dont unfollow me its homestuck

some of these horoscope things are so unabashedly based on homestuck. it’s like

  • aries: creepy, into archeology, dead
  • taurus: awkward, kind of a pushover, likes larping, can’t walk
  • gemini: good with computers, has a lisp, red and blue motif, crazy psychic powers
  • cancer: types in caps, hates themself, is embarrassed of their blood color
  • leo: rps as a cat, has one best friend, has a literal shipping wall
  • virgo: motherly, good at breaking up fights, uses a chainsaw as a weapon, lesbian
  • libra: has a weird thing for dragons, pretends to be a lawyer, is blind
  • scorpio: giant bitch, uses spider themed emojis, missing an arm
  • sagittarius: strong, sweaty, likes milk,
  • capricorn: face-painting faygo-loving juggalo, also murderer
  • aquarius: vengeful genocidal hipster, lives under the ocean
  • pisces: fish chick with a cool trident, wears goggles, royalty