doomed couples that make me feel better about my pitiful love life

46 Of The Most Beautiful Sentences In YA Literature

1. “You could rattle the stars. You could do anything, if you only dared. And deep down, you know it too, and that’s what scares you the most.”
—Sarah J. Maas, Throne of Glass

2. “Because sometimes chance and circumstance can seem like the most appalling injustice, but we just have to adapt. That’s all we can do.”
—Gavin Extence, The Universe Versus Alex Woods

3. “I can’t seem to be a pessimist long enough to overlook the possibility of things being overwhelmingly good.”
—John Corey Whaley, Where Things Come Back

4. “Books are my friends, my companions. They make me laugh and cry and find meaning in life.”
―Christopher Paolini, Eragon

5. “Because Margo knows the secret of leaving, the secret I have only just now learned; leaving feels good and pure only when you leave something important, something that mattered to you. Pulling life out by the roots. But you can’t do that until your life has grown roots.”
—John Green, Paper Towns

6. “Do not pity the dead, Harry. Pity the living, and, above all those who live without love.”
―J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

7. “I’m done with those; regrets are an excuse for people who have failed.”
—Ned Vizzini, It’s Kind of a Funny Story

8. “Becoming fearless isn’t the point. That’s impossible. It’s learning how to control your fear, and how to be free from it.”
—Veronica Roth, Divergent

9. “The moon is a loyal companion. It never leaves. It’s always there, watching, steadfast, knowing us in our light and dark moments, changing forever just as we do. Every day it’s a different version of itself. Sometimes weak and wan, sometimes strong and full of light. The moon understands what it means to be human. Uncertain. Alone. Cratered by imperfections.”
—Tahereh Mafi, Shatter Me

10. “Eleanor was right. She never looked nice. She looked like art, and art wasn’t supposed to look nice; it was supposed to make you feel something.”
—Rainbow Rowell, Eleanor & Park

11. “Don’t be afraid of death; be afraid of an unlived life. You don’t have to live forever, you just have to live.”
—Natalie Babbit, Tuck Everlasting

12. “Just because we’ve been … dealt a certain hand … it doesn’t mean that we can’t choose to rise above — to conquer the boundaries of a destiny that none of us wanted.”
—Stephenie Meyer, Twilight

13. “Some walks you have to take alone.”
—Suzanne Collins, Mockingjay

14. “That’s the thing about pain. It demands to be felt.”
—John Green, The Fault in Our Stars

15. “We believe in the wrong things. That’s what frustrates me the most. Not the lack of belief, but the belief in the wrong things. You want meaning? Well, the meanings are out there. We’re just so damn good at reading them wrong.”
—Rachel Cohn, Dash & Lily’s Book of Dares

16. “Why would you be given wings if you weren’t meant to fly?”
—Leslye Walton, The Strange and Beautiful Sorrows of Ava Lavender

17. “Live! Live the wonderful life that is in you! Let nothing be lost upon you. Be always searching for new sensations. Be afraid of nothing.”
—Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray

18. “It’s just that…I just think that some things are meant to be broken. Imperfect. Chaotic. It’s the universe’s way of providing contrast, you know? There have to be a few holes in the road. It’s how life is.”
—Sarah Dessen, The Truth About Forever

19. “The universe is bigger than anything that can fit into your mind.”
—Ava Dellaira, Love Letters to the Dead

20. “I try to think about how it all works. At school dances, I sit in the background, and I tap my toe, and I wonder how many couples will dance to ‘their song.’ In the hallways, I see the girls wearing the guys’ jackets, and I think about the idea of property. And I wonder if anyone is really happy. I hope they are. I really hope they are.”
—Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being a Wallflower

21. “Things were rough all over but it was better that way. That way, you could tell the other guy was human too.”
—S.E. Hinton, The Outsiders

22. “What if evil doesn’t really exist? What if evil is something dreamed up by man, and there is nothing to struggle against except our own limitations? The constant battle between our will, our desires, and our choices?”
—Libba Bray, Rebel Angels

23. “It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live.”
—J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone

24. “It’s like the people who believe they’ll be happy if they go and live somewhere else, but who learn it doesn’t work that way. Wherever you go, you take yourself with you. If you see what I mean.”
—Neil Gaiman, The Graveyard Book

25. “I can tell you that the end of a life is the sum of the love that was lived in it, that whatever you think you have sworn, being here at the end of Jem’s life is not what is important. It was being here for every other moment.”
—Cassandra Clare, Clockwork Princess

26. “Life, with its rules, its obligations, and its freedoms, is like a sonnet: You’re given the form, but you have to write the sonnet yourself.”
—Madeleine L’Engle, A Wrinkle In Time

27. “Maybe who we are isn’t so much about what we do, but rather what we’re capable of when we least expect it”
—Jodi Picoult, My Sister’s Keeper

28. “People never really died. They only went on to a better place, to wait a while for their loved ones to join them. And then once more they went back to the world, in the same way they had arrived the first time around.”
―V.C. Andrews, Flowers in the Attic

29. “Goodbye, I say, goodbye, as I disappear little by little into the middle of the middle of my own spectacular now.”
—Tim Tharp, The Spectacular Now

30. “But if I’m it, the last of my kind, the last page of human history, like hell I’m going to let the story end this way…Because if I am the last one, then I am humanity. And if this is humanity’s last war, then I am the battlefield.”
—Rick Yancey, The 5th Wave

31. “The words were on their way, and when they arrived, she would hold them in her hands like clouds, and she would ring them out like the rain.”
—Markus Zusak, The Book Thief

32. “Child, no one is ever ready for anything. I would never doom you to that. What sort of adventureless life would that be?”
—Alethea Kontis, Enchanted

33. “And now that you don’t have to be perfect, you can be good.”
—John Steinbeck, East of Eden

34. “Maybe some people are just meant to be in the same story.”
―Jandy Nelson, I’ll Give You the Sun

35. “If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s this: We all want everything to be okay. We don’t even wish so much for fantastic or marvelous or outstanding. We will happily settle for okay, because most of the time, okay is enough.”
—David Levithan, Every Day

36. “Doubt everything at least once. What you decide to keep, you’ll be able to be confident of. And what you decide to ditch, you will replace with what your instincts tell you is true.”
―Amy Plum, After the End

37. “Just as a river by night shines with the reflected light of the moon, so too do you shine with the light of your family, your people, and your God. So you are never far from home, never alone, wherever you go.”
—Karen Cushman, Catherine Called Birdy

38. “You spend your whole life stuck in the labyrinth, thinking about how you’ll escape it one day, and how awesome it will be, and imagining that future keeps you going, but you never do it. You just use the future to escape the present.”
—John Green, Looking for Alaska

39. “There’s no shame in fear, my father told me, what matters is how we face it.”
—George R.R. Martin, A Clash of Kings

40. “I know that the whole point—the only point—is to find the things that matter, and hold on to them, and fight for them, and refuse to let them go.”
—Lauren Oliver, Delirium

41. “We feel cold, but we don’t mind it, because we will not come to harm. And if we wrapped up against the cold, we wouldn’t feel other things, like the bright tingle of the stars, or the music of the aurora, or best of all the silky feeling of moonlight on our skin. It’s worth being cold for that.”
—Philip Pullman, The Golden Compass

42. “It’s a lot easier to be lost than found. It’s the reason we’re always searching and rarely discovered—so many locks not enough keys.”
―Sarah Dessen, Lock and Key

43. “On that cold night in January it all slipped into place for me and she became my everything and my everyone. My music, my sun, my words, my logic, my confusion, my flaw.”
—Julie Murphy, Side Effects May Vary

44. “Hope? Hope can be a powerful force. Maybe there’s no actual magic in it, but when you know what you hope for most and hold it like a light within you, you can make things happen, almost like magic.”
—Laini Taylor, Daughter of Smoke and Bone

45. “[She] had always suffered from a vague restlessness, a longing for adventure that she told herself severely was the result of reading too many novels when she was a small child.”
—Robin McKinley, The Blue Sword

46. “Youth cannot know how age thinks and feels, but old men are guilty if they forget what it was to be young.”
—J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix 

Benevolence 7

7/20 The moment so many of you having been waiting for….

Word Count: 5,579



I was walking down one of the streets in Seoul. It was pitch black outside and everything was at a dead silence. No cars on the road, no one was walking around handing out those little business cards. Usually in America I would have been scared and ran the whole way home. However, in Seoul I’ve noticed there wasn’t ever a reason to be scared at least not for me. Obviously ever country has it’s rapist, murderers and robbers but the chances of seeing one while walking the streets on a weeknight was unlikely.

The high heels of the shoes I was wearing scraped across the cracks of the street. I was currently on my way home, I was at school and decided to stay late since that was were all the sewing supplies were at. I lost track of time and now I have to rush home to my boyfriend before he freaks out. I felt a vibration on the pocket of my shirt. Dipping my fingers into the fabric, I pulled out my phone. Speak of the devil, he was calling right now.

“Are you okay? It’s really late Y/N, where are you?”, Baekhyun panicked into the phone.

“I’m fine I’m almost there just a few blocks away.”, I sighed stepping over a small gate to cross to the other side of town.

“Good, what street are you on?”, He asked letting out a breathe of relief. “Let’s stay on the phone till you get here.”

Letting out a another sigh I looked up to see which street I was on, “Wongdang-daero” I didn’t bother reading the numbers since he would know where I was at. “Fine we might as well Mr. Overprotective.”

“Hush I’m protective over you for a reason.”, He snapped playfully “How did designing go today.”

“Like it does any other day, I’m booked with plenty of work to do.”, I gave a light chuckle a sound of a car lightly hitting my ears. The sound of it got louder and louder until it was a mere 60 feet away from me.

The only problem was the car was coming right at me.

It was dark outside so I couldn’t see anyone in the car only the front of the lights my breathing started going at faster pace. I didn’t say anything to Baekhyun since there would be no point he couldn’t do anything. The car wasn’t stopping it was coming closer and closer to me. So, I did the only think I  could do in this situation, run. Turning around I started running as fast as my feet would let me. The phone was no longer pressed to my ear as my feet were running across the concrete. Who the fuck was this, why all of a sudden does someone try to run me off of the sidewalk.

“I love you too.”, I heard a light whisper on the phone it didn’t sound like Baekhyun’s voice which is why I had made the mistake I did. Lifting the phone to my ear I listened to see if anything else was said.

“I’ll see you later.”, That was Baekhyun’s voice did he not notice I stopped talking on the phone.

“What the hell are you doing?”, I panted on the phone causing my running to come to a slow pace. Unfortunately I shouldn’t have done that within a few seconds the car came to an impact with my body. 

The next thing I remember was being on the ground blood covering my hand and my cracked cell phone. I couldn’t move I was unsure of whether or not I had broken any bones since I had never broken one before in my life.

“Y/N, Y/N, Y,N what the hell just happened? Answer me damn it!”, I heard Baekhyun scream on the phone. I heard the car  door shut and footsteps began to inch closer towards me. Turning my heads towards the person who had hit me with the car, I couldn’t make out a face. I had already blacked out.


“I’m done.”

“Baby don’t start this again you aren’t going anywhere you always end up staying.”, He snapped grabbing my arm.

“NO, not this time I’m done you just made me realize how little you care about anything I want. My designing career you use that as a toy to keep me around, I wasn’t even told about this  ‘relationship’ until she had already moved in. Then you just told all of the other members that I’m basically your second option when Taeyeon isn’t around. Do you see what you’re doing, plotting all of this shit out without my consent?”

“You can’t just stop like this, we’ve been through too much together.”, He growled roughly snatching me into his chest. His breathing was at an unbelievable pace but still, I couldn’t let him sway me. At his point there honestly wasn’t a fuck for me to give.

“You, haven’t been through shit I however, have looked like a dumb ass for way too long now Baekhyun. You can’t just continue to mistreat me and expect me to still love you.”  At the last sentence his face went from angry to sad and confused. His grip on my arm loosen letting me step back a few inches.

“You don’t love me anymore?”, His voice was weak, like a child who had gotten caught for drawing on the walls while being scolded.

“What do you think the answer to that is?”, In all honesty I didn’t know the answer myself. Of course your love for someone can always fade overtime if you’re not receiving love from them but, could you completely stop loving them? If you sit down now and think about any good memories you had with them the sides of your lips wouldn’t tug up just a little?

“Oh my god.”, He whispered sobbing a little due to the fact that I was shorter than him a few of his tears fell down on my cheek. “Y/N, I’m so sorry please let’s take a vacation just you and I to patch things up. Don’t ruin our relationship ov-”, I cut up off before he could finish his sentence.. me I was the one to ruin this relationship? This relationship was doomed from the moment it had began. His intentions were made clear to me a long time ago. 

“Don’t fucking try to blame this on me.”, I hissed shoving at his chest. “You brought Taeyeon here, you got back together with her and you have been mistreating me.”

“I know I haven’t been acting the best lately but, it’s because-” he spoke before I cut him off once again. At this point I honestly think Baekhyun has mental issues or something is just fucked up in his dumb ass mind.

“You haven’t been the best lately? Are you fucking kidding me? You wanna know what you said to a couple weeks ago when I asked if you wanted to go to the fashion event with me? You told me you’d rather suck a dick then sit at that event with me. You are so insensitive, the best part is when Taeyeon happen to bring it up you were delighted to go. Once again causing us to all three end up somewhere when you know damn well I don’t like that bitch.”

“Why do you act like that towards her, she’s been nothing but nice towards you.”, He spoke in frustration.

“Of course she has because fucking with my relationship is really being nice sorry Taeyeon, let me get down on my knees for you.”, I laughed sarcastically. “Why do you even want me to stay with you? You’ve used me enough you clearly love Taeyeon more than you’ve ever loved me.”

“That’s not true Y/N, and damn well know it. I’ve always taken good care of you. How did you get that job at Paradise Kiss, because of me. How did you started making your own designs as SM’s top fashion designer, because of me.”, He snapped running out of air in his lungs. “I’ve always made sure you were happy and had the things you wanted.”

Did this son of a bitch really just try and take credit for my hard work?

“First off all, that ‘job’ you got me at SM was to run around doing whatever the fuck the actual designers told me to do. I didn’t get bumped up to top designer until I started sneaking some of my designs into some of your music videos.  That job at Paradise Kiss was given to me when he brought it up you just introduced the two of us.”, I snarled towards him. I couldn’t believe he just tried to take away from my hard work.

“What about the promise you made to your mother.”, He whispered as I was getting ready to turn around. He really tried to pull all the cards out of the deck, using my mother against me.

Turning back around to face him, I watched as more tears continued to roll down his cheeks. He looked so pitiful, was this how used to look like whenever I cried and begged him to make Taeyeon leave? Where had my self respect gone? I couldn’t stop them giggles began to fall from my mouth as I watched a confused look form on his face.

“Excuse me, sorry for that.”, I apologized trying to stop the laughter from coming out of my mouth. Once I was about to stop the giggles I spoke.

“At first, I was so mad at myself for this, I honestly would’ve stayed with you for the rest of my life because of the promise I made to my mother. Hell, it was the only reason I was staying with you.”, I chuckled looking to the ground before back into his eyes.

“But, I realized my mother wouldn’t have wanted me to be going through what she went through just to keep my promise. Although, I’m still mad at myself I won’t punish myself for it any longer. It’s funny because, if I would’ve just continued telling you to fuck off I wouldn’t have gone through any of this.”, I spoke to him. 

It was true, I was truly sorry for breaking my promise to my mother. To anyone else it wouldn’t have been a big deal it’s just the fact that she died knowing I hated her. Yet, she was always proud of the fact that I was still stronger than her, that I still wanted her to continue to get better. That was the only thing she had ever really asked of me, and I wanted it to be my dying gift to her. It’s too late now, I’ve shattered the promise I made to her now however, now that I’ve been punished for it I’m tired. I’m tired of loving him, I’m tired of being held down and mistreated. But, most of all I’m tired of feeling so disgusted with myself.

“So that’s it then?”, He asked quietly wiping the remaining tears leaving his face. “It’s over because of this small petty thing. It’s over because I told them the truth.”

“No, it’s over because it needed to be, our relationship should’ve been over the moment Taeyeon came back into the picture. I was just to stupid to bring myself to break away.”, I said before turning around walking away. 

As I was going towards the stairs I heard his footsteps behind me. I didn’t bother turning around because he didn’t say anything. He was just heading in the same direction as me but, it was still awkward. I didn’t want to feel like this the entire trip. I’m surprised he didn’t hit me with the “Let’s stay friends” bullshit.  

Hitting the corner as I made my way downstairs I heard loud screams. Were the rest of the members arguing with Taeyeon? My thoughts were answered when I heard Kai’s voice shout back at her.

“This is and always will be your fault. Do you even feel bad for what happened?”, His words snarled at her.

Rushing past me Baekhyun dashed towards the kitchen, my nosy ass wanted to know why Kai was so upset so, I followed along. As I was walking behind him I realized that Baekhyun was so wrapped up in Taeyeon. Even after what just happened he couldn’t wait to brush past me to get towards her. I know I shouldn’t feel like this since I broke up with him but, it still hurts me.

“If you weren’t such a fucking dick maybe she’d still be with you?”, I heard Taeyeon’s voice speak as we rushed into the kitchen. When I walked fully into the room there stood Taeyeon with tears rushing down her eyes and kai with his jaw clenched and fists balled up. 

I had seen this look on a man one too many times it was obvious what was about it happen, at least to anyone who saw someone being abused.

Kai was getting ready to hit Taeyeon.

I couldn’t help the gasp that escaped my mouth. Kai out of all people was not one I had expected to want to raise his hand at a woman. As much as I felt Taeyeon deserved to get the shit slapped out of her she didn’t deserve to be abused when she can’t defend herself. Has he done this before?

All eyes in the room shifted towards me, Kai’s look soften a bit when we made eye contact. I didn’t know how to react because I, didn’t know what was going on. Was Kai really getting ready to hit Taeyeon or was he just angry? Looking him up and down once more, I couldn’t deny it. He was getting ready to hit her.

“Kai, don’t you dare do that.”, I whispered harshly towards him, a guilty look flashed on his face before it was quickly covered up with a confused one. 

“Calm down Y/N, we’re just having an argument.”, He mumbled releasing his fists. He was lying, it was so obvious. His hands were trembling and his eyes darted across the room way too quickly. His chest was even still rising with anger.

“Kai you can’t be like that. Not you of all people.”, I muttered shaking my head at him as Taeyeon’s eyes looked over at me trying to understand the situation. Turning my eyes towards Baekhyun, who was already looking at me he came to understand the situation. His eyes full of rage, shifted towards Kai who was still as confused as ever.

“Get the fuck away from her.”, Baekhyun snapped through gritted teeth while charging towards Kai. I’ve never seen Baekhyun this angry before it was worse than when his bipolar ass flipped out on me in that restaurant.  I know I shouldn’t say things like that because at this point Baekhyun could really have a mental condition that I’m not aware of.

“Shut the fuck up Baekhyun.”, Kai spat towards him. “It’s not like she can’t take responsibility for her actions.”

“Stop with your rivalry with her Kai. You’re my band mate and she’s the woman I love.”, Baekhyun spoke aggressively towards him. I mean damn that didn’t hurt me at all.

“I thought that was Y/N, I guess you’d rather be with trash then treat her like a respected woman.”

“What are you doing to Taeyeon now huh?”

“You can’t treat a hoe like a woman.”

Baekhyun’s fist connected with Kai’s jaw causing his had to turn to the side. He didn’t even stumble back before giving Baekhyun a punch.

“Stop Baekhyun.”, Taeyeon tried to butt-in as I gave her the side eye. I wasn’t going to do anything to stop it, this was a battle between two grown men. Who just so happened to be arguing about women. I was honestly surprised with Baekhyun’s strength.

After a few more seconds the fight died down. Both men had each other in a head lock, Baekhyun strained his neck to whisper something in Kai’s ear. Taeyeon and I couldn’t hear what was said but, Kai visibly tensed up as they let each other go. Baekhyun rushed towards Taeyeon asking if she was okay, my gaze shifted towards Kai who watched the two with disgust.

“She loved you, you loved her. You talked about her all the damn time and I was happy for you because you weren’t crying all the time about Taeyeon anymore. I can’t believe you’d just run back to that bitch the moment she asked for you.”, Kai spat at him before walking out the backdoor that lead back to the top of the boat.

I stood there for a minute not knowing what to do, Taeyeon and Baekhyun were still in the room watching me.

“Y/N, we didn’t mea-”, Taeyeon started before I was already walking out the door. I had enough it was hard being in the same room as them. I couldn’t bring myself to speak because there was nothing left to say. Taeyeon couldn’t say anything that would change it because it was already done. I went out the same door Kai did to go after him.

Kai was outside looking at the sea mumbling curses to himself. His hands were balled into fists before he released them burying his face into his palms. I didn’t think I could see him get so mad at a person. As much as I’m angry and both Taeyeon and Baekhyun what could they have done to anger Kai this much? 

 “Kai, what the hell was that?”, I asked trying to be cautious not knowing what might set him off. His head lifted up looking towards me with an irritated look on his face.

“Just… She’s…”, He couldn’t get the sentence out because when our eyes met he looked so guilty. “Look I know what it might’ve looked like and yes we were in a pretty heated argument but still, Y/N I would never lay my hands on a woman.”

I nodded my head showing my understanding. I needed to hear him out because this was so unlike Kai and I only assumed because of the similar signs that I’ve seen previously. I didn’t realize how different the two situations were though. The man that my mom was dating was seriously messed up, he was a narcissist the smallest of things set him off. He put two dents in my mom’s car because she corrected him over a small lie. I couldn’t compare Kai to him.

“What could’ve she said to make you so mad then? Was it something personal?”, I asked keeping voice at a calm steady level.

“Y/N, I can’t tell you why but, Taeyeon is not innocent she’s not nice and sweet either but still, she could never make angry to the point where’d I want to hit her. I was balling my fists because I was waiting on Baekhyun to enter the room. I just didn’t expect you to be with him, are you two still together?”, He asked after explaining what happened.

I scrunched my nose up completely forgetting Baekhyun and I were ever together. There wasn’t enough time to pay attention to it or I just didn’t want to.

“No, I was heading back to the room while he went to the kitchen when I heard Taeyeon yelling, then I remembered you said you’d be waiting in there.”, I spoke sitting down leaning against my arms.

“Do you regret what you did?”, He asked curiously. I’m not stupid he’s trying to change the subject so he doesn’t have to talk about Taeyeon whatever she did must’ve been terrible because the rage was clear in his eyes whenever he spoke of her.

“No, I don’t even think the reality of the situation has hit me. I am mad at myself though.”, I chuckled staring at the sea the best I could from where I was sitting.

“Why? You did nothing wrong.”, Kai suddenly got defensive about the whole situation. “She’s the slut and he’s the dickhead who likes to cheat on his girlfriend.” 

The sides of my lips tugged up, I wonder what his reaction would be if I told him the whole story. He’d probably go back in to start another fight with Baekhyun, but I won’t. The whole thing was over now adding fuel to the fire would be pointless. Do I want Baekhyun to be happy, hell no. I’m just not the type to forgive and forget because, every time I see you after that I’ll get irritated.

“I’m mad for not leaving him sooner, and I kind of just ruined the entire trip. I feel like a failed because I allowed myself to be-”, I cut myself off not wanting to finish and If I said anything else I would’ve told him everything.

“You didn’t ruin anything that bitch did, don’t you ever think about yourself badly. You are not a failure because of someone else’s fuck ups. I’m just pissed he’d treat you like that after how they broke up.”

“How’d they break up?”, I asked, I knew it wasn’t on a good but it clearly wasn’t bad enough for them to get back together.

“Let’s not get into that.”, He blurted out lacing his fingers with mine. “Please let’s just have a good time the rest of the trip.”

“You know I’m going to ask about it later.”, I pointed out talking about the avoided subjects.

“I know”

I didn’t know how I felt, I was lost. How was I supposed to feel after leaving him it’s not like he was really gone anyway. He’s probably having sex with Taeyeon, I knew either way the break up wouldn’t hurt him. I just couldn’t be unhappy anymore. I’m thankful for what Kai said early but still, I was angry with myself. Not because I failed with Baekhyun but because I had failed my mom.

“I’m going back to the room, are you coming?”, I asked him causing our hands to break away from each other.

“No I’ll be down soon, goodnight.”

“Why’d you say goodnight?”, I asked him

“Because, you always fall asleep whenever you go lay down.”, He chuckled.

“Who said I was going to lay down?”, I shot back causing him to full blown laugh.

“Goodnight, Y/N.”

“Goodnight Kai.”

“Y/N?”, Yixing spoke to me as we unfolded the blankets to get underneath the blankets. Looking up to meet his gaze Yixing’s eyes were filled with concern. “Are you sure you don’t want to talk about it, Honey?”

Climbing the small set of stairs to get into the large bed, I lie down on the side closet the the other nightstand turning towards him.

“No, I’m fine it’s just crazy how fast everything has changed. I feel bad now because I’ve sort of ruined the trip for everyone.”, I chuckled while he got comfortable scooting closer next to me.

“No you didn’t Taeyeon did, none of us liked her but, Baekhyun insisted she’d come.”, He explained trying to ease the situation. “I just really wished Baekhyun would’ve treated you better.”

“Some things just aren’t meant to be I guess.”, I said trying to lighten the mood when in the truth it wasn’t because we weren’t meant to be it was because we kept fucking up. I don’t believe in that fate bullshit you choose whether or not you want someone in your life.

“Where’s kai?”

“He’s still outside, he’ll be back down here soon.”, I assured him.

“What are you going to do once we get back to Seoul?”, He asked me. In truth I didn’t know, I wasn’t going to stay at his place but, I don’t have the cash to just drop on key money plus rent and most likely gas, water and electric.

“I guess I’ll have to figure something out.”, I muttered closing my eyes wanting to sleep things off. I wasn’t in the right mind set to be thinking about things like this right now.

“No, we’ll figure it out I won’t let you struggle Y/N.”, He whispered as I fell asleep. I know it isn’t right to just ignore my problems but it was better this way, I wanted to focus on something else, anything else. Yixing and Kai seemed to be helping me do that just for now, I think I need them.


“You look sexy.”, Kai grinned biting his lip before his hand connected with my ass.

“Let’s not get your dick ripped off Kai because you want to be a pervert.”, I said with a sharp tone before climbing over the railing to sit on the front of the boat. It was a couple of days after the break up and it was awkward as hell. There was a clear divide on this damn boat. You had the two nobody liked or fucked with at the moment, Baekhyun and Taeyeon. Then you had the rest of the exo members who were in an awkward position from choosing sides. Then you have Yixing, Kai and I who just don’t want to be bothered at all. 

Right now the three of us were standing on deck getting ready to do what I thought was fishing however, Kai had something different in mind.

“Let’s have a threesome.”

Yixing’s head shot up in disgust, while I furrowed my eyebrows. Why is this man so perverted? I didn’t want to ask what happened with Krystal since apparently they were broken up before I had even met Kai.

“No I’m not into that kind of thing.”, Yixing scrunched his nose up. He told me once that he believed everyone out there had a person they could spend the rest of their lives with. 

That was one of things I’d admired the most about him, his loyalty. Let’s be honest here we’re all selfish when it comes to our romantic partners. Even if you aren’t being possessive by saying “You’re mine, you belong to me.” we still expect their romantic attention to only be on us. If your boyfriend gets caught kissing another girl you’d be pissed. If they had sex with another girl that’s a break up. Then if you’re married that’s a whole damn divorce because you expect them to only pay attention to you. What if it was different, would it be okay to cheat on your partner as long as you came back to them? 

“I’ll pass no offense.”, I giggled helping Yixing pull out the chairs. I’ve had enough threesomes with Taeyeon and Baekhyun. Could you even call it that when the focus was always on the two of them.

 Even being in that so called poly relationship I realized those aren’t perfect either. You still want attention and affection, watching one of your partners constantly make love and spend time with the other, while only kissing you and telling you they love you every once in awhile isn’t enough. You want more because we’re selfish in the end our jealously gets to us and… that’s okay.

“Why would that be an offense, I’m a grower not a shower.”, He insisted and I did want to think about the size of Kai’s penis.

“Okay let’s change the subject I do not want to think about the size of your penis Kai.”, I muttered staying closer to the edge of the boat looking over the poles and down at the sea.

“I’m being serious Yixing is decent when soft but I’m telling you, get me hard and I’m huge.”

“Kai that’s enough.”, Yixing muttered disgusted with the current conversation about the size of his penis. I mean I’ve only ever since Baekhyun’s dick and you can’t go of the size of porn stars so, I had no room to judge.

“Remember that stupid scene from the Titanic where Rose was supposedly flying.”, I chuckled remembering the scene since I had one of my feet lifted on the poles looking down at the water.

“Hey, that wasn’t stupid it was romantic.”, Yixing pouted while Kai walked over to where I was standing. He lifted his feet onto the poles hovering over me.

“Come on I’ll show you.”, Kai smirked rubbing on my shoulder. Sighing I lifted my other foot fully on the poles, this just seemed so awkward to me.

“I don’t see the point of this.”, I mumbled Titanic was my favorite movie when I was younger but once I re-watched it as a teenager that bitch, knew she had enough room for him.

“That’s because Kai isn’t doing it properly.”, Yixing chuckled before lifting his feet onto the poles wrapping his arms around Kai’s waist lightly.

“I’m flying.”, Kai shouted right into my ear throwing himself into a fit of giggles.

“I still don’t see the point of this.”, I groaned turning my head towards the two men. Yixing just chuckled while an evil smirk appeared on Kai’s face. His grip around my waist loosened on one arm and tightened on the other.

“This will make it more interesting.”, He chuckled raising his arm lifting my chin towards him causing our lips to meet. I didn’t tense up yet, I still didn’t kiss him back. Still there was no reason for me to push him away. His lips pressed deeper into mine while his nails dug into my chin. After a few moments he pulled away with a large grin plastered on is face. Looking behind him Yixing stood with his cheeks flustered with a hint of irritation in his eyes.

“Don’t just kiss her Kai damn you’re way to comfortable with her.”, He scolded letting go of Kai’s waist gently grabbing my arm helping me back on the boat.

“It was just a kiss.”, Kai chuckled jumping back on board winking at me before laying back across the beach chair he sat in previously. 

“I’m surprised you didn’t try and stick your tongue down her throat.”, Yixing huffed swiping his thumb across my lips to remove any scent of Kai.

“Hey, don’t wipe off my love.”, He shouted playfully slightly lifting himself off of the chair. Yixing wrapped a thin silk like piece of fabric around my waist tying a slight knot before adjusting it.

“What are you doing?”, I asked curiously it’s not like I was wearing a cheeky bathing suit. I was actually wearing a one piece since I still wasn’t sure how accepted bathing suits were in Korea. It didn’t bother me honestly because, I never liked wearing bikinis it just felt like I was walking around in bra and panties.  Still, it didn’t really matter since it’s a new era and things are slowly changing in Korea.

“Oh, don’t think anything of it, I thought the color went well with your swimsuit.”, He smiled a small blush rising on his cheeks before itching the back of my neck.

“He’s marking his territory.”, Kai interrupted the small moment with his comment. “It’s so obvious he might as well piss on you.”, He giggled when an offended gasp came out of Yixing’s mouth. I knew he wasn’t trying to which is why I didn’t get pissed.

If I’m being honest with myself I don’t know how I ended up following my mother’s footsteps. I was well aware of the fact that children who saw their parents being abused could go down the same path so, I desperately tried to make sure that never happened. 

Ever since I was 14 I had this strong desperation of being in control of myself. If someone told me what to do or how to live, even if it benefited me I got so upset. Once my mother was joking and said “You’re mine, I own you.” and it pissed me off. We got into a huge argument about it whether or not she was my mother or guardian I’m in control of myself.  We all are, if you choose to let someone control you then that’s on you but, when someone tries to force control it irks me.

“No, it’s not like that at all.”, Yixing said firmly snapping me out of my thoughts his eyes searching mine for any doubt. I giggled and pinched one of his cheeks smiling in Kai’s direction.

“I know you would never do anything like that.”, I chuckled before fully turning towards Kai who held a smug look on his face. “But you would, wouldn’t you? Now I have to be careful around you because of that little kiss.”, I spoke as Kai got up from the chair once again strolling towards Yixing and I. Once he was a few feet away he draped his arm around my shoulders.

“Come on, it was a joke don’t take away my fun.”, He said with a pout  on his face.

“Don’t get too close.”, Yixing warned standing closer behind Kai and I. I knew what was coming next, Kai is a piece of shit who liked pissing people off.

“Leave us alone aren’t we a thing now Y/N?”, Kai asked me with a playful glint in his eyes causing me to roll mine. 

“Stop being a pervert, Kai.”, I groaned pushing his arm off of me getting ready to snap on him however, his lips connected with mine once again. It was any different from the first kiss Kai was just being an ass.

Except this time when I pulled away Taeyeon and Baekhyun stood there

and he was pissed.

Buzzfeed’s 46 Of The Most Beautiful Sentences In YA Literature

1. “You could rattle the stars. You could do anything, if you only dared. And deep down, you know it too, and that’s what scares you the most.”
—Sarah J. Maas, Throne of Glass

2. “Because sometimes chance and circumstance can seem like the most appalling injustice, but we just have to adapt. That’s all we can do.”
—Gavin Extence, The Universe Versus Alex Woods

3. “I can’t seem to be a pessimist long enough to overlook the possibility of things being overwhelmingly good.”
—John Corey Whaley, Where Things Come Back

4. “Books are my friends, my companions. They make me laugh and cry and find meaning in life.”
―Christopher Paolini, Eragon

5. “Because Margo knows the secret of leaving, the secret I have only just now learned; leaving feels good and pure only when you leave something important, something that mattered to you. Pulling life out by the roots. But you can’t do that until your life has grown roots.”
—John Green, Paper Towns

6. “Do not pity the dead, Harry. Pity the living, and, above all those who live without love.”
―J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

7. “I’m done with those; regrets are an excuse for people who have failed.”
—Ned Vizzini, It’s Kind of a Funny Story

8. “Becoming fearless isn’t the point. That’s impossible. It’s learning how to control your fear, and how to be free from it.”
—Veronica Roth, Divergent

9. “The moon is a loyal companion. It never leaves. It’s always there, watching, steadfast, knowing us in our light and dark moments, changing forever just as we do. Every day it’s a different version of itself. Sometimes weak and wan, sometimes strong and full of light. The moon understands what it means to be human. Uncertain. Alone. Cratered by imperfections.”
—Tahereh Mafi, Shatter Me

10. “Eleanor was right. She never looked nice. She looked like art, and art wasn’t supposed to look nice; it was supposed to make you feel something.”
—Rainbow Rowell, Eleanor & Park

11. “Don’t be afraid of death; be afraid of an unlived life. You don’t have to live forever, you just have to live.”
—Natalie Babbit, Tuck Everlasting

12. “Just because we’ve been … dealt a certain hand … it doesn’t mean that we can’t choose to rise above — to conquer the boundaries of a destiny that none of us wanted.”
—Stephenie Meyer, Twilight

13. “Some walks you have to take alone.”
—Suzanne Collins, Mockingjay

14. “That’s the thing about pain. It demands to be felt.”
—John Green, The Fault in Our Stars

15. “We believe in the wrong things. That’s what frustrates me the most. Not the lack of belief, but the belief in the wrong things. You want meaning? Well, the meanings are out there. We’re just so damn good at reading them wrong.”
—Rachel Cohn, Dash & Lily’s Book of Dares

16. “Why would you be given wings if you weren’t meant to fly?”
—Leslye Walton, The Strange and Beautiful Sorrows of Ava Lavender

17. “Live! Live the wonderful life that is in you! Let nothing be lost upon you. Be always searching for new sensations. Be afraid of nothing.”
—Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray

18. “It’s just that…I just think that some things are meant to be broken. Imperfect. Chaotic. It’s the universe’s way of providing contrast, you know? There have to be a few holes in the road. It’s how life is.”
—Sarah Dessen, The Truth About Forever

19. “The universe is bigger than anything that can fit into your mind.”
—Ava Dellaira, Love Letters to the Dead

20. “I try to think about how it all works. At school dances, I sit in the background, and I tap my toe, and I wonder how many couples will dance to ‘their song.’ In the hallways, I see the girls wearing the guys’ jackets, and I think about the idea of property. And I wonder if anyone is really happy. I hope they are. I really hope they are.”
—Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being a Wallflower

21. “Things were rough all over but it was better that way. That way, you could tell the other guy was human too.”
—S.E. Hinton, The Outsiders

22. “What if evil doesn’t really exist? What if evil is something dreamed up by man, and there is nothing to struggle against except our own limitations? The constant battle between our will, our desires, and our choices?”
—Libba Bray, Rebel Angels

23. “It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live.”
—J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone

24. “It’s like the people who believe they’ll be happy if they go and live somewhere else, but who learn it doesn’t work that way. Wherever you go, you take yourself with you. If you see what I mean.”
—Neil Gaiman, The Graveyard Book

25. “I can tell you that the end of a life is the sum of the love that was lived in it, that whatever you think you have sworn, being here at the end of Jem’s life is not what is important. It was being here for every other moment.”
—Cassandra Clare, Clockwork Princess

26. “Life, with its rules, its obligations, and its freedoms, is like a sonnet: You’re given the form, but you have to write the sonnet yourself.”
—Madeleine L’Engle, A Wrinkle In Time

27. “Maybe who we are isn’t so much about what we do, but rather what we’re capable of when we least expect it”
—Jodi Picoult, My Sister’s Keeper

28. “People never really died. They only went on to a better place, to wait a while for their loved ones to join them. And then once more they went back to the world, in the same way they had arrived the first time around.”
―V.C. Andrews, Flowers in the Attic

29. “Goodbye, I say, goodbye, as I disappear little by little into the middle of the middle of my own spectacular now.”
—Tim Tharp, The Spectacular Now

30. “But if I’m it, the last of my kind, the last page of human history, like hell I’m going to let the story end this way…Because if I am the last one, then I am humanity. And if this is humanity’s last war, then I am the battlefield.”
—Rick Yancey, The 5th Wave

31. “The words were on their way, and when they arrived, she would hold them in her hands like clouds, and she would ring them out like the rain.”
—Markus Zusak, The Book Thief

32. “Child, no one is ever ready for anything. I would never doom you to that. What sort of adventureless life would that be?”
—Alethea Kontis, Enchanted

33. “And now that you don’t have to be perfect, you can be good.”
—John Steinbeck, East of Eden

34. “Maybe some people are just meant to be in the same story.”
―Jandy Nelson, I’ll Give You the Sun

35. “If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s this: We all want everything to be okay. We don’t even wish so much for fantastic or marvelous or outstanding. We will happily settle for okay, because most of the time, okay is enough.”
—David Levithan, Every Day

36. “Doubt everything at least once. What you decide to keep, you’ll be able to be confident of. And what you decide to ditch, you will replace with what your instincts tell you is true.”
―Amy Plum, After the End

37. “Just as a river by night shines with the reflected light of the moon, so too do you shine with the light of your family, your people, and your God. So you are never far from home, never alone, wherever you go.”
—Karen Cushman, Catherine Called Birdy

38. “You spend your whole life stuck in the labyrinth, thinking about how you’ll escape it one day, and how awesome it will be, and imagining that future keeps you going, but you never do it. You just use the future to escape the present.”
—John Green, Looking for Alaska

39. “There’s no shame in fear, my father told me, what matters is how we face it.”
—George R.R. Martin, A Clash of Kings

40. “I know that the whole point—the only point—is to find the things that matter, and hold on to them, and fight for them, and refuse to let them go.”
—Lauren Oliver, Delirium

41. “We feel cold, but we don’t mind it, because we will not come to harm. And if we wrapped up against the cold, we wouldn’t feel other things, like the bright tingle of the stars, or the music of the aurora, or best of all the silky feeling of moonlight on our skin. It’s worth being cold for that.”
—Philip Pullman, The Golden Compass

42. “It’s a lot easier to be lost than found. It’s the reason we’re always searching and rarely discovered—so many locks not enough keys.”
―Sarah Dessen, Lock and Key

43. “On that cold night in January it all slipped into place for me and she became my everything and my everyone. My music, my sun, my words, my logic, my confusion, my flaw.”
—Julie Murphy, Side Effects May Vary

44. “Hope? Hope can be a powerful force. Maybe there’s no actual magic in it, but when you know what you hope for most and hold it like a light within you, you can make things happen, almost like magic.”
—Laini Taylor, Daughter of Smoke and Bone

45. “[She] had always suffered from a vague restlessness, a longing for adventure that she told herself severely was the result of reading too many novels when she was a small child.”
—Robin McKinley, The Blue Sword

46. “Youth cannot know how age thinks and feels, but old men are guilty if they forget what it was to be young.”
—J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

From Con to Con (Part Five)

Part One

Part Four

A/N: Guess who got a lot of writing down this week because work was slow! Hopefully I’ll get my stuff together so I can post more chapters soon. :) Thanks for all the comments, likes, and reblogs. Love you guys! 

Pairing: Rob Benedict x Reader

Warnings: drinking, language, self-loathing, physical and verbal abuse

Word Count: 2,517

Tags: @dont-hate-relate-pls, @nekodresden85, @baritonechick, @i-dont-understand-that-url, @sympathyforluci, @crowley-you-sinnamon-roll, @authoressskr, @your-not-invisible-to-me, @cantchoosejustonefandom, @chelseypaigeake, @crowleysminion, @laffytaffyhumor, @smoothdogsgirl, @destiel-addict-forever, @multifandomlove2002, @agent-superwholockian, @b-northington, @waywardswain, @prettyboy-spn, @oriona75, @thatone67chevyimpala, @shititskatelyn, @spnackleholicswainer, @bloodstained-porcelain-doll, @multi-fan-dom-madness, @ebeers1673

Forever Tags: @eileenlikesyou-maybe

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Layers of Fear ↔Crowley x Reader↔

Summary: Based on the Psychedelic horror game ‘Layers of Fear’. Rowena narrates the story of her son Fergus and his wife Y/N to the Winchester Brothers when he yet hadn’t sold his soul and eventually became the king of hell. She highlights the day of her death and what followed after Fergus had lost the love of his life and left behind their little son, Gavin, driving him to insanity, depression and a dellusional alcoholic addiction.

Warnings: Angst, Major Character death, Mentions of Alcohol Addiction and Depression, Blood

Taking a sip of her hot beverage, Rowena sat at one of the century old armchairs in the now Winchester household, the Men of Letters Bunker. Humming, the powerful redheaded witch admired the atmosphere in the library, reminiscing the old times, almost 500 hundred years earlier. It was only when the youngest of the brothers occupied the sit accross from her and cleared his throat, taking her back to reality.

“What are you thinking about?” Sam questioned Rowena as she smirked, not realizing Dean Winchester had also joined the duo in the room with an ice cold beer in hand, sitting right next to his little brother he loved dearly.

“Probably about how she can live a hundred or more years in addition. What now? Drink goat’s blood Martinis?” Dean joked, chuckling to himself. Rowena ignored his remark and rolled her eyes.

“Nothing. Just thinking about the old days.” She replied to Sam’s question with her beautiful accent that never failed to impress when she met new faces. He nodded, thinking a bit before moving to a second question.

“H-How was Crowley before he became a demon? And with whom did he have Gavin with?” Rowena almost spit the cinnamon biscuit she was chewing. She tensed up and with wide eyes she stared into Sam’s hazel orbs before relaxing.

“And why would you like to know, Sammy dearest?”

“Moments before the angels fell we held Crowley captive in a barn and he said some…Sensitive things. About how he deserved to be loved and that there was only one person in the world that completely understood and loved him and that she was taken away by our god. He also mentioned that he hated everything.” Sam hesitated but admitted, at least.

“Typical.” Dean groaned and downed the golden liquid in the glass bottle that rested at the wooden table.

“Then, why don’t you ask him?”

“He won’t open up”

“Hmmm…I’ll tell you” She smiled and wiggled in her seat, trying to find a comfortable position. “Get comfy gentlemen, it’s gonna be a long talk.” She cleared her throat and begun analyzing her son’s story. “So, a while back…”

“Mother there is no way this looks good” The young woman spoke as she stared at her reflection in the mirror. Apparently, her aunt’s birthday present was oversized for her body, making it impossible for it to stay in place and look classy or comfortable for the girl to wear.

“Aunt Gertrude must have thought you needed the bigger size”

“Aunt Gertrude can go and..”

“Easy there. What did I tell you? We do not swear for the sake of this family. Honey what will the people think if they hear you, a person of the high class talking like that?” Her mother asked.

Scoffing, Y/N ignored her mother’s lecture and brought up the problem she had with her dress. “Do you maybe know any tailor that can fix it?”

“Of course. There is a new shop downtown. Minka and Vallerie told me that he did a good work on their wedding dresses.” She listened carefully. “William will get you there with his carriage.“

“No, no. I would rather walk”

And so she did. With a smile she faced the world. She found many friends on her way to the tailor. If you could call them friends of course. Maybe they were just acquaintances. Or maybe she was the victim of their lies and their snarky remarks.

Finally she reached her destination. Her face fell when she came across the ‘close’ sign on the glass door. Though she could still make the figure of a man through the window. So she knocked.

“Hello” She spoke in a small voice. Even though her rich and aristocratic inheritance, the almost 25 year old woman could not help but feel shy most of the time. She was surely a kind girl. “I’m sorry if I’m bothering sir.”

“No, it is alright. Come in. My name is Fergus Macleod and you must be?”

“Y/N. Y/N Y/L/N. Pleasure to meet you sir.” He was awestruck by her beauty and kindness. In his eyes, he had never seen such a beautiful person before him.

“From the Y/L/N family? What can I do for you M'Lady?”

“My aunt is a b- Sorry, I mean, she wanted to buy me a dress and got the wrong size so, is there anything you can do to help me? “ He nodded and gently smiled at the young woman .

“Sounds like a bitch” He winked and she chuckled. “I will make it perfect for the perfect girl”

Something about Fergus lit a spark inside her. He was something different than the oh so classy fake men she met. He was kind and funny to her. He made up for every friend she never had and soon, she found herself visiting his little shop more and more often.

“My son fell in love and it ruined him. It was worth it. She was the only good thing that has happened in his doomed life.” Said Rowena.

“No way! Crowley actually fell in love! What happened then, mommy and daddy wouldn’t let their little girl get married to the poor tailor? Aw poor Ferg-”

“Dean! Shut up!” Sam scowled his older brother. “Rowena, go on”

“Not quite. They were pretty fond of my son and maybe a year after they had met, they got married. I’ve never seen someone love so much as Crowley did Y/N and vice versa.” Dean and Sam were shocked to learn that centuries ago, Crowley, the man that almost killed and tortured thousand souls without any mercy was head over heels for someone. Dean was intrigued but Sam already knew it would end in a tragedy. They couldn’t imagine how much pain Y/N’s death costed to Crowley.

Y/N and Fergus had a big wedding and her parents gave the couple as a present a huge mansion over the hills they could use as a home. Fergus at first insisted that they didn’t need to spend that much money and that he would be okay, even with a small cabin as soon as he was with the love of his life but Mr and Mrs Y/L/N wouldn’t have any of that.

So they moved in and had a fresh start. Their love for each other only grew with them and it gave them a son they both adored so much. Little Gavin Macleod.

Nothing lasts forever.

“Daddy where is Mommy?” A three year old Gavin asked Fergus as he sat in his lap in the couch of the one of the many luxurious living rooms in the mansion.

“Mommy is out getting you treats for being such a good boy” The little boy cheered and Fergus’ heart swelled. He had everything he needed. A family. “It is late, little man. Shouldn’t you be asleep?”

“I wanna wait for mommy. She is gonna be home soon, right daddy?”

“Course she will. She’s been really stressed lately so why don’t you go ahead and sleep on your time? She’s gonna be so proud of her responsible little man” The little boy nodded and kissed his father’s cheek before hurrying to find his bedroom excitingly.

No more than an hour later, Y/N joined him in the living room carrying heavy bags. He rushed to her and helped her, kissing her cheek in the process.

“Gavin is a big boy, my love. He went to sleep early tonight with his own accord” He told her, chuckling to himself and winking to his wife. It was then when he started to notice that something had changed. The poor woman looked like she had seen a ghost. He ran to catch her as he realized she was about to fall. “Hey, hey, you’re okay, I’ve got you,okay? I’m gonna get you to our room.” He whispered to her ear before picking her up bridal style and carrying her up the never ending stairway.

“I don’t feel good, baby, not at all. It hurts so much.” She tried to say as her breathing unevened and cold sweat covered her sweet face.

“You’re gonna be okay, my darling, you are gonna be fine. Where does it hurt?” She closed her eyes and tried to focus on eliminating the pain, even though she had no success.

“E-everywhere, baby. It’s s-so cold and I’m in so much pain i-I just want it to stop please m-make it stop” A tear escaped his eye as he watched the woman he loved with all his heart hurt. He couldn’t do anything.

“I-I’m sorry Y/N, I can’t. I promise it’ll go away. I promise”

“I love you so much” she said. “You and Gavin. So so so much” She sobbed. He never got to say it back. The last thing he heard her say was his name. It was the most painful sound he ever heard. It came out as a choked sob. Nothing in the world compared to the pain he felt the very moment he felt her last breath against his lips.

“Fergus changed his name to Crowley. He despised that her last words came out so painful.“ Rowena sighed and the boys stared at her in shock. They could have never guessed the true, tragic story of the deadly King of Hell they met years ago.

“Wow…” There was a pause in the room. Sam and Dean were taken aback by the shocking story they were just learning about. They felt a sudden pity for Crowley. Of course, that wasn’t a reason to kill millions of people and corrupt thousand homes throughout the years that he held his title.“Did he sell his soul to bring her back?”

Rowena shook her head in order to show her negativity. “My son is crazy. He knew that it would just offer him 10 years of life and those weren’t enough to spend with her and maybe after his death, he dreaded the thought that Y/N would be able to find someone better than him and forget him. He needed her all by himself. He was hers and she was his.. He is hers and she is his.“

After his beautiful Y/N’s death Fergus fell victim to the world of alcoholism and depression. He never got out of their shared room for months. The only reason for him to exit his room or the house was in order to buy more liquor. He completely forgot about his son who was asking for his mama all the time. He did not take care of him after what happened. He had been a father to him, now he was nothing. So Gavin learned to take care of himself. He learned to make simple meals alone, wash his clothes by hand and clean his room. Y/N wouldn’t be proud though. That was not a way for a child to grow up. Sure thing, she would be happy that her son is a responsible little man. Nevertheless she would absolutely hate the distance between her beloved son and husband.

Sometimes the Macleod household would receive letters by many friends and relatives sending their sympathy. He didn’t need their sympathy. He needed her, and pieces of paper with meaningless words wouldn’t bring her back.

The house was even worse. It was a mess. Scattered empty bottles of whiskey and wine were everywhere littering the what it used to be a welcoming house, broken furniture were everywhere and some paintings had fallen from the wall to the floor.

Crowley had melancholic illusions cause by his alcohol addiction and they mostly involved Y/N. Sometimes he would see her being there next to him, humming an unknown anthem and other times he would see her dead body looking broken and fragile crying and spasming in the distance. It was a scary sight. It broke his heart.

“Does he still think about her? Why hasn’t he brought her back?” Rowena shrugged her shoulders. Only if she knew the answer… Deep in her cold heart she believed that he thought of Y/N every passing day.

“I do” A voice echoed through the walls of the bunker. “I do think about her every day of this damn life. I still have visions of her.” Crowley announced catching everyone off guard. “Mother, I see you haven’t revealed all of my personal life to Animal Kingdom. Wanna say more?” He said sarcastically.

“I’m sorry” Sam attempted to comfort the King but he only received a death glare.

“Sorry isn’t going to bring her back”

And then, he vanished.

A month later

“Moose. Not Moose. Meet my beautiful queen Y/N Y/L/N. I believe you’ve already heard of her” Crowley admitted proudly, wrapping an arm around the woman dressed in obviously expensive clothing as she smiled brightly. The Winchesters just shared a confused look.

Cause they saw noone but the King standing in front of them, all alone.

46 Of The Most Beautiful Sentences In YA Literature

Would not repost properly so had to copy and paste.

thesoumimuffin:

1. “You could rattle the stars. You could do anything, if you only dared. And deep down, you know it too, and that’s what scares you the most.”
—Sarah J. Maas, Throne of Glass

2. “Because sometimes chance and circumstance can seem like the most appalling injustice, but we just have to adapt. That’s all we can do.”
—Gavin Extence, The Universe Versus Alex Woods

3. “I can’t seem to be a pessimist long enough to overlook the possibility of things being overwhelmingly good.”
—John Corey Whaley, Where Things Come Back

4. “Books are my friends, my companions. They make me laugh and cry and find meaning in life.”
―Christopher Paolini, Eragon

5. “Because Margo knows the secret of leaving, the secret I have only just now learned; leaving feels good and pure only when you leave something important, something that mattered to you. Pulling life out by the roots. But you can’t do that until your life has grown roots.”
—John Green, Paper Towns

6. “Do not pity the dead, Harry. Pity the living, and, above all those who live without love.”
―J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

7. “I’m done with those; regrets are an excuse for people who have failed.”
—Ned Vizzini, It’s Kind of a Funny Story

8. “Becoming fearless isn’t the point. That’s impossible. It’s learning how to control your fear, and how to be free from it.”
—Veronica Roth, Divergent

9. “The moon is a loyal companion. It never leaves. It’s always there, watching, steadfast, knowing us in our light and dark moments, changing forever just as we do. Every day it’s a different version of itself. Sometimes weak and wan, sometimes strong and full of light. The moon understands what it means to be human. Uncertain. Alone. Cratered by imperfections.”
—Tahereh Mafi, Shatter Me

10. “Eleanor was right. She never looked nice. She looked like art, and art wasn’t supposed to look nice; it was supposed to make you feel something.”
—Rainbow Rowell, Eleanor & Park

11. “Don’t be afraid of death; be afraid of an unlived life. You don’t have to live forever, you just have to live.”
—Natalie Babbit, Tuck Everlasting

12. “Just because we’ve been … dealt a certain hand … it doesn’t mean that we can’t choose to rise above — to conquer the boundaries of a destiny that none of us wanted.”
—Stephenie Meyer, Twilight

13. “Some walks you have to take alone.”
—Suzanne Collins, Mockingjay

14. “That’s the thing about pain. It demands to be felt.”
—John Green, The Fault in Our Stars

15. “We believe in the wrong things. That’s what frustrates me the most. Not the lack of belief, but the belief in the wrong things. You want meaning? Well, the meanings are out there. We’re just so damn good at reading them wrong.”
—Rachel Cohn, Dash & Lily’s Book of Dares

16. “Why would you be given wings if you weren’t meant to fly?”
—Leslye Walton, The Strange and Beautiful Sorrows of Ava Lavender

17. “Live! Live the wonderful life that is in you! Let nothing be lost upon you. Be always searching for new sensations. Be afraid of nothing.”
—Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray

18. “It’s just that…I just think that some things are meant to be broken. Imperfect. Chaotic. It’s the universe’s way of providing contrast, you know? There have to be a few holes in the road. It’s how life is.”
—Sarah Dessen, The Truth About Forever

19. “The universe is bigger than anything that can fit into your mind.”
—Ava Dellaira, Love Letters to the Dead

20. “I try to think about how it all works. At school dances, I sit in the background, and I tap my toe, and I wonder how many couples will dance to ‘their song.’ In the hallways, I see the girls wearing the guys’ jackets, and I think about the idea of property. And I wonder if anyone is really happy. I hope they are. I really hope they are.”
—Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being a Wallflower

21. “Things were rough all over but it was better that way. That way, you could tell the other guy was human too.”
—S.E. Hinton, The Outsiders

22. “What if evil doesn’t really exist? What if evil is something dreamed up by man, and there is nothing to struggle against except our own limitations? The constant battle between our will, our desires, and our choices?”
—Libba Bray, Rebel Angels

23. “It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live.”
—J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone

24. “It’s like the people who believe they’ll be happy if they go and live somewhere else, but who learn it doesn’t work that way. Wherever you go, you take yourself with you. If you see what I mean.”
—Neil Gaiman, The Graveyard Book

25. “I can tell you that the end of a life is the sum of the love that was lived in it, that whatever you think you have sworn, being here at the end of Jem’s life is not what is important. It was being here for every other moment.”
—Cassandra Clare, Clockwork Princess

26. “Life, with its rules, its obligations, and its freedoms, is like a sonnet: You’re given the form, but you have to write the sonnet yourself.”
—Madeleine L’Engle, A Wrinkle In Time

27. “Maybe who we are isn’t so much about what we do, but rather what we’re capable of when we least expect it”
—Jodi Picoult, My Sister’s Keeper

28. “People never really died. They only went on to a better place, to wait a while for their loved ones to join them. And then once more they went back to the world, in the same way they had arrived the first time around.”
―V.C. Andrews, Flowers in the Attic

29. “Goodbye, I say, goodbye, as I disappear little by little into the middle of the middle of my own spectacular now.”
—Tim Tharp, The Spectacular Now

30. “But if I’m it, the last of my kind, the last page of human history, like hell I’m going to let the story end this way…Because if I am the last one, then I am humanity. And if this is humanity’s last war, then I am the battlefield.”
—Rick Yancey, The 5th Wave

31. “The words were on their way, and when they arrived, she would hold them in her hands like clouds, and she would ring them out like the rain.”
—Markus Zusak, The Book Thief

32. “Child, no one is ever ready for anything. I would never doom you to that. What sort of adventureless life would that be?”
—Alethea Kontis, Enchanted

33. “And now that you don’t have to be perfect, you can be good.”
—John Steinbeck, East of Eden

34. “Maybe some people are just meant to be in the same story.”
―Jandy Nelson, I’ll Give You the Sun

35. “If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s this: We all want everything to be okay. We don’t even wish so much for fantastic or marvelous or outstanding. We will happily settle for okay, because most of the time, okay is enough.”
—David Levithan, Every Day

36. “Doubt everything at least once. What you decide to keep, you’ll be able to be confident of. And what you decide to ditch, you will replace with what your instincts tell you is true.”
―Amy Plum, After the End

37. “Just as a river by night shines with the reflected light of the moon, so too do you shine with the light of your family, your people, and your God. So you are never far from home, never alone, wherever you go.”
—Karen Cushman, Catherine Called Birdy

38. “You spend your whole life stuck in the labyrinth, thinking about how you’ll escape it one day, and how awesome it will be, and imagining that future keeps you going, but you never do it. You just use the future to escape the present.”
—John Green, Looking for Alaska

39. “There’s no shame in fear, my father told me, what matters is how we face it.”
—George R.R. Martin, A Clash of Kings

40. “I know that the whole point—the only point—is to find the things that matter, and hold on to them, and fight for them, and refuse to let them go.”
—Lauren Oliver, Delirium

41. “We feel cold, but we don’t mind it, because we will not come to harm. And if we wrapped up against the cold, we wouldn’t feel other things, like the bright tingle of the stars, or the music of the aurora, or best of all the silky feeling of moonlight on our skin. It’s worth being cold for that.”
—Philip Pullman, The Golden Compass

42. “It’s a lot easier to be lost than found. It’s the reason we’re always searching and rarely discovered—so many locks not enough keys.”
―Sarah Dessen, Lock and Key

43. “On that cold night in January it all slipped into place for me and she became my everything and my everyone. My music, my sun, my words, my logic, my confusion, my flaw.”
—Julie Murphy, Side Effects May Vary

44. “Hope? Hope can be a powerful force. Maybe there’s no actual magic in it, but when you know what you hope for most and hold it like a light within you, you can make things happen, almost like magic.”
—Laini Taylor, Daughter of Smoke and Bone

45. “[She] had always suffered from a vague restlessness, a longing for adventure that she told herself severely was the result of reading too many novels when she was a small child.”
—Robin McKinley, The Blue Sword

46. “Youth cannot know how age thinks and feels, but old men are guilty if they forget what it was to be young.”
—J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix 

Source:BuzzFeed