draco malfoy puppet

A Short Guide to Swearing like a Potterhead

Harry Potter puppet pals taught us some great wizard swears. For your convenience, here is an abridged compendium of Potterhead swears, for all your swearing needs.


“You great bumbling Goyle” – hardly a swear; the equivalent of ‘you ass’

“Snape’s greasy hair” – a lesser swear, used mostly in times of surprise or disgust; the equivalent of ‘for the love of God’

“You complete 3rd year Draco Malfoy” – another lesser swear, to be used against someone; the equivalent of 'you bastard’
(Note: the female equivalent of this swear is “You Pansy Parkinson” or “You Rita Skeeter” in substitute of 'you bitch’

“Weasley sweaters” – a lesser swear, often tossed around; the equivalent of 'damn’

“Basilisk fangs” – a lesser swear, generally thrown around and often a pleased exclamation; the equivalent of 'damn’

“By the Burrow” – a middling swear, for any situation; the equivalent of 'shit’

“By the oblivion of Harry Potter himself” – a more serious swear, used generally in grave or shocking situations; the equivalent of 'Jesus, Mary, and Joseph’ and 'damn and blast’

“Cho Chang’s tears” – a greater swear, but often used in ordinary situations; the equivalent of 'bloody hell’ or 'shit’

“For the love of Sirius Black” – a greater swear, usually followed by a defiant declaration (i.e., 'I’ll do what I please’); the equivalent of the f word

“Voldemort’s nose” – the worst swear of all, to be used only in the most dire or serious situations; the equivalent of the GD word


*Feel free to add*

HOw dö yoo ttypee oN tthese MugGLe pHønĒŚ?!!,??&? my MyuggLE sTudïėß AsSiGnmenT iS Too maaked aa TuMbłr pPoSt. Hhelp MeE!!!$()??@

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Draco likes honey.