doumeki shizuka

Doumeki’s Lust in xxxHOLIC Rou Adayume (Selfish Dream)

Cages wanting to trap him, hands wanting to grab him, mouths trying to devour him, shadows wanting to possess him…  Dreams are a reflection of innermost desires of your mind.

Yes, we know Haruka.

I’ve recently re-watched xxxHolic Rou Adayume (literally translated as xxxHolic Cage: Selfish Dream) and noticed how I felt more disturbed during Doumeki’s nightmare scene than the first time I watched it. At first, I thought it had been Watanuki trying to run from danger but that didn’t fit why he looked quite disturbed when talking to Haruka afterwards. Also, why was the OAD titled ‘Selfish Dream? That could only mean Doumeki’s dream was selfish. But Doumeki and selfishness don’t go together, right? 

For me, the initial talk Haruka gave about selfish human hearts and the nightmare scene revealed the whole picture: Doumeki lusted after Watanuki but he knew his desires were selfish since acting upon them would be detrimental to Watanuki’s future. So, the later had to enter his nightmare and free himself from Doumeki’s selfish desires.

Allow me to explain why I believe it was ‘lust’.

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xxxHolic: Kei ✦ - E03 Half || Everything is half-half. It is impossible for one side to take on everything. Otherwise, the world would tilt too much to one side, and everything would collapse. “Half the work for each of us, right?”


Long before the shopkeeper was the wise one, he was the reckless one. He did not care for himself, landed on perilous situations. “It’s fine, other people matter more” he would always say, with that kind look on his face. It was not okay, but the shopkeeper couldn’t care less. They matter, not him.

Unable to see his worth, his master called in the guardian. The guardian who gave him half of his eye when he lost his The guardian who gave him his blood when he needed it. The guardian who gave him his descendants so that he wouldn’t be lonely. Everything the guardian did, he did it for him. The shopkeeper whom he cherished the most, the shopkeeper whom he’d give his life for. The shopkeeper whom he loved irrevocably that it hurt.

The Guardian did (and would have done) all of this for the shopkeeper without asking anything but for the shopkeeper’s safety. However, with the path that the shopkeeper took, it was in vain.

P.S. this is a computer background. Feel free to use it if you want! :)

It’s April 1st.  I did not plan on finishing this today but I did.  There’s an obvious line about hitsuzen here for you to make, but I can’t because I’m busy caring too much about CLAMP ;…;  Put me out of my misery.  Or if you’re going to be at ECCC next weekend, come by tables C6-7 and come cry with me.  

Which Doumeki is this???  UP TO YOU.  This is obv. long-term Watanuki since he’s all fabulous and smoking.

(for those playing along at home, this is also my March Drawterry challenge, using the words glow, eyeball, cherry blossoms.)

my shop~~~


But the one Tsuyuri cares the most is you.

cumberbatchcritter  asked:

I'm gonna be really predictable, but ❁ Doumeki ❁

i’m so sorry it’s gonna be more watanuki than doumeki LOL


i feel like if yuuko isnt there to harass watanuki at 3 in the morning for chocolates, he would be the type to forget valentine’s day existed