date at aquarium

boyfriend: …no
aquarium worker: sir please put it down
me *making lobster im holding wave its little claw at them*: aww but he loves you hes just saying hello

Me: *extensively checks my makeup*

Me: *straightens my clothes and picks off any lint*

Me: *spritzes on some perfume*

Friend: what the hell youre just going to the bathroom calm down

Me: ….you never know where you might meet your soulmate

me in an advertising agency

me: *suddenly realizes the L in the company logo fer Staples is a paper clip , not a Staple*
linda from HR: calm down
me: *kicks over her potted fern , causing dirt to spill around her cubicle in great carnage,* capitalism destroys the SOUL… i am finished, DONE,with hearing your shitty bad stories about your GRANDSON

me: that’s it! i’ve had enough! i’m not going to let my self be dragged around by ryan ross any longer i’m going to muster up my last bit of self respect and go to a fave who loves me and actually updates on the regular

ryan: *posts to instagram* the fuck do you think you’re going sit back down

me: you’re right i’m sorry you’re so fucking right

@taylorswift I’m Ryelee and here’s some photogenic photos

Me being casual and all

Me losing my chill

Me when I can’t calm down

Me being casual again 

Honestly I have no idea what the hell this is

Me wearing octopus hat

Me doing random shit in a octopus hat