down with the fed

anonymous asked:

also, with Auston I feel like the first time y’all could have intercourse after kids he would just be so damn ready for it and would keep getting frustrated with the baby crying

auston would have one day where he planned everything like made dinner, got the baby fed and bathed and to lie down and go to sleep but the minute he’s inside you the wailing starts up and he just groans into your skin before he gets off you to tend to the little one

continued nsfw night? (bc some asks have just popped up)

It’s not a coincidence that most girls had a tomboy phase or a “I’m not like other girls phase” but eventually all “grow out” of it. It’s easier to reject norms as a kid but when you’re older and start seeing the effects gnc women face, you switch up real quick. You’re no longer the rebel child, you’re just the girl that could be soooo pretty if you just wore a dress and did your hair. You’re no longer a free spirit, you’re the, are you ever gonna get a boyfriend. You’re no longer the tough child that speaks her mind, you’re when is she gonna learn her place, she’ll never marry with that attitude, that shit ain’t cute. Growing up most girls resented the bullshit we had to put up with, we were fed up with the double standard. We wore comfortable clothes we liked, we hated being asked about boys, we questioned what we were fed. But eventually it wears you down, you grow up, insecurity fills you up, you start thinking something really is wrong with you, you suddenly like make up, or dresses, and you just think it was a part of eventually growing up, you don’t think about how much of yourself got stripped away to make room for the new super feminine version.

it’d be great if we could talk & joke about mental illness just a little bit without being accused of promoting it but neurotypicals misunderstand it so badly. being open about our own personal experiences or joking about them is not romanticising mental illness lmao

So, I did some height comparison stuff with the reapers and this is what I came up with

Abracadabra! You're pulling the rabbit out of where?!?!

Not really a fuck anybody but a positive story that I really wanted to share with you all. It’s a bit long but worth it. TLDR at the end.

I have 2 rabbits. I was told they were both female. They are not. Now I have 11 baby rabbits. One of the babies is quite a bit smaller than the others and he had squirmed out of the nest so he was really cold and stiff when I checked on him this morning. I was running late for work so I grabbed him and tucked him inside my bra to try and warm him up and then I forgot about him.

I got to work and was talking to my manager when all of a sudden the rabbit woke up. He stopped mid sentence and said “Did your boobs just squeak?” And he just looked so alarmed it was hilarious. So I explained why I had a squeaky baby rabbit stuffed down my shirt and then he called all of my coworkers over to come see the baby and we all had a good laugh.

He said that I could keep the baby with me while I was on register so I bought some kitten formula and a dropper and fed it whenever it got noisy. Animals are allowed in the store so nobody minded.

All day long customers would see my shirt randomly squirm and I’d show them the baby and they’d laugh. One guy saw me pat my boobs and say “Calm down I just fed you, you’re fine.” And he just looked so confused. 😂😂My manager said that if it survives it can be our unofficial store mascot and come to work with me everyday. It was pretty much my best shift ever.

TLDR: I freaked a bunch of people out with my boob rabbit. 🐰🐰

5

Flint (barely) standing upright with Jack in the room and then slumping down with exhaustion once he’s gone 😭😭

because nothing screams “FASHION!” like rhinestones on your boots

Lmao I fucked up explaining Jewish dark humor in class today

I was like, our holidays are all about the times we survived awful tragedies like “hey the temple burned down but at least our kids aren’t being fed to crocodiles in Egypt! Pass the brisket”

Everyone stared at me in horror so I guess that went poorly lol

Abracadabra! You're pulling a rabbit out of where?!?

A positive story that I really wanted to share with you all. It’s a bit long but worth it. TLDR at the end.

I have 2 rabbits. I was told they were both female. They are not. Now I have 11 baby rabbits. One of the babies is quite a bit smaller than the others and he had squirmed out of the nest so he was really cold and stiff when I checked on him this morning. I was running late for work so without thinking I grabbed him and tucked him inside my bra to try and warm him up and promptly forgot all about him.

I got to work and was talking to my manager when all of a sudden the rabbit woke up. He was hungry and made his displeasure known. My manager stopped mid sentence and said “Did your boobs just squeak?” And he just looked so alarmed it was hilarious. So I explained why I had a squeaky baby rabbit stuffed down my shirt and then he called all of my coworkers over to come see the baby and we all had a good laugh.

He said that I could keep the baby with me while I was on register so I bought some kitten formula and a dropper and fed it whenever it got noisy. (All friendly animals are allowed in the store so nobody minded. )

All day long customers would see my shirt randomly squirm and I’d show them the baby and they’d laugh. One guy saw me pat my boobs and say “Calm down I just fed you, you’re fine.” And he just looked so confused. 😂😂My manager said that if it survives it can be our unofficial store mascot and come to work with me everyday. It was pretty much my best shift ever.

TLDR: I freaked a bunch of people out with my boob rabbit. 🐰🐰

2

Not-So Holy Water

This statue of Jesus, at a Catholic church in Mumbai India, had water trickling down from its toes. Worshipers hailed it a miracle. Some would collect the water and drink it. 

Sanal Edamaruku, a prominent member of India’s small band of miracle-busters, men who dedicate their life to traversing the country demystifying certain beliefs, showed up to investigate the site. He found that the cause behind the water trickling down the statue was actually from an overflowing drain, which was in turn fed by a pipe that issued from a nearby toilet.

Local Catholic Churches filed blasphemy charges against  Edamaruku. He began receiving numerous death threats and was forced to flee to Finland.

in my apush class some kid decided to write a Declaration of Independence and my teacher said he could and he legitimately wrote one and got to perform it and we stapled it to the wall. it was signed.

Iconic statements™:

“Students are tired, beaten down, and fed food not of this world.”

“She has made her quarter a place of neglect and tears.”

“She has brought on inevitable amounts of pain to those who look in the grade book.”

“We hold these truths to be self-evident that all students, besides freshmen, are created equal.”

“The united body of students have been taxed with homework, bombarded with tests, and have been silenced from any use of telecommunication to other colonies (classes).”

“We, the students of third period, now consider Queen [Teacher] and enemy of war and dissolve any allegiance to her.”

I have this headcanon that Lance used to be mute, like he witnessed something traumatizing as a child that made him stop talking. And then years down the road he gets fed up with the bullies at school and starts trying to speak again and it takes forever but he’s finally able to speak again (his first word was Hunk) and he keeps practicing until he can speak without it hurting. And then one day during team training or while they’re getting a mission Lance is just being Lance and making jokes and whatever but Keith is a little grump and makes the side comment “don’t you have a mute-button or something” not thinking anything of it but it hits Lance hard and he just stops talking. He usually doesn’t let comments like that upset him because he knows what he went through and is just glad that he can talk but it hurts coming from Keith so he just stops talking all over again. And Keith doesn’t know why because he didn’t mean to hurt Lance - he would never mean to hurt Lance - and he doesn’t know how to fix it. And Hunk is pissed af which is hella scary

and I have no idea how I want this to end but I really want to write it

UPDATE: (bc people are actually seeing this???) I wrote it!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/9192059
4

This blink and you’ll miss it shot kills me.

Sam, who has just been held down by these guys and force fed demon blood against his will proceeds to beat them up and makes them leave the bar. Sam, who has a history throughout the show of being forced into doing shit he doesn’t want to do, and having his choices taken away from him, is rightfully furious about what has happened. We see this anger in the first GIF. But then, that anger slowly trickles away and he turns back to meet the gaze of the girl he met, and what is that anger replaced with? SHAME. Sam Winchester, the boy who doesn’t have a bad bone in his body, feels shame for an act that another group of humans forced him into. They antagonised him. They attacked him. They held him down. They fed him that blood. But Sam is the one who can’t look her in the eye. Sam is the one who probably has unimaginably negative thoughts of himself going through his head, because we all know how little self-worth he has, coupled with an equally low opinion of himself to match. He thinks that all of this was his fault, and that hurts. It’s all there in his expression, so kudos to Jared for this scene, it’s beautiful.

hey yall

lucretias one job was to write. she was there to record their journey. she wrote down everything. with two hands in two note books. she wrote SO MUCH. she spent so much time detailing specific plant life and every detail she could get down in those journals
and then
then she fed all of her hard work to the voidfish
gone
erased
she wrote for a century and then essentially dropped it into a paper shreader and burned the scraps

BTS Reaction to: Their girlfriend making them breakfast in the morning

Author’s note: I had way too much fun writing this. x 


Seokjin: 

Originally posted by theseoks

He frowned when he saw that the bed beside him was empty. Where were you? He sat up straight in bed, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. He moved to the side to get out of bed when he saw you walking in with a tray of breakfast. A happy smile spread across his face as you placed the tray on his lap, flashing him a shy smile as you mumbled, 

“I thought I’d make you breakfast, since you always do that for me." 

Seokjin pulled you in for a kiss as he brushed your messy hair out of your face. Looking you in the eyes as he said, 

"Thank you Jagi, you’re the best.” You sat down next to him as he fed you some of the berries, sharing the delicious breakfast you had prepared for him with you. 


Yoongi: 

Originally posted by jeonbase

He’d pretend that it wasn’t a big deal. That it was common for you to make him breakfast, but when you flashed him a shy smile as you handed him the plate he couldn’t pretend anymore. A gummy smile appeared on his face as he felt his heart flutter. Sure you had made him breakfast before but he still appreciated it when you did. It made him feel loved that you would get up early just to make him food. He pulled you onto his lap as he pressed kisses all over your face, making you giggle. 

“Thank you baby, now let’s eat.” 

You and Yoongi happily ate the food you made as he watched you eat with him. Not long after you finished eating you snuggled up underneath the sheets again. Ready to spend a day cuddled up in bed.  


Hoseok: 

Originally posted by mygukie

He made his way down the stairs as the delicious smell of pancakes filled his nostrils. As soon as he walked into the kitchen he saw you standing in front of the stove, baking pancakes. A smile spread across his face as he wrapped his arms around your waist, nuzzling his nose against your neck. 

“Morning baby.”

“Hm morning. Did you sleep well?" 

Hoseok pressed a kiss against your neck in response as he looked at you baking the pancakes. It didn’t take you very long to finish baking and soon you were sitting at the kitchen table, happily eating the pancakes together. Hoseok took another bite as he mumbled, 

"Thank you baby.” You laughed at him before giving him a kiss. 

“You’re very welcome." 


Namjoon: 

Originally posted by btsreaction-s

He got back at 3 am last night, so when you woke up you decided to spoil him a little since he always worked so hard. You had just finished plating up when he walked into the kitchen, still rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. The delicious smell of the food caused him to look up, only to see the breakfast you made. A wide smile spread across his face as he walked towards you. He took your face between his hands as he pressed his lips to yours, giving you a soft kiss. 

"Thank you baby. I really don’t know what I’d do without you." 

You blushed at his words before shyly handing him the plate. Namjoon chuckled at your shyness before kissing your cheek, your forehead and eventually your noise. You squealed as you pulled back, making him laugh as you sat down on the couch. Namjoon moved so you were sitting in between his legs as you happily ate your breakfast together. Already thinking of a way to thank you for taking such good care of him. 


Jimin: 

Originally posted by luvisnotoverjims

This precious little bean would laugh shyly as he saw you walking in with breakfast. You’d been trying to come up with something to thank him and when you saw that he was still peacefully asleep when you woke up, you decided making breakfast would be the way to do it. He pressed his plush lips to yours as he mumbled, 

"I love you." 

You smiled brightly before pecking him on the lips again and digging in. Jimin wrapped his arm around you to pull you closer as you two happily ate the food. Enjoying each other’s company and safe embrace. 

"Thank you baby, really. Thank you." 

You chuckled at his words before pressing your lips back to his. Jimin laughed in response as he pulled you down with him, happily kissing you. 


Taehyung: 

Originally posted by kookieinfirestae

Taehyung’s heart would melt when he saw you walking in the delicious food you made. He’d immediately sit up straight, a boxy smile on his face as he licked his lips at the sight. He grabbed your arm and pulled you down onto the bed. You squealed in surprise as he started to tickle your sides. You squirmed underneath him as you tried to get away from his tickling fingers. Taehyung laughed as he pulled back, only to lay down on top of you as he pressed his soft lips against yours. You happily kissed him back as you tangled one of your hands in his hair. Suddenly his stomach started growling, making both of you laugh. He pressed one last kiss to your lips before sitting up and starting to eat.  

"Hm baby this is delicious! Thank you so much!" 

He beamed happily as he pressed another kiss to your lips before taking another bite. Yes he was very happy that you made him breakfast and would make sure to show you just how grateful he was. 


Jungkook: 

Originally posted by officialwookkibby

Jungkook was a heavy sleeper, so he didn’t hear you walking into his bedroom with the pancakes you made. You placed the plates on the nightstand before straddling his waist and kissing him all over his face. After a few seconds he started to squirm underneath you as a warm smile spread across his face. He wrapped his arms around you as he sighed happily.

"I can get used to waking up like this.”

You laughed at his words as you moved off of him, making him whine.

“Why did you go?" 

"Because I made you breakfast.”

His eyes widened when he noticed the pancakes on the nightstand as he looked at you like a deer caught in the headlight. Not long after that a big smile spread across his face as he pulled you close again, this time kissing you all over your face. You giggled at the feeling of his lips on your face before you pulled him back. Handing him the plate as you two started eating. He happily ate the pancakes as he occasionally stole glances at you. Right then he realized that he might actually love you.

Uncle Gerry’s Family Fun Zone

by reddit user Red_Grin

This is a lengthy story but it is worth it:

I didn’t know Will could draw, I remember thinking as my friend’s hand quickly moved across the page. And then I looked more closely at Will’s impromptu sketch, and I immediately regretted it. I tried to unsee it. I shifted my attention to other things around me, anything at all that wasn’t ink on the page: the blur of Will’s hand, the beads of sweat gathering at his temples, the gentle autumn breeze creeping through the crack of the window.

Don’t look at the page. Just don’t look at it.

But I knew I had to. So I looked. And it was worse than I expected. Much worse.

Keep reading

Cesar Millan is a Hack and Everything You Know is Wrong

Well, probably not everything, but there are some serious issues in the dog training world right now and with the advent of t.v shows about dog training and social media it’s getting out of control. 

First off, why call out Cesar Millan?

Because he’s one of the driving forces behind every misconception I’m about to lay out before you. In a nutshell, he has no understanding of dog behavior, he touts himself as a dog behaviorist when the only actual education on dogs he’s had is being a dog groomer, his training methods are misguided at best and abusive at worst. Most actual canine professionals can’t stand him for these reasons. Many, many professionals have written articles roasting him yet he still manages to hang on to his persona of ‘dog whisperer’ because people who don’t know any better mistake his pseudoscience for fact. 

What pseudoscience? Let’s start with the absolute core of his, and many other misguided understandings of dog psychology: The dominance theory.

I hear it all the fucking time. At the dog park “Suzy, get down! Lol sorry, she’s just so dominant” “Aw, he’s so submissive!” “Cody is an alpha, so he’ll try to dominate other dogs at first”. It all makes me want to rip my teeth out with rusty iron chopsticks. Where did people get this idea that dogs naturally fall into dominant or submissive categories? This bullshit all started with, well, bullshit. 

In 1974 a man named Rudolf Schenkel decided to study the social structure and behavior of wolf packs not by, idk, observing them in the wild, but by taking random adults from random packs and throwing them into the same zoo enclosure. Real scientific, right? He created the Alpha-Omega (I.E. Dominant/submissive) structure from the ensuing chaos he observed. In his paper, the man constantly compares dogs and wolves and this became an often sited work in studying dog behavior. In reality, wolves do have a complex social structure but it’s more easily compared to a family dynamic because essentially that’s what it is. This isn’t even that relevant to dog training, however, as dogs and wolves behave very differently. (This is, by the way, why the keeping of wolf dogs is extremely difficult and should only be done by professionals). Despite being debunked numerous times, this study continues to be used as a foundation of many dog training methods, and has been taken to truly bizarre and even sickening levels. 

Check out these nuggets of “information” from a popular dog website. Not only is it dripping with completely unfounded dominance bullshit, but it also pushes the idea (as does Cesar) that dogs have a pack mentality. This isn’t really the case either. Dogs ARE social animals and having a social structure around them is VITAL, but this ‘pack’ mentality is being pushed in an unhealthy way. It follows the dominance theory and states that dogs must find their ‘rank’ in their ‘pack’ and that hyper-romanticized wolf pack structure “rules” must be followed. Here’s a debunking of them:

1. Dogs literally do not care who’s head is higher. This is a classic example of hyper-romanticized wolf behavior and is contracted many times on this site when they assert a small dog can be “dominant” over a big one. 2. Dogs are curious animals and have usually been socialized to think that humans = play and tummy rubs. Your dog is excited and curious about the newcomer and, if not trained otherwise wants to investigate (and possibly get those tummy rubs) asap. 3. More romanticized nonsense. If your dog acts adversely to being moved from where she’s resting, it’s because of a training issue (and likely lack of proper socialization) and not because she’s being “dominant”. 

1. Dogs do not have starring contests. Looking away while being stared at isn’t your dog “submitting” to you. It’s a sign that the dog is uncomfortable and I would be too if someone was engaged me in an impromptu staring contest. It’s that dog’s way of saying “dude, can we not do this?” Also another behavior that I’ve seen people interpret as ‘submission’; opening the mouth and/or panting. This is indicative of stress. Think of how you might begin to sweat if you’re stressed. Same basic principle. 2. Dogs want to sleep in bed with you because the bed is comfortable and they like being around you. The position literally does not matter, though you may want to make the bed invitation only just as a general part of training. 3. This is a matter of preference. Personally, I allow my dogs to roughhouse with me and me alone because I don’t mind it and I can teach them a biting threshold so that they never hurt me. I find this lays a good foundation to make sure they’re gentle when I train them to bring me things, etc. 

Ever seen a kid fall down, but not start crying until his mom freaks out? Same basic principal applies here. Your dog isn’t “instinctively understanding you’re the alpha”. You’re projecting confidence and because your dog looks to you to help her understand the world, you’re making her feel safe and assured. On the other hand, if you act fearful, like the kid who looks to his mom after he fell, your dog will look to you and see that something is not right and it’s time to be fearful. “Mom is upset and on edge so I should be too!”. 

1. Good feeding habits are a must, but eating before your dog is not. Dogs are not wolves and even wild wolves (and lions for that matter) the leader usually eats first along with the pups/cubs and they usually don’t eat their fill before the others are allowed to eat. 2. Appearing to eat out of his bowl is completely unnecessary and is usually only done when trying to correct resource guarding behaviors. 3. There’s a difference between begging for food/being disruptive and not even allowed to be excited to eat. This is the line that made me want to punch this woman in the face. Imagine being psychologically abused to the point where a dog isn’t even allowed to wag it’s tail when it knows it’s about to be fed. A dog who sits down without intensely staring or turns away isn’t being ‘respectful’; in this case it’s likely been abused and is avoiding a stimulus that’s been paired with abuse (the preparation of food). 

Using these methods to train a dog can produce a well behaved dog like child abuse can produce a well behaved child. They may appear to work, but the subject in question will not be happy or well adjusted. 

Why do people keep flocking to this bullshit? For the same reason they love to reblog outlandish “facts” on this hellsite (Like, does anyone else remember that “did you know” post that claimed there was a recessive gene that made a woman’s eyes purple, have no period yet be fertile, and grow no body hair? Seriously) and unfortunately some people flat out use it to justify abusing their dogs. It puts people as the “alpha” and makes them feel powerful. It sounds scientific to people who don’t know any better. Mr. Dog-groomer chinstrap says it’s good on T.V. 

So what’s a better frame of mind to be in when you train dogs? Remember there’s no one set of ‘rules’ that will result in the perfectly trained dog and remember that every dog is different. Do all the research you can and remember your dog is…a dog. Your dog is not going to plot vengeance, nor is it always going to understand things that seem perfectly logical to you. Be patient, ask for help if you need it, don’t lose your shit, and again, learn absolutely everything you can.