As of Thursday I had a perfect record at the clinic… I never missed a dose or appointment and always had clean UAs. But then I missed Thursday’s dose, which was supposed to be my last, because my car had died the day before and my ride to the airport wasn’t able to stop at the clinic on the way. So I have completed methadone maintenance treatment with a perfectish record.
Thank you to my counselor and my nurse and the dispensary staff for your support. I remember when I had just found out I was pregnant and ran out of my first intake appointment because I was so scared and I didn’t want as paper trail of my using while pregnant. But they reached out to me and got me to return and got me into treatment. They provided me with resources to educate myself about methadone and taking it while pregnant. Even though it’s been difficult to go in every morning for the past 8 months I did it, and now I have my life and my soul… and a beautiful daughter.
Not gonna lie - I’m a little nervous to be off. Right now I’m visiting my family but when I go home it’s all just me. I don’t have a lot of clean time but I do have a new baby who needs me to stay clean. My boyfriend needs me to stay clean. I need me to stay clean. I hope I don’t fuck this up.