dopefiend

You don’t have to live like this anymore. This was hell in a bottle for me. It was fun at first and then all hell broke loose. I eventually was up to 30 roxies a day and the things I had to do to get them is a whole other story. If your struggling please call for some help. I know what it takes to get out and detox comfortably. Our facility is located in Florida and its painless to get in. I can setup everything for you. 954-610-7151
Www.aroadtorecoveryrehab.com

Hi! This seemed the only logical option after yet another cold turkey heroin withdrawal attempt had me awake until 11:30am after which I only slept til 3pm and woke up to a text from an old high school friend asking if I could get him a half gram of some tar…..why OF COURSE I can and I am just so selfless and caring that I will even take a chunk out and try it for you when I get home!!!
Hahaha feels so amazing to temporarily not be sick but I know I just negated all the suffering & sickness I went thru last night by getting high today….
Ohhhh the life of a drug addict is strange at best

I became familiar with Donald Goines while a Freshman in High School. I have read all of his books. Whoreson and Black Girl Lost are my favorites by him. If you aren’t familiar with Donald Goines, you should be.

At age 14, Donald Goines (pictured above) forged a birth certificate to join the military. He was introduced to heroin in the air force.

Discharged at age 15, he was a full-blown heroin addict. He returned home to Detroit and pawned his mother’s sewing machine and television to support his habit.

At 18, he became a vicious pimp. He was so brutal; he often beat his women with “hot” coat hangers that he heated up on the stove.

During a jail stint, he turned to writing, during his incarceration. He would write an essay on the life of Martin Luther King, Jr. and win an award.

When he was released, he read books by Iceberg Slim and decided to become a writer. He bought an old typewriter and typed a manuscript detailing his life, entitled “Dopefiend.” He paid his sister 10 cents a page to proofread.

Once, he forced his sister into a room and made her watch as he tied a belt around his arm and injected heroin into his vein. Afterwards, he told her, ‘I wanted you to witness that, so you’ll never be addicted like me.’ Later, when it was time for the next fix, he called another sister into the room, and repeated the same routine and gave her the same message.

He sent the manuscript to Iceberg Slim’s publisher, ‘Holloway House.’ They responded by offering him a book deal. He would receive 12 cents off of each book sold and each book would be priced at $1.90.

Goines would soon develop a writing routine, he would shoot up heroin and nod off, wakeup, and write non-stop.

Goines would author over 14 books, which are still popular, especially in the prison system. His books would go on to sell millions of copies and he became known as the ‘Godfather Of Urban Fiction.’

He relocated to Los Angeles. During his stay, he met his idol Iceberg Slim. Goines thanked him for being a major influence in his life.

Goines became homesick and moved back to Detroit.

Goines would eventually marry a woman named Shirley. She already had one daughter and she would give birth to another daughter, fathered by Goines.

One evening, they were relaxing at home and Shirley was popping popcorn in the kitchen when the doorbell rang.

She answered the door, two white men stormed in, pulled out guns and killed Donald and Shirley while the kids played nearby, they were left unharmed.

Rumors on the street indicated that a contract was taken out on Goines over a drug debt and the black underworld was not happy with his book. They considered the books too revealing and thinly based on real life characters, who didn’t want their illegal activities publicized.

The killers were never apprehended.

To this day, his books have never been out of print, making him one of the most successful African-American authors in history.

Perfectish Record

As of Thursday I had a perfect record at the clinic… I never missed a dose or appointment and always had clean UAs. But then I missed Thursday’s dose, which was supposed to be my last, because my car had died the day before and my ride to the airport wasn’t able to stop at the clinic on the way. So I have completed methadone maintenance treatment with a perfectish record.

Thank you to my counselor and my nurse and the dispensary staff for your support. I remember when I had just found out I was pregnant and ran out of my first intake appointment because I was so scared and I didn’t want as paper trail of my using while pregnant. But they reached out to me and got me to return and got me into treatment. They provided me with resources to educate myself about methadone and taking it while pregnant. Even though it’s been difficult to go in every morning for the past 8 months I did it, and now I have my life and my soul… and a beautiful daughter.

Not gonna lie - I’m a little nervous to be off. Right now I’m visiting my family but when I go home it’s all just me. I don’t have a lot of clean time but I do have a new baby who needs me to stay clean. My boyfriend needs me to stay clean. I need me to stay clean. I hope I don’t fuck this up.

I've came to the conclusion...

I am indeed a lost cause. I’ve been trying so hard to mend relationships I’ve ruined because of the havoc I’ve caused in others lives, and it isn’t good enough. I’m constantly getting fucking nagged at for everything I do, even when I’m trying to do the right thing. I don’t expect people to forgive me for what I’ve done, but at least respect the fact that I’m trying. Another thing, I’m also trying to have a normal life, since the past 6 years of my life have been a struggle between my addiction and I. But it’s so hard to do that when I’m constantly being judged on my past and having labels put on me. That’s okay though, 4 months sober and going strong.