double target

okay I feel horrible about this but it’s also hilarious so buckle up

I was in a match as mercy today (surprise I know not like she’s my main or anything) and I tried to fly to teammates on the point but they died so I’m standing there by myself like an asshole and I hear an enemy junkrat initiate his ult so I try to fucking book it to find a teammate to fly to but they’re all at spawn so I turn around as I hear the riptire getting closer… and rez the two teammates on the point because I thought/hoped he’d turn around for a double kill instead of me and he actually did and I’m sorry I’m still laughing but feel super bad

and that is honestly the shittiest thing I’ve ever done purposely as mercy


Imagine being Tony’s daughter and Peter having crush on you. (I’m always a slut for protective dad!tony so…)


Peter stood behind you a nervous, yet hopeful smile on his face. He cleared his throat awkwardly but you didn’t move. Maybe you didn’t hear him.
“H-hey (Y/n).” he called. Still nothing. This was not helping his nervousness. Why were you ignoring him? What had he done? Had he been annoying you all along? Where you just pretending to be his friend this whole time? Maybe you hated him!
“Oh, hey Peter. Why are you just standing there?”
He looked back up to you to find you had turned around and seen him. In one hand, you had an earbud which was playing music so loud he could hear from there.
He felt a weight being lifted off his chest.
“Oh, hi (Y/n). I-I was just w-wondering if…” he trailed off as he looked at you. Why did you have to look at him with those eyes and that smile and that face? It just made his heart go into overdrive.
“Spiderling, (Y/n), what are you two doing sitting in silence like that? Really awkward.” Tony said as he walked in to the room.
“Its spiderman…” he commented weakly, making you smile and laugh a bit.
“(Y/n), your friend is down stairs waiting for you. I think they’re crying. Something about a crush?” Tony said as he poured himself some coffee.
“Oh crap.” you mumbled before turning to Peter, “Can this wait? I’ll be right back.”
With that, you jumped off your seat and speed walked down the hall.
“O-oh ya ok, sure…” he trailed off, watching you leave.
“So. You wanna share with me what you where planning on asking my daughter?” Tony asked, his eyebrow raised. He had that look in his eyes, the one he got when ever someone made a move, or tried to at least, on his daughter.
“What? I wasn’t uh n-nothing. I wasn’t asking anything.” stop stuttering, he mentally yelled.
“Look, I see the way you stare at her and I don’t really appreciate it. So do us all a favor and don’t. Parker, you’re a good kid, but (Y/n) needs to be focused on school right now, she doesn’t need a boy distracting her. Not to mention being my kid is dangerous enough, she doesn’t need to be a double target by dating you.”
He grabbed his coffee and left, leaving Peter speechless. He knew Tony was very protective over you, but he never though he would forbid him from being with you.
Maybe it was for the best. At least now he wouldn’t have to risk embarrassing himself by telling you how he feels.
“Peter?” your voice caused him to jump and he spun around to find you standing there, mouth slightly open and a light blush on your cheeks.
“(Y-Y/n).” he stammered, “You’re back fast.”
“There was no one down there. Was what he said true?” you asked, taking a few steps forward.
He stared with wide eyes. Oh no. Oh. No.
You continued to step closer.
What should he say? How much did you hear?
Before he knew it you were face to face looking up at him with those eyes.
“Do you have feelings for me?”
He simply nodded. That’s all he could do. His heart was pounding and he was pretty sure his hands where shaking.
“I-I like you (Y/n). Like, really like.” that was all he could manage.
The words hardly left his mouth before you stood up on your toes and kissed him.
He was still for a moment while his brain registered what was happening. Then he forced himself back into reality, and kissed you back. His hands tentatively rested on your waist while yours reached up to cup his cheeks.
“What fuck- Damn it Parker! What did I just say!”

*gif not mine*

hamelin-born  asked:

Re: Your latest post on 'commodified' tzai: for some reason, I was struck with the mental image of 'redeemed' Vader having the 'evil' idea to mention that his former mentor, Obi-Wan Kenobi, used to love drinking tea, and he had that one specific blend, what was it now, he really misses that - and the Galaxy promptly forgets tzai as it falls all over itself to be the first to discover 'Master Kenobi's Special Blend'. (Which was tea leaves, hot water, and a splash of Coreillian brandy.)

Wellllll, I don’t think that would entirely distract people: after all, Tatooine slave culture is the new happening thing, and no matter how much Anakin talks up missing his old mentor’s “special brew,” the plain fact is Kenobi is yesteryear’s news, whereas Anakin has (much to his own disgust) all the glamour of having been a successful double agent for years, plus the soap opera that is the Skywalker family and their ultimate reunion.

So I think he’d still toss Kenobi’s “special blend” out there, which would indeed draw some attention. But then he might have to fully embrace his inner Ekkreth and just have some fun with it.

Picture this: Anakin calls up ten of the top media agencies in the galaxy. He promises them each an exclusive. As part of that exclusive, he tells them the top secret Skywalker recipe for tzai.

All ten media outlets release their “exclusives.”

All ten tzai recipes are different.

(And, of course, none of them are actually the Skywalker blend at all. The majority of them aren’t even palatable. Some of them use ingredients that can’t even be found on Tatooine. Anakin made them all up on the spot after meeting each of his interviewers and doing a quick bit of sizing up to see what he could get away with.)

So the mystery continues. And, as a bonus, the mystery of Kenobi’s Special Blend also continues. (Though the truth in that case is disappointingly simple. Kenobi’s special blend is any kind of tea he had on hand, plus a liberal dose of alcohol. Brandy is preferred, but other things will do in a pinch.)

anonymous asked:

What are some of your favorite HakxYona fan fiction?

Hi there! Okay get ready lmao I take this very seriously so it’s really long oops
I know I’m missing good ones and would like to HIGHLY encourage you to search through AO3 on your own to find ones you like!! The HakYona tag isn’t that long lmao

I’d say check too but lord that place sure is a hell hole. I sorted through the entire AkaYona tag for you tonight and it just reminded me that somewhere out there I still have Hetalia fic I wrote in 2010 posted on that site. Scary.

Also you can check out @yona-chan who does an excellent job of reblogging/posting all the Yona fics that are posted to this blue abyss.

UHHHH I included some Hak/Yona+ fics too because I’m a poly shipper with them through and through 

Anway fics marked with – in front of them are like top faves. Enjoy!

Keep reading

I borrowed my roommates clothes because it’s going to be crazy hot today and I had only packed pants for work and the struggle between freezing at work in a t-shirt and melting to death in jeans in my air condition-less car was getting extreme except then I woke up this morning at my old house and the power was out so I had to pack up my freezer meals and haul ass to my apartment and throw those in a working freezer and then I realized I had like twenty minutes to do nothing so I took this photo and I haven’t washed my hair in days but like look at that shit my messy ponytail is cute as fuck and I don’t have a microwave for my breakfast sandwich but at least I bought starbucks double shots from target last night which are half the cost of getting coffee every morning which is truly a habit I cannot afford to form and this’ll be the first time I wore a dress at my new job and I know every one’ll comment but really y'all i’m just trying not to freeze at work with this sweater and not have crotch sweat on my drive home

so in conclusion what i’m trying to say is,
god bless sundresses

Curse the Perve part 2

People with vaginas can be sexual predators, too. This is to inflict serious pain on those perpetrators with ovaries anytime  they even think of sexually assaulting or harassing someone. This spell will only work on those that actually deserve it.

You will need:
•berry of your choosing, although I recommend something round and small; you’ll need two
•a flower with somewhat sturdy petals
•black thread
•red pepper flakes
•fire safe container

Fruit are the plant’s ovaries, so they’ll be a perfect substitute for your target’s. Start by shallowly cutting the two berries all over with little knicks. Once they are cut to your liking, set them aside. Fill your bowl with just enough vinegar to cover the two fruits and place them in. While those soak in the vinegar, it it time to turn to your flower. Sprinkle the red pepper flakes over the flower, concentrating the most pepper to the center. Take your needle and black thread and sew the flower shut, binding it completely from opening again. Leave enough string to place the two fruits on. Now, come back to your fruits. Take the fruits out of the vinegar and place the sewn flower into the vinegar. Now that you have your fruits out, completely coat them in the red pepper flakes. Push some of the pepper into the cuts you previously made. Envision the target doubled over in pain with severe cramps anytime they even think of sexually assaulting someone. They can not think of violating another person without feeling as if their ovary is being ripped open. Once you are satisfied with the two berries, take out your flower again. Run the berries onto the bit of string you left for them. Place this all into a fire safe container and burn it once it dries. Scatter the ashes and remnants of the spell outside. If you would like to help survivors of sexual abuse and assualt, please consider donating to RAINN.

When Jane Austen wrote her first version of Persuasion’s concluding chapters, she presented an episode in which the reiterated trope of Anne’s unhappy and partial overhearing is given climactic and even extreme form. In this draft, later discarded, Anne overhears through a door. Because the listening behind a door seems quasi-theatrical, and because Jane Austen, rather than rewriting the chapter, abandoned it altogether, the passage can be more readily dismissed than it deserves. But this first attempt throws considerable light on the determinants of the novel’s underlying structure…. [Anne] is stuck, sitting trapped in a room, made to become the unwilling witness of a dialogue that, despite Wentworth’s keeping his voice down, and trying to restrain Admiral Croft’s, evidently becomes an altercation between the two men about something to do with her…. As before in Persuasion, Anne Elliot hears herself spoken of, again only in snatches, but in this scene it is even in a context she cannot understand. Her powerlessness, is graphically represented by the door: a ‘thin’, permeable barrier, so that her hearing through it becomes an acute representation in physical terms of her marginal status — being both inside and outside — that the novel has found so many ways to define. The very forcefulness of the men, with the impatient Wentworth almost losing his temper, seems to underline the fact that she has no power to govern her own life. This carefully staged scene thus recapitulates the novel’s contrast between genders, representing it, again, in material terms…

It is known that Jane Austen was unhappy with this conclusion to her lovers’ story. She wrote 'Finis’ on the manuscript on 18 July 1816, but, according to her nephew, 'she thought it tame and flat’, and one night 'retired to rest in very low spirits’ after signing it off. Because the two endings of Persuasion are so different, and because it seems astonishing that the novelist should not have worked out how her lovers were to be reunited, even before she began her work, one is inevitably led to some biographical, or rather bioliterary, speculation. Austen knows, then, as she approaches the end of the novel in July 1816 that the final scene must be the culmination of the situations she has imagined throughout the novel. It should be another scene of overhearing, it should again rehearse in some form those impediments that have so far prevented the lovers from understanding each other, and it must be a scene in which the contrasting roles of ladies and gentlemen, of men and women, are somehow again the subject. And as a skilled writer she knows this scene must be a scene of heightened drama, of emotional tension. But how to bring off all these requirements? She could imagine a scene in which Wentworth simply avows his love and is accepted. But she has already written one in which he comes very near to this, only to be interrupted by the man who he thinks is his rival. This has effectively achieved one of her fundamental aims — to reiterate the contingent, continually besieged nature of their communication, now made even more difficult by the jealousy Mr Elliot’s attentions have aroused and the continual interference of other people’s affairs. Through Anne, she has even declared the problem that confronts her: 'How was the truth to reach [Wentworth]? How, in all the peculiar disadvantages of their respective situations, would he ever learn her real sentiments?’ As a woman in the early nineteenth century, Anne can hardly confess her love to him. How could a scene of Wentworth avowing his undying love be made convincing? She has to imagine them coming together through some mode of silent communication.

And so the scene she writes meets these co-ordinates of her imagination. It is a good scene, half comic, half dramatic. It presents two men quarreling about how to act, but each able to act, to take change, and it shows Anne in an extreme condition of contingency, a lonely prisoner in the next room, a prisoner, now literally, of the female role. Her fate is again apparently being decided by men. But if Jane Austen goes to bed depressed after writing this scene, isn’t it because — to use a modern phrase — the novel now makes no statement? She has left her heroine powerless, an actually silenced, condition. Perhaps unwell herself, she may have reflected her own depression by returning her heroine to the position that her narrative has shown her gradually escaping. She has written a scene that intensifies, that climaxes many of the earlier situations she has worked with, but there is something crucial missing. Isn’t the problem that there is no overturning in the silent if 'very powerful Dialogue’ of Anne’s self-suppression, of that miserable abeyance [Austen] has constructed her sentences throughout the novel so carefully to both replicate and hide? Is the problem that she has not allowed Anne to express and recover something of her own personal history, never allowed Anne to be fully present to the reader? And hasn’t the minor theme she has worked at, the way Anne’s consciousness is imbued with her reading, been left behind? But soon she begins to feel herself less ill, and, moreover, 'feeling new strength’, she imagines a completely new scene. 

Over the next fortnight, according to her sister’s record, Jane Austen radically revised the conclusion of her novel, inventing in the course of it two new chapters in which the cast of characters is reassembled at the White Hart Inn, Bath. But she retained, and reworked, the central trope of this earlier version: overhearing, and specifically, the partial overhearing of the marginalised subject…. Anne enters, sits down, and since she sees that Wentworth is one of the party, is 'deep in the happiness of such misery, or the misery of such happiness, instantly’. Wentworth gets up and goes to a separate table some distance away to write a letter on behalf of his friend Harville…. When Captain Harville gets up and moves to a window, he invites Anne to join him, and not for the first time she 'rouses’ herself from an absent state of mind, gets up and crosses the room to join him…. Now the geography of this interior is made more specific: 'The window at which he stood, was at the other end of the room from where the two ladies were sitting, and though nearer to Captain Wentworth’s table, not very near’. Thus the 'thin door’ that once kept Anne apart from Wentworth and Admiral Croft is re-created as a space that should preserve, and yet does not quite preserve, privacy, but with the positions of speakers and listener reversed. 

Rather than rehearsing once again the polarisation of the genders, like the first version of the novel’s resolution, the conversation between Harville and Anne that Austen now conceives is an explicit debate about gender difference, and it is one in which both speakers take equal roles. Anne Elliot now achieves textual being as an intellectual woman, who, like Elizabeth Bennet and Emma Woodhouse, enjoys an argument and has lawyer-like logic at her command. Their exchange is about grief, and the different ways in which a man and a gentlewoman experience and deal with it…. Anne is at last allowed to speak in effect of what she has long been forced to withhold. The depth of her experience emerges when she speaks of the feelings that 'prey’ upon a woman who has no outlet for her emotional energies, or when, after an escalating series of sentences, she finds herself speaking 'with a faltering voice’ (though still in general terms) about what her tremor admits are her personal feelings. 

Both enjoy the debate, but they are talking quietly so as not to disturb Wentworth’s writing at the desk, till they hear a noise from his 'perfectly quiet division of the room’. ('Division’ suggests both contiguity and separation: he is equally present in the same space, and cut off.) It is at the precise moment when Anne speaks 'with a faltering voice’ that Wentworth drops his pen. Anne is 'startled at finding him nearer than she supposed; and half inclined to suspect that the pen had only fallen, because he had been occupied by them, striving to catch sounds, which yet she did not think he could have caught’…. It may be a mistake, though, to suggest as some distinguished critics do, that Anne is implicitly addressing her speeches, and especially the last one, to Wentworth. This reading assumes that she has not concluded he is too far away to catch her words. If her speech, as Tony Tanner put it, has a 'double target and dual purpose’, this implies a certain insincerity in her avowals to Harville, as if she were not aroused and stimulated by Harville’s own strong feeling, and makes much less telling the response in Wentworth’s letter. It is the purity of Anne’s feelings here, not their doublings, that is moving…. Anne and Harville are talking about the different accommodations of men and women to grief: it may seem to a reader that Anne is affirming the enduring power of her own feelings, but this is implicit, and what is implicit is not a declaration. The truth is that the scene is more subtle and more subtly conceived: that Austen makes it difficult to be sure of how much Anne’s awareness of Wentworth’s presence in the room is transmuted into the emotional force of her eloquence…. 

Anne has been the dependent listener; Wentworth by contrast has been shown as the confident, attention-commanding, textually dominant speaker. The subordinate role assigned to her, even in that first draft of their romance’s conclusion, is now assigned to him. Their positions (as before, literally) are reversed. She has been forced to sit, catching fragments of discourse, listening in to conversations that —whether they wound or elevate her —cause her consciousness to cloud or her heart to beat faster. Her emotional life has often been lived and displayed to the reader only through these overhearings. Now it is Wentworth, the energetic male raconteur, who is the passive partner, sitting at the table, held there by his task, while she stands at the window, he overhearing sounds that bear upon his life, his prospects, his feelings, unable wholly to possess what he overhears. Through the novels’ trope of filtered hearing, the conventional attributes of their gender are exchanged. 

Jane Austen’s first version of her finale climaxed many of the situations that her previous chapters had displayed. But it had failed to engage with the crucial issue of Anne’s reticence: her silences not only within the action, but within her own text. Persuasion repeatedly presented Anne as 'only Anne’, the despised, marginal, unregarded spinster. At the same time it allowed the reader to know what a fund of intelligence and feeling lay beneath her quietness, to accumulate a sense of her hidden passionate life, intimated by the novelist in many, but oblique, ways. In the finale as it now stands Anne Elliot commands the textual stage. She defines and laments the life of the gentlewoman, a life of severely restricted opportunities. But at this moment she has an opportunity, and she is prepared to seize it. When she tells Harville 'if you please, no reference to examples in books’, her authority is augmented by the clear, extra-diegetic implication that now in this volume, the book in which she is now speaking, the text her reader is now reading, a different story is being told….

Of all the novels, Persuasion is the most obviously a love story. It opens with a tale of love thwarted, its action details the impediments ot that love’s renewal, and it ultimately brings about the return and retrieval of that love, become perhaps deeper and truer than at first. But Austen’s genius was to turn this romantic narrative into a vindication of the right to self-expression, and thus to make her fiction a statement of her own professional and personal identity. As in all of Jane Austen’s novels, it is this unromantic intelligence that leads her readers to re-read, again and again.

—  excerpt from “Anne Elliot and the ambient world”, John Wiltshire’s The Hidden Jane Austen
Double Eviction Targets

Kevin, Neda, Bruno, Jackie and Sindy are all targeting Dre and William.

Dre is targeting Bruno and Kevin.

Emily and Dillion are targeting some combo of Jackie, Sindy, Bruno and Kevin.

Karen is targeting Jackie and Kevin

Ika and Demetres are targeting Jackie and Neda. They had mentioned Dillon but after this afternoons events, who knows? Ika and Demetres were relatively safe but the events of today may have changed all that.

– – –

Nobody is targeting Karen (as of right now)

Possible targets after today’s events, Ika and Demetres 

Top targets are Dre, William, Jackie, Bruno and Kevin
Update 12: Day 6 - We've doubled our original target! · Miss Fisher the Movie
Wow you just doubled our original target in under 7 days! This is phenomenal. Phryne and Jack will get an extra scene in the film thanks to your crowdfunding efforts!! We really appreciate your contribution to our ambitious project. Now that we’ve hit $500,000, why not keep striving higher? If we reach $600,000 it means we’ll be able to increase our visual effects budget so we can elevate the film from the small screen to a total cinematic experience. We’re also talking to our creative team about what other bonuses this money will mean for the film! Updates to come soon.

Whoo-hoo, massive air five to us all! And yessss to an extra Phrack scene in the film!

Let’s keep the momentum going!

The Significance of Double H in Mawaru Penguindrum

Double H, our favorite idol duo of Mawaru Penguindrum, is at face value in the beginning of the anime, some little mascots the viewer recognizes on the subway who continue to pop up with every episode. They are always featured on screens in the subway for public service announcements called “Today’s Slogan”. However, each one of their announcements is relevant to the plot of the specific episode each is featured in. I want to analyze each one of the announcements to detail why Double H is crucial to understanding Mawaru Penguindrum’s themes.

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