dr. reed richards

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Thank you.

‘Doctor Stark’ from New Avengers #29 (Vol. 2)

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New Avengers Vol 1. #44

(Jim Cheung’s New Avengers: Illuminati Vol. 2 #1 Homage)

Art by: Aleksi Briclot

It’s somewhat inspiring to see Cyclops and Emma together here despite Bendis shenanigans 

Secret Wars #1 Chip Zdarsky Party Variant

Shoutout to Marvel Characters with Alliterated names

Bucky Barnes (Winter Soldier)

Matt Murdock (DareDevil)

Steven Strange (Dr. Strange)

Reed Richards (Mr. Fantastic)

Susan Storm (Invisible Girl/Woman)

Victor Von Doom

Bruce Banner (Hulk)

Pepper Potts

Peter Parker (Spiderman)

Miles Morales (also Spiderman)

Loki Laufeyson

Scott Summers (Cyclops)

Jessica Jones (Jewel)

Kamala Khan (Ms. Marvel)

Richard Rider (Nova)

Rocket Raccoon

and of course…

WADE WILSON! (the merc with the mouth)

Tell me who i’m forgetting, I know i’m missing a ton :P

10 reasons you should wait to make Fantastic Four a #NetflixNight movie and save your money

So, in the true nature of Sunday Funday, B and I decided to go have some good, air conditioned fun. Yes, air conditioned. My car read 109 degrees and the devil himself is sweating out here in these Houston streets.

So we unintentionally wore matching gray Marvel shirts and met up at the Museum of Natural Science. Several compliments on our shirts later, and after a late brunch, we contemplated going to see the fantastic four movie.

We regretted it. It was shit.

WHOA, it wasn’t that shitty. It was like mild poo; not a complete blowout. People are reaching with the outpour of horrible ratings. There is no way this movie scored worse than the jessica alba/chris evans series…

welp. 

These are the things that made this movie a disappointment-

1. There was one and a half action scenes. In. A. Marvel. Superhero. Movie.

I know we need to know the origins of the crew. But don’t spend 110 minutes of a 120 minute movie giving me dialogue and plot and give me 10 minutes of whoop ass. This isn’t what I paid my 11.50 for.

2. The “explanation” of Sue’s adoption is like …what the fuck.

Kosovo? It better be some damn backstory behind this.

3. Stan Lee Da God isn’t in the movie.

There were so many opportunities for Stan the Man to drop in. I actually thought that Stan might be sick or something. There’s no other reason he would miss a Marvel movie (even if Fox has the rights). But my boyfriend quickly let me know he’s in the upcoming Deadpool movie. 

So basically Stan Lee couldn’t in his right mind co-sign this shit.

…and speaking of marvel traditions,

4. There isn’t an after credits scene. 

Not even a quick “The Fantastic Four will _____ again”. Even if there was, 60% of the 40 people in the theater (YES, 40 PEOPLE on opening weekend at one of the largest theaters in the 4th largest city in the country) didn’t have the interest to even stick around and see it.

5. Even the director thinks the movie is bad.

6. The alternate dimension machine only has one button?

There is no development in the idea that the alternative dimension thing means that they have the capability to send it anywhere else but this random ass planet-on the SAME spot every time. Like what if im just tryna beat traffic and get across town? How the hell is this gonna help that? I just feel like its a waste of my tax dollars, but i digress….

7. So you mean to tell me Frank and Sue Storm JUST so happened to be at a middle/high school science fair trying to find the perfect 13-17 year old talent to help them solve a problem their team of sophisticated scientists haven’t been able to in YEARS

Yeah, okay.

8. Shoutout to Ben for working out his emotional and physical abuse issues by turning “Its clobbering time” from the precursor to getting his ass whopped into his signature catchphrase. 

Because who needs therapy when you can fight your troubled childhood by killing people for the government?! And i’m talking about Ben/The thing, not the US military [this time]

9. The “science” montage.

Ah, pouring liquid from beaker to beaker, taking chinese food breaks and cracking jokes, writing, and then of course, erasing random complex formulas on a white board, typing 19203 WPM of code and falling asleep in the lab because you know….non stop science is ridiculously exhausting. It was wayyyyy too long and so corny. 

10. Reed Richards is corny as hell.

The arguable reason NONE of the F4 movies have been at the top of the Marvel list is that essentially, the fantastic four are boring.  Mr. Fantastic is an overcompensating name. He’s a ridiculously smart rubber band. Literally all other members have much cooler capabilities. Of course, maybe there’s a better story/background in the comics. For that info, you would have to refer to my in-house comic book guru/boyfriend Brandon. But even if the comics tell a better story, it can’t translate to the big screen.

De-railing Sidenote: my husband-in-my-dreams Michael Bae Jordan did well.

There are plenty of other honorable mentions, but I think ten is enough to know that you can (and should) sit this one out. 

What are your thoughts? Were you disappointed? Let me know!