the signs as the things i heard on the first day of school
aquarius: shove that water bottle up your ass
pisces: [while making a name tag] hand me that marker, i’m gonna draw the void
aries: what’s your white mom name? wait nevermind you don’t get to decide, you’re definitely a carol.
taurus: anyone dare me to shove this scissors in my eye? no? i’m doing it anyway
gemini: time isn’t real i swear to god this bus ride is two hours long
cancer: i’m going to cry if he says another word about lunch
leo: THAT’S A POTTY WORD
virgo: i’m so glad i’m a twin, the world needs more of my genes
libra: your locker is jammed? the stuff in there is probably too big. did you put your ego in there?
scorpio: is the next paragraph in the health class syllabus about [snicker] s-e-x?
sagittarius: i don’t trust gingers anymore. one’s smiling and it’s the first day of school.
capricorn: my pencil case just fell off the top of the bleachers. god i wish that were me.