dr. karate

The Signs as Gravity Falls Quotes

Aries: Hey, wanna hear a joke? My ex-wife still misses me…but her aim is gettin’ better! See, it’s funny, ‘cause marriage is terrible!

Taurus: Who wants Stan-cakes? They’re like pancakes, but they’ve probably got some of my hair in them.

Gemini: Are you sick of piles of owls constantly blocking your driveway?! Well then you gotta get Owl Trowel!

Cancer: Well if it makes you feel better, the apocalypse is comin’ soon! Bury your gold. You’ve been buying gold, right?

Leo: Shmebulock…

Virgo: Haha! You fight like a girl! Who is also a baby!

Libra: Finally, a good reason to punch a teenager in the face!

Scorpio: Dr. Karate! You killed my father again!

Sagittarius: Not man enough? NOT MAN ENOUGH?! I have three Y chromosomes, six adams apples, pecs on my abs, and FISTS FOR NIPPLES!

Capricorn: Homework’s whack, and so are rules! Tucking in your shirts for fools!

Aquarius: Braces are horrible! It’s like my mouth hates me!

Pisces: Okay, my original plan was to tape together a bunch of fish sticks to make prosthetic pair of people legs.