dr. kellogg

2

“Good Morning America!” Darcy said enthusiastically.  “How’s the view from your part of the world?”

“It would be much better if you were here, Darce.”  He replied honestly. “And, I just got up.”

“You’re slacking off, Handsome.”  Darcy teased him.  “It’s 8a.m. in New York. What happened to your ‘ass crack of dawn’ morning run?”

“Can’t sleep good without you, Sweetheart.”  A hint of loneliness in his voice. “Been far away for far too long.” Darcy frowned.  She knew that Steve hated losing time with people he loved.  One of the side effects of his seventy years ice nap.

“I love it when you use song lyrics, to show how much you care about me”  Darcy said, trying to make him smile. “Much better than any mixed tape.”  

“That wasn’t intentional, it’s how I feel.  But, I’m surviving without you.” Taking a bite of his corn flakes before continuing.  “Not that I want to. Natasha kicks my ass when I start to mope.  I guess I have you to thank for that.”

“Yes, you do.”  Darcy explained.  “No one likes seeing a sad Steve Rogers.   It’s the equivalent of someone taking all cat videos off the Internet.  It’s something that you don’t want to happen.”

“I must sound lonely, needy and desperate for you.” Steve replied.  “It’s official, I’m in love.  I’m blaming you.”

“Damn straight you’re mine.”  Smiling and sounding very proud of herself.  “And, you’re not needy or desperate.”  You just miss your girl, and it’s nice to be loved and missed.”

“I’ve been away for a month, and the separation has been hard on me too.  But, it proves we’re not clingy or joined at the hip.”

“At least the time difference isn’t that huge.  London is four hours ahead of New York City.  You could alway steal the Quinjet, and come visit me.”

“Always an option.”  Steve said regretfully. “Unfortunately,  I have to be a responsible leader.  Putting my wants and needs aside, no matter how much I don’t like or want to.“

“Let’s blame Jane for our misery.”  She continued.  “How dare she be the world’s only expert on the Convergence. She’s finally getting the scientific acknowledgement she deserves, and a Nobel Peace Prize.“ 

“All the fame is keeping me away from my cuddly human space heater. At least, we both have our comfort foods.” Purposely slurping her coffee to prove her point.

“How’s your corn flakes, and what you call ‘real’ milk in the glass bottle?” She asked, and Steve knew what she was going to say next.  “Do you know the real reason corn flakes were invented?”

“Some crazy doctor thought it was a way to stop people from masturbating. An anti-sex food.”   It really was one of the most ridiculous, but true things that he had read about. “Internet so helpful.”

“And, how’s that working for you?”  Darcy laughed.  “You eat that cereal like it’s religion.  Is it curing that craving?”

“Not even close.”  He replied, his voice a little rougher. “You’re the only taste I crave.”

“Damn it, Steve!  Now I need to have room service bring me a few boxes of corn flakes…you know for Science.”

“Save the science experiment for when you come home.”  He laughed. “I’ll demand our money back if it doesn’t work.”

“Very funny.”  Darcy said.  “I already told Jane that when we get back,  I’m taking a few days off to work on my science experiment.”  

“Like Jane would have any say in the matter.”  He replied. “I’ll probably go all caveman on you.  Throw you over my shoulder, and carry you back to our apartment.”

“As long as it doesn’t end there.”  She demanded. “I expect a lot of sex and cuddling when I come home.  Phone sex, sexting you while you’re in a meeting and video chats don’t compare to the real thing.”

“I don’t sleep well without you either.  She finished, stifling a yawn.  “I need to feel you wrapped around me.  Guess that means I’m in love.  It’s all your fault.”

“Damn right it is.”  He replied, and Darcy could picture the smile on his face.  “I love you, now get some sleep.”

“Love you too, Steve.” She replied.  “I’ll hang up, and let you have some quality time with your anti-sex food.”

Steve hung up the phone, and ate another spoonful. Whoever believed that cereal was a cure for masturbation, obviously didn’t have someone like Darcy Lewis in their lives.

(Yes, it’s crazy but true. In 1894, two brothers, Dr John Harvey Kellogg and Will Keith “WK” Kellogg, were running a sanitarium and health spa in the town of Battle Creek, Michigan. Corn flakes were originally invented as a way to stop people from masturbating. )

Characters according to Google

Part two! With new people, whaaaat???

Sturges is a douche.

Jack Cabot is injured

Mama Murphy is dead. 

Shaun is black

P.A.M is always busy.

Glory is hot. 

Doctor Li is fleeing

Virgil is still the frog boy. (??) 

Desdemona is having a bad day

Proctor Quinlan is ignoring me

Kellogg is invisible

Proctor Ingram is legless

Elder Maxson is a young lad

The Accurate History of Kelloggs

okay so in like ?? 1984 Dr. John Harvey Kellogg and some other dude i forgot the name of (i think its either a cousin or step brother ?? idrk)

and like they both ran (worked for?) like some health spa ?? and a hospital ?? and were they all about that Biblical literalism ,, and “pure living” and they were also v strict vegans
and everything they believed were normally used in their “treatments”

well dr kellog over here took the whole “body is a temple” shit to a whole new level like boi be wild
he truly believed sex was impure and harmful
he especially hated masturbation something about self pollution (???) i think

he became kinda (??) famous for his books basically ragging on sex and stuff ,, like he blamed so much shit on sex or masturbation like epilepsy ? and dementia ??

and i remember reading some quote from a book of his ,, i cant remember it all but i know it said something about a man “dying by a his own hand” cause its worse than the plague or some shit

and like he had some weird ass ways to stop masturbation n shit but i’ll just ignore them rn

but another treatment came from his vegan beliefs ,, he decided spicy foods n meats basically made you horny as fuck
he insisted a meal of bland food like grains n shit ,, also something about being inspired by “sylvester graham” for his wheat crackers that decreased sex drive but idk ?

so he was like “lemme make my own food like this #notacopy”

he called it “granula” but some other dude had that name for his food so he changed it to “granola”
the two bros “kellogg” and the other dude started making shit with bread and they accidentally made the flakes and “corn flakes” was born

then kellogg started using it for his anti masturbation stuff but the other dude had waaay more business mojo than kellogg over here and decided they should add sugar and sell it as a breakfast cereal

awhile after fighting over the brand name they decided it should be kellogg cereal company

then in 1915 they made bran and then in 1927 they made rice krispies !

kellogg’s corn flakes is one of the best selling cereals today too

Dr. John Harvey Kellogg of Kellogg’s Corn flakes invented them as part of a plan to reduce masturbation, based on the belief that bland foods would prevent excitement, and that his favorite device was an enema machine that could rapidly instill several gallons of water in a series of enemas. factsource

Did You Know

That according to the Corn and Cereal industry, Dr. Ambrose Straub of St. Louis patented a peanut butter-making machine in 1903, Dr. John Harvey Kellogg patented a “Process of Preparing Nut Meal” in 1895 and used peanuts. Kellogg served the patients at his Battle Creek Sanitarium peanut butter. Joseph Lambert worked for Dr. Kellogg and began selling his own hand-operated peanut butter grinder in 1896. Almeeta Lambert published the first nut cookbook, “The Complete Guide to Nut Cookery” in 1899 and some unknown doctor invented peanut butter in 1890.

I was tumblrin with the TV on in the background and how it works came on talking about peanut butter when i heard

Some unknown doctor invented peanut butter in 1890.”

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I had to rewind to get the quote and make sure i wasnt hearing things.

Well let me help you with your facts kellogg. That “unknown” scientist was this guy:

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George Washington Carver

After Establishing Tuskegee Institute(now Tuskegee University) in 1881 President Booker T. Washington asked Carver to head the Agriculture Department. As an agricultural chemist, George Washington Carver developed the department into a strong research center and working with two additional college presidents during his tenure. He taught methods of crop rotation, introduced several alternative cash crops for farmers that would also improve the soil of areas heavily cultivated in cotton, initiated research into crop products, and taught generations of black students farming techniques for self-sufficiency. Carver discovered three hundred uses for peanuts and hundreds more uses for soybeans, pecans and sweet potatoes. He start popularizing uses for peanut products including peanut butter, paper, ink, and oils. However, Carver did not patent peanut butter as he believed food products were all gifts from God. 

 Due to his frugality, Carver’s life savings totaled $60,000, all of which he donated in his last years and at his death to the Carver Museum and to the George Washington Carver Foundation.On his grave was written, 

He could have added fortune to fame, but caring for neither, he found happiness and honor in being helpful to the world.

Did you know that Charles Darwin’s son would hit up the AMNH/ American Museum of Natural History and hold meetings which in some of those meetings he and a group discussed ‘population control’ of minority subjects and were very fond of eugenics and bettering the races by excluding non whites and poor people?

In 1932, the Third International Conference of Eugenics was held at the Museum of Natural History in New York City. It was sponsored by Mrs. H. R. duPont of the Delaware duPont family and a short roster of America’s wealthiest—and most rabid—racists masquerading as environmentalists and eugenics benefactors: Mrs. Mary Averill Harriman, Major Leonard Darwin—the son of Charles Darwin, famous for his “Survival of the Fittest” natural selection philosophy—Mrs. John T. Pratt, Mrs. Walter Jennings, Dr. J. Harvey Kellogg, Henry Fairchild Osborn, Colonel William Draper and Mr. and Mrs. Cleveland H. Dodge.

“what’s white science??”