down and out clothing

2

cold 

cant decide on a bg so just. heres the transparent version so you can slap it on whatever. preferably smthing warm bc its hecking cold over here jfc 

How To Keep a Diary Like Virginia Woolf

“Begin by making your own diary-books. Find some old books in a second-hand shop or a car boo sale, books with good covers and bindings. Pull out some pages and fill them with your own choice of paper. Disguise your diary inside old school textbooks, the ones that used to teach grammar. Virginia Woolf was appalled by her negligent grammar. But grammar was not the point. Practice writing with and without it. Allow yourself to move. Woolf galloped through sentences in her diary, in a haphazard way. ‘It loosens the ligaments,’ she said. Her diary was somewhere she could appear ‘slovenly’ and ‘elastic’. Not everything we jot down in our diaries needs to be carefully thought out. Put on baggy clothes. Relax your mental joints. No one but you is looking. Let your brain go loose and floppy. Let your hand lead the way. Get inside your body and find a rhythm. Bring your brain into contact with your breathing. Let go.”

Sally Bayley, The Private Life of the Diary

RFA+Saeran & V Give Valentines Day Cards to MC

Yoosung

  • It’s basically him on a card
  • Inside he still writes “I LOVE YOU” in big letters 
  • “Yoosung we live together now…” 
  • Yoosung: *intense blush*
  • “Come here…” you give him a kiss. 
  • He’s so relieved he didn’t verbally babble again. 

Zen

  • Simple and to the point
  • There’s a map to the bedroom inside
  • When you walk in the room Zen’s naked on the bed with a red bow on his head
  • Zen: *wink*  (*^∀゜)

Jaehee

  • She’s new to the Valentines Day thing
  • She hands you a card, flowers, and chocolates
  • It’s simple but it still makes you blush
  • “What are you checking off?” you ask as she pulls out a clipboard. 
  • Jaehee puts it down and takes her clothes off. 
  • “Step 3 in the Valentines Day plan,” she states firmly. 
  • “Jaehee!!!”  ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ 

Jumin

Version 1:

  • Inside he writes “I love you kitten” in beautiful script
  • There is also a paw print in ink from Elizabeth the 3rd
  • “Oh my goodness Jumin! I love it, thank you!” 
  • You hug him tight. 
  • He feels accomplished and proud. 

Version 2

  • You hold the card up. “Who the hell is Katie???”
  • “Wait…that must be a printing error,” Jumin tries to explain. 

Saeyoung

Version 1

  • “Aw Saeyoung. This means so much.”
  • He grins proudly. 
  • “So you would even let me see it now?” (◕‿◕✿) 
  • “Right now?”  (⌐■.■)
  • “Yeah, sweety!”  (◕u◕✿)
  • “Sure…right after I use the bathroom” he sprints to his computer.  (⌐■_■)

Version 2

  • “Aw Saeyoung. This means so much.” 
  • “I know deep in my heart you would let me see yours too, right MC?”
  • You sweat nervously. “Mhm.” (ʘ‿ʘ)
  • Right?” (¬_¬)
  • *Shady side eyes* “I’ll be right back.” You run to your computer. 

Saeran

  • This is not his kind of Holiday
  • He’s super awkward but this poor thing is trying really hard
  • He couldn’t find a card that didn’t make him cringe 
  • You smile sweetly and hug him. “I love you too!” 
  • “That’s not what that says…” 
  • “I know, but it means more that you’re trying.”
  • He grimaces but hugs you back. 
  • He’s happy your satisfied but more than anything he could cry knowing how much you accept him. 

  • Everyone thinks he’s too sweet for his own good
  • But his game is slick
  • You were not expecting this. 
  • Your looking around the house and you find him naked in the bathtub with some slow jazz playing. 
  • There’s romantic lighting from candles and rose petals scattered about. 
  • “V…” you’re at a loss for words. 
  • “They say when you lose one sense your other senses are heightened. Let’s put it to the test shall we?” 
  • You smooth blind motherf*cker. 

BONUS: Vanderwood 

This is going to take some explaining…

You see my friend there, the one with dark, brown hair? She got me pregnant.

Before a few months ago I’d never done anything sexual with her, but apparently she’d been planning something for a while, a secret she wanted to tell me.

Her name’s Joy-Lyn and the night she came over she wanted to sleep over. Of course I let her, she’s practically my sister. Anyway, she’d been hugging me all night, staying so close, which I like. At around nine I got up off the couch and told her I was going to take a shower, she just nodded and I headed down the hall.

I slipped out of my cloths and stepped into the shower just like any day, and just like any day, I left the door unlocked.

While I doused my hair in soap and warm water, Joy-lyn crept into my bathroom. I didn’t hear her slip into the shower behind me, and I didn’t know until I bent over to wash the back of my head.

I gasped as soon as I felt this warm, smooth thing push against my folds, pushing into me a little bit. I looked back to see her behind me, holding something in her hands, like a thick, peach coloured strap-on. I moaned softly- we’d never done anything like this before!

She laughed a little, leaning into me and sinking more of the toy into my passage. I had to put my hands against the wall to keep from toppling over as she slowly pumped it in and out, deeper and deeper.

The more she worked it in, the more I blushed a deep red, moaning for her, listening to her moan too. I wondered why she felt so good? Maybe she just thought it was that exciting?

Honestly though, I didn’t mind. It felt good, knowing it was her thrusting into me.

As she picked up speed, the warm, thick shaft of her toy sunk deeper into me, reaching for my deepest depths. It wasn’t until I started to feel the thing twitch and pulse inside me that my eyes went wide.

My head turned sharply, peering down her body, only to see a fleshy cock sprouting from between her legs, disappearing into my slit. She smiled ear to ear, moaning my name.

“There’s something I’ve wanted to tell you for a while…” she moaned.

“Mmh, I have such a big crush on you~”

With that she slammed forward, more frantically than before, pounding against my ass. I couldn’t believe it! All this time she was a herm!

My head dropped, feeling her easily eight, or more, inch cock stretch me out. But she wasn’t all the way in, her hips hadn’t met mine- I groaned, pushing back against her, spurred on by her confession.

Had she always wanted to fuck me? To pound me, balls deep, with this fat, amazing cock? I didn’t know, but I could feel her hands, tight on my hips, helping to pull her deeper into my fertile body as she rutted me fast and hard.

Finally, with a loud moan our hips met, and I could swear her cock was pressing right against my cervix!

In the next, ecstasy-filled moment all I felt was how hard Joy-Lyn twitched inside me before she started to dump her load.

“Yes!” I heard her hiss as rope after thick, steaming rope was forced into my waiting womb. She was breeding me, just like she’d always wanted.

When she finally pulled out I was full. She gave me a hot kiss, then started to help me clean myself up…

Now Joy-Lyn comes over regularly to rub my belly, saying how excited she was to have her baby growing in me, and I can’t argue. It’s so amazing!

And she’s always so happy to pound me so deep~

Ritual to cleanse yourself of 2016's bullshit

1) clean your home/room. Take out your trash, change your sheets, open a window, vacuum etc. Throw away reminders of bad shit from this past year.
2) take a hot shower. While washing your hair/body, envision the soap bubbles drawing negativity out and washing it down the drain
3) put on clean clothes. They’re wrapping you in warmth and peace and comfort. Preferably these will be your favorite comfy clothes.
4) cleanse your space using the method you think works best. I like sage but my preferred method is banging a pot with a wooden spoon and yelling obscenities such as

“Get outta here
2016 get fucked
Take your negative crap with you
You really really sucked”
or something to that effect.

5) get some restful sleep. Welcome that new year with fresh eyes.

HEADCANON: Popping The Cherry {ONLY CASTIEL & DEAN}

Anonymous :Can you do the popping cherry one like you did with Sam but with Dean and cas too? You’re amaze balls btw

Cas:

  • Being hesitant at first.
  • “Are you sure, you want me to take your virginity?”
  • “Of course, I love you, I want it to be you.”
  • “It’s an important thing.”
  • “Cas, anything with you is important. I love you, so much, please. You mean the world to me.”
  • “Are you sure?”
  • “Yes.”
  • Softly kissing you.
  • Straddling his waist.
  • Gently laying you down on the bed.
  • More making out.
  • Gently taking your clothes off.
  • More kissing.
  • Helping him take his clothes off.
  • Castiel putting a condom on.
  • “Are you sure?”
  • “Yes.”
  • Castiel taking one of your hands, as the other one takes a hold of your hips, while he slowly slides in.
  • Letting out a whimper.
  • Castiel soothing
  • Telling him to go faster.
  • More kissing.
  • Both of you’s reaching your highs.

Aftercare:

  • Showering together.
  • Castiel changing the sheets, while you get dressed.
  • Castiel spooning you.
  • Kissing cheek
  • “Thank you.”
  • “I love you, (y/n).”
  • “I love you, too Castiel.”
  • “You should get some sleep.”


Dean:

  • Making out.
  • Pulling away from him.
  • Asking Dean to take your virginity.
  • Dean pulling away from.
  • “You’re a virgin?”
  • “Yeah, so, I’m asking you to be the one that takes my virginity.”
  • “I’m not taking your virginity (y/n).”
  • “Why not?”
  • “Because you deserve someone better than me to take it from you.”
  • “Dean.”
  • “I can’t, hurt you, like that.”
  • “Dean, the hymen breaks whether you have sex or not, it can even break when you’re riding a bike. Besides taking my virginity doesn’t have to be actual sex you, it can also be oral.”
  • “Huh? What’s a hymen?”
  • “It’s the thing that breaks when you first have sex.”
  • “You sound like Sam right now.”
  • “You deserve a boyfriend, to do that with.”
  • “But, you’re the guy I want, not some douche bag. I don’t care where we do it, as long as it is with you.”
  • “What, in a crappy hotel room, on a shitty bed? Or the back of my car? You don’t deserve that.”
  • “I don’t care where we have it, as long as it’s with you. I love you dean, so much, and I get that you want us to be friends with benefits, and that’s okay. I want it to be you, Dean. Only you.”
  • Dean sighing, and sitting on a bed.
  • “I want to be more than friends.”
  • “Then let’s be.”
  • Pulling you closer to him, until your sitting on his lap.
  • Kissing you passionately.
  • Gently putting you down on the bed.
  • Passionately making out.
  • Removing each other’s clothes.
  • More passionate kissing
  • Dean taking a hold of your hand.
  • “Are you ready?”
  • “Yeah.”
  • Dean thrusting into you.
  • Thrusting into you slowly.

Aftercare:

  • showering together
  • Making out.
  • Shower sex.
You don’t need fashion designers when you are young. Have faith in your own bad taste. Buy the cheapest thing in your local thrift shop - the clothes that are freshly out of style with even the hippest people a few years older than you. Get on the fashion nerves of your peers, not your parents - that is the key to fashion leadership. Ill-fitting is always stylish. But be more creative - wear your clothes inside out, backward, upside down. Throw bleach in a load of colored laundry. Follow the exact opposite of the dry cleaning instructions inside the clothes that cost the most in your thrift shop. Don’t wear jewelry - stick Band-Aids on your wrists or make a necklace out of them. Wear Scotch tape on the side of your face like a bad face-lift attempt. Mismatch your shoes. Best yet, do as Mink Stole used to do: go to the thrift store the day after Halloween, when the children’s trick-or-treat costumes are on sale, buy one, and wear it as your uniform of defiance.
—  John Waters, Role Models
Fix You

Reid x reader

When you try your best but you don’t succeed

The house seemed empty, when you woke up in the morning. You stared at the walls of the spare bedroom where you’d slept last night after another blazing row. Your eyes were sore from the tears, they felt like someone has crushed tiny bits of glass and rubbed them into the your eyes during the night.

How many more times were you going to fight? How many more times were going to wonder if you and he had made a huge mistake by getting married?

Slinging the covers back you crept out of the room and down the hall. You needed to get your work clothes out of the bedroom but you didn’t want to wake him. Not yet.

Seeing the door was open, you were surprised. It was still early and he normally slept late when he could. You were even more surprised to see the bed was perfectly made as if it hadn’t been slept in. It was only then that you actually took in the rest of the room. The closets were open and his clothes were missing. You spotted a piece of paper folded on your pillow, sitting down you opened it.

“Y/N.

I can’t keep doing this. I think we should separate.

I can’t bear an argument about that either, so I’ve taken my things and I’ve gone to my Mom’s. Please don’t try to contact me, I’ll call you to make arrangements to collect the rest of my stuff and I’ll make contact with a lawyer. Irreconcilable differences should cut it.

I’m sorry.”

When you get what you want, but not what you need.

You were late to work. You almost hadn’t gone in but you needed the distraction.

You spoke to Hotch privately, he needed to know, he was your supervisor after all. He’d offered to push through some leave for you but you’d told him no. Work was all you had right now.

The rest of the team treaded carefully around you, they knew something was wrong. You’d piled on the make up this morning, trying to hide your pale face and chapped lips but nothing could hide how small and piggy like your eyes had become. No amount of eye drops could disguise the blood shot eyes.

There were little touches of your shoulder from the girls , soft sad smiles from Derek and Rossi, and coffee and chocolate placed by your computer when you’d got back from the ladies room, from Reid you presumed. They all knew you and him had been having problems, but none of them asked today. They knew, that you knew that they were there if you wanted to talk.

And maybe you would in a few days. Right now, it was raw. Bitter. You spent the day with your head buried in a file, barely paying attention to anything around you and swallowing back sobs.

Luckily, the team weren’t called away on a case. You weren’t sure you’d have been able to go with them if they had. Your head wouldn’t have been in the game and you’d have been more of a hinderence than a help.

The hours passed by and it was soon finishing time. Too soon.

You didn’t want to go home to an empty house. A house full of memories.

You drove around the streets for hours until it grew dark, finally pulling up outside your house. It no longer looked like home to you. It was just a shell, a container for a life that you would no longer live.

You reached into the back seat of the car and pulled out a blanket you kept there for emergencies, then you walked to the porch sitting in the two seater swing that was hanging in the corner. The swing you’d spent summers lazing in, him bringing you iced tea as you read books, enjoying your time off. You pulled your knees up underneath yourself and wrapped the blanket around your shoulders. It was cold outside but you didn’t care, you didn’t want to go inside.

When you love someone and it goes to waste,
Could it be worse?

Spencer pulled up behind Y/N’s car and surveyed her house. He’d been here a few times for parties and gatherings. He visited less when she married HIM though, he never did like the friendship that Spencer and Y/N had shared.

She’d seemed so sad today at work. Sullen, lost. Spencer had an idea of what might have happened. Normally when they argued, she’d come in ranting and raving about it, but not today. He’d watched her go into Agent Hotchner’s office, not being able to see her face but having a clear view of Aaron’s. He could read his reactions; empathy and compassion flooding their supervisor’s face.

Reid just wanted to check on her, to let her know he was here for her. Just because they didn’t spend the same amount of time together outside of work as they used to when she joined the Bureau seven years ago, only a year after him, it didn’t mean there was anything less to their friendship.

Yet as he walked to the front door, he realised there were no lights on.

But her car was here. He’d called her a few times when he’d got home but she’d not answered the house phone or her cell, which was why he’d decided to drive over.

Where was she?

He knocked a few times, taking out his phone and calling her again. He could hear the sounds of her personalised ring tone for him, the Dr Who theme, coming from the corner of the porch. Turning, Spencer saw her hunched over in the swing that she’d had installed a few years ago.

He made his way to her, seeing her shoulders racking with sobs.

“Y/N?” he spoke softly, crouching to his knees in front of her.

She looked up, her eyes swimming with tears and her breath visible in the cold night air. Spencer reached out to wipe away a tear from his friend’s face, noting how cold her skin was.

“Y/N, it’s freezing out here. Come on… Let’s go inside and get you warmed up.”

She shook her head, her voice creaky when she spoke.

“I can’t… I can’t go in there. It’s empty. So empty,” she started sobbing again and Spencer picked her bag up from the floor and found her house keys. Shrugging his own coat off and around her shoulders, he unlocked her door and went inside.

It took him a while to pack a small suitcase for her, he found one in the hall way closest. When he entered her bedroom and started searching through her wardrobes for clothes he’d seen her wearing at work, his suspicions were confirmed. Her husband’s belongings her no longer there.

When Spencer went into her en suite to chuck toiletries into a bag, there was only one toothbrush in the holder, only one set of shampoo and conditioner on the sides of the tub. And when he went down to the kitchen to search for a bottle of whiskey or something, he was sure he might need tonight to help her sleep, he spotted a gold wedding ring on the side. She’d still been wearing hers at work so it must be his.

Reid’s heart broke for his friend, and he quickly finished packing, locking her door and placing the bags in his trunk.

Going back to Y/N, he reached for her hands and tugged her upright, her complying with very little resistance. He caught his coat before it fell off her shoulders.

“Come on… ” he told her softly.

“No! I’m not going in there….” she shook her head at him and he pulled her towards his chest, wrapping his arms around her.

“We’re not going inside. I’m taking you back to mine. I’ve packed you a bag, and I’ll fetch anything else you need. You can stay with me. You don’t have to tell me anything, Y/N. I know….and I’m sorry.”

She sniffed against his chest. “I can’t impose on you Spencer. Your apartment is tiny.”

“Yes you can. For as long as you need to. You’re my friend and I love and care about you. If you’re hurting, then I’m hurting. Let me help in anyway I can.”

Reid heard Y/N swallow deeply, almost as if she was swallowing her pride. She looked at him, meeting his eyes properly for the first time all day.

“Thanks Spencer,” she whispered hoarsely.

Placing his hand on her back, he led her to his car.

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try
To fix you

eudokimia  asked:

17. “Ignore me, I didn’t see anything” with Gabriel please :3 ??

(gif is not mine)

As you walked through your bedroom in your robe, you sang along to the music on your phone.  This had to be one of the calmest mornings you had had in a long time.  You took out some clothes from your dresser, setting them down on top. 

You let the robe drop the the floor.  When you were half dressed, you grabbed your robe from the floor.  That’s when you saw Gabriel out of the corner of your eye.  You covered your body with your robe, glaring at the archangel who sat on the edge of your bed.  You weren’t sure if your cheeks were red from embarrassment or fury.

“Ignore me, I didn’t see anything [Y/N],” Gabriel mused, pushing off of your bed.  “Just thought I’d pop in and check on you.”

“You popped in at the wrong time,” you scolded, grabbing your t-shirt.  You slipped the fabric over your head,  pulling on your pants.  “I could have been naked.”

“That would have been something to see,” Gabriel smirked, wiggling his eyebrows.  “Maybe you can show me some time.”

You scoffed, rolling your eyes.  You brushed past the archangel, knowing that he was only one step behind you.

(Tags below the cut)

Keep reading

Losing your virginity to Sandor Clegane would include :

(Wooooo more GOT prompts! Yaaas Sandor! Hope it is as requested and you all like it :D Gif not mine/found it on google/credit to the original owner.)

-You kissing him and touching his scar softly to reassure him that you’re fine being with him

-Him trying to stop you and reminding you that he’ll end up having to hurt you if this goes on

-You keeping at it and feeling him up only to turn him on even more

-Him trying to be careful and gentle with the way he hold you and kisses you back

-Him suddenly picking you up and laying down on carefully on the bed

-Him helping you out of your clothes and suddenly getting all nervous and shy when he realizes how beautiful you are

-Him asking you what you would want him to do and doing his best to bring you some pleasure

-His kisses getting gradually rougher and him kissing down your neck, leaving some hickeys

-Him slowly thrusting inside of you and waiting for you to tell him or give him a sign that it’s alright for him to keep going

-His pace being slow and making his passionate side come out and show you his feelings for you

Not Familiar [a Barry Allen/Sebastian Smythe imagine]

Request: Hey. I was wondering if you could write an Sebastian/Barry crossover Imagine where Barry accidentally goes into a different world and he meets the reader and sees that Sebastian is there and panics bc he thinks that’s his doppelgänger. Then you can choose whatever happens next. Thanks love ❤️ your writing.

a/n: i love u…… i tried…..


Cisco is still getting used to vibing Barry. So, now the speedster is on a completely different earth. Quickly, he finds some normal clothes, flashing out of his suit. Walking down the somewhat busy street, Barry looks around, taking in the vaguely familiar setting of Central City.

“There you are!” you beam, grabbing his arm. There’s a lot more…muscle. Wierd. “I’ve been looking for you everyw- Did you get a haircut?” you ask quizzingly, raising an eyebrow as you continue to head towards the school. Your speckled gray sweater sways against your jean-clad thighs, brown boots padding on the sidewalk.

Gulping, Barry goes to pull away only to be yanked back. Great, he has to impersonate his doppelgänger again. This would be a whole lot easier if he had a general idea of how he’s supposed to act. “Y/N/N?” Oh shit… Barry turns slightly, cringing at the sight of another him; this him is in some kind of uniform.

Your eyes widen and you step away from Barry, clinging to your friend’s thin arm. Yup, this is way more familiar. “Sebastian… What the fuck?” you whisper, standing on your tiptoes to reach his ear. Barry squints his eyes, shoulders rising as he winces.

“Um, I don’t know?” he replies in a snarky tone, earning a slap on the chest. Sebastian glares at you for a moment before turning to Barry. “Look, I don’t know how you have my face or where you came from, but you’re freaking my friend out.” he explains, nodding his head mockingly. “So I would go.”

The speedster bites his lip nervously, watching Sebastian run a hand through his light brown hair, scrunching his tie. “Um… yeah. Sorry… I… You looked like my friend.” Barry mumbles, gesturing to you. You hide behind the Warbler, still holding his upper arm; Sebastian glares, green eyes sparkling. “I’ll just go..” he says awkwardly, pointing over his shoulder.

You inhale as the guy walks away, gazing up at your friend. “Sebby… that was really weird…” you murmur, letting him lead you towards McKinley.

Sebastian scoffs, “I know.” he pauses, “And what did we say about calling me that in public?!” You just giggle.

Situation: person A has a really bad wound of some kind that has debris stuck in it. Person B (who is close to A) and person C find them and realize they have to get them patched up immediately but they can’t leave the debris in the wound. B tries to pull the debris out while C holds A down, A screaming through cloth as things are pulled from their flesh. B and A make eye contact at one point and B, who was already having trouble just listening to A’s pained gasps, has to stop the (rushed) procedure bc it’s all just Too Much. A is groaning on the ground, sweating and breathing heavy, wincing at every breath as it shifts the wound. B takes deep breaths too, C attempting to comfort them and saying that they’ll take over the first aid. C finishes taking the debris out of the sound, B holding A’s hand tight and A gripping back tighter through the pain. Eventually it’s over and it’s all A can do to stay awake. They whisper a weak “I’m sorry” to B and pass out. B and C solemnly take A to get better care, B’s hand never leaving A’s

I am now Eyewitness trash

XxX

It’s when Philip rolls over, his hand reaching for the familiar warmth next to him and finding nothing, that he wakes up. He blinks into the darkness, frowning as he feels the sheets in the empty spot next to him, not quite cold but not entirely warm and glances over at the alarm clock on the table.

When he sees it’s not even five in the morning yet, he sits up. There is a familiar feeling in his stomach, a mixture of worry and nerves that has never gone away just lessened into a dull ache reemerging only at times when Lukas runs a little longer at the grocery store or when he doesn’t answer a call on the first ring.

Philip swallows it down and climbs out of bed. He reaches for the first articles of clothing he comes across and walks into the hallway in his boxers and Lukas’ shirt. He pads quietly down the stairs, avoiding switching on lights and maneuvering through the dark house by pure memory.

When he steps through the kitchen, toward the storm porch, he finally finds Lukas; his stomach settles and he lets out the breath he didn’t know he was holding. 

“Hey,” he says quietly, stepping deliberately on a few creaking boards in the floor, just to make sure Lukas is aware of his presence before he steps onto the porch with him.

“Hey.”

Lukas is in sweatpants and Philip’s old hoodie, the sleeves balled up around his hands. He’s staring out into the field and Philip follows his eyes and sees a few of their turkeys strutting around, enjoying the quiet morning.

He closes the gap between the two of them, slowly slips his arms around Lukas’ waist, feels the way Lukas relaxes against him, and rests his head against Lukas’ shoulder. “Everything okay?”

Lukas makes a noncommittal noise and Philip presses a soft kiss into the fabric of his hoodie. “Hey. I thought we agreed the ‘no talking’ thing actually didn’t make you seem cool.”

Lukas huffs but Philip feels him tense again. “….I had a nightmare.”

Philip squeezes him once. “Oh?”

He waits. Lukas nods.

“We were back in the cabin,” he says, his voice unsure and sixteen all over again; Philip’s heart aches. “And he shot you….but he didn’t shoot me.”

His breath hitches a little and Philip squeezes him tighter. “He left me there. You were bleeding out on the floor and there was nothing I could do and I just watched you-”

He cuts off with a sob, barely audible and Philip quickly moves around him, catches Lukas’ face in his hands and says in a soft voice, “Hey, hey, hey. I’m here, okay? I’m alive. We’re alive.”

Lukas nods, his eyes watery and Philip pulls him down, presses their foreheads together. “And he’s gone. He’s gone and he’s never going to hurt us again.”

Lukas reaches for him, wraps Philip in his arms despite the fact that he’s the one who needs comforting and buries his face in the spot between Philip’s neck and shoulder. 

It had been almost five years now, since that night in the woods. Since the killing and the secrets and the lies. Since Philip convinced Lukas that they had to tell before anyone else was killed and Helen went face to face with the killer masquerading as a fighter for justice.

It had been five years since he was killed.

Lukas still has nightmares. This is the latest of many that has wrestled him from the bed early in the morning, that has driven Philip after him. There are still nights he wakes up shouting, others crying quietly. 

There are also times in public that Philip has made eye contact with a stranger and frozen completely. Times when the sound of a car in the driveway has caused him to go tense, drop whatever he was holding. In those moments, it’s Lukas with the comforting touches and soft words.

They’re okay together; they’re okay because they’re together.

When Lukas’ body stops shaking and he starts to pull back from Philip’s arms, Philip lets him go, gives him the moment to collect himself as he glances out the window at the life they’ve managed to create. 

The run down barn they used to go to, when they drank and smashed cars, now gleams proudly in the field, the home of Lukas’ motocross bikes and Philip’s many, many photos. The turkeys that have free range, an inside joke that no one else has ever tried to understand. The home they built together, that they share. 

Lukas lets out a shaky breath and Philip turns to him, smiling softly. “Hey.”

“Hey,” Lukas says again but this time he can smile. 

Philip reaches out to stroke his cheek. “You want to try to go back to sleep? Or do you want me to make some coffee and get an early start? Check on our fucking turkeys?”

Lukas laughs. “Check on our fucking turkeys.”

Philip nods and leans in, kissing him soundly. Lukas moves against him instinctively, hands on waist pulling and holding. 

“One cup or two?” Philip asks against his mouth.

“Three.”

Philip laughs and pulls back, runs his hands over Lukas’s face, neck, chest. Just assuring himself he’s here, that they are both here and alive and safe. 

“Maybe I’ll make breakfast too,” he says and Lukas smiles.

“Lucky me.”

“Nah,” Philip says quietly, “Lucky me.”

Lukas kisses his forehead. “Lucky us.”

The moment is broken when Philip lightly shoves him away. “Fucking sap. Go check on your turkeys, weirdo.”

“You’re the one who bought them, weirdo.” Lukas calls back as Philip makes his way into the kitchen and toward the stove. 

I Know Him So Well.

I know him so well.

He goes to bed at ten, every night. He says goodbye to his friends on the Internet and shuts his laptop down, like clockwork, and then he changes out of his clothes and goes to bed. He dreams, but never remembers what about. When he wakes up in the morning, he’s always slept in, and he hurries to get to school in time. He gets home at thirty six minutes past three and does his homework, and then he returns to his laptop until bed. He likes gummy bears, horror films and music that has screamed vocals. He doesn’t really have any friends apart from me, so he keeps some weed in his sock drawer for when the loneliness gets too much. He doesn’t know what he wants to do after school, but he knows he wants to go and live in a big city. London, maybe. He’s so sad because he doesn’t realise how beautiful he is. I don’t know what I’d be if I didn’t love him like I do. I was nothing before him.

We’ve lived together for twelve months now, it’s nice. I used to be one of those faceless people he speaks to online, until we both realised that we couldn’t live with being so far away from each other. I moved to the other end of the country to be with him, I made so many sacrifices and I don’t regret it at all. His parents are nice, but we just spent most of the time up in his room alone. We don’t talk like we used to before I moved in, though. Most of the time I just watch him. It’s how I know so much about him.

Tonight, his routine’s changed. He doesn’t touch the laptop, he just lies on his bed with his face in the pillow and cries. I was concerned, until I looked at his calendar and realised the date. Of course he’s upset; it’s been a year since I hanged myself.

Fatherly Love

Warnings: fluff
Rating: everyone
Summary: daddy!Chris x Reader where you have a baby girl together and you go to your family’s for Christmas and she’s shy and clinging to mommy and daddy and just a whole bunch of fluff! (as requested by @lifeisworththelivingg)
A/N: let’s just pretend it’s still Christmas lol ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Y/N = your name
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Previous Part (prequel)

“Alright, we’re gonna put some clothes on now, okay?” You said to your daughter, Aria, only having just bathed her and towelled her dry. You wrapped the towel around her body and picked her up, cradling her head. You carried her to your bedroom, smiling as she giggled happily.

“Teddy,” she said, reaching for her favorite teddy bear as you set her down onto your and Chris’s bed. You’d set her clothes out on the bed prior to bathing her, and figured that having Teddy there would be a good distraction as you put her clothes on. You put on her diaper and blew raspberries on the skin of her soft belly, tickling her as she squealed delightedly. After you’d finished pulling up her leggings and putting on her Christmas jumper, she shouted, “Me up!” and held out her arms for you to pick her up again.

You did so, picking her up, twirling her round and throwing her a little bit into the air and catching her. You were both laughing when you heard the sound of a phone camera shutter going off a couple times. You looked to see your husband standing in the doorway, watching you both with awe, phone in hand.

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