down for the bleed

@envy45-weightloss Here’s a pic AND something that makes me happy: fire escape weather. Everyone on my block is out, there’s an ice cream truck whose jingle hasn’t gotten annoying quite yet, and I’m drinking sangria in the sun! (Also if you have live camera on it creates a gif when you upload to tumblr, who knew!?)

Instead of cardio today, I tried out my recovery IDOL @oatsnjen‘s dumbbell booty workout (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kiyHKWooh4U) it was tough as nails and I noticed the whole gym checking out my killer glutes. Or so I thought. Turns out I was sweating so hard my hair dye melted down my face and it looked like I was bleeding from my head. OHWELL! #fitness

@armsintheair @unfcking @one-forty-five @curvykawaii let’s see some faces!

There’s more paradise in hell than we’ve been told,
And every step we take we start from blue,
Lie down and bleed into the waterhole,
And so the night it will in time unfold,
curled up inside my palm and sleeping too,
There’s more paradise in hell than we’ve been told,
From your lashes tumble stars of gold,
Starlashes, little splashes of dew,
spill across the world and through my soul,
I’ll call your tiny animals to the drinking hole,
Little cat, little bear,
Little firehorse, little kangaroo,
There’s more paradise in hell than we’ve been told,
Little cat, little firehorse with her shivering foal,
Curled in my demon palm and dreaming too,
And all across the world the night the unfolds,
And all across the night and through my soul,
For every step we take we start from blue,
Fresh tears bleed into the waterhole,
There’s more paradise in hell than we’ve been told.
—  Nick Cave

I’m just super fucking bitter that once the flint water crisis got it’s 15 minutes of fame people stopped giving a shit. The water is still poisoned, people! Donations have plummeted and people have been forced back into drinking and bathing with the water! The medical effects of this are astounding, cases of legionnaires disease have skyrocketed, people are having seizures, people are having weird rashes break out over their body, people (including me!) are having their blood poisoned, and it’s not just lead! it’s coliform bacteria! it’s THMs! it’s all in the water and it gets into the bloodstream and breaks down blood vessels, causing bruising and petechiae and internal bleeding and no one gives a shit anymore and it’s only gotten worse like how many people are going to have to die until people realize this is still a problem

  • Pete: Hi
  • Brendon: it was the summer of 2001, and Joe meets Patrick and he's like "yo, I know about music." then Patrick's like "yo I know more about music!" "that's impossible. so you wanna start a band?" and Patrick's like, "yeah that's cool." and then, he's like "yo this is a book store not a music store." and then they met at Patrick's house. so Patrick's wearing shorts, socks, and a hat. Patrick is playing drums for some fuckin' reason and then Pete's there for some reason. and they start playing music together and they're like "oh, let's play some covers from some other bands." it was like Green Day, and fuckin' Misfits, and fuckin' Ramones. Pete said to Joe, "yo, that's dope, but we need a fuckin' drummer." because Patrick's playing drums and he's a singer. Patrick's like "yo, I got a soul voice," and they're like "wait how do you have a soul voice?" and he's like "yo, watch this: YEEEEEEeeeeeeEEEEEEeeeeeeeeEEEeeeeeeAAAAAAAAaaaaAAaahhh!" and they're like, "oh my god, that sounds like soul!" so they put it in a song, and it was like, "WHERE IS YOUR BOY TONIIIIIIIiiiiiIIIIIIIIIiiiIIIIIIIGHT?!" and they're like "yo that's fuckin perfect, this is Fall Out Boy." and they made records like Evening Out With Your Ex-Girlfriend. Evening Out With Your Ex-Girlfriend, everybody loves it. "it's called Evening Out With Your Girlfriend." with your ex-girlfriend. it's called evening out with your Ex-girlfriend. it's called eating out your girlfriend, and it's real and it doesn't matter. and Pete talked to Patrick and Joe and he's like "you what the fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. yo, this is gonna be fuckin' doooooooooope!" so they made a record and it was called Take this to Your Grave. they made it without a drummer, and they had like 3—4 drummers come in. The four drummers they had come in were like Josh Freese, Neil Pert, the dude from Toto, the fourth one was like the guy from Papa Roach or something, and they're like "you, we need Andy Hurley. Andy Hurley. Take This to Your Grave. Fuckin' record it." and he did, and he killed it, and he was like "bigidalililililillillilila, PSHHH!" killin' the skin, tapping the skins, tapping the rim, playin' the shit, killing these bitches, rapping it out. you're getting a fucking tattoo right now?! what the fuck is going on?! We should get signed to Fueled By Ramen, 'cause thee guys know what the fuck is going on. and they were like "yo, if you can make our scene any bigger than it is, which is not fuckin' hard, we will sign you guys." and Pete was like "yo, we got this record that's fuckin' dooooooope, dude, it's called Take This to Your Grave, it's called From Under the Cork Tree it's gonna be fucking huge." and then Patrick's like "I gotta keep it real, I gotta keep it artistic, these are three songs that are gonna make the album and it's called-BURP-Thnks Fr th Mmrs, 20 Dollar Nose Bleed, and Sugar, Were Goin' Down. and they made this record that was fuckin' dope, and it fucking hit on the charts like one two three, three two one, three four five six seven eight nine ten. ten to one. From Under the Cork Tree sold like four million records. ten million records. fifteen million records. and Brendon Urie had nothing to do with the entire record. and Patrick was like "that's gooooOOOOoooooOOOOOOOOd." Pete was like, "yo, fuck you I can do whatever I want." and Joe was like, "yeah it's cool man whatever I don't give a shit." and then Andy was like "eh, cool." and Pete was like "Make up is fuckin' great for a guy. because it makes a guy look beautiful, which a lot of times, a guy is not beautiful. and I wanna change that. I wanna make sure everyone thinks that guys are beautiful." I'm good so far yeah. yeah I do. SHUT THE FUCK. oh fuck, alright alright. Pete was like "oh my god, I'm so embarrassed about this dick pic." and then I saw the dick pic and was like "ah it's not bad." it's not a bad dick. let's be real. we made Rollins Stones one issue before Fall Out Boy. and Fall Out Boy made the issue right after us and they were so pissed they were like "yo, fuck you guys!" they're like "yo! Panic! has the fuckin' cover for Rolling Stones, yo, fuck these dudes, we're gonna fucking go miles above. we're gonna hit every fuckin' continent there is known to man." but they didn't because they missed a second of time. apparently they were like "oh shit, we got every continent." and they didn't actually hit it. dude, and Pete was like, "WHAT THE FUCK?! 'oh you didn't fuckin' make the continent' it's like FUCK YOU!" so From Under the Cork Tree happens, we fuckin' have three-four years of awesomeness. like, people are coming in themselves 'cause it's so big. Alright so Fall Out Boy was like-- so Patrick's like "yo, we are going to name these records from under the Cork tree and from Innity-- from infinity on high." Pete was like "yo folie à deux means the theatric of two." "The madness of two." oh sorry I'm sorry. follow boy was like "yo we got to take a break." Meaning Pete was like "yo we got to take a break bro." and Patrick's like "I need time for my music. UHUhUhUHuhUUUh." and joes like "yo I need time to find the fucking art dude I got to find some fucking me-- metal" and andys like "i'm just gonna play with some fucking metal bands." and they're like "all right this breaks been like three years long two years long three years long 3 1/2? we gotta fucking come back man we gotta come back strong." you took my beer away what the fuck? "no you poured it all over yourself." "yeah you poured it on yourself man here." "we got to make this shit legit it's gonna be fucking dope it's going to go fucking sky high. we're going to make a fucking record that sails the skies. we're going to call this record save rock 'n' roll." so they made alone together light 'em up alone together Phoenix. and everybody's like "what the fuck? you're working with this guy who fuckin' recorded Avril Lavigne and P!nk." is this pu-- what the fuck is this on my shirt, did I puke on myself? oh god. Pete was like "yo were gonna end up on a tour with Panic! At The Disco and twenty pilots. and that's all and that's all that matters. and that's just how the fuckin' story goes."
Going Somewhere?

5e, party is a halfling monk, human paladin, and a dragonborn fighter. We have been pursuing the agents of a nefarious secret society in Waterdeep, and have just encountered one unexpectedly while out shopping.

DM: You see Ludvig [the guy we’re after] handing a coin purse to a back alley vendor. He’s looking around to make sure he’s not being watched. As you see him, he sees you and bolts down the street.

Monk (OOC): Hey, [DM]? Be honest with me: is this a chase sequence? City streets, back alleys, rooftops, dodging through crowds?

DM: …Yeah, why?

Monk (OOC): Is there anything especially cool that happens in this chase?

DM: Not really.

Monk (OOC): Perfect. How far away is Ludvig from me?

DM: One hundred feet.

Monk (OOC): Perfect. I’m going to save us all a half hour of dice rolling then.

Monk: I move 35 feet, use a ki point to dash another 70, and use my attack to crane kick Ludvig in the back of the knees with my full momentum. (rolls to hit, succeeds)

DM: *rolls* …Jeeeesus Christ.

DM: …I assume all of you have skinned a knee before?

Party: Yeah.

DM: The rest of the party sees nothing but a blur before Ludvig’s legs are taken out from under him as he’s running full speed. He skins his knees, his hands and arms, and his face on the cobblestone as he skids fifteen feet face-down across the pavement. He is unconscious and bleeding out.

Fighter: I guess I’m gonna go interrogate that back alley dealer.

Paladin: I guess I’m gonna go heal the villain.

Something just hit me, and I don’t know if someone already said this or if i’m reaching..

But when we watch the trailer as it is, reversed.. Even doesn’t get hurt and fall down on the floor bleeding, he IS hurt but he stands up again. None of them are actually falling, but instead they are getting back up.
And all of them getting back up is somehow connected to Sana (who we know is so aware and observant of everything)..

Robert was always going to cheat; he is a known cheater, and in a soap, every relationship has a cheating SL in one form or another. By doing it this way, Emmerdale have definitively shown us two things.

  1. Robert’s happiness and well-being is entirely dependent upon Aaron’s, and Aaron’s presence in his life. The days leading up to The Incident™ clearly showed Robert struggling; he couldn’t sleep, looked haggard and exhausted, and the only thing that brought him any consolation was the phone conversation with Aaron in the evenings. Finding out Aaron was in trouble for being gay made him look ill, made him worried sick. Finding out Aaron was on drugs made him almost desperate. His husband was hurting and self-harming and he couldn’t do anything about it. When finally they did fight, and Aaron left him at that table, he was devastated. Even if they didn’t show us that the fight was close to a break-up, the episode where Robert almost told Aaron about The Incident™ had Aaron admit that he knew Robert thought they were over, and as soon as Robert got it into his head that they were over, that he didn’t have Aaron in his life anymore, he went into self-destruct.
  2. Robert has always been a self-serving person, and he has never hesitated to hurt someone if it meant he got something he wanted, but with Aaron he feels remorseful, he feels guilty. This has never happened to him before; not really. Robert is a person who lashes out when cornered, when hurt, and this was a classic case of Robert reverting back to the person he was before, hurting the person who hurt him by breaking up with him. However, in all instances before, Robert has shrugged off their pain, even reveled in it, enjoyed giving back as good as he got because whether or not he hurt people didn’t matter to him. However, he is not in a position where Aaron’s happiness is inexorably tied to his own, and this means that he cares about what he did, he hurt someone he never wanted to hurt, he has caused pain that is akin to hurting himself and it is quite clear on his face. He feels guilty, looks tired, looks like he hates himself (in my opinion) and both of these things are both down to the broken nature of their personalities. 

Robert is dependent on Aaron for a home, safety, peace within himself, and the fact that the disruption of that peace comes across quite clearly on screen has, for me, cemented the fact that Robert has changed since meeting Aaron. He no longer hurts people haphazardly, unfeelingly, and without personal repercussions. Robert feels the pain acutely, can see that he has done wrong, which is a huge character improvement from Robert of a few years ago. This also tells me that Emmerdale probably won’t have him cheat again, at least not in the foreseeable future. It causes him too much pain. 

SO

i would JUST LIKE to point out a few KEY THINGS:

1) Finn gets stabbed TWICE and is thrown across the drop pod during a thunder storm while foaming at the mouth

2) MURPHY????

3) Jasper is speared then hung up on a tree and then later got his neck sliced into

4) Raven is shot with the bullet pressing on her spine and loses feeling in her bottom half of her leg after going through multiple *life threatening* surgeries with no pain medication, she also suffered head trauma 3 times & bone marrow extraction w/ a drill and no meds????

5) fREAKinG MUrpHY

6) Bellamy is hanging upside down BLEEDING INTO TUBES FOR HOURS

7) Maya is exposed to radiation and comes back and SO DOES JASPER

8) Lincoln dies like three times and was a dang REAPER

9) Clarke was beaten to almost death all throughout the series

10) Indra gets SHOT over and OVER AGAIN

11) Abby AND MARcus are trapped underground after an explosion, then 2 cave ins and fucking GET OUT after Marcus already died

12) M U R P H Y

13) Jaha floats himself with no cord across the freaking outer space with HIS HELMET BUSTING BEING EXPOSED FULLY TO THE SPACE VACCUM, makes the landing, and flies down to earth in a broken piece of JUNK

14) EMERSON???

15) THEY LIKE ALL SWALLOW AI’S?? AND SURVIVE THE KILL SWITCH??

16) um…. all the people who surVIVED THE BOMBS IN THE FIRST PLACE

AND YOU THINK THE *COMMANDER* CAN BE TAKEN DOWN BY *ONE SHOT* BELOW THE CRITICAL TORSO AREA WTF SHE SLAYED THE QUEEN OF THE ICE NATION BY CHUCKING A SPEAR AT HER FROM ACROSS THE BATTLE GROUND, SHE’S FOUGHT SO HARD AND IS SO STRONG AND YOU THINK YOU CAN JUST KILL THE ONLY PERSON/BEST FRIEND/LOVER THAT NEVER STOPPED LOVING CLARKE FOR A SECOND, PLEGED HER LIFE TO HER VOWING TO PROTECT HER NO MATTER THE COST AFTER EVERYTHING SHE DID AND PUT 100 % OF HER TRUST IN HER EVEN AFTER LOSING COSTIA AND OPENED UP TO HER AND PROTECTED HER EVEN AFTER DEATH this is such bullshit

did i miss anyone ELSES INSANE COMPLETELY IMPOSSIBLE NOT PLAUSIBLE SURVIVAL?   

Me as a parent
  • kid: mom tell me a story
  • me: it was the summer of 2001, and Joe meets Patrick and he's like "yo, I know about music." then Patrick's like "yo I know more about music!" "that's impossible. so you wanna start a band?" and Patrick's like, "yeah that's cool." and then, he's like "yo this is a book store not a music store." and then they met at Patrick's house. so Patrick's wearing shorts, socks, and a hat. Patrick is playing drums for some fuckin' reason and then Pete's there for some reason. and they start playing music together and they're like "oh, let's play some covers from some other bands." it was like Green Day, and fuckin' Misfits, and fuckin' Ramones. Pete said to Joe, "yo, that's dope, but we need a fuckin' drummer." because Patrick's playing drums and he's a singer. Patrick's like "yo, I got a soul voice," and they're like "wait how do you have a soul voice?" and he's like "yo, watch this: YEEEEEEeeeeeeEEEEEEeeeeeeeeEEEeeeeeeAAAAAAAAaaaaAAaahhh!" and they're like, "oh my god, that sounds like soul!" so they put it in a song, and it was like, "WHERE IS YOUR BOY TONIIIIIIIiiiiiIIIIIIIIIiiiIIIIIIIGHT?!" and they're like "yo that's fuckin perfect, this is Fall Out Boy." and they made records like Evening Out With Your Ex-Girlfriend. Evening Out With Your Ex-Girlfriend, everybody loves it. "it's called Evening Out With Your Girlfriend." with your ex-girlfriend. it's called evening out with your Ex-girlfriend. it's called eating out your girlfriend, and it's real and it doesn't matter. and Pete talked to Patrick and Joe and he's like "you what the fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. yo, this is gonna be fuckin' doooooooooope!" so they made a record and it was called Take this to Your Grave. they made it without a drummer, and they had like 3—4 drummers come in. The four drummers they had come in were like Josh Freese, Neil Pert, the dude from Toto, the fourth one was like the guy from Papa Roach or something, and they're like "you, we need Andy Hurley. Andy Hurley. Take This to Your Grave. Fuckin' record it." and he did, and he killed it, and he was like "bigidalililililillillilila, PSHHH!" killin' the skin, tapping the skins, tapping the rim, playin' the shit, killing these bitches, rapping it out. you're getting a fucking tattoo right now?! what the fuck is going on?! We should get signed to Fueled By Ramen, 'cause thee guys know what the fuck is going on. and they were like "yo, if you can make our scene any bigger than it is, which is not fuckin' hard, we will sign you guys." and Pete was like "yo, we got this record that's fuckin' dooooooope, dude, it's called Take This to Your Grave, it's called From Under the Cork Tree it's gonna be fucking huge." and then Patrick's like "I gotta keep it real, I gotta keep it artistic, these are three songs that are gonna make the album and it's called-BURP-Thnks Fr th Mmrs, 20 Dollar Nose Bleed, and Sugar, Were Goin' Down. and they made this record that was fuckin' dope, and it fucking hit on the charts like one two three, three two one, three four five six seven eight nine ten. ten to one. From Under the Cork Tree sold like four million records. ten million records. fifteen million records. and Brendon Urie had nothing to do with the entire record. and Patrick was like "that's gooooOOOOoooooOOOOOOOOd." Pete was like, "yo, fuck you I can do whatever I want." and Joe was like, "yeah it's cool man whatever I don't give a shit." and then Andy was like "eh, cool." and Pete was like "Make up is fuckin' great for a guy. because it makes a guy look beautiful, which a lot of times, a guy is not beautiful. and I wanna change that. I wanna make sure everyone thinks that guys are beautiful." I'm good so far yeah. yeah I do. SHUT THE FUCK. oh fuck, alright alright. Pete was like "oh my god, I'm so embarrassed about this dick pic." and then I saw the dick pic and was like "ah it's not bad." it's not a bad dick. let's be real. we made Rollins Stones one issue before Fall Out Boy. and Fall Out Boy made the issue right after us and they were so pissed they were like "yo, fuck you guys!" they're like "yo! Panic! has the fuckin' cover for Rolling Stones, yo, fuck these dudes, we're gonna fucking go miles above. we're gonna hit every fuckin' continent there is known to man." but they didn't because they missed a second of time. apparently they were like "oh shit, we got every continent." and they didn't actually hit it. dude, and Pete was like, "WHAT THE FUCK?! 'oh you didn't fuckin' make the continent' it's like FUCK YOU!" so From Under the Cork Tree happens, we fuckin' have three-four years of awesomeness. like, people are coming in themselves 'cause it's so big. Alright so Fall Out Boy was like-- so Patrick's like "yo, we are going to name these records from under the Cork tree and from Innity-- from infinity on high." Pete was like "yo folie à deux means the theatric of two." "The madness of two." oh sorry I'm sorry. follow boy was like "yo we got to take a break." Meaning Pete was like "yo we got to take a break bro." and Patrick's like "I need time for my music. UHUhUhUHuhUUUh." and joes like "yo I need time to find the fucking art dude I got to find some fucking me-- metal" and andys like "i'm just gonna play with some fucking metal bands." and they're like "all right this breaks been like three years long two years long three years long 3 1/2? we gotta fucking come back man we gotta come back strong." you took my beer away what the fuck? "no you poured it all over yourself." "yeah you poured it on yourself man here." "we got to make this shit legit it's gonna be fucking dope it's going to go fucking sky high. we're going to make a fucking record that sails the skies. we're going to call this record save rock 'n' roll." so they made alone together light 'em up alone together Phoenix. and everybody's like "what the fuck? you're working with this guy who fuckin' recorded Avril Lavigne and P!nk." is this pu-- what the fuck is this on my shirt, did I puke on myself? oh god. Pete was like "yo were gonna end up on a tour with Panic! At The Disco and twenty pilots. and that's all and that's all that matters. and that's just how the fuckin' story goes."
i ask him about photographs and he tells me about details we always forget to capture. it’s easy to love when you go so high you forget to see down. i ask him about hurt and he tells me how hearts only bleed red when promises break faster than glass. it’s easy to believe when the sky is blue. i ask him about love and he talks about me.
—  k.m

Originally posted by myheroacademiadeku

Can I be honest here? When I first saw this scene, I was honestly worried for a second that All Might would be a untouchable, a bit arrogant and overly confident guy. Just for a split-second, I thought “Oh no, he’s gonna be one of those untouchable hero-idols again who will only show up in the story whenever there’s a really big fight that the protagonist can’t handle”.

Why I thought that – perhaps because I felt something about his behavior was faked. Perhaps because he just picked up the nearest piece of paper he could find and wrote down his autograph without even being asked for it, probably thinking that everyone would love to have his autograph, anyway.

But gosh, was I wrong. In the mere span of a few minutes, all those worries were shut down.

Untouchable? Invincible? No. All Might is shown to be bleeding and hiding behind a strong façade only a bit later.

Originally posted by kaeveeoh

 

 

Him not showing up in the series apart from important fights? Ha! Since the manga started, All Might has been at Izuku’s side as often as possible. I even miss him when he isn’t there, because I’m just so used to him being close to Izuku (even if it’s just watching from around the corner like a worried dad)

 

Originally posted by kizn7iver

And then, when I rewatched BNHA, I noticed this little scene here:

All Might didn’t just pick the notebook up and write his autograph into it. He really read it first. The book had fallen open during the fight with slime guy, if I remember correctly. He probably caught sight of the sketches of heroes Izuku had done and took a look into it.

He noticed how detailed Izuku’s notes where. He took into consideration how much time the boy had spent gathering all those information about the heroes, and how much love had went into each detail. Knowing Izuku, that fanboy probably even wrote down his thoughts near the notes, little bits and pieces of excited rambling and theories.

All Might didn’t write his autograph into the notebook because he egoistically assumed that it would be what the boy wanted.

He wrote the autograph into the notebook because, after seeing Izuku’s addiction to heroes, his love for everything concerning it, he knew how much this autograph would mean for the boy.

Well done, Horikoshi. You managed to literally pulverize all the clichés concerning shounen-mentors and designed one of the most lovable, dorkiest yet most awesome characters I’ve ever seen. Not to mention what a heartwarming relationship between mentor and student was created here.

Also, what kind of dorky autograph is this, you drew your own eyebrows and eye-shadows under it you utter DORK

My Personal Pain Reliever | Zach Dempsey x Reader

Genre: Romance, Fluff
POV: Reader’s/First Person

A/N: Hi everyone! This was requested by anon. I’m sorry it isn’t my usual lengthy write-up but I just decided to keep this short and sweet tbh. I hope you guys still like it though! Enjoy!

Request: Hi can I ask for a Zach x reader where Zach finds out the reader’s on her period? He gets flustered and googles what to do… thanks :)

—–

“Babe, I can’t go to the game today, I’m so sorry. I’m having really bad period pains and the slightest movement would cause the most excruciating pain you can ever imagine.” I tell Zach over the phone. It was their big game today and it sucked that I couldn’t be there to support him.

“Wh-what?” Zach mumbles on the other line, I can imagine him scratching his head, with his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. The thought itself made me shake my head and smile.

“I’m on my period Zachary, you know the 3-5 days females bleed from down south?” I ask while I’m curled up into a ball on my bed.

“N-no, y-yeah, I know what a period is, no.” he stutters and I giggle at him.

“I’m really sorry baby, I promise I’ll make it up to you soon. I won’t miss another game, ever. I’m sorry.” I say, I can hear him sigh from the other line which broke my heart.

“It’s okay babe, don’t worry. As long as you get some rest, that’s what matters.” he answers but I can still hear the disappointment in his voice.

“Good luck Zachary. Do your best okay?” I reply softly.

“I will Y/N. Feel better soon baby.” he says and we both bid goodbye to each other.

After ending the call, I suddenly realize why Zach was acting so flustered while we were talking. It has only been about a month ever since we started officially dating and this is actually the first time that this has happened since. I smile at the thought of him being so confused and worried at the same time. A couple of minutes later and the pain on my stomach causes me to doze off.

—–

Later that day

I hear a faint knock on my door which makes my eyes flutter open. However, I just couldn’t bring myself to move an inch. Luckily, I heard the door creak open before I even had to prepare myself to get up. To my surpise, a pouting Zach Dempsey comes in and places a couple of bags on my desk before walking over to my bed and leaning above me.

Keep reading

Elsewhere University- Feathers (part 2)

part one   EDIT: part three

Hey there!! Once again, playing in @charminglyantiquated‘s sandbox. the original comic this was inspired by can be found here (go read it!!), and the blog for everything Elsewhere is @elsewhereuniversity


Previously:

(For all that you belong here, have the dirt and salt and scent and feathers to prove it, for all that, Elsewhere has a hold of you now. Time to see which hold is stronger.)

Part 2:

You go through security, board the plane. None of the metals pull at your bones. Just to see if you can, you spin fanciful lies about yourself as you make conversation with your seat mate.

(The words want to stick in your throat, but you’re mostly sure that’s from years (and years and years) of choosing your words ever so carefully with strangers, and not for any less …mundane a reason.)

Keep reading

i. Kids playing hooky early morning, I am the pain relief pills they hide under their tongue and spit out under the couch cushions when their mother shuts the screen door. I am the first time you skin your knee, in the rain whispering nixie weaved revenge spells down your yellow coat and your red boots (the first time you really know you are alone). I am the hand stand on the sidewalk when your elbow buckles in like lame horses fall to the canyon mouth, you are just a child. You can fly, turn invisible, speak to animals, walk through walls. Rustling, do you hear it? Yanking the baby teeth from their pink beds.

ii. You crumble under the weight of a naked black sky, feeling something skittering on your skin. Something wicked and naive. Like a spider egg. You get a mouthful of broken teeth, and lay frying sunny side up on the summer asphalt.

iii. Tonight you’re gonna learn how to fall, then get back up again. Tonight you are gonna know what it is to be exhausted. Are you okay when you fall off your daydream and end up on your back? Your eyes are red where they used to be white.

iv. you have been chewing your will to live with the aching wisdom teeth you desperately need to get pulled. you have been softening it with your saliva, but it’s 11 pm, and it’s stale now, and it tangles into your rapunzel locks in your sleep and finally gives you an excuse to cut all your hair off.

v. Last week your dentist asked if anything was bothering you, and you almost told him about the small tooth you think is growing between your tricuspids, pushing everything out of place, sending you on the verge of sonic tears and crawling on the bathroom floor with no idea where your phone is, and something out of control, and poison, and odontalgia, and dysthymia, and forgetting the Latin roots, and ripped out pages of a book that was supposed to tell you how to get back home and. how long do you think I can hold my breath before I look like a blueberry, and it is, in me, and the throbbing red bump at the base of your sternum and how you tried to cut it off but you were too scared of what was underneath, and dandelion seeds of reasons why you should just stay here until somebody forgets you even showed up heaving out of your mouth and into a McDonalds bag, and the feeling at 13 in the bathroom stall after swim practice shaking like coffee on an empty stomach pulling out the first tampon you ever put inside, and your wet thighs, and the warm dirty smell.

Gargle, spit. You say no. Nothing really.

vi. you should get gold fillings. then all you have to do is flash a smile and no one will fuck with you.

vii. Four months until graduation we are not wasting time, but we eat it too fast and end up vomiting on the highway. On the swing, wood chip splinters, and agitation like termite fever beneath my skin. It’s not that I think the zombie apocalypse would be cool, but I could do all the things I do right now without getting sideways glances in the convenience store, or being told I’m depressed like it’s such a problem, or being treated like the splattered milk gallon on the dairy aisle linoleum. Everybody stepping back and maneuvering their shopping carts around the fresh disaster, and staring, and looking away, and ignoring what they don’t want to deal with. And not wanting the blame.

viii. I’m not depressed. It’s just winter.

ix. Is this the last weekend before the first blood? I’m not gonna do my homework anyway.

x. I’m not depressed. My brother took me into the car with the light fixture wires hanging from the ceiling like your wet hair from shower tiles. we zoomed down with Apollo laughing in the backseat and egged the big white houses in Beverly Hills and pretended like we were still the strawberry jam kids on concrete playing hopscotch, living in sandcastles, eating mudpies. Like we were not hotboxing, and taking pictures of half healed things under the band aid, and always ready to put our hands up when we hear sirens, and microwaving earthworms. And growing up too fast.

I’m not depressed. But I’m not coming back this time either.

xi. It’s a haunted Sunday in the home your parents left to rot, and the black mold spores bleeding down the buttermilk wallpaper are causing you to do unadvisable backbends. And somehow years later I am still the grocery list you are always throwing in the trash with the candy wrappers.

—  6. graduation cometh
Something Something Ventriloquism

Me and my friends are playing Vampire: The Masquerade, my character is a Ventrue named Wallace Herbertson who has two ghouls named Pete Hawkins, an Alfred-esque house keeper, and Dave ‘Irish’ O'Hern, a hired gun with no sense of subtlety. Me and Pete were dragging a badly tortured Irish back to my Flat room to heal him after he was captured and tortured.

While in the elevator we stopped a few floors below our Room and a drunk man saw two men supporting a brutalized man and understandably interjected.

Drunk: What the Hell happened to him?

Wallace: What are you Talking about?

Drunk: *points to Irish* He looks like he’s had the crap kicked out of him!

Wallace: Oh, nah He’s always looked like that. (Fails Bluff)

D: He’s bleeding!

W: Nah, he’s just had a tomato sauce bottle blow up in his face. (Fails Bluff)

D: He’s missing Fingers!

W: UM, Excuse me, he has a condition. (Fails bluff)

D: I’m calling an Ambulance.

W: Sir that is wholly unnecessary, he is perfectly fine. Aren’t you mate? 

* Wallace reaches a hand up behind Irish’s head and starts moving it back in forth like he’s talking*

Wallace imitating Irish: Aw yeah nah mate i’m fine!

(Again, Fails Bluff)

D: That’s you!

W: No that was absolutely him, see. I move away so that I’m clearly not puppeteer-ing him. Pete takes my place as Puppeteer.

Pete as Irish: Dear Sir I assure you I’m perfectly peachy!

*Pete fails a strength roll and Irish falls face first onto the Elevator floor, Pete’s hands still in puppeteer position.*

D: That’s it I’m calling the cops!

W: FUCK IT! *Wallace punches the Drunk in hopes he’s knocked unconscious. SUCCESSFUL HIT! failed on damage roll. Drunk man runs away in a manner the GM described as ‘Like the titans from Attack on Titan’ waking up everyone else on the floor*

Me and Pete stood in silence, looking shamefully down at an unconscious Irish man bleeding onto the floor while the elevator door bumps into his head while trying to close.

anonymous asked:

so gang!phil interrogating rival!dan but phils usual techniques (slapping, hitting, etc.) are just turning dan on, so instead phil just edges him til he gives in 💙

Phil cracked his knuckles, sighing as he pushed open the door to the interrogation room. He was instantly hit with a rank stench, and he flinched, crinkling his eyes in disgust.

Dan Howell sat in the middle of the room, tied to a chair, a gag over his mouth. He didn’t seem to notice Phil entering.

He had a black eye, and a cut on one cheek, so it was clear the boys had had some fun with him when they had caught him. He was still pretty cute though. And despite all this, Dan’s eyes were dry.

“Dan,” he said loudly, and the boy looked up, glaring at him fiercely.

Phil stepped forward, yanking the gag down, and Dan immediately took this opportunity to spit at him.

Phil calmly wiped it away, and Dan laughed. Phil shook his head, fiddling with the straps of the gloves they used to make punches hurt the offender less and the victim more. It was an old intimidation technique, but Dan didn’t flinch.

“You’re a goddamn idiot, Howell.” His voice was low, and he leaned down so he was at Dan’s level, their faces inches away.

“Maybe,” Dan said slowly, staring him down. “Or maybe you just don’t know why I did what I did.”

Phil stepped back, putting his foot on Dan’s chair, his clunky black boot resting between Dan’s legs.

“Unfortunately for you, that’s why I’m here.”

Dan’s subtle smirk grew, and Phil couldn’t help but growl under his breath. He was infuriating.

“Why would that be unfortunate?” Dan’s voice was light; teasing. “You know I adore our little chats.”

Phil was reminded why Dan was used for things like this - he was the best spy imaginable, and when he got caught, he wasn’t easy to crack.

Phil didn’t hesitate to swing at him, slapping him in the face, hard. Dan’s head was thrown to the side, but he came back smiling. He yawned, a strand of messy brown hair falling between his eyes.

“Thanks,” he said, his eyes flashing. “I needed that. I was falling asleep.”

Phil grabbed the collar of his shirt, pulling him forward roughly and practically strangling him.

“Look Howell,” he hissed, and Dan’s eyes widened slightly. “We can do this the easy way, or the hard way. And either way, you’re gonna fucking tell me why you were spying on my base, and what you know.”

Dan searched his icy blue eyes, determined not to let his confidence waver.

“I think it’s gonna have to be the hard way,” he said slowly, his eyes narrowing. “Because I’m not telling you shit.”

Phil huffed through his nose, and grabbed a handful of Dan’s hair. He tugged back roughly, and Dan let out a soft whimper, of surprise or pain, Phil couldn’t tell.

Dan’s eyes rolled back in his head, and his exposed throat somehow made Phil want to bite him. Instead he fastened a hand around it, making Dan cry out.

“I could snap your fucking neck,” Phil growled at him. “I could slit your throat. Tell me everything, and it’s all over.”

Dan gagged softly, squirming in his tight grip. “No. Hit me again, fucker.”

Phil obliged, letting go of him just to backhand him. And it looked like it hurt like hell; the impact split Dan’s lip. But Dan fucking moaned.

His eyes glinted with red hot fire, a wild grin melting to his features. “Again,” he breathed, and Phil stared at him.

Dan was a mess; he was visibly shaking, he had a black eye and a lip that was bleeding down his chin. But he was asking for more…? What did it take to break this kid?

Phil glared at the boy, punching him twice in the stomach, and shoving him backwards. The chair toppled backwards, and Dan landed on his arms, his head hitting the ground as well.

He cried out in pain, but there was something else in his tone, a sort of whine, and oh my god, this was turning him on, wasn’t it?

Phil swallowed, moving to stand over Dan, hovering above him. Dan grinned at him cockily, until Phil grabbed his face with a firm grip, and he squeaked.

“You think this is hot, don’t you?” He asked quietly, getting as close to Dan as possible without being tempted to kiss his broken lips. Dan laughed.

“And you don’t?” He smirked. “Having me like this, completely helpless? Ruining my pretty face, fuck, like the worthless piece of shit I am.”

It all clicked in Phil’s mind- why no one could seem to make Dan break. It was impossible to get information from him, simply because he liked the abuse. It made Phil even more pissed.

Phil stood back up, grabbing Dan by the hair and pulling him and the chair back up. Dan whimpered; fire shooting through his head.

“We’re gonna try something a little different,” Phil said calmly, his voice coming out sickly-sweet. Dan shivered.

“Do whatever you want,” he spit, trying to keep his voice from shaking. “I’m not saying anything.”

“Oh really? That’s too bad.” Without warning he leaned forward, his hands placed on either side of Dan’s hips, his breath brushing over the side of Dan’s neck. He ran his hand over Dan’s waistband, and then down to his (obvious at this point) bulge. “Guess you won’t be coming anytime soon, then.”

“Wha-” Dans breath caught and the words got stuck in his throat as Phil ran his fingertips over his hard on, certainly not making it better. “What d-do you mean?” He choked out.

Phil ignored him, pushing his hand into Dan’s pants, under his boxers, and ran his thumb over Dan’s tip.

Dan whined rather loudly, squirming on the chair, but the ropes made it so it was nearly impossible for him to move.

“Phil,” he breathed, trying to shift his hips away. “What are you d-doing…?”

Phil grinned maliciously. Finally, he had found something that would actually affect Dan. And he was going to have some fun with it.

“Mmh, just giving my whore what he wants,” he breathed in Dan’s ear, and Dan couldn’t help but moan.

Phil moved his hand, wrapping his fingers around Dan’s length. He watched Dan bite down on his bottom lip as Phil moved his hand, slowly teasing him, his thumb brushing over Dan’s slit occasionally.

Soon enough Dan was a whimpering mess, and he seemed to have given up any integrity he may have had left. His head fell back on the chair, his eyes closed, and he was attempting to rut against Phil’s hand while letting out an endless stream of high pitched moans. Phil had to be honest, it was sexy as hell.

Phil could tell Dan was getting close by the increase in pitch of his noises, and the way his hips stuttered. His cock was leaking precum, which made it easier for Phil to slide his hand up and down Dan’s shaft.

“Now,” he said softly, sweetly, even, slowing down his movements to a near halt. “Are you gonna tell me what you were doing outside the base, slut?”

Dan whined, his eyes opening, and he licked his lips.

“Please-”

“Answer the question.”

Phil stopped his movements all together, holding his hand at the base of Dan’s dick so he couldn’t cum even if he was able to.

Dan searched his face, chewing on the inside of his cheek before muttering, “no.”

At that Phil just smiled meanly, biting down on Dan’s throat and sucking hard, leaving a dark bruise in its place.

“That’s okay.” He laughed, and Dan looked almost scared. “We’ve got time.”

That began the next unbearable moments for Dan, with Phil scratching bright red marks down his thighs and occasionally leaving hickeys all over his neck and jaw.

And here’s the thing; Dan did not want to beg. He hated begging. Begging was admitting your defeat, and that was something Dan simply couldn’t do. But right then, Dan was probably closer to breaking down than he had been in his entire life.

He wanted to cum, he had been so close, and when Phil had stopped-

It was worse than any physical pain he could inflict.

When Phil started moving his hand again, Dan almost cried. He started slow again, gradually speeding up, stopping occasionally to flick his wrist around Dan’s head.

“Mmph, fuck,” Dan whined, his head falling back, beginning to lose his mind again. “Ph-Phil, please make me cum, please.”

“You wanna cum?” Phil growled softly, speeding up even more, and Dan practically screamed.

“Yes-! F-Fuck, n-need to…!”

Phil smirked, watching Dan’s face and admiring how he fell apart just from some pain and a hand around his cock. He was gorgeous, his face all roughed up and his hair falling in his eyes, sticking from sweat. Phil wanted to fuck his brains out, but then wasn’t really the time.

“Too bad,” he said finally, stopping again right when Dan was the closest possible.

Dan let out an incredulous noise, groaning, his hips bucking into nothing, desperate for friction.

“Fuck you,” he said breathlessly, his voice breaking. “Fuck you, Phil Lester. Let me cum.”

“Tell me what I need to know, sweetheart.” He dipped two fingers under Dan’s chin, bringing his face up. “Or, trust me, I could do this all day.”

Dan shook his head.

Twenty minutes later, and Dan was visibly shaking again. Tears streamed down his face, and he didn’t even remember when they had started. His hips constantly twitched, and he had to gasp for breath.

“Please.” His voice was soft and broken and desperate and sleepy; goddamn beautiful. “Please, Phil, I need it, I-”

“Aw.” Phil stuck out his lower lip, mocking him. “Poor baby. Poor desperate little whore, do you need to cum, my love?”

Dan shuddered, nodding frantically, not even above falling for Phil’s teasing.

Phil slapped him, the noice echoing through the room, and Dan moaned.

“Then tell me what I fucking need to know, Dan. It’s that simple,” he hissed through his teeth.

Dan whimpered, sleepily shaking his head. But then Phil’s mouth was on his dick, his jeans shoved down, and god, he had been close for an hour now. He just needed it so bad.

His eyes rolled back in his head, and he squeezed them shut.

Phil had been edging him for so goddamn long, he was going crazy. He was so weak, and every second that Phil touched him, he got closer. The very edge, and Phil’s hot, wet mouth was closed around him, humming, and fuck he was going to cum. It was right there, and then…

Phil pulled off with a pop, glaring at him. Dan could scream. And then he lost it.

“Phil, f-fuck, your mouth is so good, please-” he choked on the words, the emotion and need getting caught in his throat, and there were tears on his cheeks again. “Please, need to cum, please let me, p-please-” he hiccuped, shaking his head desperately. “Please, no more. N-No more, I’ll tell you!”

Phil smiled, drawing his thumb down Dan’s cheek.

“Mmh, good boy,” he hummed, and Dan soaked up the praise, nuzzling against Phil’s hand like a kitten. He didn’t care anymore. “That’s all I wanted. Tell me everything, and then you can cum.”

Dan nodded frantically, sniffing, the words spilling from his mouth like a waterfall. How he had been sent to scope out the new recruits, how his gang had been planning to kidnap one of the new kids, hold him hostage. Even how they had anticipated that Dan would get caught, and how he would try and get information on the inside as well.

At the end Dan broke down, a sob catching in his throat, still so fucking hard, his dick still leaking and straining to reach his stomach.

“See, that wasn’t so hard, was it?” Phil said sweetly, fastening his hand around Dan’s cock for the thousandth time.

Dan sucked in a sharp breath, his head lolling backwards, whimpering softly.

Phil got him off in a matter of moments, and Dan moaned loudly and high pitched as he spilled over Phil’s hand and his stomach.

Phil untied him, seeing as he was practically passed out, and Dan slumped to the ground.

He stood over him, looking over the exhausted, broken boy laying on the ground beneath him, breathing heavily. What a gorgeous mess.

He leaned over, kneeling next to him and lifting his head up by his hair. Dan didn’t even react, except for glancing at him sleepily.

“Needless to say, you can’t go back to your gang,” Phil said calmly.

“You gonna kill me?” Dan asked, more like a statement, as if he didn’t even care what the answer was.

“No…” Phil hummed, letting Dan lay back down and running his fingers through his tangled hair. “I was thinking you’d stay here. With me.”

Dan made a noise of acknowledgment, licking his ripped up lips.

“If it means we can do that again, then I’m down.”

aries - you have to tear down your own walls first; love isn’t the kind to bleed through the cracks. she wants an ocean. give in.

Leo - i hope one day you can break free from your glass house.

Sagittarius- your love has thawed the ice in me; one day the sea levels will rise to drown my coastlines, and I will welcome your waves with all the love my arms can carry.

Taurus - i saw you in a dream once. i used to hold you when you would cry, but i know she’s stitched your wounds and you’re not crying anymore. i hope you’ve found your peace.

Virgo - they told you all roads lead home, but i know you lost yourself somewhere across the Atlantic when you left everything for something you weren’t sure you even wanted. i don’t know who you are anymore, but i hope you find it– whatever it is.

Capricorn - do you still see me in your skylines? i’ve forgotten what it’s like.

Gemini - they say you have another face hidden somewhere beneath your dress, but i’ve never known anyone who so unapologetically belonged to themselves. but tell me, are you really at war with the world? or is it all just a front? will you ever be caught late at night taking your mask off? i wonder what you think when you’re alone.

libra - i caught you once with your face in a book– did you ever catch me looking?

Aquarius - i worry about the way you love, but i envy it, too. there is beauty in always giving, but there is a loneliness so deep in loving what cannot be returned.

cancer - you are the light in every room, you are the beacon in every storm. you are my manna from heaven, you are the house that keeps me warm.

Scorpio - there are cobwebs in the corner where you used to sit, but sometimes I still see your footprints in the dust. you have a way of haunting the people you loved.

Pisces - your words are featherlight, but your actions are made of iron. one day I pray you learn the weight of what you have done.

—  the signs as I have loved them // mh

Make it rain.

    (coda for 12x14 because Dean needs a cuddle and I didn’t buy his speech at the end of the ep)

Where are you?

Cas‘ voice is muffled and tired, and he gives Dean the name of a town he’s never heard of before.

Can I come?

Cas says yes, of course. Of course he does.

It’s a three hour drive and Dean doesn’t remember a single thing about it when he turns right into the parking lot of the crappy motel. It started raining a while back. The patter grows loud as soon as he cuts the engine. The wipers stop and the water forms a solid barrier on the windshield, blurring the outside into something surreal.

He gets out and leaves his duffel in the trunk. The curtains are drawn in Cas’ room, but the lights are on and bleed sick yellow light down into the puddles on the pavement.

He should move, but his feet won’t comply.

Raindrops pinch his scalp like needles before they pour into his collar. “I am your mother but I am not just a mom”. No one ever taught him about the difference.

The door opens to the familiar cutout of Cas’ silhouette. Dean, Cas says, and Dean follows the low voice like a beacon. Cas draws him in, always.

And then he stands inside, and Cas gets a towel from the bathroom, peels him out of the jacket, helps him out of his boots, tells him to sit on the bed. Cas dries his hair and it’s so gentle that Dean scrambles for a good reason to make him stop, because his skin is paperthin and he’s not sure how he’s supposed to keep himself together right now.

What happened, Cas asks, quiet.

She went behind our backs and I feel stupid for expecting more, Dean thinks, but he doesn’t say that. It hits too close to what they’ve been through.

Cas’ hand rests on his shoulder and he covers it with his own.

Thank you, Dean murmurs, and Cas asks for what.

For choosing me, I guess. He leans his head to the side then, to Cas’ stomach and Cas’ hand stays on his shoulder for a long time before he lifts it and touches the crown of Dean’s head, so light he wouldn’t feel it he wasn’t so hyperaware of everything Cas does.

He takes a trembling breath. I should go.

Cas’ fingers card through his still damp hair. You should stay and rest. Dean doesn’t fight him on it when Cas bends to the side and lifts the covers. He crawls into bed and presses his face into the pillow so Cas can’t see him. Would you…?, he murmurs and his blood boils with shame because it sounds so needy and pathetic.

He hears the rusting of clothes and then Cas slips into bed behind him, a long line of warmth and comfort, and before he can talk himself out of it, Dean grabs back for Cas’ hand and pulls it over his own body until Cas has to shuffle closer. Cas’ arm is heavy on his side and their hands clasp together over his heart.

The nagging suspicion, his guilt for even being suspicious, all of that comes rushing back –

“I love you.” Had that been part of the play?

Tell me again?

Cas doesn’t hesitate. I love you, he whispers against Dean’s neck.

Cas sounds so honest and so sure. Dean’s lids grow heavy and he feels warm with the knowledge that, even if he can’t quite believe him yet, he can ask again tomorrow.