But seriously, I can just picture Lily’s angry tears and James seething with hatred and disgust at how the Dursleys were treating their son.

How desperate they would have been to give him a present every year on his birthday. Just on a hug on Christmas Eve. 

If ever James and Lily had any regrets, it would be the fact that they left their one and only son to the abuse and neglect of the Dursleys. If anything had ever happened to Petunia and Vernon, they would’ve raised Dudley like their own son…

Finarfin, War of Wrath: the snake bites a dragon

Post-Darkness Valinorean armor = ?? more Vanyarin and Telerin motifs since the Noldor who were interested in making armor all left. He is commanding from the rear with a war fan, not to be underestimated.

AKA ‘how many twin snakes with flower’ motif can I sneak onto one elf, my brain is fried studying for boards

If they’re going to make Viagra commercials featuring beautiful women speaking in sultry voices while the camera pans up their silky smooth legs, I demand birth control commercials with sexy men huskily filling me in on the side effects of the pill while slowly shrugging out of their suit jackets and removing their cufflinks before unbuttoning their shirts and advising me to ask my doctor about Yaz so I’ll never have to worry when I’m in the mood. 

Nah but really if you’re okay with at least an hour’s worth of totally made-up plot points but then turn around and whine that Tauriel isn’t canon you can go sit in a corner because I’m confiscating the mythos until you learn how to appreciate and enjoy the addition of an empowering female figure the same way you do the addition of gratuitous fight scenes.