dork-city

Ichi is also hiding the fact that he is cat noir! 

anonymous asked:

Can we have some Arkham Knight Dork Squad?

Sure thing, Anon! But since Jervis, on this blog, is BTAS Jervis and doesn’t appear in Arkham Knight (except in the creepiest DLC I’ve ever seen), I keep my usual Jervis. I’ll try to give him a more tired and sinister personality for this fic. I hope you enjoy what you read <3

It all had started after Robin’s death. The clown, according to the rumors going around in town, had beaten the poor kid to death with a crowbar, showing no mercy as the child begged for his mentor, his savior, to finally arrive and save him. What happened after that was a blur, Joker being too unstable to even remember what he had done next but one thing was for sure: when Batman had finally arrived, it was too late. The kid was dead and for the first time since he had first appeared on the rooftops of Gotham City, Batman had been seen crying. 

After the Arkham Asylum incident, there was still hope that the child was alive. But when Arkham City had been created, when the rogues had started seeing the caped cruisader again, it had become rather obvious that something had changed. No more mercy, no more sympathy. The dark figure who used to be some sort of a father for them all, someone they despised, yet respected, someone who genuinely cared for them all the while being strict when needed, had changed for the worst. He had started becoming more violent and his search for Crane had turned from genuine concern into a quest for vengeance so quickly that Eddie and Jervis had both agreed on the fact that Jonathan needed to be moved somewhere else, somewhere where he’d be safe from a man who would kill him if given a chance to do so.

Hush wasn’t too happy with that idea of course: Crane was way too weak to be moved away from the improvised hospital they had created for him in an old warehouse and the thought of losing his old professor was frankly unbearable to the former surgeon. 

It was only when Batman had bashed someone’s skull with a baseball bat that even Thomas had started to fear for his own life as well as his mentor’s. He had helped the dork squad to move away and the Music Meister had provided them with food, water and all the medical stuff they would need. He had even recorded himself singing a special tune to keep Jonathan asleep, in a near comatose state, the time for things to calm down a little. 

And here they were now, alone in a small boat, alone and terrified, three madmen waiting for the Knight of Death to find them. What would they do if such a thing was to happen?

Jonathan was running a fever and could often be heard coughing and whimpering as he shivered and struggled to remain alive. Jervis slept with him, stayed with him every day, every night, would hug him and talk to him although the man was too far gone in the arms of Morpheus to even hear him at all.

And Eddie?

Eddie wasn’t doing well.

Not at all.

His last encounter with the bat had resulted into a beating like one even his dad had never made him endure. He felt weak. Vulnerable. Pathetic.

Betrayed.

Jack was gone for good.

Harvey was gone for good.

Joker was dying.

Two Face was in charge.

Music Meister had fled to France.

Oh, he had offered to take his brother with him of course. He had even suggested stealing a plane in order to take the entire squad (and Hush) with him.

Problem was, Jonathan needed to rest. Being placed in a plane would do no good to him and besides, Jervis wasn’t sure he’d be able not to go full Wonderland mode without his medication at hand’s reach and the last thing he wanted was to hurt Meister’s mother. The old lady seemed so nice, so adorable, called Eddie her ‘second son’… 

Edward wanted his mom.

Edward wanted his brother.

Edward wanted Jon to wake up.

He  wanted Jon to wake up and tell him he had a plan, something brillant, something terrifying!

He wanted Batman to tell him he could be saved.

Please, please, please…

Harvey… 

Come back…

Hiding his face in his hands, the Riddler started sobbing loudly, too tired and too heavily damaged on a mental level to even pay attention to the fact that Jervis was entering the room, a warm cup of tea in his hand. He had made it for himself and was about to offer one to Eddie but upon seeing his friend, his little brother in such a bad shape, he carefully placed the cup of tea in front of him and rubbed his back gently before playing with his hair.

“Shhh… Shh… It’ll be okay.. Edward…”

Edward looked at him, trying his best not to snap. 

Instead of what, he broke down totally and hugged Jervis, clinging to the smaller man like his life depended on it. He needed affection, validation, he needed to be loved, praised. 

He could always… 

Could always…

Without thinking about it, he kissed the Mad Hatter and pulled away instantly, horrified at his own lack of self control. 

Had he just…

“… I…”, Jervis coughed awkwardly “… Eddie, you don’t need to do that.

-I… I’m sorry… I’m sorry… I…”

He paused for a second, then decided against telling Jervis just how desperate he was for attention, having even considered the idea of going to a parking lot or in the streets and ask to be fucked by whoever found him attractive enough for that. 

Not quite knowing what to answer, Jervis took his hand and kissed the back of it like a true gentleman. 

“… You’re worth being praised and loved, Edward. Please.. Don’t sell yourself like a prostitute…”

Edward was about to break down again when he heard a loud groan coming from the other room. Both men exchanged a quick glance before rushing to Jonathan’s room. 

Sitting on his bed, half blind, sore and seriously injured, the Scarecrow was glaring at them, rage obvious in the way he clenched his fists and hissed out like a feral feline.

“… What did I miss?”

Edward snickered in between two sobs.

“… Hell. But don’t worry, you woke up just in time for the Apocalypse.”

Mammy Watkins.

I am an avid Golden Girls Fan. I have seen every episode, every season, and also own them all on DVD. There was a time when I lived to go home and curl up in my bed and crank on the DVDs and watch them repeatedly. 

I try and explain the hilarity of these episodes all the time to people, or throw out quotes that make me cackle out loud in the dark by myself, and they look at me like a crazy person. 

In particular, when I can’t back them up with a youtube video. 

In this case, I am trying to find an episode from season six called wham, bam, thank you mammy, where Mammy Watkins goes, Oh no Blanche, I mean I LOVED Yo’ Father. All sassy like. Like a mammy would. 

Is it possible for someone to make a comprehensive video collection of all of my favorite moments? I can make a list. I would do it but I don’t be editing videos and all of that shit, I just don’t have the mind for it. 

Also, I still haven’t found a gif of Nene saying “evil fat lady”.