Never forget how Disney ruined Doug by slapping on a bunch of arbitrary bullshit changes:
• The Beets broke up • Honker Burger closed • Roger got rich • Connie got a more “normal” body type • Doug became Porkchop’s pet • Skeeter’s safeword changed from “honk honk” to “eebeedeebee”
• The town was named Doug
• “Patti Mayonnaise Memorial Swimming Pool” WTF!
• Mayor White became part of Doug’s circle of friends • Sex moans in the theme song • Everyone could see Doug’s imagination sequences happen in reality • 9/11 predictions got a lot less subtle
• Mr. Dink calmed down
• Judy Funnie became a baby • Mr. Bone lived in Doug’s walls • Doug’s voice actor was replaced by Sir Michael Caine
• Every episode was 4 hours long
• Every character was nude with grotesquely long, muscular torsos • Roger always dropped a gun on the floor in every scene
• Doug turned twelve
• Every episode ended with Doug’s parents dying
Doug and his friends are college freshmen at Bluffington State University. In his journal, Doug describes his experiences with each of his friends since entering college.
Doug Funnie + Porkchop
Dear Journal: I can’t believe tomorrow is my first day of college. I’m both excited and a bit anxious. This feeling reminds me of the time my family and I first moved to Bluffington. It seems like it was just yesterday that Skeeter taught me how to properly place an order at Honker Burger. Or when I accidentally spilled ketchup on Roger’s suede shoes. I miss those days. Life was simpler then. The thought of moving away from home is kinda scary, but at least i’ll have my best pal Skeeter is my roommate. How bad can it be?
Dear Journal: At first I thought having my best pal Skeeter as a roommate would be sweet, but man… I can’t get any studying done when he’s around! His beat boxing makes it nearly impossible to focus. He’s worse than Larvell Jones in Police Academy! I can’t even get any rest because he Honks in his sleep. Now don’t get me wrong, Skeeter’s great, but this arrangement just isn’t quite what I thought it would be. I wonder if it’s too late to share a dorm with Al & Moo Sleech?
Dear Journal: My roommate situation may be less than ideal, but at least I share a class with Patti. It seems i’m not the only one that’s having a hard time adjusting to college life. The thought of not being at home to help her dad worries her sometimes. I think softball helps to ease her mind. She’s still quite the tomboy. Her new hairstyle seems to reflect that also. She’s never looked better. Even after all of these years I still get butterflies when I’m around her though…
Dear Journal: I think it goes without saying that Chalky is the most popular guy on campus. He’s a star student. All the girls love him. All the guys want to be him. And he’s the starting quarterback of the football team. In Bluffington State’s first game against The University of Bloatsburg Chalky threw a total of six touchdown passes. Pretty amazing stuff. What’s even more amazing to me is despite all of his accomplishments he still thinks he’s trapped in his older brother’s shadow.
Beebe Bluff + Connie Benge
Dear Journal: Social media is a great way to keep in touch with friends, but if you happen to be Beebe and Connie it’s just a more convenient way to gossip. Since Beebe became “instagram famous” she’s more snobby than before, which I didn’t even think was possible. And Connie’s ego is even bigger than her head ever since she reached 10,000 Twitter followers. It’s not easy to relate to them anymore unfortunately… It’s like they’re completely consumed!
Judy Funnie + Porkchop
Dear Journal: I’ve been feeling a little homesick lately. I kinda miss my family. (Even Judy but don’t tell her I told you that). I hope my buddy Porkchop is doing okay without me. He’s getting pretty old. Mom says Judy put him on a diet because he put on few pounds from all those Honker Burgers. Nothing but beets and water. That’s no way to live. I guess Judy didn’t know that beets make Porkchop gassy before she made that decision. Boy is she in for surprise!
Roger Klotz + Stinky
Dear Journal: During middle school and high school Roger gave me a hard time. So I was a bit relieved when I learned that he wasn’t going to be joining us at Bluffington State. I hear he went to Bloatsburg Tech. Ned, Boomer and Willy are here, but it seems they don’t really know how to function without Roger at the helm so they joined a fraternity. They’re relatively harmless now. Though Boomer did tell me that Roger and Judy secretly dated briefly. Ugh.. Can you imagine if they got married? That would make Roger my brother-in-law. Yikes!
There was nothing like “Doug” prior to 1990. Most of what came before the rise of the new order of Nicktoons – “Ren And Stimpy” and “Rugrats” – consisted of pre-approved ideas, taken to the small screen after they had already been widely popularized. That’s not to say there wasn’t variation, but there was no original content. Shows like “Ninja Turtles” and “Charlie Brown” were taken from comics that came long before their characters found a way to your Saturday morning tube. “Where’s Waldo” had already been a hit as a book. The “Doug” pilot, “Doug Bags A Neematoad,” was the first in a new era of kids’ programming and, perhaps more important, the lessons it taught continue to pervade pop culture more than two decades later.
“It was impossible.” Jim Jinkins said, remembering the way his show got picked up. Not only were networks not yet trading in original ideas, but Jinkins hadn’t even counted television among his hopes for the character, which started out as something he was doing just to process his day.
Where Doug had a diary, Jinkins had single-panel cartoons. The creation of Doug popped up as an alter ego who just so happened to be easy to draw. “Those are not hair plugs!” Jinkins said, clarifying the identity of the eight lines sticking out of Doug’s head. “That was just my way of using the least amount of lines to create this character and this world.”