The words that we hear are doctor John, confessing. As a doctor, he had bad days. People died.
I think John is NOT OK with this. I’m a doctor, doctors help people live, it’s what doctors DO. (I think this is John’s Poetry, not Truth).
So in John’s mind, perhaps, on all those bad days- when people in doctor John’s care died- they might as well have been murdered. He’s a killer, a serial killer. People trusted him, they came to him with hope… And they died.
The line connecting Culverton Smith and John Hamish Watson… Seeing it now.
One more note on violent John-Hamish.
In TLD, John (imagines himself) beating Sherlock violently in the morgue. I think this is soldier (straight) John, and this is his grim idea of an escalation of that street fight in ASiB. Sherlock asked for it (by nearly killing himself with drugs) and John “lets loose”.
In TFP, Euros (representing John’s hidden queer self, Hamish) attacks Sherlock violently in her cell. I think we’re still in John’s mind… And I think this is his grim idea of what would happen if he allowed Hamish out of the closet. He fears his desires are monstrous and uncontrollable.
Hamish has been locked in isolation for decades, that’s torture. Enter Unicorn metaphor: Unicorns were rare beasts, and people told many exotic and conflicting stories about them. They were “other”; they were dangerous monsters.
One story: The only way to tame a Unicorn was for a virgin (Sherlock) to lure him out of hiding, and take his head in her lap. Then the very touch of the Unicorn’s horn would heal wounds and bring life back to the sick and ailing.
(Um… Monster, virgin’s lap, magic horn.. I’m not making this up…! Link below why I think John-Hamish is a Unicorn).
After S4, I think we’re all sick and ailing. We need Unicorn Hamish to bring us back to life! 🦄💛
An experiment with pattern making! I got an idea and figured I’d start with two of my favorites. Have a few different ideas for these (and other patterns I want to make!), but for now I have them available as various phone cases on RedBubble, if that strikes your fancy.