dork problem

descent into rarepair hell
  • me: wow, I sure do love [story]! so many awesome characters and themes, the writing's great, and there's even some really cool fanfic -
  • brain: ship the thing.
  • me: um?
  • brain: you see these two idiots?
  • me: yes?
  • brain: that's the thing. we ship it now.
  • me: but -
  • brain: ship it.
  • me: but there is exactly ONE FIC for this pairing EVER -
  • brain: ship it.
  • me: - it's got zero chance of becoming canon -
  • brain: ship it.
  • me: - they hardly even interact, I don't know why you'd consider investing in -
  • brain: SHIP. IT.
  • me: ...
  • me: I hate you, myself, and everything we stand for.
  • brain: shhh. headcanons.
youtube

Tom Hiddleston & Chris Hemsworth in Chinese Q&A

Awwww look at the giggling cuties!

P.S. This conversation is amazing!

Tom : Dr. Strange, two sorcerers… going at it.
Chris : … I would not want to see that combinaison.

Originally posted by hiddlesleetm

He was like 90% joking.
  • Me: why do you make fun of my obsession with Yuri on Ice? It's not new that I'm into fandoms. Hell I met YOU through my last big fandom obsession you hypocrite
  • Husband: Exactly! The last time you were this obsessed with a show you ended up with a husband! I have concerns!
  • Me: ...
  • Me: I'm not going to cheat on you because of Yuri on Ice you absolute dork
  • Husband: *looks sheepish*...I know that...
some much needed music au’s

• you’re the first chair first violin and i’m the first chair second violin and you need to stop insulting my section au

• i’m the biggest orch dork and you’re the biggest band nerd au

• you play classical piano and i play jazz piano and you need to take the stick out of your pretentious ass au

• i’m a soprano and you’re a tenor and no you’re the bigger diva au

• you’re my niece’s piano teacher and i have to pick her up from her lessons and hey you’re kind of cute au

• you told me my technique sucks and i threw your reed across the room au

• you saved my instrument from falling and now i owe you my life au

• you’re my accompanist and you’re just going too damn slow au 

• i’m the second chair cellist and you’re the first chair violist and all we do is make snarky comments behind our conductor’s back au

• we both take from the same teacher and they told both of us that we were the best student au

• we’re the romantic leads in a musical and our director says our kiss scene sucks want to practice after class sometime? au

• i just really needed to use this practice room and i come in and you’re playing your instrument naked oh my god why au

• you’re a math teacher and i’m the choir teacher and you keep telling your students that my class is useless so you will sit here and listen to every piece and movement i can find until you admit that you were wrong au

• i’m an alto and you’re a bass and we’re in a quartet together but i told our soprano she was flat and you had to pull her off of me au

• i’m a child prodigy and you’re just started a few years ago but you’re already competing for my chair placement au

No joke, we talked about naming the twins Law and Order
— 

Jensen Ackles at VegasCon 2017 (J2 breakfast panel)

OMG, Justice, Law and Order……………………… 😂😅😂😅😂😅

Originally posted by stayclassysupernatural

Closet witch things
  • <p> <b><p></b> <b>Person:</b> why so many candles all of a sudden?<p/><b>Me:</b> smells gurd 👌<p/><b>Person:</b> why r u putting those spices in a cup of milk?<p/><b>Me:</b> I saw a recipe on tumblr and people said it was good, m8<p/><b>Person:</b> why u spend $20 on plants? Most girls your age spend it on clothes and makeup<p/><b>Me:</b> I'm special. I like plants. Oxygen. Health. I don't go out so I bring out in.<p/><b>Person:</b> Why do you collect these weird things?<p/><b>Me:</b> Raisin Bran<p/><b>Person:</b> The cereal?<p/><b>Me:</b> *nods importantly*<p/><b>Person:</b> Wh-<p/><b>Me:</b> REASONS. SCENTS, FLAVORS, AND OBSCURE HOBBIES<p/><b>Person:</b> I-I was going to ask why you always carry that notebook titled 'Evils Plans and Stuff'..<p/><b>Me:</b> Oh that, yeah. I'm a witch and this is my grimoire. Fitting isn't it?<p/></p><p/></p>

Some asshole (lotor probably): “You’re beautiful <3. what are you mixed with?”

Lance: “10 percent luck, 20 percent skill, 15 percent concentrated power of will, 5 percent pleasure, 50 percent pain
And a 100 percent reason to remember the name”

(Real talk to why do people assume you gotta be mixed if you’re cute.)

Hashirama’s biggest gamble

Pairing: MadaTobi

Word count: 1971

Warnings: none

also on ao3

Just an idea I got the other day. I didn’t expect to write something that long out of it honestly… It’s kinda idiotic too. :D Hashirama has no sense of self-preservation.

Hashirama has gambling problems. That much Madara knows. When Hashirama bets a dinner with Tobirama in poker game, the Uchiha finds it too good to refuse. The odds are in his favour. The image of Tobirama fuming upon the discovery he’s been made a subject of a bet by his own brother is something far too tempting. And if he happened to win, he wouldn’t have to ask the Senju out himself. Fool-proof plan, really.


Madara was doing his best to fight the Cheshire cat grin that threatened to creep upon his lips. He got diamonds nine and eight in his hand, pretty nice start. Hashirama and he were the last ones to stay behind the poker table and Madara was doing his best to make his best friend lose even his pants. Hashirama didn’t have many chips left anyway.

True, it was but a charity party their company held so the amount of won money would go to the local hospital and some environmental organisation but that wasn’t the point. The point was to win over Hashirama. A feat that honestly wasn’t that hard. Despite Hashirama’s terrible luck the man was unable to stop when he should have. A little gambling problem maybe… But who was Madara to stop him when his loss wouldn’t do any harm.


Hashirama looked at his cards and called. First three cards were dealt. The flop was ten of spades, Jack of diamonds and Queen of hearts. Hashirama raised his bet, expression carefully guarded. Madara knew just from the miniscule twitch of his eyebrow that he had to have some good cards. But he wasn’t standing that bad himself, was he? He already had straight in his hand. ‘Raise.’ He put several more chips onto the pile.

The Senju was pondering for a while before he nodded resolutely. ‘I’m all in.’ He looked Madara straight in the eye. ‘Is he hoping for a full-house? Or is he just bluffing?’ Madara assessed. Maybe he was going to lose this round after all. But he could humour his friend anyway. ‘Alright, call.’ He decided and smirked at Hashirama. The turn was dealt and it revealed a ten of diamonds. ‘Pity I’m already all in, I’d bet something more.’ Hashirama laughed. He had to be so sure of his victory.


‘What about this. You go all in as well and I’ll bet on top of that… Umm… Oh, I know! A dinner with my charming brother.’ Hashirama offered with a scorching bright grin. ‘You mean that serious? Where’s the win in having to sit through a dinner with your ass of a brother?’ Madara scoffed. Alright, it probably wouldn’t be such a pain considering he may or may not have a slight crush on the mentioned silver-haired Senju but he wouldn’t admit that any time soon.

‘Awww come ooon, Madara! You’re no fun! And he can be a really good company.’ Hashirama on the other side of the table pouted like a dejected puppy. ‘Or a really good-looking company at least.’ He added in reaction to Madara’s dry snort. The Uchiha considered the offer again. It wasn’t very likely he would win anyway and the game was already tiring him. He could humour his best friend just this once, although he might regret it later as Hashirama wouldn’t shut up about it for ages.

‘Fine. Just for the hell of Tobirama slowly killing you once he finds out you lost him in a bet.’ Madara finally agreed and pushed all his chips into the bank. His heart leapt up when river was dealt and the seven of diamonds appeared on the table. Gods, he had straight flush Jack-high. Poor Hashirama. Even if he had a full-house he couldn’t win this round. Which meant… He had a date with one Senju Tobirama.


The wail of despair and disappointment Hashirama released when they revealed the cards in their hands could only be described as feral. Madara would almost pity him if he wasn’t so smug about the turn-over of the game. It seemed fortune was with him. That date was meant to be his.

Technically, he was trying to gather his courage and ask Tobirama out himself for quite some time. Izuna was having a ball every time Madara resolved he’d do it and then backed out like a coward. Now he had quite a solid excuse for the date without actually having to ask for it. Splendid. He should play poker with Hashirama more often.


While the older Senju retreated to sulk somewhere (and most likely hide from the inevitable storm of Tobirama’s rage that was going to be unleashed upon his dumb head once the white-haired Senju found out about the bet) Madara decided a glass of wine wouldn’t hurt before he would approach Tobirama to inform him of his claim.

Three glasses later his inner boundaries were almost smashed by the amount of consumed alcohol and Madara set out to find his Senju. ‘Wait, mine Senju? Well… Soon enough.’ He chuckled to himself and scanned the crowd. Tobirama was standing near the roulette table, watching the game but still slightly aside from the main crowd. Madara exhaled sharply and made his way towards him.


‘Hey, Senju. Seems like we have a date tomorrow. I’ll pick you up at seven. Dress nicely.’ Madara stopped in front of Tobirama and spilled the beans immediately before his instincts had time to kick in and make him flee as they always did. Tobirama stared at him disbelievingly for a few seconds before he spoke. ‘What the fuck Uchiha, have you consumed too much wine? Or did someone slip LSD into your glass?’ The Senju inquired, his left brow raised.

‘Maybe I had a few glasses but that’s beside the point. I’m perfectly fine. Hashirama bet you in poker and lost.’ Madara informed casually, watching with glee how Tobirama’s face morphed from incredulous to fuming in approximately half a second. ‘He did WHAT?!’ The Senju’s voice dropped a few pitches lower in a furious growl, gaining the pair a quite a few curious glances.

‘As I said. He made me to go all in and bet a dinner with you against it. Any further questions direct to your fool of a brother, but my demands stay still. I have witnesses for the claim after all.’ Madara shrugged nonchalantly, smirk playing on his lips. Tobirama forced his eyes shut and pinched the bridge of his nose. From the firm set of his jaws Madara knew the Senju was supressing an urge to yell.


‘Could you perhaps excuse me for a moment? I just have a murder to commit.’ Tobirama said with so much ice in his voice Madara almost shuddered. Almost. Another part of his mind numbed by alcohol found it incredibly sexy for some reason. ‘Can I watch?’ The Uchiha asked with almost childish anticipation. The image of Tobirama trying to get his rightful revenge on Hashirama was far too tempting to be missed.

‘Will you help me with the body?’ Tobirama inquired casually, as if they weren’t planning a homicide in the middle of the crowd. ‘Will you make out with me if I do?’ Madara’s alcohol-induced self-confidence blurted out. He didn’t even have the decency to blush. ‘What the…?’ Tobirama stared blankly before his eyebrows drew together in a thoughtful expression. Madara wasn’t dead on spot. The Senju was seriously considering it.

‘Maybe. Depends on how effective partner in crime you turn out to be.’ Tobirama finally nodded. Madara was, quite frankly, beside himself. ‘Alright, I’m on board then. I assure you won’t regret that, Senju…’ He grinned wolfishly. ‘Mmm. Impress me, Uchiha.’ Tobirama matched the grin. ‘Let’s go find my dear brother.’ And with that he took Madara’s hand and dragged him into the crowd.


₪₪₪


It was a big gamble Hashirama pulled against Madara. He was so sure he would win! Hashirama knew he had to pull an ace out of his sleeve to make Madara go all in though. The man didn’t have the adventurous spirit for gambling. And if his intuition and the signs he read from observing his best friend were right, Madara was into his younger brother for ages. Honestly, Hashirama was very much disappointed in Madara he hasn’t gathered his courage to ask Tobirama out yet.

He, in fact, was pretty sure Tobirama reciprocated the attraction and was just waiting for Madara to stick his head out of the sand and make the first move. Tobirama was stupidly proud in this regard. So even if he lost by some miracle, neither of the sides involved would be too mad about the outcome. No big deal, was it?


As it was, luck was with Madara that evening because Hashirama really didn’t anticipate the Uchiha would get straight flush against his full-house. Seriously, how high the odds were? About 2 %? Unbelievable. Once Madara sauntered away to get himself some wine, Hashirama made himself scarce to escape the wrath of Tobirama upon finding he was made a subject of the bet and lost by his own loving brother.


He was watching the conversation between Tobirama and Madara from his hiding spot and immediately winced when he saw Tobirama’s face twisted in rage. Luckily for him, Hashirama had years and years of practice of hiding his sorry ass from his fuming relatives or friends, be it his brother, his best friend or in the worst cases, his beloved wife Mito. He just had to stay where he was long enough for Tobirama to get over his anger fit. That would only take ten years or so.

Tobirama was searching like a hound for quite a while, dragging humoured Madara in his tow by hand – and how interesting that was! - yet his pursuit was unsuccessful. After a good half an hour the Uchiha lost his patience and with an eye-roll pulled Tobirama towards the tables with refreshments and possibly to regroup and forge a battle plan. Hashirama exhaled in relief and waited another five minutes before he slipped from his hiding spot.

He felt tired and so he decided he would gather his things and leave the party in favour of bed. He could as well get a nice nap before Tobirama stormed his house in the morning and demanded his blood. He went to the door leading to the hallway and towards the offices. Opening the door into the office he shared with Madara, Hashirama fumbled with the switch to turn the lights on.


He certainly didn’t anticipate the scene that the light flickering on presented to him. More specifically, Tobirama on the table with his shirt half unbuttoned, Madara standing between his sprawled legs, both of them flushed and lips swollen and wearing expressions of shock. ‘Oh. Hey there.’ Hashirama managed to wave his fingers with false-cheerful grin before he leapt for his coat and ran out of the office.

‘Hashiramaaaaa! Come back you idiot, I’m so going to drown you in the fish tank you keep in the office…’ Tobirama’s furious voice thundering behind him made him run for his dear life but he knew that Tobirama was faster. He didn’t stand a chance in this race. Hashirama mentally sent prayers to all gods who were listening and wished his wife Mito not to mourn his heroic death too much when the salvation in the form of Madara came.


‘Forget about the moron, we will deal with him later. We had far more interesting business going on. I’m not done with you yet.’ The Uchiha caught Tobirama’s hand and dragged him back into the office. Needless to say, he didn’t have to use much force, Tobirama went quite willingly. Hashirama shuddered at the ideas how the two could violate the poor table. The office would never be the same for him. Maybe he should get his own now.

A loud moan from the office made him gag and he quickly interrupted his musings in favour of retreating as far as possible. He would definitely get his own office now. Hashirama knew for sure that his stunt was still going to be avenged yet the outcome still felt like a victory. He could now say that at least one of gambles didn’t end up a complete disaster. Mito would be so proud of him.