dragon table

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Hey everyone! I seriously can’t believe it, but it’s that time again! I’m so happy to announce that Table Fables II is finally done! After finishing the first book, I realized that there were so many more tables I wanted to include and a ton I wanted to expand on! Table Fables II: The World-Builder’s Handbook is 104 pages of illustrated tables and generators designed with world-creation and adventure-building in mind.

A few of the cool-as-heck tables include: A full dungeon generator, new quests, a fully revamped kingdom generator, hundreds of random encounters, a pirate ship generator and even more cool tables that will help you build a unique and vibrant world for your players!

If you are interested, you can buy this little book on Amazon!


*Also real quick I want to take a moment to thank each and every one of you. I’m not exaggerating when I say that without your unbelievable support, this book would not exist. Thank you. <3

When the sorcerer found the dragon, it was attacking a grape.

This was only possible because the dragon was not much larger than a grape itself, but she still had to do a double take to be sure the object it was fighting with such animosity was in fact inanimate.

She crouched so that her eyes were level with the top of the table and squinted at it. The dragon sank its tiny fangs into the grape’s skin and gave a great tug, succeeding only in throwing it and the grape into a backwards tumble. The tiny green reptile rolled to a stop with its whole body wrapped around the grape and shook its head ferociously, managing to pull its teeth out but also launching the grape across the table. It gave a mighty roar of anger (about as loud as a human clearing their throat) and stalked after it, tail swishing dangerously.

“Do you need help?” she offered.

The dragon froze mid-prowl and whipped its head around to look at her, looking so offended she almost apologized for asking.

“I mean, I could peel it for you, if that’s the problem.” She wasn’t sure it was getting the message. One could never tell how much human language these little creatures picked up by hanging around the magic labs. Some understood only such essentials as “scat!” or “oh fuck, that sure did just explode”, while others could hold entire conversations — if they deigned to interact.

This one looked like it was deciding whether she was worthy. Finally, it sniffed daintily and flicked its tail, scales clacking together. “Little monster is my prey, and you can’t have it. Found it first. Will devour it!”

“Oh, sure,” she agreed. “But you know it’s a grape, right?”

This was the wrong thing to say. It glared at her and then bounded away to the other end of the table, where it slithered up to the grape and pounced on it.

Grape and dragon promptly rolled off the edge of the table.

The sorcerer quickly went around to that side, alarmed that it would be stepped on. The labs were bustling with shoppers stopping by to watch demonstrations this time of day, and a small dragon wouldn’t be easily visible on the blue and green tiled floor.

“Horrible! Dirty!” The tiny dragon was screeching at the top of its lungs, holding onto its prey for dear life. It would have been hard to hear anyway, with all the noise of the labs, but with the sorcerer’s diminished hearing it took several seconds to locate the screaming creature.

She scanned the pattern of the tiles for it and sighed. “Oh, hold on, we mopped this morning.” She cupped her hands around it and deposited it into her skirt pocket, an indignity the dragon endured only with more screaming.

“An outrage! Put me down!”

“Shh,” she advised. Lab workers were strongly discouraged from bringing creatures into the back rooms, which was where she was heading, picking her way through the crowded front lab.

“Fuck pockets!” her pocket responded.

“Oh, you can curse. Wonderful.”

The dragon seemed to take this as an actual compliment. “Am multitalented. Can also compose poetry.”

“Really? Can I hear some?”

“No. For dragon ears only.” It sounded viciously pleased to hold this over her head. The bulge in her pocket rearranged itself, and she thought it might be trying to gnaw on the grape.

She felt herself smiling even as she tried to squash her mouth into a straight line. She liked this little bad-tempered thing, even though its spiky feet were digging into her thigh.

In the much quieter kitchen of the back rooms behind the lab, she transferred the wriggling, scaly handful from her pocket to the table. The dragon hissed out a few more insults as it got up and straightened itself out, but its jaw fell open when it finally took in its surroundings. She’d set it down next to the fruit bowl.

“There you go. Food mountain.”

The dragon’s shock didn’t last long. Abandoning the grape, it scraped and scrabbled its way up the side of the bowl and from there onto an apple, its claws leaving tiny puncture marks as it hiked to the top of the arrangement. “Food mountain!” It repeated, its gleeful crowing much clearer and almost sing-song without having to compete with the noise of the crowd.

She watched it turn in a circle, surveying the feast. “But… cannot eat it all,” it observed after a while, crestfallen. “Human-sized. Big shame.”

“Don’t you have nest-mates who can help you with it?” she asked. She had assumed not, from the way it had apparently been foraging for food on its own, but she needed to be sure she’d found a loner.

“No nest. No mates. No nest-mates. You’re rude.” It flopped down ungracefully, wings spread out flat on the apple like it was trying to hug the entire much-larger fruit.

She gave it a moment to be dramatic, and then offered it the grape, minus the peel. “You seem to have a good grasp on human-speak.”

It grabbed the grape without so much as a thank you. “Yes. Have composed poetry in both Dragonese and Humanese. Not for humans to hear, though.” Bragging cheered it up a little.

“You mentioned. I can’t hear very well, anyway.” She pulled up a stool and sat down. “Actually, I’ve been looking for a helper.”

“An assistant,” it said, apparently showing off its Humanese. “An attendant. An aid.”

She watched it bury its snout in the grape, juice dribbling down onto the apple it sat on. “Yes. A hearing aid. How would you feel about having a job?”

It smiled craftily. “Would feel positively, if job comes with chocolate chips.”

“It could,” she said, grinning. She had some friends who employed bird-sized dragons as messengers, but this was the first time she’d heard of one negotiating its salary for itself. “It certainly could. What’s your name?”

“Peep,” said Peep. “It is self-explanatory.”

“Don’t worry, I got it.”

Peep expressed its doubt that humans ever got anything, but she thought the tiny, prickly creature might be warming up to her.

50 Rumors And Hooks...
  1. A bandit gang preys on wounded and weary adventurers as they straggle down the road from the dungeon to the city. 
  2. A black cloak was stolen from the Burnt Bridge tavern last night; sewn into the hem is a treasure map.
  3. A gigantic egg appeared in the town square last night. No one knows what might hatch out of it, but it’s going to happen soon.
  4. A deity walks the city streets disguised as a humble mortal. 
  5. A hot-tempered knight has promised all his lands to his brother if he is bested at the upcoming jousting tournament.
  6. A leading churchman has announced a heretical doctrine; his fellow priests have demanded that he recant, on pain of excommunication. 
  7. A wrestler named Drón Goldentress will perform three great quests for anyone who can beat her in a match. 
  8. Agitation grows in a neighboring land for a renewed war against the kingdom. 
  9. An eerie dog with glowing eyes stalks the city at night. The magnificent sorcerer Furioso was bitten by it, and now he can barely remember his own name.
  10. Ditchdiggers unearthed an ornate tin casket the other day. They can’t figure out how to open it, but won’t let anyone else try, either. 
  11. Drinking a poison surely meant for someone else, the meek baker Oswald dropped dead in a tavern last night. 
  12. During the day, the headsman’s daughter appears rather homely, but under the moonlight, she is the fairest young maiden in the realm.
  13. Every hundred years or so, a black, venomous rain falls on the city, killing hundreds of people. A recurrence is months overdue. 
  14. The Superordinate Six, a band of famed adventurers, have failed to return from an expedition to the Rat City ruins. 
  15. Goblins tunneled a good distance under the city walls last year, but the authorities covered it up. 
  16. Grave robbers have been digging up the bones of slain adventurers. They must be working for a lich or evil wizard. 
  17. Luriez the horse trader is auctioning off Bravo, a clever and magnificent steed. His former owner, a luckless mercenary, lost him in a dice game. 
  18. Magic items sold by Antesos Three-Beard have a peculiar way of finding their way back to his shop after the purchasers die. 
  19. Many of a famous knight’s heroic feats were in fact performed by his squire, a young girl dressed as a boy.
  20. Mercenaries have taken sanctuary in the temple; the high priests want them out but are forbidden by the tenets of their faith to expel them. 
  21. Pound for pound, the most valuable treasure in town is not silver or gold, but the cache of saffron hidden in the spice merchant’s shop. 
  22. Priestess Ciana has great healing powers, but those she raises from the dead sometimes take on her personality traits. 
  23. Pulsing green lights are frequently observed near the abandoned mines south of the city. 
  24. Recent rains flooded the catacombs beneath the city; strange things are floating to the surface.
  25. Someone is stealing all of the town’s church bells. 
  26. Somewhere in the city, the priceless Altar of Kych is hidden in plain sight.
  27. The armorer Casabon just received a shipment of Zhenish steel, which will make fine blades for those who can afford them.
  28. The astronomer Harun the Subtle reports sighting a circle of new red stars in the sky. The Royal Astrological Society has offered a reward to anyone who can conclusively explain the meaning of this omen.
  29. The beloved singer Dulari has fallen prey to a terrible illness, one the healers can’t cure. 
  30. The bullying city watchman Moyalva has been extorting money from the weak and helpless.
  31. The courtier Vivando has fallen out of favor with the king, who suspects him of having eyes for the princess.
  32. The exiled prince of Cadis unwisely dismissed a churlish servant who knows too much about his master’s business.
  33. The feathers that rained down on Beggar’s Alley last night came from the wings of battling archons.
  34. The floorboards beneath the Trembling Pig Inn are hollow and full of stolen gold.
  35. Pirates have disrupted grain shipments meant for the kingdom; starvation looms if traders cannot resupply in time.
  36. The high sheriff becomes violently enraged if anyone accuses him of having orc blood. 
  37. The king is a usurper who has the real heir to the throne chained up in his basement.
  38. The king plans to build new watchtowers around the city. Laborers, once desperate for work, will soon be hard to hire.
  39. The king’s chief minister plans to step down, making way for his clever but abrasive protégé. 
  40. The philosopher Frabreck has released another pamphlet arguing for the conquest of the orc lands, so that its peoples can be liberated from evil and placed under the king’s benevolent rule.
  41. The rancher Septimus is raising a flock of strange reptilian beasts on his farm.
  42. The retainers of an unpopular knight quelled an uprising on his lands by fi ring crossbows into an unarmed throng.
  43. The rich merchant Zaguant has learned that pirates have sold his son into slavery.
  44. The son and daughter of two rival merchant families eloped a few weeks ago. Both fathers offer a reward for the son: his father aims to protect him, but the girl’s wants him dead.
  45. Whenever a member of the murderous Lampedusa clan is slain, the weapon used to deal the death blow is permanently imbued with powerful magic.
  46. The young adventurer Brialda carries a shield bearing the crest of the Acatero family, even though, as an illegitimate daughter of that clan, she is not entitled to it. 
  47. An ancient throne lies buried in a field nearby. Anyone who sits on the throne for an entire night will rise from it a wise man or a lunatic.
  48. They say that if you listen long enough to the water lapping against the shore near the statue of King Brand, you will hear the name of an innocent person you are fated to kill. 
  49. They’re slaughtering more than just cows and sheep at the old abattoir down by the piers.
  50. Whenever ravens gather on the clock tower, a mighty hero dies. 
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Hey guys! I am so unbelievably happy to announce that my secret project is officially finished! After four solid months of work, Table Fables is complete. 

Now, Table Fables is a labor of love - 84 illustrated pages of item tables and generators to make dungeon masters’ lives a little easier. Inside you’ll find a ton of cool things including but not limited to: a full character generator, a disease generator, a kingdom generator, potion generator, a magic items table, a scavenging table, a curse table, a dream table and a ton of other little fun things!

If you want to check it out on Amazon, click here! It’s a super cheap, fun little book meant to make DnD a little more interesting. Thanks for reading! 

Region Generator

“What, my homeland? Oh, don’t get me started! Where should I begin?”
Follow the directions below to generate the outline of a marvellous, far-away land, and interpret as you see fit.

Geography and Climate (Roll 1d12):
1. A layer of earth and moss scraped across bedrock
2. Dry soil heaped in ever shifting dunes
3. Rocky shores and chilly wind
4. Towering mountains
5. Great climbing hills and sloping valleys
6. Plains stretching beyond the horizon
7. Lowlands pocked with lakes and rivers
8. Fire spewing fissures
9. Deep canyons and deeper caves
10. Dripping forests
11. Scrubby tundra
12. Rugged, tangled evergreens

History (Roll 2d6):
2 -4. Passed from warlord to warlord
5 - 6. Total isolation
7. A slow cultural takeover
8 - 10. Unwavering religious dogmatism
11-12. An unending tug-of-war between factions

Noteworthy Animal (Roll 2d6; if either die shows 1 the creatures are especially large; a 6 means they are prolific; doubles means they are magical in some way):
2 -4. Slinking carnivores
5 - 6. Soaring creatures
7. Stampeding herds
8 - 10. Chattering, dexterous beasts
11-12. Glittering insects

Current Events (Roll 2d6; doubles means there is active conflict):
2. A very valuable natural resource has been found there recently
3-4. A new religion has taken root
5-6. Natural disasters have been common in recent years
7. A benevolent leader has united the people
8-9. A contagious disease is ravaging the population
10-11. Industry has increased recently
12. A religious crusade is beginning

Local Cultures (Roll 1d12 1d4 times):
1. A large people
2. A posh people
3. A nature loving people
4. A diminutive people
5. A warlike people
6. An industrious people
7. A water-dwelling people
8. A reclusive people
9. A festive people
10. A socialist people
11. An oppressed people
12. An ancient people

Sights Worth Seeing (roll 1d12)
1. Vampire falls
2. The Sinkhole
3. The Dead Kahn’s Temple
4. The Stepping Stones
5. The Giant’s Teapot
6. The Green Vortex
7. The Harvest Festival
8. March of the Dead
9. Sunrise Pass
10. Mushroom Hole
11. The Church Below the Earth
12. The Crimson Rain Ceremony

100 Art Objects, Historical Artifacts, and Miscellaneous Loot
  1. A marble bust of a large-nosed woman
  2. A richly woven carpet with nautical patterns
  3. Soft, clean bedsheets sewn with golden thread
  4. A portrait of a bashful looking tiefling
  5. Eight matching silver cups
  6. A ceremonial helm with a daisy motif
  7. A coil of silken cable, intricately braided and tasseled
  8. An ancient fertility sculpture
  9. A nautilus shell
  10. A stack of fine vellum
  11. Richly embroidered blue sleeping robes
  12. A huge tortoise shell
  13. A polished silver looking-glass
  14. A set of gem-encrusted cutlery
  15. Silk handkerchiefs
  16. A necklace thickly adorned with bright feathers
  17. A small dragon skull
  18. A collection of beautiful glass bottles of all colours
  19. A snake skin of tremendous length and quality
  20. Well preserved tapestries depicting an important historical event
  21. A set of fine jewelcrafting tools
  22. A chess set of excellent quality
  23. A set of non-magical but intricately etched daggers
  24. An ermine coat
  25. Soft doeskin boots beautifully crafted for small feet
  26. A collection of flags and banners once flown by nations now extinct
  27. White silk gloves
  28. A satchel made of glossy crimson leather
  29. A rattle made from a cloven hoof
  30. Paper pouches full of dried herbs and spices
  31. A red and silver scepter
  32. A porcelain doll garbed in a beautiful ballgown
  33. A large bismuth crystal
  34. A box containing several elaborately decorated animal masks
  35. A glass orb containing a tablespoon of quicksilver
  36. A vase containing numerous exotic feathers
  37. A golden ceremonial shield featuring an unfamiliar charge
  38. Ten large glass marbles of various colours
  39. A richly illuminated, leather-bound manuscript of local history
  40. A rare coin collection
  41. A massive scarlet crustacean claw
  42. Pots of powdered henna, turmeric, and indigo
  43. A long spiral antelope horn, polished and banded in silver
  44. Two oblong pearls of modest size
  45. An exquisitely preserved fish fossil
  46. A set of lavish quills and two pots of deep blue ink
  47. Three canopic jars, and the broken lid of a fourth
  48. A hand-carved, gold leaf frame, sans painting
  49. A masterful portrait of a stern couple, sans frame
  50. Beautiful horse tack
  51. A glass jar filled with layers of sand of various colours
  52. A snow leopard skin in fine condition
  53. A huge vanilla scented candle
  54. A wooden case containing two dozen bars of sealing wax
  55. A hand-carved mash paddle made from black wood
  56. A silver locket containing a lock of silver hair
  57. A crystal bottle of perfume
  58. A carving made from jet featuring the head of a gorgon
  59. Twelve fine drinking glasses wrapped in cotton
  60. A brass cast of a skull
  61. An ancient ceremonial sword of a powerful queen, its blade half rotted away
  62. A silver flask
  63. A wooden frame containing a complex gear mechanism of unknown purpose
  64. Pouches of very rare seeds that grow into valuable plants
  65. A geode
  66. A tome of forgotten ballads written by a legendary bard
  67. A terribly gaudy cuckoo clock elaborately inlaid with silver and gold
  68. A half-finished bolt of patterned cloth, still attached to the loom
  69. A large tangle of coral
  70. A church bell featuring a religious tale in bas relief
  71. Gold candleabras
  72. A brass statuette of a religious figure
  73. Two oak barrels of alcoholic spirits
  74. A sack of bathing salts
  75. A box of lace
  76. A folder stuffed with dwarven beer recipes
  77. Spools of excellent leather cord
  78. Medicated creams and ointments
  79. A box of colourful makeup
  80. A pouch full of glimmering pearlescent fish scales
  81. A silver dog whistle shaped like a howling wolf
  82. Ivory spice shakers
  83. A jar of herbal honey
  84. A large incisor on a leather thong
  85. Powdered animal parts
  86. Gold false teeth
  87. A bulk lot of mundane smithed items, including locks, hinges, etc.
  88. An empty silver lockbox with key
  89. Elegant red skates
  90. Blue suede shoes
  91. A dried caul
  92. A taxedermied platypus
  93. A censer
  94. Three wax likenesses, one slightly melted
  95. A telescope
  96. A set of tinkling hand bells
  97. Coffee beans
  98. Tortoiseshell combs
  99. Copper bottom cook pots
  100. A flanged steel plug of some kind

y’all like the adventure zone? yeah me too, but sometimes once a fortnight isnt enough to fulfill ur need for dnd podcasts, so here’s a few more!

friends at the table

this is more of a rpg podcast that strays away from the traditional world of dnd, but still maintains many of the rules, which is great, and it has many different campaigns set in different worlds, which is awesome. there’s also a helpful little recording at the beginning of the feed which has a run down of what each arc is like, so you know which episodes are maybe not for you

join the party 

this is a brand new dnd podcast! its looking to be so good, with the first two episodes already being awesome, as well as giving the listeners options to listen with or without little nuggets of information about the game and vocabulary used and how certain elements work (also amanda from spirits is super cute!)

critical hit

another dnd podcast that has been going on for the longest time, and tends to stick more to the conventions of dnd, ive only just started listening to this but it looks really good!

hello from the magic tavern

this isnt a dnd podcast, but it has a similar improv vibe to a lot of these dnd podcasts, and is set in a fantasy realm like so many dnd campaigns are, just without any rolling, and everyone is fully in character. the beginning and some episodes can be a little slow, but its still well worth listening too

sneak attack!

another podcast i stumbled across that i havent really had the chance to delve into yet, but it looks super promising! also more conventional dnd campaigns and worlds

critical role

this is not a podcast, but is livestreamed, with episodes put up on youtube and their website. episodes are long (normally between 2-4 hours!) but theres plenty of episodes if you really enjoy getting invested in dnd campaigns (and you can see everyone, which is nice!)

update: they are now making the episodes available as a podcast, you can listen here! (thanks @raisedbybats !)

if you want any podcast recommendations, feel free to ask me!

helena x