drag brother

anonymous asked:

AU where Castiel is that one hot lifeguard at the beach and Dean is the lovable idiot who's constantly swimming out too far in what he claims are attempts to one up Sam (who's just reading on the sand at the moment), but are really just attempts to grab Castiel's attention (Dean doesn't know when he started taking whistles and amused glares as validation, but hey, if it works). Sam, afraid of seeing Dean actually get injured and aware that Castiel actually needs to focus on his job (part 1)

casually walks up to Cas with a determined expression plastered on his face. Dean panics, thinking that Sam is about to reveal his (pretty obvious in retrospect) crush, and sprints out of the water to do damage control. Cue Sam borrowing the spray bottle and walking away, and Cas giving Dean a lecture about dangerous currents. Dean just kind of nods throughout the lecture, focusing very hard on how devastatingly handsome Cas isn’t (he swears) while angry. They end up grabbing ice cream later.(2)

“I’m sorry about my brother.”

Startled, Cas turns to see Devastatingly Handsome Man 2 talking to him. The only reason he hadn’t spoken to Devastatingly Handsome Man 1, currently swimming hell-for-leather toward shore, was his assumption that Devastatingly Handsome Man 1 and DHM 2 were a couple.

“Brother?” Cas echoes, watching DHM 1 face-plant into the waves. Dripping with water, smudged with sand, wearing only soaking swim trunks that cling to his thighs and make a dome of the bulge of his cock. He’s, well, he’s devastatingly handsome. Even if he hadn’t been splashing around like a fool, Cas would have had one eye on him all weekend.

Except that he wasn’t single.

Except that…

“Yeah, yeah, the dumbass running toward us?” DHM 2 shakes his head. “It’s, well, it’s because of you. He thinks you’re hot, and I guess he figured if he made an ass of himself and pretended to be drowning you’d have to, I dunno, give him mouth to mouth or something?”

“Sam, for the love of - stop talking!” shouts DHM 1 breathlessly, trying and failing to find the purchase to run up the sandy shore. He even looks handsome flailing to keep his balance as the ground gave way beneath him at every step.

It isn’t fair.

“He was trying to get my attention?” Cas says flatly. DHM 2 - Sam - nods and rolls his eyes. “Right.” Hopping off the raise lifeguards seat, Cas walks casually, balancing easily on the shifting mounds of sand, meeting DHM 1 half way. “Your brother tells me that you’ve been engaging in dangerous behavior to get my attention.”

“Yes, I–”

“So while I’ve been forced to keep an eye on your-” -devastatingly handsome- “-antics, had their been a real emergency, I would have been distracted, and someone might have actually gotten hurt?”

“I’m sorry, but–”

“Furthermore, he tells me that you decided on this ridiculous plan because you found me attractive, and hoped I’d - what did Sam say - ‘give you mouth to mouth resuscitation?’”

“Sammy, how could y–”

“Well, if that’s what you wanted, you should have just asked,” Castiel concludes.

“No, I no, I was totally out of line, but…” DHM 1 trails off. “Wait, what?”

“If you were interested in having me kiss you, you could have asked me to kiss you,” repeats Castiel. Sam smirks. DHM 1′s mouth falls open. “Did that never cross your mind?”

“Oh. Uh.” DHM 1 looks around, looks away, brushes the sand from his legs and smears muddy tan streaks over his swim trunks and lower back. “I guess…uh…no?”

“My name is Cas,” Cas says.

“Dean.”

“I’m on duty right now - no fraternizing allowed - but I finish at 3 PM,” says Cas. “That’s 15 minutes. Don’t be late.”

“Right…right! No, I definitely won’t be.” DHM 1 - Dean, that has a nice ring to it - gives Cas a devastatingly handsome smile and allows his brother to drag him away by the arm.

Climbing back up the lifeguard stand, Cas pulls out his cell phone, scrolls through his contacts, and dials up Gabriel.

“What is it, my man?”

“Hey, so…I need you to come on shift a little early today…”

“Dammit, I had plans, Cas! Not ‘til 5, you said!”

“Sorry, but I’m going to need you here at 3.”

“That’s, like, now!”

“Don’t be late…”

“This is about that guy you’ve been ogling, isn’t it.” Cas can hear Gabe’s eyeroll over the miles separating them. “He’s, like, married to that moose. You’re wasting you’re time.”

“Brothers,” Cas crows triumphantly.

“Brothers?” Gabe echoes, a perfect mirror to Cas’ earlier reaction.

“Brothers,” confirms Cas.

“So the tall one is also single?”

“Don’t know for sure, but I know that he’ll be alone on the beach starting at 3…”

“GABE TO THE RESCUE!”

10

best friend:
first kiss:
asks you out:
shares a foxhole with you:
hides a bottle of VAT 69 in your footlocker: we all know who that is
too shy to tell you they like you:
gets wounded while saving you:
misses you after the war:
who you marry:

Ayato still only has a driver’s permit, so he needs an adult in the car when he drives; and there’s a sale on takoyaki at the store. So he dragged his brothers out of the house for a day of adventure! What happens next? You decide! 

How to troll Educational decree number 31

Educational decree number 31: Boys and girls are not permitted to be within 8 inches of each other.

The Weasley twins initially looked up at the sign with an air of malice but then simultaneously an idea sparked in both of their heads and they turned to look at each other with matching grins of glee.

“You thinking what I’m thinking Georgie”

“I believe I am dear brother of mine”

Keep reading

10

Drag of the Day (02/14/2017): The Boulet Brothers! 

Again, another dynamic drag duo that many already know about, BUT apparently some do not… and EVERYONE needs to know who the fuck the Boulet Brothers are! They’ve been keeping it spooky for 15+ years, with alternative events that bring out all the ghouls! You’ve probably seen me promoting the shit out of their YouTube series on Hey Queen called Dragula (go watch it if you haven’t, and if you haven’t make everyone you know go watch it right now), but Dragula actually started out as one of their regular events in Hollywood. I am so happy that Dragula got to be made into a show and I hope so very badly that they make a season 2 because, even after one season, it is now my favorite show ever. Deal with it. The Boulet Brothers always crank out amazing, fang-tastic lqqks and one day I will attend one of their events and ask them to adopt me. 

Follow them on instagram: @bouletbrothers

Go watch Dragula on YouTube dammit: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EK0-nz02P8Y&t=1s