i broke a mug and glass today. then! THEN! another server dropped a cream right in front of me and i stepped on it and it sprayed all over this older couple (they’re regulars and they were SUPER nice about it) but i was so freaking embarrassed. i wanted to just lay on the floor and be like…aliens now would be the time to abduct me. i was having such a bad day, but it’s nothing compared to what this weekend is going to be. mothers day weekend is going to be my villain origin story.

i got shoes that allow me to run in and out of the kitchen without slipping but because the person that gave them to me wore them once they’re not broken in. this weekend is the worst time to break in new shoes jbhto;egpowf

Deadpool, the King of Pouches and Pernicious Odors

“Before Deadpool can even throw a punch, he’s already assaulted my senses. There are at least a dozen noxious odors flowing off his corpse-like body. 

My father used to take me to the circus at the old Madison Square Garden. That’s what Deadpool smells like.

The flatulence… My God. He farts like a corpse pulled from the Hudson.

There’s cheap burrito on his breath…

… But he has different cheap Mexican leftovers in his pouches. The cilantro is fresh.

Gun oil. His weapons are the only things he takes care of…

Dr. Scholl couldn’t help Deadpool’s foot odor if he had the Eye of Agamotto.

Things I learned today;

I need to get those dr. Scholls insoles for heels
Also, contacts
Do not wear panty hose under a long line corset which is laced really really tightly.
Do not drink an extra large lemonade whole wearing a princess dress, panty hose, and corset, because you’ll be trapped in a bathroom stall trying to reach around 85 layers of petticoats to rip a hole in the panty hose and hold your panties and the skirt out of the way to pee
Try not to say “fucking goddammit” while dressed as a Disney Princess in front of children


“When you just sort of stands there cuz Dr Scholl👣doesn’t have your🐾number.” PugsleyLuigi

#pug #dog #shoes #scholl #stupid #feelings #mood #feeling #sorry #sorrynotsorry #fit #cinderella #dogoftheday #dogs #pugs #puglove #puglife #pugkid #dogslife #doglove #dogstagram #pugsofinstagram #drugs #zen #pharmacy #photoshop #photooftheday #pic #picoftheday #pictureoftheday #photography

10 Things You Might Forget (But Shouldn’t)
  1. Your I-9 documentation. Whether it’s your passport, social security card, birth certificate, and your ID, don’t forget them!
  2. Your boarding pass! You have to print out all the paperwork (you can’t just have it on your phone!) with the barcode included after you fill out your housing registration and bring it with you to check-in. 
  3. Renters insurance. Disney recommends that you have insurance (it’s required for the Disneyland program), but it isn’t necessary. Personally I’m not going to have it and I know plenty of others who are in the same boat.
  4. Locks. You’ll have a locker at your apartment and access to one at work so bring two combination locks with you or buy them once you’re down here.
  5. Umbrella! Whether it’s pouring rain or bright and sunny, a small umbrella can come in handy.
  6. Your checkbook. Disney requires you to bring a voided check with you for payroll purposes so don’t leave your checks at home!
  7. Vehicle registration and car insurance. If you’re bringing your car make sure to bring these documents.
  8. Medications. If you’re on any type of medication make sure you get a prescription to bring with you or get a vacation override from your insurance company so you can pick up a few months worth of doses before you leave.
  9. Shoe inserts! There’s a 99% chance you’ll be standing and moving around most of the day and one of the best ways to protect your feet is to invest in some great Dr. Scholls inserts. 
  10. Roommate gifts! This one is totally up to what you and your potential roommates want do, but the gesture is thoughtful and could be a nice way to start out your program!

OUTFIT: Men's Chunky Cardigan 

Feeling Festive

Only a few more hours of work stand in the way of my Christmas vacation and I can’t help but feel festive. Yesterday I did all my Christmas shopping, last minute as usual, and then packed up in preparation to spend the rest of the week at home in New Jersey with my family. When I head home during the holidays I always opt for my coziest pieces including chunky cardigans and warm flannels like the ones I’m sporting in this outfit. That said, make sure to check back on the blog after you’ve opened your presents because I’ll be posting more outfit posts later this week. Be sure to follow me on Instagram too for a glimpse into my family holiday celebration. Hint: Lots of drinking is involved (duh)! I hope everyone enjoys their holiday tomorrow! Merry Christmas guys!


Cardigan c/o American Eagle  //  Shirt c/o American Eagle  //  Pants c/o Club Monaco  //  Scarf c/o ZB Savoy Bowtie Co.  //  Shoes c/o Dr. Scholls 


to the person who wanted comfy shoes… i work at a shoe store and I’m on my feet all day. please be kind to your feet, it can affect so many things and cause so many problems later on. i wear sketchers bobs in black, they look exactly like toms and they have memory foams in them that make them super comfy. dr scholls, born, easy spirit, and sketchers are all really good brands for comfy shoes. i recommend the sketchers bobs but anything in those brands should work just fine. good luck!!!