dr facillier

The Les Mis X-Men AU no one asked for

So I have this headcanon and nothing to do with it, so here you go.

Thanks to @mysunfreckle for putting this damn idea in my head, and my friend Browen for headcanoning it out with me.

Our glorious triumvirate road trips across the country to the capital to protest mutant registration laws and mutant persecution. Along the way, they gather up a motley crew of fellow exiled mutants we all know and love.

Here’s what their powers are:

  • Enjolras: Has the power to mildly manipulate people’s emotions. Need a small crowd placated? No problem. Riled up and enraged? Sure. Can’t tell if the boy you like actually loves you or you accidentally made him feel that way? Shit.
  • Courfeyrac: Can shoot lightning from his hands and manipulate electricity. I guess you could say he has an electric personality. “Is it just me, is there an electric force between us?” *shocks someone mildly. “You could say you’re shocked to see me!”
  • Combeferre: Has the power to glean the history of an object just by touching it. This comes in handy when they start tracking down secret mutants in the cities they pass through.
  • Grantaire: He’s basically a green version of Nightcrawler. He can teleport, but looks like the part demon he is. He frequently argues with Enjolras about how easy it is to peacefully protest when you can hide your mutation easily.
  • Eponine: Has the power to briefly glimpse the future, but it’s sporatic and comes in snippets. Her parents have tried exploiting this trait, resulting in her leaving home with Gav and trying to make the most of it on the streets until she meets the Amis.
  • Gavroche: Is still really young and isn’t showing signs of powers yet. It sends them all for a loop the day he discovers his powers are intangability.
  • Cosette: Explodes with force power when she gets anxious or upset. A wall of force erupts from her, driving people away. She finds it difficult to control.
  • Marius: Can speak, read, write, and understand any language inherently. He finds his powers incredibly mundane compared to everyone else’s. But he follows the Amis along after Cosette.
  • Joly: Has the power to heal other people, but when he does, he suffers pain proportional to the damage he heals. This pain stays with him until he heals someone else. The Amis often run around giving themselves paper cuts for Joly to heal in order to alleviate his suffering after one of them gets injured.
  • Bossuet: Thought he had no powers at all, just incredibly bad luck. But he sympathized with the mutant cause. Until they discovered that his mutant ability was actually generating bad luck around him. They figured this out when a cop was snuck up on Joly and somehow comically misfired his taser gun into his own foot when Bossuet stepped in to protect Joly.
  • Musichetta: Can make duplicates of herself she can control simultaneously. Much to Joly and Bossuet’s amusement. But this skill has also come in handy when they need protest crowds to look bigger than they actually are.
  • Jehan: Is a shapeshifter. Yes, he actually chooses to appear like this. No one assumes anyone dressed like this is a shapeshifter.
  • Montparnasse: Can control shadows and darkness to an extent, similar to Dr. Facillier in Princess and the Frog. He’s more of a showman than anything and likes weaving fancy black clothing out of the dark.
  • Bahorel: Super constitution. Can eat anything, take a punch, that sort of thing.
  • Feuilly: Can manipulate the air around him like an airbender. He uses his fans to do this. He’s also better than the shitty car AC unit, so they squabble over who gets him in their car in the height of the summer.
  • Jean Valjean: Super Strength. THE MAN LIFTS A FULL CART OFF OF A MAN IN CANON. ALONE. So obviously he’s super strong.
  • Javert: Is in favour of mutant registration and works with the police force to enforce the new laws. He’s an excellent detective, but his values are thrown into crisis when he discovers that what makes him a good detective is actually a mutation. He thought it was just good instincts, but he’s actually hyper aware with better than human senses.

But yeah, the X-men AU no one asked for.

Friends in the Question Blocks
Luigi ft. Wario and Waluigi
Friends in the Question Blocks

While waiting for a good instrumental of Stronger than You (lyrics are already written but all the instrumentals I’ve found have serious problems), I thought this up and did it to keep the voices fresh.

This is the first time one of these has been so big I needed to compress for tumblr to allow it, so the file is in 256kbps. Hopefully it won’t make much difference! ;^_^

Lyrics:

Wario: Waluigi, Why are we visiting Mario?

Waluigi: Simple! We’re gonna take advantage of his generosity and get a bunch of his power-ups to make
our plunders more successful!

Wario: Fair enough. *knock knock* Hey Mario! It’s-a me, Wario!

*door opens*

Luigi: Hello?

Wario: Where’s-a Mario?

Luigi: He’s away adventuring for now, but Luigi is-a here to help!

Waluigi: Weh…I’m not dealing with this guy today.

Wario: Yeah. Letsa go…

Luigi: Don’t-a you disrespect me, you two!

Waluigi: Weh?

Luigi: Don’t-a you belittle and-a mock!

Wario: Wah?

Luigi: You’re-a my company now, not mario’s…

And I got friends in the question blocks.

(He’s got friends in the question blocks)

Wario: What are you talking about?

Luigi: C'mon in! I’ve got lots-a to show you!

Luigi: Sit down on-a my Sofa
Put yourself at rest
I know I may not be mario, but
I'ma gonna do my best!

I can jump-a the highest
flutter around some too
Shoot myself out just like a bullet
(great for parties AND deathmatches!)

Waluigi: We just want powerups from you!

Luigi: O-ho!
I got powers
I got flowers
I got tons o’ that in stock!

Cos I got friends in the question blocks!

(He’s got friends in the question blocks)

The coins…the coins…the coins will tell…
How many of these things I can sell!

The coins…the coins…give them to me…

Wario: We’re not-a payin’ you jack! We just want ‘em for free!

Luigi: Okey-dokey. Let'sa start with Wario!

Luigi: You’re as strong as you can-a be
Beating people up comes-a naturally…

Wario: That'sa right! Wa-ha!

Luigi: Your strength is great….
But your stealth-a sucks…

You need to blend in much-a better if you-a want the big bucks…

Waluigi: I keep-a telling you this, You can’t-a beat up EVERY guard!

Wario: I know…

Luigi: So you gotta hide, but hidin’ makes you nervous, you don’t wanna give yourself away, Alert

everyone that you’re there…but good hiding takes powerups! O-ho ho!

You need to be as quiet as a stone…
And if you look at your-a past you can’t-a do it alone…

On you, waluigi, I don’t wanna waste much time
You’ve been rejected all your life
Rejected by your family and Mario and Luigi!

And if-a you got married…
You’d-a be rejected by your wife!

Waluigi: Weeeh…

Luigi: But with the right-a powerup, the you I-a see
Is somebody who’s admired by-a everybody!

Shake-a my hand!
C'mon, guys, won’t-a you shake-a player two’s hand?

Waluigi: Hmm, why not?

Wario: Hmm, Okay!

YES!

ARE YOU READY?

(ARE YOU READY?)

ARE YOU REEEEADY?

Transformation central!

(Transformation central!)

Reformation central!

(Reformation central!)

Transmogrification central!

(gulp)
Wario: Waaah!
Waluigi: Waaah!

CAN YOU FEEL IT?

You’re changin’
You’re changin’
You’re changin’, all right!
Hope it was worth-a the talk!
But if it wasn’t
Don’t blame-a me!!
You can blame my friends in the question blocks!

(You got what you wanted!)
(But you lost what had!)

Luigi: Okey-Dokey!

Wario: So, we can turn back into Tanooki from these stone forms, right?

Luigi: Sorry! This was a free sample! If you want-a more, you gotta pay!

Waluigi: But we can’t-a even move to pay you!

Luigi: Oh…too bad…bye-bye. *door slam*

Mario: Oh wow! Look at this statue! I’m not a fan of the subject, but I’ve gotta admire the detail work!

Toad : Wow Mario, You’re right! Are there any more?

Mario: I can only see this one here…

Wario/Waluigi: LUIGIIIIII!

the signs as disney villains

aries: queen of hearts (alice in wonderland)

taurus: hades (hercules)

gemini: jafar (aladdin)

cancer: mother gothel (tangled)

leo: cruella de vil (101 dalmations)

virgo: evil queen (snow white)

libra: ursula (the little mermaid)

scorpio: yzma (the emperors new groove)

sagittarius: gaston (beauty and the beast)

capricorn: scar (the lion king)

aquarius: dr. facillier (the princess and the frog)

pisces: maleficent (sleeping beauty)

inspired by this post :)