I'm so upset, I saw the quality version promo of the Paley TVD video and the whole Stefan and Elena bit is making me angry? I need meta!!!!! I don't like how it shows Elena and Damon letting each other go and then "Stefan and Elena being drawn together" Am I the only one who believes this is a crock of shit?
Let me start out by saying that promos are always misleading. Almost always, there is a twist to what you see or it’s even the complete opposite. They’re created to stir up a reaction from all sides of the fandom—from both Delena and Stelena shippers.
As far as Stelena is concerned, I’m not the least bit worried. :) I don’t think it shows Damon and Elena letting each other go - quite the opposite, actually. There’s a lot of talk about letting each other go, a lot of determination to let the other go, but have I seen any actual distance being put between them? No. If anything, the break up is only a testimony of how much they love each other and how utterly incapable they are of distancing themselves. Damon and Elena aren’t over. This isn’t where they let each other go. This is where they rebuild themselves.
Love isn’t the problem here. The foundation their relationship has been built on, however, is. Damon and Elena have been in survival mode for the last three years (specifically Elena), and honestly? I’m not so sure either one of them knows how to have a functioning romantic relationship, at least not one that’s deemed healthy by our standards. Neither of them have ever had a 100% healthy relationship (Matt was healthy, but their relationship was imbalanced.) Both of them are fighting with their definitions of love and who they are as individuals, and it’s reasonable to think that they can’t do that while continuing the relationship they previously shared. Because, contrary to popular belief, there relationship was toxic, to some degree (just as Stelena can be deemed toxic, as well as Klaroline and Forwood and hell, every relationship on the show? The writers have just been more vocal about the problematic aspects about DE as of late, and that seems like a good thing to me.) They have all the tools they need to build a good, healthy relationship, (first and foremost, they’re friends, friends who share trust and love and loyalty and belief in one another—and that’s instrumental to a relationship) but they’ve gotten a little lost along the way, mostly because they need and love each other too much to accurately measure the situation (until now.)
She makes a fascinating point:
When Damon and Elena entered their relationship their metaphorical bone was whole, then sometime around 5x09 it broke.
And it healed incorrectly.
The way they handled the situation, Elena defending Damon and Damon pushing Elena away, was equivalent to not splinting and casting the break.
When a break heals improperly it can’t function properly, a confident stride is now a painful limp and a strong arm is misshapen and weak.(taken from her meta.)
This season began with Elena determined to have a normal college experience, and Damon even more determined to give it to her. She’s been very passive this season, and the moment with Damon in 5x16 where she states how much control he has over her is one of the most vocal scenes she’s had. Elena’s been adamant about college, about normal life, and in a lot of ways, she’s completely fucked over. Bonnie dies (or, more accurately, she finds out that Bonnie died three months ago, and she had no idea), Stefan was trapped in a safe beyond their reach, and Damon killed Sara. She’s been hit with catastrophe after catastrophe and it’s no wonder that she’s begun to accept it: this is her life, and it’s about time she’s accepted it (or there will be consequences.)
And Damon knows that.
He knows that she is defending him, that she’ll find anyone else to blame if it means leaving him unscathed, because she does need him. She still wants all those things, still wants a normal boyfriend and a normal college experience, and, starting with Katherine, is beginning to see how out of the realm of possibility that is for her. She wants normality, and she wants Damon—and where is the compromise?
Damon and Elena aren’t normal. Elena isn’t normal. She exists in grey areas and co-dependency, and that’s very much where Delena has been this season. They need each other, they can’t stop loving each other, and for the sake of being normal, they’ve lost that element of truth. Elena defends Damon, Damon pushes her away, and they don’t stop to repair the damage. They don’t even acknowledge the damage.
5x16 was one of the best scenes in Delena’s journey, and not just because of the steaminess (although that was great, too ;) ) This is the first time they’ve called each other out on their shit and admitted that the place there in isn’t okay. And this is where they fix it. This is where they grow back together and rebuild.
As soon as they admitted to the faults and ended things they were allowing for the relationship to be re-broken and re-set. They now need to let everything heal properly, this will be their challenge.
That’s what the rest of the season will be about—rebuilding. I can never say this enough: first and foremost, they’re friends. We’re going to get back to that, back to the foundation of their relationship: built on understanding and a deep rooted and unprecedented trust. Love isn’t the issue; it never has been. Damon and Elena love each other enough—they love each other so much that letting go of each other is unthinkable. And when it’s real, you can’t walk away.
They aren’t walking away from one another. Even after Elena says it’s over, she doesn’t walk—she stays, she waits, watches, but she can’t make herself walk away. And neither can he.
And as far as Stelena goes, I haven’t seen any evidence this season (or even in the Paley video) that leads me to think that they’re going to be “drawn back together.” Stefan still doesn’t get Elena. And damn me, but Elena doesn’t really get Stefan, either—she still has a horribly idealized image of him, and if anything does happen, I’m certain it’ll be reminiscing for what they had S1-2. Correct me if I’m wrong (and I could be), but Markos even states that he’s the reason they’ll be drawn together. All jokes aside, I don’t put too much stock in the whole “doppelganger destiny” plot line, simply because while I’m a mad Delena shipper and Anti-Stelena 99.9% of the time, I can recognize that there are certain elements to Stelena that were very real and make a lot of sense in the mindset Elena or Stefan existed in at any given moment. I can find them just as fascinating, in a very dark and grueling way, and at the end of the day, I’m not the least bit worried about them.
I remain perfectly confident that the rest of the season will be about Damon and Elena rebuilding their relationship (even if at the end of the season, Elena chooses to be single), and while I’m not delusional to think that the triangle won’t be revisited more than any of us can stomach, right now it isn’t what the show is about. I’m pretty sure they’re pushing Steroline, and at this point, Stefan and Elena as a couple are messy and complicated, and not at all in the realm of possibility at this point in time. Their perceptions of one another are completely off and more than once this season we’ve gotten proof of that. Hell, Katherine (as Elena) even asks Stefan if he likes Elena the way she is, and he hesitates—because he doesn’t. Unlike Damon, Stefan is content to anchor Elena to diaries and dates on top of Ferris Wheels, and while that’s certainly interesting, it isn’t good for a relationship, and it certainly doesn’t scream one to me. In the last ep, Elena hallucinates Stefan sexually assaulting her, and if I’m reading the signs correctly, this season has been about how much trust has been lost there—Stefan (admittedly, without his memories) doesn’t trust Elena, and Elena, on a subconscious level, isn’t able to trust Stefan (and hasn’t trusted him since early season 4.) Their issues have never been dealt with, and that’s becoming more and more obvious.
In short: Nails. Coffin. Sinking Ship. Titanic. Bye, bye, epic luv.
So is it a crock of shit? Probably, most likely, yes. But it’s a crock of shit that you don’t need to be worrying about, because Damon and Elena aren’t letting go of one another. If anything, they’re holding on for dear life, and how they respond to everything that’s happened this season will define them forever.
*hugs* don’t give up bby <33
This is our time.