dont think i'd even recommend it to anyone

Solar System: Who should you date?
  • The sun: don't date the sun. The sun is the ultimate fuckboy. Don't u dare date the sun. The sun has got like 8 planets and a bunch of other side hoes that no one knows about REVOLVING them. DONT DATE THE SUN
  • Mercury: unless you want to face the wrath of the sun I'd say you wait until this bitch stops revolving around that giant loser
  • Venus: date Venus. Venus barely does anything that harms anyone and is almost similar to earth. Probably even better. 10/10 would recommend settling down and having kids
  • Earth: you're pretty much stuck with earth until you die. Unless you don't want to, I advise moving to a different galaxy until it settles all of its issues
  • Mars: look, mars is a good guy but I don't think you're their type. Actually no one is Mars' type. Don't even try, buddy
  • Jupiter: this fucker got too many side moons do u rly want to be one of them?
  • Saturn: sorry friend, someone already put a ring on it
  • Uranus: it's like dating a stone cold asshole who farts too much. Don't date Uranus if you want to live properly
  • Neptune: Neptune is pretty chill go ahead and have a few coffees with them. They're a little slow compared to earth but just be patient. They'll come around eventually
  • Pluto: PLUTO. FUCKING GO AND DATE PLUTO. PLUTO NEEDS SOMEONE TO LOVE EVER SINCE THEIR FAMILY CAST THEM AWAY. HUG PLUTO. KISS PLUTO. TELL PLUTO THEYRE IMPORTANT. PLUTO HAS THE BIGGEST HEART