your idea of the perfect college doesn’t have to exist.
i’m applying to colleges from iowa to scotland. their student bodies range from over 65,000 to just above 1,000. some are in tiny towns in the middle of nowhere, and others are in cities. their acceptance rates go from over 70% to under 20%. some have campuses, and others are totally dispersed. there are adorable private liberal arts colleges, and large research public schools.
it’s okay if all of these are your perfect college. they don’t need to conform at all, and as long as you can see yourself there, that’s all that matters.
I breathe sharp —
Your lips, the weight of your fingers on my stomach. Delirium. Nobody warned me of falling in love with a songbird. Nobody told me of his siren and the jagged path of his soul. His cheekbones cut like Italian marble, and I am no Michelangelo, I cannot create us into better people. He sings nightmares when father isn’t watching and I play them on my ceiling fan, like our home movies. How much would it take to unravel our history?
I can close my eyes sometimes and fall back to sleep —
Brother, I see you, live wire, underneath my hands. I am blushing, lost in the cadence of your hello. Hear the carols singing, you know what you do and you do it anyway. The pine sticks to your leather jacket, and I watch you like girls watch stars. We were christmas lights in the middle of July, surreal.
Alone, as usual —
God, send help. His name is a prayer and I’ve never believed in anything before. Tell me what to do, so I can do this right. I am afraid of losing this again.
But, wanting like before —
Lazarus left me a voicemail saying he never wants to see me again. Heaven didn’t call back and mailed me your heartache instead. It was a pretty postcard of the Grand Canyon. I love you too much, I love you too bad. You are the bullet wound I could never stitch up solo. Please don’t go.
nestled between GREENS & a willow, a fallen angel, thick, long & DARK lashes adorned pale lips, trembling in its sleep; sunlight EMBRACED its child coated in white, grass embraced her petite frame, RAVEN MANE tucked between bony shoulders, MATTE lips slightly open, shallow breathing an ECHO of her hazy drams. feeble hands gripped tightly to a book; “learn how to dance” cover engraved in an unflattering brown.