dragon cactus

Why I hate coconuts

We were playing Dungeons and Dragons and coming up to the big finale boss fight. House rules are that three 20s = instant kill.

The party decided to allow their pet sentient cactus to fight along with them after teaching it how to throw and retrieve a coconut. I went along with it for the laughs, treating it as an improvised weapon with pretty large negatives on dice rolls.

The very first round of the fight went to the cactus. The cleric instructed Needles the Cactus to throw his coconut at the boss.

MFW 20

MFW 20 20

MFW 20 20 20

MFW my uberboss was one-shotted with a coconut

MFW I had to think of how a coconut, thrown by a two-foot tall walking cactus, had managed to slay a black dragon.

Herbs/Food/Plants by Purpose

Banishing: Basil, Betel Nut, Black Pepper, Black Salt, Cayenne Pepper, Chamomile, Cactus, Cloves, Dragon’s Blood, Elder, Garlic, Heliotrope, Horehound, Juniper, Morning Glory, Mullein, Mugwort, Oleander, Onion, Rosemary, Rue, Sage, Sea Salt, St. John’s Wort, Thyme, Tobacco, Vinegar, Wood Betony, Yarrow Flower

Beauty: Avocado, Beet, Catnip, Chamomile, Evening Primrose, Flax, Ginkgo Biloba, Ginseng, Henna, Lady’s Mantle, Lemon, Lilac, Lucky Hand (Orchid Root), Magnolia, Maidenhair, Myrtle, Orange, Orange Blossom (Neroli), Orchid, Pea, Prune, Rose, Sunflower, Violet, Yerba Santa

Binding: Agrimony, Calamus, Crowfoot, Hydrangea, Ivy, Knotweed, Morning Glory, Skullcap, Snapdragon, Solomon’s Seal, Spiderwort, Vinegar, Witch Hazel

Cleansing/Purification: Angelica, Anise Seeds, Black Pepper, Cayenne Pepper, Cedar, Coconut, Dragon’s Blood, Fennel, Fern, Frankincense, Garlic, Ginger, Grapefruit, Guava, Honey, Horehound, Horseradish, Hyssop, Lavender, Lemon, Lemongrass, Lemon Verbena (Vervain), Lime, Marjoram, Melon, Mesquite, Parsley, Peppermint, Pine, Rosemary, Sage, Sandalwood, Sea Salt, Solomon’s Seal Root, Tangerine, Thyme, Turmeric, Vinegar, Yucca

Keep reading

“For some reason our dragons really hate each other, but you’re a pretty cool guy and I want to hang out with you anyway.”

“Turns our our dragons weren’t fighting but really liked each other but we misunderstood and I swear that they are trying to get us together.”

“Dudes, you might want to hurry up, you’re late for class.” 

“Oh Crap, Run dude! Let’s go!”

Time Taken: 8 hours.

All characters belong to themselves.

The designs however belong to me I suppose.

Day 216

Nighttime Flowers.

“Some dragon fruit cactus flowers from one of my grandmother’s cactuses.”

I love these flowers! They only bloom at nighttime and only blossom for a few hours, then they die. It’s kind of sad, but pretty. My grandmother has these plants all around the house and the fruit is delicious! Once the flowers die, they transform into a weird shaped fruit, called “Dragon Fruit”. They are red fruits, with a creamy inside, with small black seeds.

Day 206

Dragon Fruit.

“Freshly picked Dragon Fruit from my grandmother’s garden are gathered in a mini crate after being washed.” 

My dog is feeling better today. She wasn’t feeling well yesterday because of the medicine kicking in from her visit to the vet’s office the day before, but it’s going away. My grandmother’s dragon cactuses are full of fruit! A lot of them still aren’t ready to pick yet, but a good bunch were ready to pick this evening.