One time somebody told me that they loved me and I felt my heart stop.
Then it began to beat once more because I accidentally told them ‘gesundheit’.
Because how can you love me when you cant even tell me my favorite color.?
How can you love me if you don’t know that I despise using the one bunny ear rule when I tie my shoes?
How can you love me if you haven’t seen me at my worst, broken down sobbing into my hand as I try to hold the fragments of my sanity together?
How can you love me if you don’t find comfort within my smile, no matter how goofy it is?
How can you love me if you don’t appreciate the way I cant walk a straight line to save my life?
How can you love me if you won’t stay up for my Disney marathons and belt out lyrics?
How could you have ever loved me in the first place?
—  S.n (DONT tell me you love me if you cant tell me my favorite color.)
Don’t Tell Me You Love Me...

Don’t tell me u  love me..
For i won’t say it back..
Don’t tell me you’ll be there..
I am scared i’ll get attached.

Dont tell me i am pretty..
Or that you like my eyes.  
For when it’s over
Il look in the mirror and all i’ll see is lies.
Dnt tell me to trust you..
Or you are different from the other guys..
Dont tell me about your favourite songs..
For il listen to them on repeat and have sleepless nights
Dnt keep promising me fairytales..
Or that forever  you’ll be mine..
For i’ve watched love fade away..
Far too many times…
Dont lure me with those pretty words
For ill throw them back at you when we fight
and il make it rhyme..
And that’s something you’ll highly dislike..

For there is nothing you can say
To the girl that’s heard it all..
So dont tell me you love me.  
For words dont get to me anymore..
Show me you love me..
And my heart will be yours.


A Kim Namjoon/Rap Monster Mini-series

Summary: You meet a clumsy guy on the streets of Seoul, and it just so happens that he’s one of the nation’s most well-known idols….and he’s interested in you.

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13 Chapter 14 Chapter 15 Chapter 16 Chapter 17 Chapter 18 Chapter 19 Chapter 20 Chapter 21 Chapter 22 Chapter 23 Chapter 24 Chapter 25 Chapter 26 Chapter 27 Chapter 28 Chapter 29 Chapter 30 Chapter 31 Chapter 32 Chapter 33 Chapter 34 Chapter 35 Chapter 36 Chapter 37 Chapter 38 (Final) Epilogue

Originally posted by taestylips

Chapter 28

‘Isn’t everyone else here?’ you pant as Namjoon stumbles through the door of the dorm, you wrapped tightly in his embrace as he continues devouring your mouth with his.

'I dont know, and I dont care.’ he murmurs, continuing to shuffle backwards through the darkness, the two of you stumbling as you struggle to kick your shoes off, eventually giving up and just backing up towards his room.

The sound of quiet laughing is heard from one of the rooms but neither of you acknowledge it as you crash through the doorway into his dark room, Namjoon slamming the door behind you before pushing you back onto the bed and quickly crawling over you, his hands going to the hem of your dress and hurriedly pushing it up your body to pull it over your head.

'Take your clothes off.’ you demand, hands instantly reaching up to force his shirt open, and forcing his head back down to yours so that you could lock your lips with his once again.

Your mouths jaggedly work against one another as he rips his shirt off, moving quickly to strip his trousers and boxers off, before his hands are roaming over you body, pinching and fingering at every inch of your skin, eventually coming to stop between your legs.

'Please…’ you beg, nibbling on his bottom lip and sucking it into your mouth as you feel him move your panties to the side and thrust two fingers into you, causing you to arch your back into him and dive your fingers into his hair, holding tightly to the strands as he stretches you.

He doesn’t waste time with prolonging the experience before he’s grabbing a condom from one of the draws in his dresser, ripping the packet open with swiftness before rolling the plastic onto him, reaching for your panties before you can blink and ripping them off of you.

'Fuck. I love you.’ he breathes as he lines himself up at your entrance, before thrusting into you, the feeling of him stretching and filling you, making you moan loudly as your fingers twist in his hair, the overload of feelings distracting you from what he had just said as he begins to rock his hips against yours.

You pant and whine as the sound of skin slapping against skin rings in your ears and your racing heartbeat thunders around your skull, his arms on either side of your head, making the world get reduced to just the image of him panting above you, the sight making the coil that had been building in your stomach tighten even more as you clench your walls around him.

'Baby, I’m close.’ he moans minutes later, his pace picking up as he frantically chases his end, the increased speed pushing you closer to your edge and when his hand is suddenly between your legs, pinching and rubbing at your clit, you fall apart within seconds, the ache in your legs from being poised on either side of his hips becoming numb as it gives way for the pleasure that rolls through your body, making you clutch him tightly to you as you cry out, the motion of you clenching and orgasming around him making him come undone too.

He rocks his hips into yours a few more times, riding the two of you through your highs before collapsing on top of you, his breath huffing against your neck, whilst his body lays heavily over yours, although you dont really pay attention to him as the residual high of your orgasm causes aftershocks to rack through you.

'I’m sorry.’ he murmurs quietly after a few minutes that the two of you spend catching your breath.

'I’m sorry I was such an asshole…I didn’t mean to be like that, I was just really stressed from work and-’

'Its okay.’ you whisper, tilting your head down to press a kiss to his forehead, your anger over the situation early having dispersed, but your lips on his head head make him look up at you with a worried expression.

'I still feel horrible for snapping at you…you were just trying to look out for me and I acted like an idiot….- I dont want to lose you.’

Your breathing stutters with his confession, the words making you suddenly begin to question things that you hadn’t even thought about since you’d met him.

What was going to happen when you had to go home?

Would you ever see each other again?

Would he still want to be with you?

And then there was the issue of;

'I love you.’

You could feel his gaze on your face as he says the words, his voice shaky but the sincerity in his eyes was clear as his hand reaches up to tilt your face towards him, wanting you to understand that he was serious.

'Thats impossible.’ you whisper, the fear running through your veins stemming from the way your heart had doubled to twice its usual size in your chest, trying to break out of your ribcage and signalling that- quite possibly- you felt the same way.

'Why is it?’ he asks quietly, his thumb rubbing lightly along your cheek as he watches you, eyebrows pulling together slightly.

'Cause we haven’t even known each other a week, Namjoon! You cant-’

'But I do.’ he cuts you off, lifting himself up slightly so that he was looking down at you properly and the passion and love that’s radiating from his gaze makes your whole body quake with a strange mix of fear and agreement. When his lips press a gentle kiss to yours, your body trembles beneath him, giving away what you were feeling inside and you instinctively push him off of you, scrambling to your feet and crossing the room to get as far from him as you can, your thoughts racing round your brain making you confused and scared.

'Y/N, whats wrong?’ he asks, his expression confused and his eyes filled with sadness as he watches you from his position on the bed, seeing the way you wrap your arms around yourself and pace in small circles.

'You cant…you cant love me, Namjoon! You cant! We haven’t even known each other for a whole week, we live in two completely different countries, run two completely different lives- You’re a celebrity for God’s sake!’ you shout, pulling at your hair as you struggle to keep calm, too confused with the way your heart was screaming at you that you love him too, whilst your brain battled with the logic of the situation.

'Jagi, calm down, Jagi!- JAGI!.’ Namjoon urges, getting to his feet and walking towards you, reaching out to lay his hands on your shoulders, and you try to bat him away- your thoughts a tornado of emotions, but he ends up grabbing you and crushing you to him, holding you as you struggle against him, until your weak arms wrap around him and clutch him far too tightly to you.

'Please…please, dont tell me you love me when we cant stay together…’ you whisper, the tears already having fallen from your eyes and run onto his chest where your face was pressed into his skin.

'But I do…You’re the only one thats ever made me feel this way, Baby…I cant help it…’ he breathes, his voice being shaky and by the way he sucks in a sharp breath and presses a kiss to your hair, you can tell he is crying too, his arms tightening around you as he burrowed his face into your neck.

You feel your heart strain towards him in your chest, the slight ache emanating from your ribcage making you bite your cheek as you try to contain the cries you want to let out, although you’re not able to hold in the tears as they continue to run down your cheeks.

'And I know its ridiculous, and idiotic of me to say…but I want to spend the rest of my life with you- I cant imagine spending the rest of my life with anyone else…I can’t- I can’t let you go, Jagi!’ he croaks, his words trailing off into a sob which sinks into you, making your blood run cold as your fingers dig into his back, trying to pull him impossibly closer.

'I’m scared…’ you whisper, turning your head towards his that’s still leant on your shoulder, pressing your lips into the skin of his neck, 'I think I love you too…and i’m scared that i’m going to get hurt because of that when I have to leave.’

You feel his hand begin to stroke your hair, his shoulders that are still shaking gently making you continue to press kisses into his skin until he turns his head to face you and your lips find his, his hand cradling the back of your head as he pours all of his love and fear into the kiss and your tears mix together as they fall from your eyes and run down your cheeks.

'I dont want to give up on us.’ he breathes against your mouth, placing gentle kisses on your lips as he leans his forehead on yours, watching you intently as you gaze at him, fear filling you at the prospect of being hurt, but feeling even more scared at the thought of having to leave him.

'I dont want to give up on us either.’ you whisper, moving your hand to cup his jaw as the two of you watch one another, silently promising that you wouldn’t give up on each other, that you wouldn’t leave until it was time.

'I love you, Y/N.’ he murmurs again, smiling gently as his thumb smooths over your cheek, wiping the tears away that had fallen as a result of your fear and replacing them with soft kisses on your eyelids, making you sigh as you finally come to terms with what your heart had been trying to tell you all along.

'I love you too, Namjoon.’



Song Of The Day

Big Sean- Don’t Tell Me You Love Me


I know your tears more than you cause I see ‘em so much
That’s what happens when you’re here with no trust, okay
I lied, cheated, you cried
You done worse shit, and I’m still here, right?
And motherfuck your friends
All them hoes hatin’
If you’re not down, then what’s your location?
I called and checked in every night and that was not probation
They gave they two cents and we ain’t ask for no donation
Man, you on some other other shit
Just found out about my other other bitch
Went from “I love ya” to “Ya don’t know who ya fuckin’ with”
Fresh off of vacay and already need another trip
She said I had enough tries
Oh, and I’m the reason that she doesn’t trust guys
What’s the perfect girl if it’s not the perfect time?
If you wanna leave fine

Just don’t tell me you love me
You’re gonna make it too hard for me
I wish you were ugly
It’d wouldn’t be so hard to leave
'Cause baby I hate to love you
I can’t make up my mind
'Cause right when I tell you it’s over
By the end of the night, I be right back in bed witchu
I be right back in bed witchu
So don’t tell me you love me

(Verse 2)
Wishin’ I would’ve tried more
She wanted the truth
Truthfully I wish I lied more
'Cause when I was true, all I heard was buy more,
Fuck you, who is that? And I don’t know why more

We were picture perfect and I tore it all apart
But if I pick up all the pieces we could still be a collage
Feelin’ like we ended too soon
Used to stay home and do it in all the rooms
Back shots, I know what you like
Had you hittin’ high notes and you don’t even need no autotune
Nights I was Patron'ed up
Girls dressed alike lookin’ like they cloned up
Same nights I wouldn’t pick my phone up
And you was thinkin’ “Damn boy, grow up!”
And I could still hear her leavin’
Crazy, when a heart breaks it never breaks even
I even found another girl that’s perfect
And I’m the only reason we’re not workin’
'Cause what’s the perfect girl if it’s not the perfect time?
And if you wanna stay, fine

Just don’t tell me you love me
You’re gonna make it too hard for me
I wish you were ugly
It’d wouldn’t be so hard to leave
'Cause baby I hate to love you
I can’t make up my mind
'Cause right when I tell you it’s over
By the end of the night, I be right back in bed witchu
I be right back in bed witchu
So don’t tell me you love me

So don’t tell me you love me, whatever you do, whatever you do
So don’t tell me you love me
So don’t tell me you love me, whatever you do, whatever you do
So don’t tell me you love me