double selfportrait

4

After a wonderful conversation I had yesterday with Staci, about how sometimes as artists we get mad at ourselves about ideas we have and don’t act on, or projects we don’t pursue. It’s crazy how we put so much pressure on ourselves and forget that we are human.
So today when I woke I decided to get up, make my coffee and have heart to heart with myself. I decided to forgive myself. I decided to sit in front of my camera raw, fresh from the bed, look at myself and remember that it’s ok. You see the funny thing is as much as I love to take other people’s pictures, I hate having mine taken, we all see our own flaws first. We forget that those imperfections are what make us perfectly unique. Or at least that’s what I think. Just remember to breath and don’t be afraid to love yourself.

And don’t be afraid to laugh at yourself.

(click on photo to see full image)

2

(1) claude cahun, {1928} que me veux-tu?

(2) {2o16} #o17 (week 5) recreation of a photo, assignment for photography class

(12o film (ilford hp5+ pushed to iso 16oo), scanned negative (cropped))

in the end i went with my initial idea of recreating this claude cahun selfportrait. the helena almeida ones i took didn’t work out well with the 127mm lens, as m. was too tall for the little space i had. and after i got the 5omm lens i already decided to go with claude cahun. 

although i immediately thought of claude cahun and this particular photo of hers when we got this assignment, i just as fast rejected the idea, thinking it would be too lazy to recreate such a simple double exposure. haha. i have my presumptuous moments sometimes. of course it wasn’t that easy to do (this is the best of fourteen or fifteen attempts) and in the end it actually is a failure (though i kinda nailed it on the left :D), but well, i’m not too good at working up to a specific goal or imitating something to the last bit, so it’s okay. (& maybe claude cahun’s shot too was something that happened on a way to something else. i really think that this happens more often than not, that people create something great on the way to something else or discover a better idea. that’s why consistent working is crucial, for me at least. one idea leads to another, failures to better solutions, limitations to expansions in maybe more overlooked areas. and being in the work, moving in it, arranging things, walking in places, pointing the camera (or even just the eye, but intentionally) at something, sets you in motion more than just sitting there, waiting for ideas to pop up somewhere in the darkness of one’s head. 

so much for motivational tuesday. (; )

and then i didn’t even have the chance to show this or the other assignments i stressed out to complete in the last weeks, in class today. but that’s fine. none of them turned out completely satisfying anyway. but it was a good mamiya practice and i’ve also got plenty new ideas to pursue.