It makes me so sad when straight, non-feminist women tell me about their relationships. Yesterday one married coworker, while we were discussing getting together for a night out just us women, kept saying how her husband had to go with us even if he wasn’t there the whole time because he doesn’t let her go out at night by herself. He doesn’t LET her. There was no anger, no hint at how unfair that is, nothing odd about him making rules for her. She’s just 24.
Another coworker has talked about how she only wears thongs because her boyfriend of 5 years pokes fun at her for wearing any other kind of underwear, how he gets sooo jealous because she wanted to pay a personal trainer at the gym (almost all of them are men) because according to him those guys just want to hit on women. And she just perceives this as him being funny, quirky, insecure. He poked fun at her to the point that she’s modified something harmless because of it and now can’t wear regular panties even though he’s not going to see them. She’s also 24.
One time she off-handedly mentioned how she would like to be single (when another coworker mentioned how badly she wants a boyfriend). But still she always says he’s so wonderful? If you’re with someone who is so wonderful and you’re in a happy relationship, why would you want to be single? When I was with my last bf and things were good (and he didn’t try to control any of my behavior) I never thought how nice it would be to be single? I only started thinking that when his addiction got worse.
They can’t point out that it’s this unfair restriction of their freedom that bothers them. They don’t see it for what it is. It’s just the status quo and they accept it because they don’t think there’s any other option.