doom spiral

Emotions that go with being a Spoonie

Fear: this is a big one. It is easy to be afraid when you are sick, and as spoonies we are always sick, but then the other stuff starts to add up quick, turning into a deep downward spiral of doom

Loneliness: Spoonies are often left out of invitations or can’t go even if they are invited. Friends ignore calls, until they have time to deal with their “sick” friend. Quite frankly, able bodied people don’t have time for spoonies so we are lonely. Spoonies get left out of a lot.

Sad: this one is easy. Feelings of sadness come for all kinds of reasons as a spoonie. It’s sad being a spoonie and watching the world go by as if it were a television show and we are just watching it.

Anger: this is a big one. It’s easy to be angry for being a spoonie. Wondering why. WHY ME???

Self-Doubt: doubting yourself due to your disability

Feeling Inferior: always trying to overcompensate, prove that you are just as normal as everyone else.

Self-Pity: it’s easy to feel sorry for yourself as a spoonie, because you feel like everyone else does.

Mad at the world: this one is easy

Feel free to add any others that come To mind or things that you have felt.

Alcohol, Juggie, and his dad.

Did anyone see Jughead hide FP’s flask after the jam session, when he and Archie are talking?
Whatever you do, don’t imagine Jughead watching his father drown out his troubles with alcohol. Don’t think about how Jughead watched his dad fall into a spiral of doom, one bottle at a time. Don’t imagine Jughead despising alcohol for all it’s done to his family- tearing them apart.
Avoid contemplating whether Jughead dealt with a drunk FP Jones every night or so, listening to his liquor-induced ramblings about how he’s failed his family. Don’t wonder whether our resident writer spent almost every night worried that his father would drive under influence, and end someone’s life. Maybe even his own. Stop yourself from deliberating the number of bottles or flasks or secret stashes Jughead has probably had to hide.
Just don’t. Because I did, and I’m crying.

3

poem ||  (tbh this is a reaction to how Elektra seems devoted to Matt, whether by dragging him back into her sphere of influence or running to his side even though she can tell he really (wants to) like the other girl, but she still seems to recognize his pull towards Karen - and that sends me down the whole spiral of doomed love and one sided love that i kinda like)

anonymous asked:

Your new Star Wars story is making me very curious about your opinions on Vader. You had Luke not bother with him and I know you're not a fan of characters evil characters. Do you feel Luke was wrong in the movies? For my part, I don't believe Anakin DESERVED a second chance but I'm glad he eventually did the right thing and I love that Luke tried to save him.

I adore Luke Skywalker. He’s a farm boy with a heart of gold who rebuilds the Jedi Code into something better than it was– and that revival and rebuilding culminates in him loving and forgiving Vader. It’s a triumph for Luke that has little to do with whether or not Anakin deserves anything, and I love it. 

The Jedi Code, among other things, calls for ‘selfless love,’ yeah? That’s the line Anakin throws to Padme, talking about compassion. But the Jedi focused too hard on the ‘selfless’ and forgot the ‘love’ in ways that made them aloof, brittle, and cold. Anakin focused too hard on the ‘love’ and forgot the selfless– he fell into a terrible, passionate, destructive spiral that doomed everything he cherished because teenaged him was a whiny idiot. 

But Luke takes in all the things he has been taught– from Yoda, from Obi Wan, from Han and Leia, his aunt and uncle. He’s told he has to kill Vader, that there is no room here for forgiveness, compassion, mercy, or faith, and he calmly refuses to listen. It’s in his decision to go to Cloud City despite Yoda’s warnings, and it’s also in his decision to surrender himself to his father’s mercies, on the faith that there is still Light in him. 

And, very importantly to me, when Luke surrenders himself to Vader he is harming no one and risking no one else’s lives. He realizes he can’t be of any help to Han and Leia (because he’s a giant Force beacon of ‘rebels here!’). He has no mission whose success hinges on him. He believes there is Light in Vader, and he is willing to risk his own life on that gamble, but he doesn’t risk anyone else’s, and that’s so important

Luke’s story in that final movie is astonishingly unimportant to the outcome of the battle, which I think is an amazing choice for their protagonist. If Luke died and failed. nothing would happen. Han and Leia would still get the shields down. The rebel fleet would still blow the battle station. Luke’s battle is an emotional and an internal one– to stand against the Dark, to not Fall. His goal is someone else’s redemption and his methods are extraordinary passive. His success hinges on his patience, his faith, and, in the end, the last remnants of his father’s love and life. He wins by believing in other people, even when they really don’t deserve it, and he wins by being willing to die for that faith. I love it. I love Luke. He’s great. He’s a giant silly goober who had no reason to think that plan would work, and I love him. What a softie. 

But despite me loving that being Luke’s story, in my AU(s) (and I’m almost done with a second one here, coming soon to a theatre near you), I find it really hard to save Vader, myself. In the ‘switched at birth’ one you’re referencing here, it’s hard to imagine a Luke who just lost Alderaan forgiving anyone, so my Vader didn’t make it through that story. 

But mostly I’m just not as kind as Luke. Eh. I’d make a bad Jedi anyway. 

Imposter Syndrome: What it looks like in my life

OK, this post about stereotype effect is the most popular one I’ve done and has struck a chord with a lot of people. Imposter Syndrome is a closely related issue that came up a lot in the comments.  I thought a follow-up about imposter syndrome might be appreciated.

Here are a couple of links about the syndrome if you are not familiar with it.  Good ol’ Wikipedia has the basics and this article in Forbes gives some examples and ideas for dealing with it.

 This is a story about one of my recent bouts with imposter syndrome and how I’m trying to deal with it.  I’m putting it under a read more because it’s really long and probably not of interest to everyone.  It’s also rather personal, so sharing it feels risky.

 

Keep reading

roachpatrol replied to your post:Update reaction:

tbh i think terezi’s got depression in every timeline and that’s what makes her so vulnerable to self-confident manipulators like vriska and gamzee— in the vriska timeline she imploded over a mistake she didn’t even make. poor kid.

Depression and/or a cluster of self-worth problems that send her into a doom spiral whenever something goes wrong and she feels like it’s her fault, because she’s The One Who Is Super Good At Everything

(I really can’t see Gamzee as a self-confident manipulator tho, he’s a doofus of a kid full of pent-up rage playing at being villain, there’s absolutely nothing masterful about any of his interpersonal relationships)

TB’s 2 Cents - Zine Review

“Doom Spiral #4 & #5” - Seth G.

I’ve been getting a lot of zines lately thanks to trades. Seth G. here is a hooligan based out of Buffalo, NY. I heard of him through Nighted Life. Doom Spiral is his zine that documents graff hijinx with occasional drawings and even a maze in #4. This zine is what inspired me to make “Bad Photos for Bad People,” because it is cut and paste and photocopied. DIY or die, as always. Each one has a short interview with a diff graff guy. Pretty interesting read, I’d suggest picking one up or trading with him. He also does rad traditional tattoos.

Check him out here: hiddendoorways.tumblr.com