down to the details

There’s an article making the rounds that I can’t reblog because I’m blocked, but it’s by Tim Canova, attacking the DNC and Debbie Wasserman Schultz (literally the only things he ever talks about.) Canova is a Seth Rich conspiracy theorist who had his ass handed to him in his 2016 primary race against Schultz. He demanded a televised debate with her, and he got his wish. The debate showed Schultz knew every microscopic detail of her district, down to high school principles, and Canova couldn’t answer any questions unless they could be answered with platitudes about single payer. The most hilarious part was the people afterwards who said the DNC should remove her from congress, proving once again that people have no idea what the DNC is if they think it can remove an elected official.

The Dress That Changed My Life

Linda Evangelista recalls the dress that she’ll never forget.

Harper’s Bazaar US November 2017 Issue. By Linda Evangelista, on 23 October 2017

I wore this John Galliano dress on the January 1995 cover of Harper’s Bazaar. The cover was shot by Patrick Demarchelier at his studio in New York, and we pretty much replicated the look from the Galliano show in Paris but without the veil. At the time I was modeling full-time, living between L.A. and New York, and traveling a lot to Europe, so it was hectic. But I loved my life—loved it. I absolutely adored my job, and I’ve always said that it’s a dream to do what I do for a living. I don’t remember that much from back then; everything is fuzzy. The best person to speak to about those days is Naomi [Campbell]. She remembers everything right down to the detail. Call her.

But I do remember the fitting for the Galliano show. When I saw this dress on the rack being wheeled in, I started hyperventilating. Early on I learned not to have any expectations, as you don’t always get the best dress or the best look in the show. And you don’t always get to open or close the show, so closing was an honor. I couldn’t have imagined a more beautiful dress. I’m not even a yellow person, but wearing this was one of the most sensational things that has ever happened to me. I loved everything about it. It was sophisticated, it was flirty, it was fun. It was retro, it was modern. I do love a full-on gown where you get to see the ankle. It had every element for me. I also loved the show and the energy. It was a very exciting moment in fashion, and the audience was just as excited. I didn’t know it was going to be like that, but when I walked out and felt that energy it was magical.          

It was so nice when Bazaar asked me to do the cover, as I did feel like this was my dress. I would’ve been sad to see someone else wearing it. I see girls now, if they go to Disneyland or at Halloween, they want to be a princess or dress as the fairy-tale movie heroine of the moment; for me, this was like, “Oh, my God, this is a fairy-tale dress, and I get to wear it on the cover of and take it to the next level.”

Before this dress I had never owned any couture. Karl [Lagerfeld] had given me some Chanel things, but I never had a couture gown. John gave it to me. I don’t remember exactly how it went down, but it was shipped to me. The thing took up a lot of square footage. It was tremendous, and I never knew where to put it, so it ended up in my bedroom on a mannequin. But it made me so happy because every morning when I woke up, the first thing I saw was this joyful, sunshiny-yellow dress. I had it for years, and then it started to look like maybe it was too fragile to be exposed. I thought, “Okay, I’m going to box it up,” and then I thought, “What am I going to do with it?” So I gave it to the Metropolitan Museum of Art. It’ll find its show one day.

That’s the thing about John—he goes full-on, full force, and I find his vision entertaining. I always look forward to discovering whatever trip he’s on. He always has a story for you. When you go to your fitting, he explains to you who you are, where you’ve been, and how you’ve ended up where you are wearing this dress.

I remember this cover shoot being the easiest shoot in the world. Whenever I was told, “You’re shooting with Patrick,” I would always be like, “Yes!” I can’t imagine a more pleasant, fun, and wonderful environment to be in for work. He doesn’t have to do much because he’s Patrick. He doesn’t torture you. It’s not a struggle. Sometimes one has to go through a lot of pain to get their photos, but Patrick just makes everything easy.

But then I’ve always adored fashion. I don’t have a favorite; I love it all, from beautiful gowns to vintage dresses to men’s suits and androgynous stuff. And I love super-feminine pieces. But I don’t have as many clothes as one might imagine, as I wear my things more than once. I don’t wear them as a photo opportunity; I don’t wear them for my followers. I wear them because that’s how I dress in life.

What I love most about fashion, especially when it comes to a heavenly gown like this one, is that it can touch you emotionally and transport you back to a place in time. It means so much more than just something on a hanger.

John Galliano on That Dress

The iconic Linda Evangelista is the muse for all seasons. She closed the show in this dress, one of my favorite moments ever. She owned it, she slayed it, and I have since been told it was a “fashion moment”—my first! This collection was inspired by the exotic exploits of Misia Sert [the Russian-born pianist and close friend of Coco Chanel who held lavish parties at her Paris salon at the height of the Roaring ’20s], and as Linda carved her way through the crowds, no one else existed. Jaws dropped. The audience looked on in awe, but they could only dream. Linda commanded her space like no other. The creative process spontaneously kicked in as it always does with Evangelista. She was in character, melting onto a rusty soldier’s unmade bed surrounded by salty sailors from an imaginary port, and there you have it, the image, captured forever for all to see. The feathers on the bustier were hand-dyed to match the early-morning dew on buttercups, a golden glow only she can work, and she did. Her freshly peroxided hair was a platinum memory of a bygone glamour. Linda, a dear and caring friend, owns this dress. She slept with it at the end of her bed, and I cannot begin to tell you what this means to me.

Taken from Harpersbazaar.com

Photograph by Patrick Demarchelier

Hi! I want to thank every last one of you who sent love and good vibes at the beginning of the month when I was stressed the fuck out by the idea that I might be homeless.

I got a part time job today. I’m also 99% certain I have a place to live (will be 100% this weekend when I get the details ironed out and put down the first month’s rent and deposit). My downstairs neighbor is still a jerk (my floor is shaking right now due to his UNREASONABLY loud music) but at least I know I only have to deal with it for another week.

Day 22! It’s technically past midnight, but I think uploading just a few minutes late isn’t that bad in the long run.

I am not particularly good at drawing fire, and I could’ve gone into better detail with it, but I was down to the wire and felt it was better to simply upload it as-is rather than spend more time fine-tuning it and end up a day behind. Oh well!

I still love drawing this design and probably always will.

→ (Commissions) ←

Deku, once again rendering Todoroki awestruck 

(they’re 2nd years and Deku updated his wall to balance out his motivations)

9

*Denki voice* the only fast thing about those two is their speed during fights

Figure out what you want to do with your life and just do it. Dedicate a separate journal for you to write down all of your goals and detailed steps towards achieving them. Stopping sitting around and half arsing your way through things because you can’t seem to find any direction, because seriously guys, life is what you make it and sometimes you need to get up and force yourself to do the things you know will benefit future you. Things like I’m Still Young or I’m Too Old are out of the question, no matter how old you are, what you study or where you study, use the time you have right now to hustle. I mean really hustle.  Because you don’t want to look back and say you should’ve worked harder, trained harder, tried harder, thought harder, fought harder. Don’t give yourself a reason to have regrets later on in life. 

right so i’m gonna give you a more detailed account of what went down :

so on sunday taylor liked a photo of me and i was S H O O K because she’d never noticed me before, and the next morning i woke up to a message from rn from the night before, asking me for some details (this was all completely confidential). they rung me back and said that they had a secret event they wanted to invite me to on friday. they were very vague about the details so i guessed it was pretty big. so i spent the whole week getting excited and then the friday came and i was dying inside from not telling you guys! but we went to the meeting place that we’d been told to go to (there was a terrible moment when i thought i wasn’t going to make it on time bc i’d gone to the wrong place that was an hour away but thank god we got there) and after queuing for a while we signed confidentiality agreements and gave up our bags and phones. after a lil while we got on a shuttle bus to another secret location and by this point i was like actually d y i n g. we got in, they did some security checks and we went up to the kitchen to get food (taylor’s spotify playlist was on in the background). there were rep m and m’s, rep iced biscuits, cheese and crackers and ofc my fave chicken nuggets (THEY WERE SO GOOD I ATE LIKE 10). i was talking to @auntbeckyisbae and @lovetaylorsmusic (who are so lovely btw) when i spotted scott swift handing out guitar picks and talking to fans. and then tree paine came thru and that was awesome bc it was like all the iconic people were there, and we also saw andrea coming down the stairs and waved. and then suddenly we all got moved through to the living room with candles burning everywhere and cushions on the floor around a chair and a speaker and that was when i let myself get my hopes up that this was a secret session. and then as i was looking at the door i saw a glimpse of red lipstick and shouted so loud and everyone started shouting and screaming support and my queen @taylorswift came in in the most beautiful camouflage patterned dress, with curly hair and these fucking snake boots that slayed me so hard. she introduced herself (ofc) and talked us through what was gonna happen and what we could and couldn’t say and she shouted out all 13 of the countries represented. and then the secret stuff happened that i can’t talk about but i can promise you reputation is a piece of art ; it’s dark, it’s sexy, it’s sharp, it’s emotional and it’s so her. there were songs that had us screaming bc of how witty they were and then THAT song that we all cried at. at one point during the one that made us all cry tay looked at me and smiled and mouthed some of the most emotional lyrics and i d i e d. then we got to read the rep magazines and they were passed around while tay got ready for photos, and then suddenly i was walking in to meet her and i was so nervous and she smiled really big and said ‘hey honey!’ in the brightest voice and i told her i loved her and she said i love you too! and we talked about the cats and she said mere still hates her but loves her bf and we just talked and it was incredible. we took a picture of me hugging her and then my brother got one too, and all too soon it was over and i was walking away and saying bye and thank you. and then we got our merch bags and got on the bus back.

it was the best night of my life.

Autistic Upbringings and Social Feedback

I grew up autistic and undiagnosed. I was generally very well behaved. Adults liked me, because I was honest and well spoken and quiet and thoughtful. Even still I associate the phrase “stop misbehaving” with adults telling me I did wrong. I heard it plenty of times as a younger child. If I had to give an age, I would say age 4-7 especially. Though the same ideas would exist well beyond those ages.

Being autistic, in retrospect I would attribute almost all of this to me not knowing social rules or expectations as a novice human, and missing the more subtle social feedback to hint at it. 

So what would happen? A parent or teacher would tell me that I was misbehaving, that I should stop, and possibly an explanation for what I was doing wrong. I never was one to intentionally act out, so being told that I had done something wrong would result in me crying. This was a recurring theme as a child for me. 

So what did I learn from this type of thing happening so much? I learned that authorities know more about my behavior than me. I learned that the things authority figures tell me about my behavior is correct. I won’t be able to predict when an authority tells me my behavior was ‘wrong’. I won’t be able to predict when my behavior is ‘wrong’.

As an adult I have since learned other lessons which are a healthier way to interact with the world. Even still, sometimes those old ingrained lessons still make themselves be known to my brain and processing. 

When someone asks me a vague question about something I said recently, without making the intention of their inquiry known, I feel these old lessons return. I feel the automatic assumption that I’m being called out for saying/doing the wrong thing. I feel like I’m being accused of something, but I can’t figure out what, and I have to helplessly wait until I’m informed of what my misbehavior was. 

I’m not a very anxious person, but things stemming from the way adults reacted to my behavior as a child, those can still result in something close, even when I logically tell my brain the reasons that fear is wrong this time. It was so solidly ingrained into my brain that my behavior could be unintentionally wrong, that I didn’t get to learn what makes behavior wrong until after the point where I could be free from the lessons I was taught first.

So yes I messed up the clay models of the shore line at high/low tide in kindergarten. Yes that was bad behavior. Why did I do it? It was clay, and in retrospect, stimmy to play with. Was it important to teach me that classroom supplies should be kept in usable condition? Yeah. Was telling me that I did wrong the best way to go about that? I don’t think it was. Instead, empathize with me and say “Yeah, that clay IS fun to play with. It doesn’t look much like the shore anymore though. The next person to learn from it will be confused. Do you think you can help me put this back to how it was, then we can go find some other clay you can play with after?” Ideally with a non-judgmental question to ask me why I did it first, offering a range of possible answers along with an option “other” so I get to think about first. 

Instead, now I have my brain respond to vagueness with the need to defend myself from an uncertain accusation.