double over the shoulder punch

Expect Rodents- 1

(A/N: this is the first chapter of a leggy fic that the members of Broadgay Hell convinced me to write

@tryingandfailing, @burrn, (sorry maddie lmao), @tinyplaidninjas @grayscaleeternity @thenameisnym @nefarism anyone else who wrote stuff but didn’t get tagged I’ll add you)

tags: @flannery5sos


Chapter 1:

Margarita Schuyler had already had a long day before all of the rodents.

Not only had a pile of pottery dislodged itself from a tray fresh out of the kiln, shattering on impact, but she had also returned to the break room to find that someone had once again stolen her lunch. Eliza had stopped by earlier, she mused. It might have been her again. She didn’t even work at the Pottery Barn, she just occasionally snuck in if she was hungry.

She had also, while driving home, received a rather cryptic text from her flat mate, Gilbert.

“Expect rodents.”

Whatever that was supposed to mean. She scowled down at her phone, turning it off before walking up the steps of the apartment complex. Maybe she would get some sympathy from Gilbert.

As Peggy entered the room, she couldn’t help but notice the awful stench. What had Lafayette cooked this time?

She stood in the entrance hallway as her roommate ran up to her, abruptly stopping and awkwardly blocking the kitchen doorway. His hair was pulled up into a characteristic bun atop his head and he was noticeable disheveled.

“Hello Peggy!” he said, shifting his form to further block the kitchen. “How was your day?“

“Horrible, since you asked.” Peggy wrinkled her nose again, “What’s that smell?”

“Smell? What smell?” Gilbert responded, once again repositioning himself to better block the door.

Alright, Peggy thought. He wasn’t going to answer. Whatever he had done couldn’t have been that bad. Pushing past Laf, she looked around cautiously.

“Marie-Joseph Paul Yves Roch Gilbert du Marquis de Lafayette, why the everloving fuck is my kitchen filled with hamsters?”

“What hamsters? I see no hamsters.”

“Gilbert, I’m going to ask you one more time. Why. The fuck. Are there hamsters in my kitchen.”

“They’re actually gerbils.” He replied nonchalantly shrugging.

“That doesn’t answer my god damned question.”

The kitchen was certainly a sight to behold. If you looked a bit closer, you could make out the stove and refrigerator, but it was difficult given that Lafayette had somehow managed to fit dozens of gerbils into the room. Peggy gasped.


“Well, you see,” Laf turned to face the kitchen, guiltily tugging at his sleeves. “I had all these hamster balls and I was like ‘hey, what am I gonna do with all these hamster balls?’ and so I filled them with gerbils,” he explained gesturing to the gerbils.

“Uh huh.”

“In my defense, I meant to only order one, but they sent 72, so I had to order 72 gerbils to fill them all. You know?” Laf explained, rather poorly, but still explained.

“Why did want a hamster ball anyway? And why did you put gerbils in them instead of hamsters?”

“That I’m not sure of,”

Lafayette sheepishly sighed and walked over to her. She sniffed and backed away quickly.

“You smell disgusting!” Peggy shot as she recoiled.

“It’s the gerbils.”

“They too, smell disgusting.”

It was then that the ridicule of the situation finally set in. There was 72 gerbils, each contained in their own gerbil balls. In her kitchen. It was like something out of a children’s book. In the light of her terribly shitty day, she couldn’t help but laugh. Her laughter startled Gilbert, who jumped at the loud sound.

She sat down cross legged, still giggling, and buried her head in her hands.
Something knocked against her leg,and she looked down. Sat there in one of those stupid plastic balls, was a black gerbil. It sniffed at her, and she couldn’t help but smile.

“They’re quite cute, no?” Laf chuckled as he sat down next to Peggy. Peggy’s smile faded as she took her eyes away from the gerbil.

“Laf, you can’t realistically think that we’re going to keep 72 gerbils.” Lafayette’s face fell as he looked around the majorly disheveled kitchen before turning back to Peggy.

“W-Why not?”

“You’ve had them for what, six hours, and the kitchen already smells worse than anything you’ve cooked in like, the history of renting this apartment. I’m including the freaky fondue incident.”

Laf looked around, genuinely impressed, and smelled the air again. It took a lot to top that. Peggy sighed as it became clear that the man didn’t understand the situation at all.

“In all seriousness, what the hell are we going to do with 72 gerbils.”

“That I am unsure of.”

“Marquis de Lafayette, this is easily the most stupid thing you have done. Ever.”

The pair sat on the for for another few minutes, marvelling at the gerbils as they rolled around the kitchen, occasionally knocking into each other. Lafayette, exhausted after a day of gerbil wrangling, leaned back on his elbows and stared thoughtfully at the ceiling, while Peggy continued staring at the one black gerbil that had run into her earlier. The conversation had lulled, save for the never-ending scratches of the gerbils.

A loud buzz at the door startled the two. They both jumped up, but not before Alexander yelled through the intercom to buzz them up, and Laf complied immediately. The pair heard loud footsteps bounding up the stairs toward the door before Hamilton burst through the door triumphantly.

“Dammit Alex! Why’d you have to beat me?” Laurens said in between gulps of air.

“I don’t know maybe because I’m faster th-” Alex stopped mid sentence and looked in the kitchen, amazed at what lay before him. “Are those hamsters?”

“No, Alexander, they’re lizards.” Peggy snipped, standing to face him “Of course they’re hamsters!”

“Gerbils.” Laf clarified for the second time of the day.

“For fuck’s sake, same difference.”

“Gerbils have long fluffy tails,” Laf muttered under his breath.

“Woah, looks like Peg’s grown some gerballs since we last saw her.” John added, snickering. Alex turns and gave his boyfriend a punch on the shoulder before doubling over in laughter alongside him.

The punch landed was harder than Alexander had intended, knocking John into a cabinet where an open packet of cinnamon fell on his head.

“Oh no, sweet cinnamon daddy John!” Alex choked out through his laughs. The cinnamon was definitely going to be a pain to wash out of his hair.

“As much as I appreciate the puns, I have to ask. What are you guys doing here?”

“This one,” John starts, before pulling his boyfriend into a side hug, “decided to leave his glasses at a restaurant on this side of town, so on our way back from picking the up we thought we would pop in.“

Alex giggles as he tries to squirm out of John’s grasp before adding “We didn’t know we’d find you balls deep with some gerbils.”

It was Lafayette’s turn to blush as Peggy smothered her laughter. A few gerbils fell off of a counter, landing on the floor with a desolate clunk.

Peggy sighed again as she once again looked around her apartment. Looks like her already long day was going to be even longer.


Characters:  Cas, Reader, Dean

Summary:  Cas asks the reader a question, he’s a little embarrased.  This is for the Cas One Week Writer’s Challenge and the prompt is “Not a typical Sunday.”

Word Count: 701

Warnings:  None

Originally posted by shizamary

“(Y/N), are you awake?”

“Hmph.”  You are cocooned in the covers, only your nose and eyes exposed.   The angel must take this inaudible mumbling for a yes, because he enters the room and sits on the bed.

“I need to ask you a question, but I find it embarrassing.”  

Groaning, you burrow further down in to the covers.  It was way too early for embarrassing questions.

“Cas, what time is it?”

“Six a.m.”

“Jesus, Cas.  Can this wait?”

“No, I wanted to ask before Sam and Dean are awake.  I sense they would find this humorous and make fun of me.”

Interest piqued, you roll over to face the angel.  “Is it a sex question?” Please don’t be a sex question, you think to yourself.

Cas looks shy, bashful. Dear god, it’s a sex question.

“Can you teach me to ride a bicycle?”

A bike?  You bite down on your lip to keep from laughing because Cas just looks so fucking earnest.  

“Yes,” you reply, “I can teach you.”

The angel’s face lights up with a beautiful, lopsided smile.


After searching the bunker garage, you find an old bike.  It’s far from perfect, but after greasing the chain and raising the seat, it’s good to guy.

Wheeling the bike out on to the road, you are hit by the absurdity of the situation.  This is not your typical Sunday.  You are going to teach a freaking angel of the Lord how to ride a bike.

Cas listens intently as you explain the basics, how to pedal, how to use the hand brake.  

“Okay, Cas, hop on. I’m going to run alongside you and hold the seat, to help you keep balance.  It will seem counterintuitive, but the faster you go, the better balance you’ll have.”

Cas nods and straddles the bike, one foot on the ground, one on the pedal.  

Grabbing the handle bar and gripping the seat, you help him balance while he puts his other foot on the pedal.  “Okay, start pedaling!”

Your run behind the angel, holding him upright while he wobbles back and forth across the pavement. “Try braking,” you instruct.  Cas grips the brake, slows to a stop.

“Did I do it correctly?” He anxiously awaits your approval.

“Yeah, you’re doing great, let’s try that again.”

After a few more practice runs, you decide it’s time to let Cas ride on his own.  Without telling him, you let go and watch him careen down the road.  Idly you wonder if they make adult size training wheels.

You’d think an angel would have a better sense of balance, what with all the flying.  But no, not Cas.  He pitches to the right, overcorrects and flies to the left, straight off the road and into a ditch.  

“OOMPH!”  You hear a thud and Cas disappears completely.  Just behind you someone is laughing.  

“Dean!  Stop!”  You turn and face the hunter.  

“I’m so sorry,” he gasps between bursts of laughter.  He’s doubled over with his hands on his thighs.  “It’s just, I couldn’t find you two, and I came out here and…Cas…off the road!” He doubles over again, his shoulders heaving.

You punch Dean in the arm before running to check on Cas.  He’s pulled himself out of the ditch.  His trench coat is covered in dirt and there are bits of leaves and twigs in his hair.  He sees Dean and his cheeks redden.  Poor thing, he’s embarrassed.

Dean recovers and joins the two of you.  You are grateful when Dean says, “Come on, Cas.  Get back on.  Everyone biffs it at least once when they learn to ride.”

Dean takes over, instructing Cas, running alongside him, encouraging him.  It strikes you that Dean has done this before.  He’s probably the one who taught Sam to ride bike.

Dean lets go, and this time Cas is steady.  He rides straight and true, manages to turn and ride back to you and Dean all on his own.

You and Dean hoot and holler and cheer for your angel.  He looks exhilarated and so very proud of himself.

This may not be a typical Sunday, but it’s one of the best Sundays you can remember in a long while.

Tags:  @sis-tafics @deanwinchester-af

Choose Part 2

“Hayes uh I.. can I have time to think about it?” I blurt out.

“Oh ya” he mutters looks hurt before walking away.

Ugh, what was I supposed to do now. I couldn’t hurt Hayes but at the same time was it worth being with someone I didn’t like.

I groaned to myself walking down the trail nearing the woods. Just then a figure stepped out scaring the living crap out of me. I yelped and almost made a run for it when Nash stepped out.

He doubled over laughing and I ran over to him punching him in the shoulder.

“Hey..” he pouted rubbing his shoulder.

“You deserve it… you …jerk! I can’t believe you did that I could have died.” I mutter placing a hand above my heart.

“You weren’t going to die you drama queen” he said chuckling.

“Drama queen? Oh you better run!” I told him before running after him. He grinned and bolted. He was up the small hill when he stopped causing me to tumble into him causing us to both fall.

We both rolled over the hill wrapped up together till we came to the bottom of it. We both lay panting him on top of me and me at the bottom. It was an intense moment, his eyes were locked on mine and I couldn’t seem to tear them away.

In a few minutes he spoke up “God you’re so beautiful (Y/N)” he muttered before leaning in and kissing me.

I gasped still in a shock before I kissed him back. The kiss was soft but gentle. It was kind of shy and he was kissing me so tenderly. He must have known it was my first kiss.

I hastily pulled back “Shit.. I cant do this.. Hayes he told me he liked me and god I can’t hurt him like this” I rambled on.

His eyes turned cold as he looked at me coldly.

“We have this intent moment and you’re still thinking about him? God (Y/N) could have told me you didn’t like me before we kissed” he muttered before quickly standing up and walking away.

Oh no, today is just not my day.