10 Alternative Titles for The Picture of Dorian Gray:

• 101 Times Lord Henry Should Have Shut His Cynical Whore Mouth
• I Kissed a Boy, and More Embarrassingly, My Own Portrait, and I Liked It
• I’m a Murderer, but Everything is Perspective
• Although I’m a Complete Wanker, I Am Infact a Victim of Suggestion Under the Influence of Another Complete Wanker
• Narcissism and Consequences
• If You’re Not Young and Pretty You May as Well Just Die
• Personalities Don’t Seem So Ugly When Surrounded With Beautiful Things
• Selling Your Soul for a Picture Probably Isn’t Worth It
• Being Philosophical and Being Intelligent are Not Always the Same Things
• It’s Okay to be Gay As Long As You Get Rid of the Body

Oscar Wilde:

- a well-known gay

- popularised the aesthetic movement

- wrote a whole book about how it was dumb to get a life-size portrait of yourself … then got a life-size portrait of himself

- went bankrupt bc he put too much effort into a magazine about himself that noone bought

- spent all his money on decorating his college room

- socialist anarchist concerned with wealth gap

- cried once bc he would never be as beautiful as his plates




For all the sinners: Oscar Wilde quotes and baroque churches

“Sin is a thing that writes itself across a man’s face. It cannot be concealed. People talk sometimes of secret vices, there are no such things. If a wretched man has a vice, it shows itself in the lines of his mouth, the droop of his eyelids, the moulding of his hands even.”
― Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray

  • What she says: I'm fine.
  • What she means: In the first chapter of The Picture of Dorian Gray (1891), Henry says that yes, he is an immoral influence, because all influence is immoral as it is inauthentic and unnatural. If Dorian as he becomes may be said to be a product of the things Henry has said, then Dorian is inherently evil by Henry's own definition regardless of whatever else he does. In the first chapter Henry also says that he "likes persons without principles better than anything else in the world." Since Dorian has no principles, Henry loves him, and it thus follows that Henry loves evil. He makes no claims to the contrary, in fact he repeatedly makes references to his lack of morals. But that's not quite true-- never once in the entire book does Henry do anything actively harmful, he only stands on the sidelines and offers encouragement. It's not clear that he even comprehends the extent to which Dorian is a true monster. He pretends at being amoral and immoral but doesn't have it in him to do the things that Dorian has nerve to do. He is a pretender, and man acting a part not written for him and thus, by his own logic, immoral. But if he is immoral, then he is not pretending at being immoral. If he is not pretending at something, then he is not immoral. The moral of The Picture of Dorian Gray is that Edgelords (TM) are as evil as they say they are while at the same time being sinless by virtue of having sinned. The secondary moral is that Lord Henry Wotton is a pretentious idiot.