dope turtle

theredshirtwholived  asked:

Favorite cool science story/fact?

The birth of the universe brought by the regurgitation of the World Turtle (inspiration for the pokemon mind you) started the era of space. Space was relatively boring for a long while because the World Turtle puked oh too perfectly. Everything spread in such a manner that nothing touched anything. Just empty space. The turtle realized this was fucking stupid so he went into his cesspool and mushed it around as much as he could until nebulae started to form. “This is dope as hell” the turtle thought. And then he left. He’s not part of the story anymore. Fuck that guy. Anyways, as the puke nebulae formed into stars and planets and the cast and crew of Fairly Oddparents, the stars started thinking to themselves that life was pretty boring. So they went to sleep. They’re not part of the story anymore. The planets now had no parents and no sloppy puking turtle grandparent. Thus began the era of sad planets. The planets thought to themselves “man wouldn’t it be cool if we had something to do while we wait for everybody to wake up?” It was at that point I was born. I told the planets that I was way too tiny and then they went to sleep so now I exist alone here in this universe waiting for the sun to wake up and read all the emails I’ve been sending it. 

You may ask, “Hey Neil, how are you alone if the cast and crew of Fairly Oddparents also exist in this space you’ve described?” And to that I say