Me: *extensively checks my makeup*

Me: *straightens my clothes and picks off any lint*

Me: *spritzes on some perfume*

Friend: what the hell youre just going to the bathroom calm down

Me: ….you never know where you might meet your soulmate

first day as the token pagan on a ghost hunt

ghost hunter: Oh no stuffs going down

me: [drawing circle of salt around me] you’re on your own dude lol