down with cancer

the signs as fake quotes my weird cousin has attributed to famous authors

aries: as oscar Wilde once famously said, ‘fuck men’

taurus: i believe it was percy shelley who wrote ‘why cry over spilled milk when instead u could cry over everything

gemini: you can lead a horse to water, but u can’t make the horse drink that fucking water if it wants vodka instead. sun tzu said that.

cancer: y’know, steinbeck once screamed ‘death to capitalism’ while setting himself on fire, and i couldn’t agree more.

leo: i was trying to think of a hemingway quote, but thankfully i just remembered that i don’t give a shit about hemingway

virgo: Flintstone vitamins are for losers. William shakespeare.

libra: did you know that that nicki minaj took the lyrics “i beez in the trap” straight from jane austen’s iconic 1813 novel pride and Prejudice?

scorpio: maya angelou actually invented the acronym NSFW, did u know that? 'Not Safe From Whites’. they’re coming

sagittarius: the most inspirational thing walt whitman ever said was ‘dance like nobody’s watching’ that man was a poet

capricorn: ‘be there or be…gay! lol jk don’t be gay’ ~ the bible, chapter 5 verse 17

aquarius: honey, as Faulkner said once, ‘eat shit mark twain’. words to live by

pisces: nietzsche once said that dante was a ‘hyena that wrote poetry on tombs’ and i’m not making that shit up because nothing is funnier than that

things the signs love
  • Aries: To feel wanted. Baby animals, (especially kittens). Corny gifts. Stability. Forehead kisses. Red lipstick. Deep and meaningful conversations. Vodka. Mutual feelings. Drunk texts. Holding hands. Hot showers. Comedy movies. Someone that will make them better as a person (although not always what they settle for) Milo.
  • Taurus: Traveling. roller coasters. commitment. neck kisses. fun dates. comfort snacks. peanut butter. watching horror movies with a significant other. warm, fluffy towels. buying pointless things. late night tumblr sessions. stuffed animals. meaningful letters. getting dressed up. bubble baths. forest. rain and storms.
  • Gemini: make out sessions. instagram. feeling wanted. cute dates. tall boys/short girls. fluffy rugs. romance movies. collecting random things. messy rooms. wine. conversations about sex. being made feel special. driving with the windows down
  • Cancer: smalls animals. silk pyjamas. pretty things. flowers. cute lingerie. vanilla milkshakes. buying expensive makeup. stuff that smells good. fan-girling over celebs. late night netflix. pizza. roller skating.
  • Leo: night drives. fairy lights. soft, worn in hoodies. stars. instagram. fireworks. soft cheek kisses. bear hugs. stomach butterflies. giving advice. salted caramel. champagne. amusement parks
  • Virgo: face masks. commitment. dogs. turning up music loud while driving. disney movies. feeling acknowledged. sound of rain. music. shooting stars. black and white photographs. fashion. 
  • Libra: candles. fireworks. bonfires. commitment. romance novels. big animals. warm houses. skinny jeans. drinking with friends. salt and vinegar chips. sending ugly picture to friends. lip syncing beyonce or justin beiber. smell of books. dogs. the milky way. 
  • Scorpio: Cold drinks. full bank account. adrenaline rushes. deep, passionate kisses. warm socks. inside jokes. staring. hand written letters. sarcasm. movies (scorpios are movie freaks) soapy showers. 
  • Sagittarius: horror movies with friends. weed. photography. architecture. gossip. classy outings. sarcasm. face and body products. reaching high levels on video games. sassy remarks. traveling. cactuses. piercings. adventure. croissants
  • Capricorn: expensive makeup. feeling wanted. photo booths. clean houses. clouds. sarcasm. dirty jokes. sparklers. green grass. festivals. drunk texting. pretty underwear. boy bands. late night tumblr sessions. dark lipstick. passionate kissing. 
  • Aquarius: aquariums (who knew) beach bikes. long strolls on beach. sundresses. innocent gossip. booty. late night texting. blasting music in car.  exotic drinks. trampolines. rock jumps. books. christmas lights. pretty views.
  • Pisces: old movies. heart shaped sunglasses. the universe. knitted blankets. shimmery eyeshadow. learning. smell of rain. daydreaming. chill songs. sea shells. drawing. brand new pens. 
Lessons for the Signs
  • Aries: Think before you act. Sometimes, you are too impulsive and make decisions which can affect you negatively. Be selective of who you open to, but don't be scared to open up to people.
  • Taurus: You are smarter than you think you are. Give yourself some credit and try not to be too harsh on yourself. Learn how to vent your anger in a healthy way for yourself and the people around you.
  • Gemini: Make a concious effort to put your best in everything. Leave no room for messy work. Take charge of your own life and let go of others, especially toxic people who are getting you down.
  • Cancer: You need to let things go and remove the guilt you always feel. You need to move in and leave things behind in times of distress. Try to be more confident and believe in yourself. You're stronger than you think you are.
  • Leo: You need to learn how to love yourself without the approval and flattery from other people. Stop heding from yourelf and let yourself shine, without worrying about what other people think. Try to keep an open mind in all aspects.
  • Virgo: You need to understand that nobody is perfect and sometimes it's okay to ask for help when you need it. Embrace people close to you and be more charitable of their flaws. You also need to ube spontaneous once in a while.
  • Libra: You neeed to cut out toxic people from your life, for the betterment of yourself. You have to take charge of yourself and make decisions. However, try not be someone who you are not. You are going to just end up wasting your time.
  • Scorpio: Stop pushing people who love you away. You need to understand that relationships with other people are very important, and pushing people away will just hurt you. Try to admit when you're wrong. This will help you improve as a person.
  • Sagittarius: Stop biting off more than you can chew. This can make you very overwhelmed. Make fewer plans and stick by it. If something really bothers you, talk about it and let it out. Find your balance in your life.
  • Capricorn: You need to trust others and open up about your emotions. Let them know how you feel, and people will appreciate you in return. Sometimes, you also need to take some risks once in a while.
  • Aquarius: Don't bottle up your emotions inside. It isn't good for your health. Be honest more often, even though it can be hard. Start to embrace people as they are and your life will improve tremendously.
  • Pisces: You need to reliaze you're not alone. There are a lot of people who go through the same thing as you do. Don't feel like you are burdening others with your problems. You are allowed to have friends.
Don’t

Don’t mess with an Aries’ emotions

Don’t cross a Taurus

Don’t belittle a Gemini

Don’t make a Cancer regret loving you 

Don’t play with Leo’s heartstrings

Don’t talk down to a Virgo 

Don’t tear down a Libra’s dreams

Don’t fight a Scorpio

Don’t hold a Sagittarius back

Don’t bring up a Capricorn’s past

Don’t overshadow an Aquarius

Don’t make a Pisces furious

  • Aries: I want
  • Taurus: I acquire
  • Gemini: I think
  • Cancer: I feel
  • Leo: I do
  • Virgo: I arrange
  • Libra: I harmonize
  • Scorpio: I transform
  • Sagittarius: I understand
  • Capricorn: I identify
  • Aquarius: I dream
  • Pisces: I believe
How The Signs Will Die
  • Aries: Dead from the beginning
  • Taurus: Stabbed through by their enemy
  • Gemini: Tripping down a flight of stairs
  • Cancer: Pushed into lava
  • Leo: Protecting their best friend
  • Virgo: Fakes own death, is actually still living happily
  • Libra: Death by lovesickness
  • Scorpio: Doesn't die, just... disappears
  • Sagittarius: Murdered by a superior
  • Capricorn: Rightfully murdered
  • Aquarius: Sawed in half
  • Pisces: Murdered by ex-lover

An Aquarius was throwing and making a mess in his own room after he found out that she, his girlfriend, had finally moved on without him. I looked as he cuss and threw away some of the mementos of her, and finally stopped when he found an old photo of them together at a photobooth. He sat down and started to burst into tears. “If only.. If only I told her everything, and hadn’t kept it all in, maybe she would’ve stayed..” he said through the tears.

An Aries looked through his twitter and found a picture of his ex with someone else, he let out a soft chuckle. “Oh shit..” he laughed, and slowly he stood up and continued to laugh. “Look at this. Look at her.. Oh, she’s.. she’s fucking hilarious.” He slowly started to laugh so hard, and I watched as he began to shake and slowly made his way to the balconey and started to scream about her, just screamed her name and called her names and how he hated her but finally he broke down and cried.

A Cancer started shaking and tries to grab his phone out of our reach. “Please, let me just call her..” we shook all our heads and told him to just stay put. He begged that it’ll be just for tonight. We told him that he has had enough, but he wouldn’t listen. He wanted to call her so bad, but the truth is.. she’s about to have her wedding in a week, and he was going to tell her he still loves her after all these years.

A Capricorn and I were out in mid-town late at night, and he had too much to drink. He sways as he walks, and suddenly one of Bryson Tiller’s songs played through one of the bars nearby and he let go of me and sang through the whole verse. He finally stopped and looked at me and said, “This shit, that’s me. I wished God would saved her for me. That’s it, and fuck.. I’m not really at my best at the moment, but I loved her.”

A Gemini breath out smoke after inhaling his cigarette and he looked at the city lights from our view. “I miss her..” was all he said, taking another inhale from his cigarette. He looked at me and gave me a small smile and back at view.

A Leo drank with me, and place an arm around my shoulders and said, “I shouldn’t drink too much. These crazy thoughts are hunting me again, and I just want to crush the world. Ha, oh she’s in my head. My ex, you know? She’s in here again and.. fuck! I hate her. I miss her. You know we’re talking again, right but just as "friends”? I want more than that..“ He gave me a small playful slap on the cheek and walked to get another drink. It’s going to be a long night.

A Libra rushed to her house, knocking at her apartment door. But it was locked. Ran back downstairs and started calling her name out her window, trying to get her attention. She finally opened the window and told him to leave. I watched from the car, as he asked for her forgiveness. She shook her head and said it was too late for him.

A Pisces admitted to me how he still thinks about his ex, and how he still calls out her name and how his mind would play memories of her every single day. He can’t stand the nights because his mind would play her, her voice, her smile, the way she would call him everyday and she was his rock. As he sits here with me, tears roll down his cheek and he said, "Now here I am still holding on to her, just waiting for a sign that maybe she’d come back, and maybe we can try again.. but also maybe she’s with someone else, who.. who treats her well than I could’ve had and.. I want her to be happy, I do, but I wish.. right now.. she could be happy with me, and I am so selfish for it..”

A Sagittarius once said that he used to think too much about the relationship and how every time he was with her he would start to overthink every scenario of how she would leave him, and he would tell her and she would shook her head and promised him she would never leave… and now that she’s gone he still can’t stop thinking about her..

A Scorpio said to me, “I’m just not too sure if I could ever ask her to come back. I really messed up, you know? I could try, but would she ever give me another chance to prove to her my real worth? Can she really do that..?” I was a little loss for words. Knowing Scoprio and how he is, he seemed to be really serious about her. I just didn’t know what to say.

A Taurus and I passed by a coffee shop and he paused and peered through and saw his ex with someone else, and she’s laughing and holding this man’s hand. He gritted his teeth and his fist clenched. I put a hand on his shoulder and told him to let it go. It’s been years since they’ve together and been a two years after their break up. He slowly looked down in defeat and sighed. He walked off ahead of me..

A Virgo and I were driving out late one night around the city, and all the songs he played were just old, sad R&B music and I would watch him from time to time as he mumbled some of the lyrics to himself and would let out a small smirk when the singer goes and says, “I love you and miss you..” and he shook his head. We pulled up to a parking lot, and he got out and looked at me and said, “I do miss her, but do you think she misses me..?”

—  Regrets..
12 is My Lucky Number

An Aries taught me how to love when all hope was lost;
A Taurus taught me how to fight, no matter what the cost.

A Gemini taught me how to laugh whenever I feel down;
A Cancer taught me how there’s many
ways to cure a frown.

A Leo taught me how to dance like I don’t care about tomorrow;
A Virgo taught me how to listen through all the pain & sorrow.

A Libra taught me how to be a great friend through it all;
A Scorpio taught me how to get myself back up when I fall.

A Sagittarius taught me how to live and accept life’s full embrace;
A Capricorn taught me to keep going,
even when they’re laughing in my face.

An Aquarius taught me how to believe in a world bigger than this;
A Pisces taught me that true love is pure bliss.

why the signs are sad
  • <p> <b>Aries:</b> Is extremely independent so all they know is to pile way too much pressure on themselves. They end up doubting their own abilities and are often never comforted because they're always perceived as energetic & optimistic.<p/><b>Taurus:</b> Everyone depends on them because of their trustworthy demeanour. This means they bear the burden of their own and other peoples issues. Because of their stable nature, changes/natural stress can result in crippling anxiety.<p/><b>Gemini:</b> Is determined to keep up their bubbly façade. They try drown their own issues out with good times & long talks so they're never alone with their own thoughts. Nobody knows about the internal identity crisis that is destroying them from the inside out.<p/><b>Cancer:</b> Tearing themselves apart trying to decide what they want in life. They dwell on the past and constantly can't decide between their resentments and their fears. Theses contradictions often prove to be too hard to handle and make them prone to breakdowns.<p/><b>Leo:</b> Always worried about what the world thinks of them. They hide it well but they are very sensitive to the slightest comments & their ego is insatiable, often requiring them to over-think things and question themselves. Sadly, Leos value their dignity fiercely and will suffer in silence to keep their pride intact.<p/><b>Virgo:</b> Their thirst for knowledge and order have them constantly over-analysing every situation. Their brain is always striving for a purpose so without being assured that they are essential to someone, they can be left feeling useless & dejected. Barely anyone can sense their struggles because they are so detached. They appear cold and unapproachable when they are actually afraid of being hurt/rejected.<p/><b>Libra:</b> Consistently seeking peace and acceptance. They give themselves endlessly trying to make others happy and in the end are left asking who they really are. Because of this, they lack self-confidence and desperately try complete themselves through the approval of others. They're always tired from trying to prove themselves but just can't will themselves to stop.<p/><b>Scorpio:</b> Nearly always misunderstood. This aspect combined with their hesitance to trust leaves them with few people they can confide in. They're very picky with who knows what about them because they feel secure with full control over a situation. When something goes wrong within their plan, they are intensely anxious over the result and keep their strong fear of failure hidden from everyone. They're so bottled up that their emotions can hit them like a brick wall at any point, leaving them broken with nobody to talk to.<p/><b>Sagittarius:</b> Barely ever gets sad. So energetic and enthusiastic that they feel held back by emotional obligations and attachments. They perceive sad spells as wastes of energy and prefer to be seeking knowledge and exploring their world. On the rare occasion they are sad, it's probably because of another persons selfish actions, still, their hurt won't last long and they'll come back learning a lot from the experience.<p/><b>Capricorn:</b> Constantly tiring themselves out while they try to prove themselves. Underneath their strong, collected exterior is an uninterrupted feeling that they are unworthy. Because they seek structure and approval, they need to be told that they are appreciated to sense the security they seek. Without acknowledgement from people around them they become vulnerable and will only continue to blame themselves.<p/><b>Aquarius:</b> Seemingly above emotions. They are driven by their intellect and will see things for what they are instead of over-thinking something and unnecessarily making themselves sad. Often, they will take the criticism and disagreements of others personally and with offence but the dejection usually won't last long. Their biggest weakness is their detachment from others. This can lead to a disregard for other peoples feelings and eventually their own. Can be in denial about their sadness for a long time before they seek help.<p/><b>Pisces:</b> Has a knack for making things worse for themselves. Their sensitivity and loyalty often has them suffering for the sake of the people they love and leaving themselves no choice but to escape their own problems. Inside, their emotions are often extreme and conflicting so when they finally feel the weight of their issues, the aftermath can be severe. Their escapist ways of self-indulgence and procrastination only serve to amplify their sadness and unless they're constantly stimulated by their situation, they can dangerously spiral into a routine of self-pity & negligence.<p/></p>

I watched as an Aquarius fell to her knees and begged for someone else to come back into her life. Seeing this side of her is something new to me. She always had her head and shoulders up and carried herself proudly, and “No” was not part of her vocabulary. She was known to be strong and proud, but to see her walls break it’s just a mess.

I got a call from an Aries asking to get picked up at a party. Watched her as she got in and started to ramble on about her night. Her boyfriend cheated on her and she laughed it off and told me it was his lost. A couple minutes in the ride; she stared out of the window and started to cry. “What’s wrong with me..” she turned and asked me with tears streaming down her face.

A Cancer invited me out for dinner and I arrived at the spot. She eagerly ran to me and jumped into my arms, she hugged me so tightly and then slowly let go and led me to the dinner table. We laughed and joked for hours. She was so vibrant and she cling to every word I’ve said the whole night. She didn’t want the night to be over. I told her I was heading back to watch some movies on Netflix. She invited herself over.

A Capricorn gently placed her hand in mine. A small smile on her face and our eyes met. The train’s sound went away and the crowds felt nonexistent. She slowly leaned her head on my shoulder and pulled herself closer to me. She was gentle and she was calm.

A Gemini called me asking for advice: “The only problem is that I am free. I don’t feel like I’m being smothered by these feelings, and I have no time for this. How can I even deal with this?” She asked and asked, and the more she asked the more she realized her answer. She doesn’t want to feel too pressured, no restraints like the wind.

A Leo placed her hands on my cheeks and and looked me in the eyes: “You did this to yourself. You lost me because you can’t do one simple thing, and that was for you to not like pictures other than mine.” She had a stern look on her face and she slowly push my face away and left me, standing. She turned back and had this smile on her face. “You lost someone who was willing to do everything in her power for you..” and never came back.

A Libra held the bouqet of flowers I sent her and she smiled like so happily, like a child getting their favorite gift on Christmas. She was so giddy and she was so happy, that she kissed me passionately and stared back at the flowers at awe.

A Pisces came into my life and drowned me with such passion and romance. Everything felt like a fairytale. She dreamt of things that were so unreal, but to her, she was going to make it all come true.

A Sagittarius never left my side when I was going through a tough time. She was always there when you least expect it, and that was her way of showing how much she cared for me. She was always saying these smart things which were true, but I was too stubborn to listen to her; yet she continues to preach and demand that I start something new for myself.

A Scorpio was on the phone with me a couple nights back spilling some hard problems to swallow. She loved this man. She was torn, she was lost. She has never felt like this for anyone before and she was scared. I’ve known her for years and to see her scared was something new.

A Taurus dragged me all around the downtown. We went to the mall, an abandoned building, a beautiful house, a music store, a sex shop and last a diner downtown. She finally explained as to why she brought me along with her and why she felt the need to show me. These were the places she finds herself in and who she is and each one she based it off as her as a whole. She laughed and told me how silly it was of her to do so, and I told her she was amazing for that. She blushed and asked if I was being serious. I was. She expects me to show her reflections of me around the city.

A Virgo sat me with on the couch and we talked for hours and hours to no end. We laughed and smoked, and drank coffee. She slowly shifted herself to me and she kissed me, softly. I watched her and she smiled. She said, “Look at me. Do you see what you’re doing to me. I have never felt this way before and you coming into my life means a lot to me.. I hope you will never change because I won’t. Let’s continue to grow as one, and please, don’t you ever leave me..“

—  Happenings
Lessons for the Signs

Aries: Think before you act. Sometimes, you are too impulsive and make decisions which can affect you negatively. Be selective of who you open to, but don’t be scared to open up to people.

Taurus: You are smarter than you think you are. Give yourself some credit and try not to be too harsh on yourself. Learn how to vent your anger in a healthy way for yourself and the people around you.

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