – Licking the floor?
Surprise can sometimes work great wonders
in a dream, bringing yourself back to a more stable scenario. If you find
everything is collapsing simply bend down, stick out your tongue and take a big
lick of the floor. Upon getting back up you should find the dream has returned
to normal. Once more the idea is to full-on engage all your senses in the
dream, regaining the ‘reality’ of it and focusing your mind back on the environment
you are in.
To finish I’d really like to say that much
of this is about what you can work out. I find sometimes that reality checks
work well to stabilize the dream, or even very dream-specific scenarios that
bring the whole thing away from collapsing. This is really something that comes
from good old trial and error, so don’t be afraid if everything’s going wrong.
It’s about learning to recognize when this is happening, and picking up the
tricks to stop it.
Thanks as always for all your messages.
Answered questions will be up soon (for those that have been waiting).
The Sun is exalted in the sign of Leo, and Leo is at home in the planet/luminary of its rulership. This partnership makes for a very strong and apparent personality. Those with their sun in Leo are often very obviously ruled by the Sun, regardless of the rest of their chart. When a sign is “exalted” it often results in a natural streak of luck or ease for the native. Of course the sun is not the only luminary or planet in our chart, so it is possible for a Leo Sun to have a planet in detriment or fall in their chart too. Despite any other placements, Leo Suns often have an easy time at expressing themselves and are drawn to create and seek out love and light wherever they go.
Leo Suns tend to be dramatic and showy, but this manifests in different ways for each Leo. Not every Leo Sun is going to be on stage at a theater, a celebrity, or even a boisterous, colorful character. Some Leos find their drama in writing while being rather shy and unassuming in life (they take on a “big” personality in their writing), through music, or another creative outlet. Leos tend to be very loving and soft-hearted, though if they’ve been hurt before they may guard their heart very closely and put on a front. Leos are prideful and can take offense to something seemingly small. Feeling under-appreciated is the biggest affront to a Leo. They love to give and don’t expect much back except for gratitude.
Many Leos love children and animals. Leos are protectors and childlike in their disposition at the same time. They protect innocence and light, and see animals and children as the natural holders of those virtues. Even if Leos don’t have children in life, they are horrified and completely saddened by cruelty. They make good volunteers or charity workers. They are not always the best employees because they hate being bossed around and if they do not receive consistent praise or promotion they may quit in a huff.
In esoteric astrology, Leo marks the fifth step on our soul’s journey. Here we are able to develop love for ourselves and specifically create with the task of love as our ultimate goal.
Leos who have a lot of fire signs (other Leo, Sagittarius or Aries) in the rest of their chart will be extremely focused on creative pursuits. They are likely passionate individuals with a marked temper and an air of grandeur that surrounds them. They could have a number of mood swings and suffer from frustration and impatience. They are master manifesters and are naturally lucky. If they can learn to cool their tempers and work in the realm of the practical for a while, they will see tremendous results and miracles happen around them. They may have trouble dealing with a boring day-to-day existence and always want more excitement and wonder.
Leos with earth signs in their chart (Taurus, Virgo and Capricorn) will be more humble. They will be even more in tune with animals than their fellow Leos, and are the natural pet whisperers of our world. They will be more practical as well and will have an easy time of holding down a job, saving up and giving reality to their dreams. They usually have stable relationships too, but expect a lot from those around them. They need a certain amount of reassurance and compliments to feel good, and if the people around them suffer from a bad mood that has nothing to do with the Leo, the Leo might take it personally.
Leos with a lot of air signs in their chart (Gemini, Libra, Aquarius) will be social and charming creatures. They will have a number of creative endeavors going on at any given time. They are jacks of all trades, and usually quite stylish. These Leos may have a number of amorous partners throughout their life, always searching for the one who makes them feel the best about themselves. Air Leos feel at home at parties and other social functions. They may have trouble spending time alone, as they gather their inspiration from others.
Water sign Leos (with Cancer, Scorpio or Pisces in their charts) are sensitive souls and often love children. They may have an active dream world or could be psychic. They are the most temperamental of the Leos and may suffer from feelings of inadequacy or low self esteem. They enjoy shaping their physical appearance and could play with it, considering their hair or style to be an art form. They may be prone to sadness and can be very affected by the world. They sometimes feel as though they are too special, or too unique to fit in. They may feel like aliens. “I am better than all this” they may think, and will deviate between this attitude and then feeling as though they are worthless.
The sun sign represents our egoic self. Leos have very strong egos, because the Sun is at home in its sign of Leo. This means that Leos have much to overcome in terms of enlightenment. They must let go of what they are trying to prove to others and learn to come into their own. While praise and attention feels wonderful, the Leo must learn to give these things to herself on a deeper level before she can truly begin to feel fulfilled. Leos, as children, have an easier time with this but often grow into their sun sign and seek validation through others’ reactions to them, usually around puberty or the ages of 10-14.
wet dream: being financially stable enough that my honey and I can take impulsive trips to New York, spend weekends in fancy hotels, and buy pretty lingerie for me to wear in said hotels. there is a jacuzzi bath tub and the sheets are made of silk. the skyline is gorgeous at night with the curtains drawn.
This circa 1870 carriage barn was once the barn for a large summer estate. It morphed into a car storage facility during World War II. In 1957 Milton Kulp, Jr. (Junie) established the internationally known show barn, All Around Farm. The 19th century barn had been neglected for years and although decrepit, the barn was structurally sound. Inspired by the 1995 movie “Sense and Sensibility,” which was set in an old English barn, the current 21st century owners set out to transform and restore the barn. The 9,750 square foot structure was converted from show barn into a 4-bedroom residence with state-of-the-art kitchen, bathrooms, home office and re-established horse stables with wash stall and tack room.
By transforming the spaces, the house is filled with unique details. It carries a simple elegance while integrates the character of the old barn without losing the unusual barn scale. Salvaged materials were used throughout including antique brick, hardware, windows and cabinetry. The great room fireplace mantel was discovered during construction hidden in the barn’s attic space covered in dust and cobwebs. Old stall posts were used as the great room stair newel posts. It was always the client’s dream to have their horses in their house – and this is on dream that came true beyond their wildest imagination.
If you ever find that upon becoming lucid the dream fades to black don’t panic. It could be that the dream environment collapsed and a new dream environment is being created so stay relaxed and remember to keep the dream stable! If you do wake, try a DEILD or FILD to place yourself back in a lucid dream!
I want to quickly remind you that this story takes place just before, during and after Thor receives Mjölnir. I am following the Norse Mythology with this one. I hope you enjoy!
Guarding was probably the most mundane part of my job. I disliked standing around, and had soon discovered that a mute guard wasn’t much of a guard either. It was not like I could just scream to my colleagues for help. That did not mean that I wasn’t going to do my duty though, just because something is challenging, does not make it impossible. I always carried a small, golden whistle around. It had been forged especially for me on Svartalfheim by the dwarves. The magic weaved through the gold allowed me to make a range of sounds, depending on the situation. I could pick from obnoxious and deafening to a soft warning.