dont talk to me about sports i will have no idea what youre talking about

[fic] but i could stay for longer if you wanted me to

SEUNGCHUCHU WEEK Day 3/8 → communication

the first letter came with a promise to make seunggil fall for its writer.

(on ao3)

I like you. Don’t be too shocked (even though I was too at first).

The letters sit steadily on the pale blue lines of the paper, slanted, like middle-school children sitting back-to-back with each other on a bench. Seunggil can practically hear the high-pitched singing in the excited sweeps of their l’s and f’s.

“What’s that?”

He shoves the letter into his pocket as Seungmin hooks her chin over his shoulder. “Nothing,” he mutters.

“I came all the way to pick you up,” she says, “I’m going to cry if it’s an eviction notice.”

“It’s illegal to evict someone without prior notice,” he says as he gathers his things.

“It should be illegal to have a personality as bad as yours,” she says over her shoulder.

He sprawls out on the backseat of her tiny Honda the moment the door slams shut behind him. The letter seems to burn in his pocket. Non-skaters aren’t easily allowed into the rink locker room, and in general his fans respect his privacy (though that’s more out of fear than anything).

What’s with that kind of opening anyway? “Don’t be too shocked”? Are they implying Seunggil thinks that lowly of himself? It’s that fact, more than anything, that gnaws at him for a full ten minutes, until he gives in and yanks the letter out.

Right now, I bet you’re thinking, what a wimp this person is, not having the courage to straight-up confess to my face, if they’re not even that confident in themself, they can’t be a worthwhile person to consider.

What. Is he that easy to read?

But I’ll have you know, it’s not at all because I’m not confident!! The opposite actually. I’m pretty confident that even without revealing my name or my face, I can make you fall for me through my words alone (lol).

Prepare yourself, Lee Seunggil!

“What are you smiling at?” Seungmin says, with a glance at the mirror.

“I’m not smiling,” he says. He folds the letter up along the writer’s pre-creased lines and puts it back into the envelope.

Keep reading

College AU!Ravi

find leo (here)

  • major: marketing 
  • minor: music 
  • sports: part of the soccer team (mostly because leo signed up when they were freshman’s) 
  • clubs: one of the student organizer of the on campus concerts, also secretly part of ballroom dancing club
  • although he’s not interested heavily in the mathematics of running a business, he really likes thinking up creative designs for advertisment and keeps up with trending brands and things like that so in the end he decided that a job in a field where he could combine his knowledge of art and good products would be really fun!!
  • except he sorta regrets it and wishes he could have majored in music, especially lyrical writing, but for now it’s just his minor
  • he even has a part-time job as a DJ at a club in the college town and he’s always there on friday nights and everyone praises his original mashups and remixes and it makes him feel happy but then he’s like f rick i have a midterm in consumer finance on monday i should start on that
  • and ravi isn’t the best at keeping up with all his schoolwork because marketing is way more overwhelming than he expected and he’d rather spend hours hunched over his laptop editing songs but he knows that the reality is: getting a job in marketing is easier than getting a job in music
  • and also he needs to maintain a gpa of at least 3.0 to stay on the soccer team and he’s scared that if he gets anything lower leo will literally like eat him
  • but anyway he tries to study he really does but he can get kinda off track really easily which is why you are very very surprised when he comes to you very nervous
  • this six foot tall handsome soft nervous boy 
  • and he’s like “h h hi!!! im ravi!!! we have global marketing together and please help me i dont know what im doing for the presentation!!!!!!” 
  • and you’re kind of shocked but also wary because you know ravi’s a nice boy like he doesn’t talk much in class but when he does he jumbles easily over his words but like you notice that his entire notebook is scribbled with notes and he is trying but you’re still like,,,,,should i help him???
  • and ravi is standing there, probably looking way more stylish than any other college student in a five mile radius but that isn’t the point, and he’s like,,,, “sorry- i-just- you’re smart!!!! really smart in class you talk!!!! and you’re smart,,,,when you talk i mean so i thought??? you could help, but,,,,”
  • and he’s again stumbling over his words and you’re kinda like ok maybe he really just is this way naturally and really does need some help so you’re like “…..i can try,,,do you have any ideas of what you’re interested in?” 
  • and ravi kind of hesitates and like pulls the chair out next to you but then gets shy and moves so he’s sitting like one chair away and you’re like,,,,he reminds me of a puppy so cautious but you keep that to yourself and ravi’s like
  • well??? i wanna do something on the music industry and you’re like really?? that’s cool do you like music??
  • and ravi gets bright all of a sudden and is like i do!!! i put out some of my own stuff recently and i dj so!!! i know a bit about it !! and you’re impressed because wow that’s awesome!! and then ravi turns back into a little red ball of embarrassment from your praise and ok it’s cute you admit it ok ok
  • and so you and ravi get to brainstorming on what he could possibly do for his presentation and like at first he kind of seems so unsure of himself
  • but slowly as you get him to talk about what he’s really interested in you see him come to life and all his ideas are so creative
  • and basically at the end of your little session you’ve helped him map out some ideas and ravi is just like ,,,, wow i feel so much better and you’re like im glad!!! and for a second you swear you catch him like staring at you for a moment longer than usual but you push the feeling away
  • and ravi is like if it’s ok,,, can i talk to you more about it again?? and you’re like sure!! ill try to help and he just bows in appreciation and is like i gtg to ballroom dancing club wait no i didn’t say that
  • and you’re like ok by- ballroom dancing club??? and ravi is like lONg sTOry ByE
  • and so you see him in class and the teachers talking presentations and you notice for the first time how ravi starts nervously tapping his foot and he looks so scared and so you catch him outside of the room and you’re like hey,,,hows the presentation?? and he’s like its uh you know uhhh and you’re like dont be scared to ask for help. i want to help you
  • and you’re like good going genius why did u say that outloud he probably thinks ur weird but nope ravi starts glowing again and breathes a sigh of relief and he’s like thANK you i was worried about asking for more help,,,, 
  • and so these brainstorming sessions last for a couple of weeks until you can see ravi is super confident with where he’s going with his presentation and you’re just so happy to see him doing well and then ravi’s like you know??? i need to thank you somehow for your help
  • and you’re like oH no no it’s fine but he’s like here!!! this is a ticket for this concert im gonna be djing at on campus - you should um,,, come,,,,
  • and you want to kinda be like parties aren’t my scene but you’re also curious to see ravi in that kind of environment so you’re like ok-ok ill come!! and ravi leans in to hug you
  • and ok side note you’re like why is he so?? muscular he doesn’t look like the type??? and he’s like well i gtg to soccer see you there
  • and you’re like soccer??? ballroom dancing??? what is he
  • and so the night of the party you find something suitable to wear (more like you borrow it from  a friend because you were gonna go in just some jeans and she was like tHIS is a COLLEGE paRTY please put something …….hotter….on)
  • and so when you get to the place you can already hear really loud EDM and you’re like holy shit when you see how packed it is inside and when you finally manage to get inside you’re surprised to see ravi up on stage, jumping up and down and just looking so much more,,,,,,happy than usual
  • and he’s like got this cut up tank top on and he’s wearing like expensive jewelry and brands and you’re like is this the same clumsy flustered kid i know??
  • and you don’t know how but ravi spots you in the crowd and comes over with a huge smile on his face, sweat coming down his neck and he’s like you made it! he like lifts his shirt to wipe his face and you’re like dont look dont look fuck it im looking ok he’s got abs bye
  • and he’s like you should dance!! have fun!! drink!! and you’re like haha ahh im not really- and ravi like nudges you like come on!! one night wont kill you and you’re like ,,,,,,,,,well you’re like im already here so
  • and before he goes back up stage he’s like “you look really amazing by the way, sorry for staring” and you blush like what no i didnt notice you were and he smiles and your heartbeat gets quicker and you’re like oh no
  • and so you decide to order a drink and then everyone’s suddenly dancing around you so you’re like whatever ill do it too 
  • and before you know it a good two hours has passed when someones hand goes around your waist and you turn about to sock the person in the face but it’s ravi and he gives you a smile, this time a little more dorky and the one you’re use to, and he’s like wanna dance with me??
  • so you and ravi, instead of talking about global marketing, start straight up grinding on each other because it’s college it’s what happens
  • and from that point on it’s all very blurry but ravi is holding you close and you’re both like heY i kinda Wanna kiss you right now so you both just do it 
  • and things happen and when you wake up you are not in your dorm room nope and when you sit up in bed you are not in your bed nope and ravi is next to you sleeping (probably snoring a little) with nothing on and you’re like
  • oh
  • you find his shirt put it on and like try to find the bathroom but instead you find this tall, intimidating boy and a slightly taller, less intimidating boy 
  • and the less intimidating tallest one chuckles and is like “had a fun night with my hyung~~~~ look leo they’re blushing!!!” and the more intimidating one just eats his cereal and nods and you’re like uM … where is the bathroom….
  • and they point it out to you and once you’re in there you’re like ok what happened and you look in the mirror and you’ve got some teeth marks in places and perhaps other imprints on other parts of your body but you’re getting the picture yeah
  • and your hairs a mess but like you’re not freaking out, you’re actually smiling to yourself because its coming back what happened and you put your head in your hands like oh god,,,
  • and once you get back ravi’s awake by some miracle and he’s just got this panicked look on his face and your heart drops because oh no is he going to say he regrets it-
  • but no instead ravi just gets on his knees??? in front of you and is like “im sorry!!! im sorry!!! if you want to forget hooking up with me- if you want i will never bother you again!! you’ve just done so much for me and im in love i mean i like you alot ,,,, like a lot so-”
  • and you’re like rAVi what no i like you too also get up you’re naked please put something on 
  • and ravi gets up a little wobbly but he’s just all smiles and he reaches out to pull you into his arms but you’re like hey hey pants get your pants on
  • and from that night you and ravi are an official thing which is just wild to you for a couple of days but your so happy
  • because now you two sit next to each other in class and ravi holds your hand when he can and always has the dorky big smile when he looks at you (which he does a lot and you’re like ravi - pay attention in class and he’s like but you’re sooo much more interesting)
  • and when it’s his day to do his presentation and everything goes well you two start jumping up and down outside of the classroom when it’s over and ravi is like i dont care that there’s people in the hallway lets makeout
  • and you do except you both get shy like kids when you pull away
  • the tall not intimidating roommate of ravis, hyuk, teases the living shit out of you two 
  • leo just accepts it but he’s also secretly like “ravi, you’ve actually grown up wow” and ravi gets defensive like heY im ,,,,, an adult shuttup leo,,,,,,your face is dumb
  • and ravi insists that he should help you pick out clothes when you shop together because he knows all the good brands and you’re like ravi im ok with this ten dollar sweatshirt but he’s like no no you’re not we are getting you something from stussy righT noW
  • and you cheer him on during soccer which is funny because he kept waving and winking at you from the field so ken had to throw a ball at his head to get his attention 
  • ravi giving you shout outs when he’s djing and the whole crowd going ooooohhhhh~~~ and looking at you and youre like ravi pls 
  • you study a lot and really hard and ravi is so proud of you but he’s also the one to be like heY hey no it’s been three days of hitting the books we are going to the amusement park and you are having some fun and then we are going to my dorm to well you know “relieve stress” 
  • ravi walking around shirtless and you hide your face and he’s like ok but you’ve seen me naked 
  • perhaps if you ever want a tattoo ravi goes with you to get one??? f you dont you sit next to him when he’s getting another one and he’s like “thank god i live on campus or else my mom would murder me’”
  • ravi carrying you to and from places cuz he’s tall and muscles
  • ravi also falling asleep on your lap all the god damn time 
  • also you finally ask what the hell ballroom club is about and turns out ravi is in this program that goes around teaching the elderly how to ballroom it’s like a volunteer thing he does and you’re like holy shit ravi you’re the CUTEST PERson ALIVE
  • and he’s like no no im not i have a mixtape im tough
  • then you cover his face in kisses and he’s like ok fine i agree with you im cute and you’re cute too that’s why we are perfect 

anonymous asked:

Can you do a MM boys+Saeran where they find out you self harm and could you make it like super angst and sad please?

I got experience with this from both ends its ever really sad and full of angst for the partner of someone who self harms. I am sorry if it´s not what you wanted anon.


If you self harm please get help its not good to let you feelings out like this.

Talk to someone you can trust or call a helpline.

You are not alone and there is no reason to be ashamed.


I will put this under the cut since its a really trigger heavy topic. I made them all end good .

Sorry to all mobile users you can find it on the  Masterlist .


Triggers for selfharm and some dangerous thought processes that lead to selfharm.


Keep reading

92 truths

I got taggeed by @blacklioness15 ty mel!! 

Rules: you gotta answers questions and then tag 20 peeps

THE LAST…

1.Drink: water

2.Phone call: mi madre

3.Text message: my stepmom lmao

4.Song you listened to: russian roulette

5.Time you cried: saturday when alex died in 13rw (leaVE ME A L ON E)

HAVE YOU EVER…

6.Dated someone twice: no

7. Been Cheated on: non

8.Kissed someone and regretted it:  boyo i havent had my first kiss yet

9.Lost someone special: yes

10.Been depressed: yes and still am ;)

11.Gotten drunk and thrown up: nein

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:

1. pink
2: yellow
3: blue

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU…

15.Made new friends: YES!!!!!!

16.Fallen out of love:  no ? 

17.Laughed until you cried: yea boi 

18.Found out someone was talking about you: ya lmfao

19.Met someone who changed you: yes ! 

20.Found out who your true friends are: i d k ?

21.Kissed someone on your Facebook list: no lmao

GENERAL…

22.How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: 85%

23.Do you have any pets: 3 cats !! 

24.Do you want to change your name: not really 

25.What did you do for your last birthday: nothing lmao

26.What time did you wake up: 6:25am

27.What were you doing at midnight last night: eating

28.Name something you cannot wait for : to go to a different school 

29.When was the last time you saw your mother: yesterday

30.What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: no idea what the heck

31.What are you listening to right now: hold up by beyonce

32.Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: yea 

33.Something that is getting on your nerves: bitches talking shit and complaining when they get hit 

34.Most visited website: tumblr, youtube

35.Elementary: ya

36, High School: non

37.College: non

38.Hair color: light brown

39.Long or short hair: short lol

40.Do you have a crush on someone: 😬😬😬

41.What do you like about yourself: idfk 

42.Piercings: me ears

43.Blood type: O

44.Nickname: nanouk, noukie, nouk

45.Relationship status: 😬😬😬

46.Zodiac sign: taurus

47.Pronouns: She/her

48.Favorite tv show: 13 reasons why, criminal minds, gotham

49.Tattoos: yikes not yet

50.Right or left hand: rite

FIRST…

51.Surgery: havent had surgery yet i think???

52.Piercing: just ears

54.Sport: volleyball

55.Vacation: france !! 

56.Pair of trainers: ?wot?

57.Eating: atm?? nothing

58.Drinking: fiji water 

59.I’m about to: cry bc i have 3 chapters of math homework to finish due tomorrow and its 10:16pm and i havent even started yet

61.Waiting for: death   summer break

62.Want: to sleep

63.Get married: sure ig lol idk

64.Career: psychologist or translater person lol idk the english word

WHICH IS BETTER…

65.Hugs or kisses: both

66.Lips or eyes: eyes

67.Shorter or taller: i wonna b taller cos ya boi is only 4′8

68.Older or younger: idk ?????

70.Nice arms or nice stomach: on myself?? a nice stomach cos im phat lmao

71.Sensitive or loud: loud

72.Hook up or relationship: relationships wth

73.Troublemaker or hesitant: troublemaker

HAVE YOU EVER…

74.Kissed a stranger?: nein

75.Drank hard liquor? : ya lmao

76.Lost glasses contact/lenses? : no

77.Turned someone down?: yea,,,,,,,,,

78.Sex on first date?: nO WHATTOHECK

79.Broken someone’s heart?: yeahhhhh

80.Had your heart broken?: no lmAo

81.Been arrested?: nah

82.Cried when someone died?: yeah

83.Fallen for a friend?: idk t b h 

DO YOU BELIEVE IN…

84.Yourself?: nO LMFAO

85.Miracles?: bih it bs 

86.Love at first sight?: hoe no 

87.Santa Claus?: papi chulo 

88.Kiss on the first date?: sure lol

89.Angels?: idk yikes

OTHER….

90.Current best friend’s name: ya boi dont have a irl best friend

91.Eye color: hazel

92. Favourite movie: train to busan


oKokok,, im gon tag;; @glossysxga @yoonohwhat @nctreacting @secretlymadeoutofcups @heartclubimagines @hypekyun

witch au

last week i got bored on the busride home and i accidentally came up with this whole universe to place a tfc au in. i dont have time to write anything for it at the moment but here are all my thoughts from that night as well as a few additions i made while talking to my tfc squad about it , all mashed up in a big messy post!! 

(I’ll also make a tag for it on my blog, so if i’ll ever add something to it it’ll be in the ‘tfc witch au’ tag on my blog xx)

  • i got the idea from my friend talking about the part where neil calls the ravens a cult
  •  because they are. a dark magic/ necromancer cult
  • idek if this au has exy
  • maybe its more quidditch than exy who knows
  • kevin can be his ultimate oliver wood self
  • EDIT: exy here is some kind of dueling-sport-magic thing
  • anyways so the ravens are part of the dark magic part of society, while the trojans are the embodiment of the white magic part
  • the two different kinds are distinguished by marks on their skin, not unlike tattoos, usually on their arms
  • the foxes take in rejects from both sides, they come to call their kind of magic grey magic  or neutral because they have influences from both sides (which makes them pretty strong once they get over differences etc) (which is why the Trojans pick it up)
  • wymack himself is a “bastard” so to speak (mixed, his father was a dark wizard, his mother a white witch)
  • Abby is a healer. she never developed special magic abilities but knows her way around simple spells, potions and plants
  • kevin grew up around the ravens but, due to his mother and paternal grandmother ,has a draw to white magic. he’s determined to master both sides and be the Best Like No One Ever Was
  •  now with kayleigh it was complicated. she was something that happens only about once in a few centuries - a white witch born to a family of dark wizards.
  • she never had prejudice against either side and never planned to act upon her magical abilities until she met tetsuji
  • kayleigh lived undercover as a dark witch, which is important bc dark wizards of high prestige like the moriyams wouldn’t have anything to do with a random white witch
  • and idk together they make this special magic fight sport thingy and they call it exy
  • the monsters come from a relatively powerless white clan, influenced partly by south american techniques (such as nicky’s family)
  • aaron turned out, well,like a minyard, “normal”, he thrives to become something like abby, a healer, he wants to use his limited powers to help others, so endearing.
  • but andrew
  • oh andrew
  • this is probably a common thing with twins and maybe they were born on a blood moon or sth anyways, andrews mark was completely fucked up when he was born
  •  it was neither dark or white magic, it was something entirely new, powerful
  • and tilda gave him away because of it
  • the thing is, , their father,let’s call him killian, was a bastard too. and since its becoming more and more common magic evolution is doing its thing and andrew is infact one of the first actually “grey” or “neutral” or whatever you wanna call it wizards
  • which is why he gets this special potion/medication/spell stuff to keep him at bay and why he spent a good part of his teenage years trying to get,,,rid of the marks on his arms by creating more marks. eventually he just sticked to the armbands to cover them up
  • it was not only magic evolution though, but also kilians doing. he planned it all to have andrew as his very own powerful soldier (or rather, weapon) and to overthrow the (magic) government. he didn’t take two things into account: 
  1.  the kid that you abandoned 19 years ago isn’t all too pleased with your plans of using him for world domination
  2.  your other kid that you abandoned 19 years ago and that never even had a place in your plans is not all too pleased with any of your doings and will kick your ass (Aaron is the one that kills Kilian in the end, you can be sure of it)
  •  neil was born to a dark clan but during their years on the run he and his mother usually relied on the most simple spells/none at all which is why he poses as a noma (non-magical) (note: i had no idea that jk rowling used nomag for american muggles. all i know is that i came up with noma in 2 seconds while sleep deprived and i’m kinda disappointed in jo’s creativity)
  • thats one of his big secrets, that he is actually capable of the most powerful dark magic WHOUPS
  • his mark is probably covered in scars by the point he comes to palmetto
  • BUT
  • its some dramatic fight thing with the ravens and neil needs to step up and be the angsty dramatic protagonist he is and he does this really complicated and powerful spell and his scars just begin to glow in the colour of his mark
  •  like avatar-mode just creepier
  • as for the other characters:
  • seth & betsy are nomas
  • allison and matt come from white clans
  • dan& renee from dark ones
  • the knoxes are a very nature/herbal based white clan (actual molly weasley!martha knox)
  • alvarez comes from an urban white wizard network (like digital spells and shit its amazing)
  • laila is crazy good with divination but otherwise not very powerful
  • when the trojans and foxes meet up jeremy talks to kevin about his plans to make the trojans neutral too, which gives kevin the idea to trust jeremy with jean (because what other clan will take in a refugee from the darkest dark magic clan there is other than the foxes?)

if you have any questions/ideas for this au please tell me about it!! it’s very dear to my heart and i will take anything that i can get

anonymous asked:

Hi! I saw your poly frogs post about Chowder/Nursey being a thing first, and I Need More. Imagine Dex realises he likes them, and they're dating, so he avoids them, and they realise they NEED Dex, but its hard to convince Dex he's not 3rd wheeling.

HI YES I’M ALWAYS DOWN TO TALK ABOUT THE FROGS 

  • ok so ngl i dont really remember my whole train of thought w the other post only bc it’s been months SO for this post it’s second semester of their frog year and nursey and chowder are dating and dex is like ok i’m definitly bi 
  • also chowder is still really good friends with farmer and they have weekly froyo dates where they talk about boy problems and the antics of their respective sports teams 
  • anyways 
  • the year ends, graduation, dibs, etc, everyone goes their separate ways for the summer, and nursey and chowder still talk all the time. like almost constantly. they both snapchat like it’s their job. they also text and call and skype a lot
  • dex also snapchats/texts a lot but he’s busier than both of the bc he works a lot in the summer and he has a big family that he hangs out with, so he calls and skypes when he can, but still kind of feels left out
  • he misses them like hell like he misses them so bad 

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

As you're a detransitioned radfem, I was wondering if you could maybe give me ideas for what to do about my chest? As I don't like my chest at all, mostly because it marks me as obviously female and its like they're a calling card for me to be treated like shit because of it. I recognize it stems from social problems, but in the meantime idk what to do??? As I dont want to transition and mess my life up more.

I wish I could offer immediate relief, I wish I could hand you simple advice on managing dysphoria. Wearing sports bras rather than the “regular” bras that tend to be marketed to women may help. They aren’t so traditionally feminine and they also work to downplay your breasts (without engaging in the dangerous practice of binding- which I would argue is not only dangerous physically, but can also be mentally harmful.) 

I know quite a few women who have embraced weight training/chest exercises. One cannot really lose fat in a targeted area, especially not breast tissue, but you can tone your chest, and really, more than anything, perhaps that kind of work-out would help to develop a relationship with that part of yourself that isn’t disassociative and adversarial. 

Which brings me to the final, messy, difficult point: Your chest is you, it’s not stuck on you or some alien thing you need to deal with. I know that seems insane and probably impossible to process, but it’s the truth. And I know that women with particularly large breasts have to deal with a particular type of harassment, but as I’m sure you know, a flat chest wont save you from harassment. If we’re talking solely about social issues and harassment, then this could be a discussion solely about breast reduction (which I’m not necessarily advocating, but which is a very different discussion!) instead of a discussion of “transition” and, presumably, mastectomy. But I don’t think we’re really talking about that so much as about your own relationship with your body. That’s the core issue, that’s the messy difficult issue, and that’s the thing to work toward reconciling. I myself never went so far as to have a mastectomy in an attempt to deal with dysphoria, but it is the position of this blog that transition, including mastectomy, will not save you from the condition of being female in the world, and in the long run it will not truly reconcile your relationship with yourself- because your body is your very own self. That’s something I am still learning myself, something that’s intensely personal, and something I can’t simply give to you right here, today. I wish I could. But here are some books that friends have suggested to me-

The Body Keeps the Score
Getting Clear: Body Work for Women
Trauma and Recovery

I’ll be thinking of you, anon!

Never Think (pt 2) | Luke

a/n: in which everything continues to be pretty cliche. and yeah, this will definitely be three parts, sooorry :)
[PART ONE]

masterlist | request

Your eyebrows raised in shock and you pushed your hand through your hair, “Oh? Okay,” you stopped, looking at the others for confirmation before you continued. Ashton and Calum both nodded in agreement and you sighed, “He literally hasn’t spoken to me since. Like, he won’t even text me back.”

Keep reading

Art advice post: Gaining fans

OK! :D I promised a few of you I was going to write this advice post and I’m so sorry it’s taken me so long to sit on my butt and get around to it. (I have the flakiest motivation ever). But here it is, it’s a biggie. I get asked this question a lottttt. Here’s something of an answer.

Question: How do I get a fanbase to care about my work/project/art. How do I even GET a fanbase?

Answer: The first thing I’m going to say is that unless you’re lucky enough to create something that strikes as viral and gains quick popularity from minimal work (like mini comedy comic strips) you are in for a VERY VERY LONG SLOG. I’m not talking a month. I’m not talking a year. I’m saying you’re going to be VERY SLOWLY getting people to care about your stuff over years and YEARS of hard work that very few people will even end up seeing, let alone caring about. If the thought of that pisses you off or makes you want to look for a magical shortcut- just give up now or don’t even bother starting. The most important part of trying to get a following for anything creative is understanding that NOBODY OWES YOU ANYTHING NOMATTER HOW HARD YOU WORK. The attention of strangers is something that is gained after people see you’re in for the long haul and serious about your own work. People don’t like flakes. They dont like it when people hate on their own stuff constantly or fish for compliments disguised as self loathing. It gets tiring fast. You have to 100% WANT to succeed. When i wake up in the morning I don’t think ‘wahhh what if everything fails, what if nobody cares’. I get the hell up, sit at my desk, and work towards MAKING people care about my work, by making my work the best it can be. If you’re going to be negative at least channel your frustrations into working on your project instead.

Consistency of work and sharing is vital to keep peoples interest. If you vanish offline for months at a time people will simply move onto the next thing that grabs their attention or updates regularly. You have to engage your audience and potential audience. That is nobodies responsibility but your own. So don’t moan about nobody seeing your stuff if you can’t put the personal effort in to get it out there. I see so many people do this. Nobody will come to you looking for you. Nobody is going to find a marble in a ballpit unless they have some damn knowledge that the marble is even IN there to begin with. This is about EFFORT. TIRING HORRIBLE DISGUSTING EFFORT. Lazy people can sometimes gain a following but personally I wouldn’t be happy with myself creatively if I knew I wasn’t giving it my all.

You need COMMITMENT to your project and skills. The one person that should love your thing the MOST is YOU. If you don’t go to bed at night daydreaming about your characters and stories, thinking about how to improve your skills or even hoping for people to care then nobody else will either. Why should they? People will emotionally invest in something that has real emotions. Don’t just do something for the sake of it. You really have to believe in what you’re trying to create. If you can convince yourself that you have something good then you’re a step closer to making someone else care.

Now i mentioned that this takes years and it does, but one of the best things you can do for yourself (and others) is to get involved with other things around you. Draw for other people, show your love for other peoples work, openly show your love for the things that inspire you to make your own stuff. You’ll make friends, you’ll LEARN things, your skills will improve and you will become less cautious about sharing when it comes to your own projects. The things closest to us are the scariest to share right? So you need to get used to that early on. The more you do it the less disappointed you’ll get when you expect a certain response and don’t get it *lol*.

As an artist who gained popularity through fanart before my own original projects I’d say draw fanart- but don’t get hung up on it. I don’t believe that every single artist out there is destined to make something of their own. Some of us like watching sports while some play them. It’s the same with art really. Not everyone has that enthusiasm to follow through on an idea. Fanart is safe, it’s comfortable and it’s a group activity. Everyone already knows what their dealing with so you’re adding to an already solid concept. Draw fanart sometimes, it’s cool. HOWEVER if you want to get further on with your art as a career you REALLY REALLY need to develop and share your own ideas too. I say this because you do not own another persons property nomatter how much you may love it. If you’re building your own reputation off another creators back you’re walking on shaky ground. Employers will often like to see a bit of fanart to show you can commercially deal with existing IP in a professional way, but what they really want to see is how your brain ticks and what new ideas you can bring to THEM, not something legally unusable.

So fanart. It’s a gateway into originality and getting people to care about your skills or even you as a person. If two people like the same thing then there’s a chance they might also like something entirely new together. So keep that in mind. Make friends who share your interests!

On the subject of friends. Something I cannot stress enough. DO NOT spam, harrass, ass kiss, stalk or be a tryhard to befriend an artist you look up to. They have absolutely NO obligation to share your work with their readership. Getting in with a famous artist does not= overnight instant fame for your stuff. Get that out of your head right away. It makes me so fucking sad when people use creative folk as stepping stones simply to forward their own popularity. People can spot a fake friend a mile away. I have to deal with more than a few :\ and it makes you very very jaded. Be a friend, not a opportunist. I’ve had a few great artists share my work over the years and i try to do the same for my own friends too, but I never approached them with only THAT in mind. Don’t be an art creeper be genuine.

Because remember- NOBODY OWES YOU ANYTHING EVER.

Another big thing, you need to have an online presence. People need to remember your name, your brand, your style and where to find you. Get a website. Get a blog. Get ALL THE THINGS on social media. Talk into the void about your work and eventually people will slowly (very slowly) read what you have to say. If they can find you that is. Singular websites are incredibly difficult to stumble across, even with Google. You have to get your ass into communities, events, public events and NETWORK LIKE CRAZY. You are the only person who can do this for you! Unless you pay for an agent, lol. But you are the person who best knows your work and what you want to do.

YOU ARE NOT going to get a following for your work with 1 twitter account that uploads maybe 1 character sketch every 8 months. Nobody will give a shit. I wouldn’t. Make a CONSTANT effort and people will make an effort for you.

Something i’ve had a few times at conventions which drives me potty (in a nice way) is when artists come up to me at the table looking for advice and they pull out a single bit of art they drew on paper like its the crown jewels. They just have a character design, nothing else. Yet they want to make a comic or be hired or whatever. Why are you not already drawing comics of your own? If you cant write why haven’t you teamed up with a writer yet? What is your excuse? When I was 12 I was sending 60page full color comics across the ocean to companies to try get their attention. I was a kid. You are an adult. Get on it! Nobody will care unless you put in the hard work VERY REQUIRED of this type of work and they can see you have high output.

What else… hmmm. I think a lot of you get discouraged when you have indeed tried for years yet the uptake has been torturously slow. You get self hatey on your projects. What would I do rather than hate my work I’m supposed to care about deeply? Stop, realise that I’m obviously doing something wrong, then try to remake it entirely into something people might care about more. You can really drag a project by not being honest with yourself or being willing to bash your own stubborness and try something new. Some of the most famous stuff out there was rehashed like 8 times before it became what it is now. When i had to entirely press the self destruct button on my old story it was actually the breath of sanity and fresh air that allowed me to create Engelbaum from scratch. And years later I am SO GLAD that I did. So sometimes, if something isn’t working, try something new. Salvage the bits you genuinely care about. We improve all the time, so just keep working on it.

It might be easy to look at other artists or writers and see the GIANT HUMILIATING SIZE of their fanbase and think 'wow I’m an unremarkable piece of shit’. But chances are they’ve been at it for years and they will (everyone does) started off with 0 fans. We all start at the bottom. Some of us have it easier and some of us struggle. Sometimes luck and random happenings, chance meetings and so on play a big part. But the only time “luck” happens is when you’ve worked hard to put yourself into a position to receive good news in the first place. It’s a chain reaction, not luck. Not magic. Nothing or nobody owes you anything. Repeat repeat repeat.

Long story short, if you’re serious about your work, see it like a child. You have to be committed to take care of it, introduce it to the world and instil good values into it. Don’t halfass it. Don’t be a bad artmomma and expect the world to throw you gratitude for a halfbaked potatochild :|

I hope that helps a few of you. Harsh truths, lol.

Girl Meets World needs to run for quite a few seasons

Like, at least until the kids finish High School.

Because I want Riley and Lucas to try dating in Freshman year of high school, and maybe it even goes on for a while, a season or 2 but in the end it doesnt work out. Not because of anything mean or hurtful, just that they are better friends. And as great as they are together, they dont challenge each other the way they need to be.

I want Lucas and Farkle being total bros throughout all the years, because Riley and Maya have each other and the boys should have that friendship too. I want Lucas to beat the crap out of someone for Farkle.Or maybe Lucas is having trouble with a class and Farkle is the one who stays up all night cramming with him for the big test. Farkle being the one to sit Lucas’s ass down and make him apply for colleges, even though his families going through a hard time with money and Lucas doesnt want to be more of a burden. Farkle calling up every contact he has to find a scholarship for Lucas so he can go. Farkle following him to whichever college he chooses because Farkle already knows what he doing with his life, hes taking over his fathers company, his degree is just basically for show. (ATTEMPTING TO JOIN A FRAT LUCAS AND FARKLE BEING MASSIVE DORKY PLEDGES)

Maya becoming more confident in her art, and carrying a sketchbook everywhere. Entering more art competitions and winning them. She has painting of all her friends pinned up around her room.

Mayas mum getting an acting job, but its the lead in a touring play, which means pulling Maya out of school and having to go with her. Riley freaks out and they make a plan to hide Maya so she cant go.

But Corey just puts another bed in Rileys room, and talks to her mum. Maya will stay with them. Corey remembers what its like to see the person you care about most trying to be taken from you. Corey knows that family isnt always blood related. So Corey takes Maya in, no hesitation, because she is his other daughter as much as she is Rileys sisters. Because he got to keep Shawn, so Riley should get to keep Maya.

Maybe Maya going off the rails a bit when she gets to high school, (see Shawn in BMW) since everyone thinks shes a no good kid anyway, she may as well act like it. She doesnt know where she fits in here, amongst all these cliques, especially when her friends seem to have somewhere so easily. Maya doesnt want to be alone, and its raining and Maya has a cigarette, and then Riley is screaming at her and Maya is screaming back and Riley is clutching Mayas face and telling her she matters because Riley says so and nothing else matters except that. And then Maya is crying and clutching at Riley, and as long as they have each other theyll be ok.

I want Farkle to gain more confidence as he grows up, but never lose that cocky edge he has for being rich and a genius. He is unashamed of who he is and what he has. Maybe Junior year he comes back after summer, just a little bit different but no one can figure out why (new clothes? bulked up a little? just a bit more swagger?) and suddenly there are a lot of girls after him, and Farkle has no idea what to do. and Lucas just laughs and tries to teach him how to flirt, and Farkle is going on dates. And Riley is kind of jealous, but she doesnt know why. But she refuses to be the girl that likes a guy just because he changed over a summer. Farkle has been one of her best friends for so long, if she wanted something with him, she would have had it by now, right?

But then theyre alone at the cafe, drinking coffee and its late and theyre laughing, and its all so easy. It should be this easy all the time. But they cant, because their friends. So they just smile and shake it off, but somethings different.

Lucas and Maya are snarky and unrepentant, but their friendship is not tentative. Its a full forced, you mess with one of us you mess with both of us. They have each others back so much its almost like telepathic communication. Riley just raises her eyebrows and smirks. Maya rolls her eyes and tells, just because you used to think Sundance was hot stuff doesnt mean every one does. 

But something happens, and Lucas is falling in with a bad crowd, probably a sports team full of mean jocks, and Lucas lets himself get pulled in too easily. And then theres one night, and Maya has a hand on his chest telling him this isnt him, hes better than this. And Lucas tries to be condescending, you really think you know me? But Maya doesnt flinch, just grips his shirt tighter, of course I know you, I know you better than anyone, just like you know me, now come on, we’re leaving. And he does, because shes right.

Lucas and Maya getting put in jail during senior year for getting into a fight with a bunch of kids from another school. Riley and Farkle having to bail them out. 

Maya and Lucas slowly learning to accept they might have feelings for each other, but not saying anything because Riley is so important to them. But Riley and Lucas have a quiet moment together, and things have been really good between them, everyone thinks theyre going to get back together. But Riley just tells him she knows, she knows he has feelings for Maya. And shes ok with it, they ended on good terms, and she knows hes going to date someone eventually, and him and Maya work, even if they dont want to admit it.

And Lucas is left thinking about what she said, and he doesnt know what to do. And then Maya is up in his face, asking how his time with Riley was and are they going to get back together, because if he hurts her again she will murder him this time and she might be little but she can sure as hell hide his body in a ditch somewhere. And Lucas just mumbles something about him not getting back together with Riley and trying to walk away to class. But Maya follows him and why wouldnt he get back together with Riley? Riley is great, shes the best person in the whole world, why wouldnt he want to date Riley?

And then hes spinning and facing her and shouting, BECAUSE IM IN LOVE WITH YOU YOU IDIOT! And Maya just blinks, oh. And Lucas just sighs, yeah ok, so can I get to class n–. But shes pulling his shirt softly, guiding his face to her and shes kisses him, and its all tender and soft, where everyone thought it would be rough and angry, and hes cupping her face and pulling her closer. Oh, he breathes when the pull apart.

Then they walk to class, and just dont talk about it. Which obviously means Riley and Farkle need to meddle and get these idiots to officially be together. But, ‘we’re 18 now Farkle, aren’t we a little old to be toying around and making schemes like in middle school’.

‘we could lock them in a classroom together after school and not let them out until they talk’

‘that is the greatest plan I have every heard, lets do it’.

And maybe Farkle and Riley sit outside the classroom all night and listen to Maya and Lucas bicker and argue instead of having an actual conversation and

‘doesnt this hurt, watching Lucas fall in love with your best friend’

and Riley thinks for a moment, like the thought never really occurred to her.

‘Lucas was my first love, but thats why its called first love, because they are supposed to be more after it, for both of us’

And Farkle just smiles and passes her a bag of chips.

Riley freaking out about graduation and not know what she wants to do with her life, and what happened, I was 13 like 2 days ago. Why does she not have anything planned. But her parents tell her its ok, she doesnt need all the answers right now, just do what feels right.  

Just give me friendships that mean everything and these losers getting older and falling in and out of love and being rebellious teenagers and doing stupid shit but always being friends. 

I care way too much about this show.

Chapter Fourteen

Adrian/Ace 

“Yo B, make sure you havent forgot anything in the room!”, I yelled out too Briana who had been getting ready for the past 2 hours while I sat in the lounge room eating my last dose of room service food. Forreal Four Season could get it popping with the food that they be making.

“Ive already made sure 3 times, Ace”, I heard her mutter with attitude as she made her way out of the bathroom looking hella sexy. Her long black hair was dead straight with a part in the middle, her thick thighs were tightly wrapped up in some figure hugging jeans and the top she wore showed of her perfect sized breasts.

“Why you got a attitude for? Im just making sure damn”, I grumbled as I shook my head while peeling my eyes from her body and continued to eat my pasta marinara that tasted so good I wanted to groan out but refrain from doing so as Briana had just pissed me off.

Ever since Briana came back to the hotel room yesterday after going to see Lani she had been distant and giving a nigga attitude. Only time shit changed was when the crew was all chilling but soon as we left the same ole attitude came back and forreal a nigga was getting sick of it. One thing I couldnt stand was when a women gave a nigga attitude without giving them a reason.

“I dont have a attitude”, I heard her huff under her breath causing me to look up and mugged her as she kept her attention on her phone. Swallowing the rest of the food in my mouth, I cleared my throat before deciding to put her ass in check .

“Forreal B Imma leave ya ass here in LA if you keep that shit up”, I gritted out as I threw the fork down on the plate causing a loud bang to erupt from the metal hitting the glass which resulted in her jumping back a little but quickly composed herself

“Who the fuck you think your getting buck with nigga? I aint one of your little side hoes so dont come at me like I am one”, She spat out while throwing her phone on the couch before coming forward and getting in a niggas face like she was about to do something.

If she wasnt pissing me off so much I would have ripped her clothes off by now and fucked the attitude outta her. Woulda taught her reckless mouth a damn lesson.

“This the reason I dont do relationships cause females always up in they feelings and instead of talking bout it like a normal fuckin human being they wanna give niggas attitude and shit. Fuck that man I aint got time for that shit”, I spat out in anger as I snatched my phone and keys off the table and headed towards the front door not wanting to be around her right now.

“Did you know what he did to her Adrian? Did you even try to stop him?”, I heard her muttered in a low voice causing me to stop in my tracks with wide eyes as I knew exactly what she was talking about.

Taking a deep breath I slowly turned around only to be faced with a crying Briana who was looking straight at me with disgust and hurt, but instead of feeling bad I felt my temper rise and I struggled to keep it at bay.

“Dont speak about shit you know nothing about”, I said as calmly as possible which only caused her to frown as she chuckled bitterly.

“She told me everything you piece of shit, how could you stand around and let him rape her like that?!”, She spat out with a little more base in her voice which only caused me to grind my teeth at the disrespect that was being thrown my way.

“You digging in places you dont wanna look B. Imma warn you now dont go prying into Tysons life, he dont take that shit lightly and I aint gonna help you when shit back fires”, I spat out, my voice a little louder than intended although she seemed un bothered by it 

“You think I give a fuck about Tyson? No nigga ! This is about my boyfriend standing around while his piece of shit friend raped my best friend!”, She yelled out as she took a step closer towards me which only pissed me off more.

“The fuck you wanted me to do B? That nigga kills for sport, FOR SPORT Briana. Besides, that nigga’s the closet thing I have to family, no matter how fucked up or wrong the shit he does Imma always stand by him no matter what and aint no girl gonna randomly come in our life’s and try to fuck it up!”, I roared feeling my anger taking over.

Tyson was my brother, my family and aint no one gonna sit there and talk shit about him and I aint gonna say nothing bout it. Briana had no idea what it was like for him, sure what he did was messed up but to him it was the only way he could survive. Besides Lani had forgiven him and moved on so Brianas nosey ass needed to stay the fuck out of it.

“What about Nalani, Ace? How can you even face her knowing you let him rape her repeatedly? Are you really as heartless as he is?”, She questioned causing me to clench my jaw tight. I wasnt about to let this little girl make me feel like it was my fault or put me through no guilt trip, hell na.

“Imma tell you something once and once only. That nigga love’s that girl like you would never understand, he would literally carve out his fuckin heart for her is she asked . Yes the shit he did to her back then was fucked up but he was sick in the head, mentally fucked up and there was nothing J or I could do to stop it without loosing him and that was something neither one of us was prepared to do.”, I gritted out each word as I stepped towards her until she was pressed up against the wall with my tall frame hovering over her small body.

“You may not understand our reasoning because you nothing about Tyson and Im warning you now B cause I actually like and care about you, after this conversation leave it alone. Dont try to dig shit up or turn Lani against him Briana because trust me you dont wanna feel the wrath of Tyson. She didnt use to call him the devil for no reason.”, I grumbled as I ran my hand down my face before pushing off the wall and making my way out of the hotel room so I could cool off.

As soon as I stepped out of the room, my eyes connected to Jeremiahs who was leaning against the wall with his arms crossed against his chest. Before I could speak, I lent against the opposite wall and mentally coached myself to calm my breathing down before I let my anger completely take over and do something I might regret.

“How much you hear?”, I grumbled already knowing the answer, while running a hand down my face and blowing out a frustrated sigh.

“All of it, you good?”, He sighed as he stood up straight and adjusted his snap back before nodding his head towards the elevator which I gladly began to walk too.

“I'on give a fuck what she or no one says, his ma brother dog and I wouldnt change shit”, I spat out as I felt the need to get that out in the open with him although I knew it was un needed.

“Man you aint needa tell me twice. They dont understand Ace, so dont what they say get to you ight?”, He muttered as he patted my shoulder before reaching over and repeatedly pressing the button for the elevator

“You right bra. I just fuckin cant stand when people talk shit and on top of that wanna turn around with bullshit like ‘Why you aint stop him’, They aint no him or what his his like, so stay in ya place and dont speak about shit you aint know”, I grumbled while shaking my head with a frown.

“Im always right cuh, but like I said they dont understand or know him, so hey opinion dont matter. Sure it sucks cause its ya girl but if she cant and wont even try to understand your best friend, than is she really worth it?, He muttered with a raised eyebrow as we both stepped into the elevator that had arrived and pressed the penthouse one to many times.

“Fucking sucks cause I actually like this girl but you know no one comes above ma brothers no matter how good the pussy is”, I chuckled lightly with him before turning serious, “You think she told Jasmine bout it too?” I suddenly asked as I debated in my mind if I should be annoyed with Lani for bringing Briana into this mess.

“Na Jas has no idea. I think Lani’s closer with B and I think she just needed to talk to someone bra so do be too hard on her. Y'all forgetting that Lani been alone through this for years”, J muttered knowing that I was having a internal battle about how I should feel about Lani going out and talking about Tysons demons.

“I know bra but fuck I don’t even no where B and I stand now and what if she goes out a spills? Everything we fought hard to hid will come out”, I sighed as we both stepped off the elevator and made our way to the front doors of the penthouse

“Just give her time Ace, she obviously needs some time to let everything sink in cause I dono if you forgot or not but our past wasn’t chocolates’ and roses man. As for spilling, Briana wouldnt do that to Lani, she loves the girl like a sister and would never betray her man”, J assured me causing me to un tense almost instantly.

Jeremiah was the man to talk to. No matter how bad the situation he always had a way of making you feel better about it and always ked us in the right direction. I could almost guarantee we’d all be locked up if it wasnt for him and his smart mind.

“You right bra, you always damn right”, I chuckled as I started to bang on the door hard which swung opened minutes later and revealed a mean mugging Tyson whose frown disappeared when he realised it was us.

“You’s was bout to get cussed the fuck out bra”, He chuckled as he dapped us both with his good arm and nodded with his head to invite us in.

“How you feeling nigga?”, J cheesed as he playfully pretended to throw a few jabs at Tysons direction who dodged them all before returning the gesture with only one arm.

“Man theses meds are crazy good, I cant feel shit forreal”, He chuckled as he led us towards the mini bar and pulled out a bottle of Hennessy and smirked at both of us with a raised eyebrow, silently offering.

“Nigga I’on think you can mix your meds with that shit”, I chuckled as I watched his crazy ass shrug before taking a swing of it straight from the bottle. Nigga drunk alcohol like it was water but it took a shit load of it to get him even slightly drunk.

“Fuck it bra, it works better with it anyways”, He smirked as he grabbed to whiskey glasses and set them on the counter before pouring both J and I a large amount.

“You saying fuck it now cause Lani aint around wait till she finds out, she gonna straight whoop yo yellow ass”, J taunted as he looked around for Nalani who was no where in sight which was strange as her and Ty are usually glued to the hip.

“Im a grown ass man, she aint gonna do shit”, He huffed causing us to look at him with a amused expression, while he took another swing of the bottle before looking around for some packets of salted nuts that I had downed yesterday.

"Lani’s ass better not of eaten my salted nuts”, He muttered to himself while narrowing his eyes in search as if it would make him see better. Quickly changing the subject so he wouldnt figure out it was mean, I decided to mess with him a little.

“She aint gonna do shit? Ight no worries Imma let her no right know”, I smirked as I looked around the pent house before yelling out, “YO LANIIIIIII!?”,

“Nigga shut the fuck up, you trying to get ya brother killed?!”, Tyson whispered harshly as his head darted towards the main bedroom door with wide eyes.

“Nigga I thought you was a ‘Grown Ass Man’”, J muttered as he and I hunched over and laughed at his reaction. Forreal Lani was the only one who could put even the slightest bit of fear in him and thats only cause he loves her so much that his afraid to disappoint her.

“Man y’all know Lani’s feisty little ass, wont ever let a nigga hear the last of it”, He huffed as he took a seat on one of the bar stools and lit up a cigarette.

“What you expec you aint suppose to be drinking it anyways, ya dumb ass”, J grumbled going all responsible adult on us which we both were use too.

“Where she at anyways?”, I mumbled quickly trying to avoid the lecture that we both knew was coming and  downed the rest of the contents in my glass causing a little burn to erupt in the back of my throat. Id never no how Ty could drink large amounts at a time and not even flinch a little.

“She taking a shower, we gotta be heading out to the airport in about a hour or so. Cant wait to get the fuck outta this state and back home bra", He muttered causing us both to nod our head in agreement.

“Have you guys spoken about the whole Bipolar shit yet?”, J asked causing my attention to turn on Tyson as I waited for his response and reaction although as always his emotions were blank.

“Na not really, I mean I know she hurt that I knew and never told her but we aint really sit down and talk bout it yet”, He confessed casually causing me to shake my head as I knew he was trying to avoid it as much as possible. 

Tyson hated talking about his Bipolar with a passion, it wasnt something he was proud of and preferred to never mention it or even knowledge it .

“She aint no that we knew you had Bipolar this whole time?”, I asked with a raised eyebrow, knowing fully well she didnt.

“Na man she thinks I kept y’all in the dark too and honestly it’s best if she thinks that cause I know she gonna have my balls if she finds out that you and J knew and she didn’t”, He grumbled with frustration.

“She told Briana everything you know”, I blurted out accidentally causing J to groan as he smacked his hand against his forehead. I couldnt lie or keep anything from either one of them and same goes for them. We grew up only trusting each other and confiding in no one but us so it was hard trying to keep secrets, it just wasting in our nature to do so with each other.

“The fuck mean?”, He grumbled as he narrowed his eyes at me before looking over at J for some answers although J just sat there not saying a word knowing it was my secret to tell.

“Exactly what I just said bra she told B. Now B got a attitude with a nigga and forreal I think she done with me”, I huffed out knowing that wasnt the biggest issue in this but was still up in my feelings.

“Briana running her mouth?”, He gritted out in anger as he slammed his fist down on the counter causing a echo to erupt in the room.

“Dont stress bra, I already told her to stay in her place and she wont be talking bout it or nuthin”, I quickly assured him realising he may fall into a manic stage if he got too angry and than we’d all be fucked.

“Bra calm down and dont go putting shit on Lani either ight? She aint never have no one and she needed to talk to someone who cares about her”, J stressed to Ty knowing fully well that Ty would blow this back on Lani .

“She got me cuh ! She aint need to be running to no one else, she can talk to me !”, Ty spat out with frustration laced in his voice. We knew exactly what this was. Ty wanted Lani to himself and hated to sharing her with anyone, both J and I were surprised when we found out she had made friends that Ty actually got a long with because it wasnt in his nature. To Tyson, Lani only ever needs and no one else, so for her to confide in someone other than himself caused anger and hurt.

To anyone else it doesnt make sense but to him and us because we understand him and know how his mind helps, it does make sense.

“Bra you forreal right now? She a young girl Ty, she needs a girlfriend to confide in and shit. You gotta let her talk to someone she trust to help her through her past. And get that shit outta ya head, she doesnt love or trust anyone more than she does with you”, J argued causing him to let out a sigh before taking another swing from the bottle of Henny to calm his nerves.

“Man whatever, I'on like it but I aint gonna interfere cause Im trying to o this her way but Ace you better make sure ya girl dont be going around talking shit and filling Lani’s head with all that crap”, He stated sternly

“Relax bra she aint not gonna be no problem”, I assured him although the look he gave me told me he was still sceptical and would now have his eye on Briana just in case.

“TY?”, Lani’s small voice yelled from inside the bedroom causing Ty’s eyes to go wide as he hid the bottle of Hennessy in record time as J and I tried to stifle our laughs.

“Both of you, shut up”, He whispered just as Nalani made her way out of the bedroom causing Tyson to smile almost instantly. Lani was a beautiful girl and she loved his crazy ass just as much as he loved her, so know matter what Briana or anyone else has to say, I know they were meant for each other.

“Wassup Jamaica?”, J smiled as he wrapped his arm around her shoulder and pulled her into him as she laughed.

“Hi JJ, what y'all doing?”, She cheesed as she jumped onto one of the bar stools next to Ty and leant over pecking his lips which he gladly accepted.

“Nothing, just hanging out before we all gotta jet off”, I muttered as I brought my glass to my lips and took a swing causing Lani too look at me with a raised eyebrow.

“You drinking this early Chincky?”, She frowned as her eyes darted over to J whose glass was sitting in front of him before turning her attention to Ty who was avoiding her gaze. She was too smart for her own good.

“Ty?”, She gritted out causing him to look down at her with a fake confused look on his face, which only caused her to mug him.

“What baby?”, He muttered lowly as I tried my hardest not to crack a smile that was so desperately fighting to come out.

“You been drinking?”, She questioned with a raise eyebrow causing Ty to act offended at her question. Nigga shoulda been a actor instead.

“What? Hell no baby, you know I cant drink while Im meds. These fools just needed a buzz”, He shrugged it off causing J and I to narrow our eyes at him for ratting us out.

Suddenly Lani grabbed his face with her two small hands and crushed her lips on his, making sure to slip her tongue in. She was tasting him. See? Like I said, too smart for her own good.

Pulling away she socked him in his good arm before grabbing the hidden bottle that he tried to hide behind the glasses and poured it down the sink that was at the mini bar,

“Damn baby, you got hands Mike Tyson or Ali”, He muttered as he rubbed the spot she punched while we laughed at her feisty ass.

“I can taste that shit in your mouth Tyson”, She huffed as she hopped off the stool and started to make her way back towards the bedroom only for him to grab her arm and pull her back.

“It was just a sip Lani, calm the fuck down”, He grumbled as he wrapped his arm around her shoulder and pulled her into his chest, not letting her go as she tried to pull away.

“Lord give me strength not to punch this nigga in the balls”, She muttered into his chest as we all died of laughter.

Once we all settled down from our laughing fit, we all made our way to the couches in the lounge room and sat down as we just mucked around to pass time before we all needed to get up and head to the air port.

It wasnt until a hour later did we realise that J and I had left our girls back in our hotel rooms and havent heard from them since until they both showed up at Tyson’s door banging to be let in.

“Man, y'all foul as fuck for leaving your girls hanging like that”, Lani laughed out loud as she shook her head in amusement while walking over to open the door.

“Yo bra, it didnt even cross my mind for a second”, J confessed lowly as Ty held his stomach and laughed .

“Jeremiah !”, Jasmine yelled as she marched her way in with her curly hair all wild and shit which only caused us to laugh harder while J sat there with wide eyes afraid to be cussed out.

“Baby relax, Ty needed us so we been here helping him out”, He lied which she didnt buy for a second 

“Nigga only thing Ive been needing help with is this bottle of Hennessy which y'all gladly assisted me with”, Ty chuckled causing us both to groan at him ratting us out yet again until I realised that Briana had yet to say anything to me or even look my way.

“Come sit down B?”, I chuckled causing her to narrow her eyes at me which caught the attention of all our friends.

“Im just perfect standing right here. Matter of fact Ill be even more perfect when I get out of this damn hotel”, She muttered causing Lani to frown and look at her with confusion.

“You okay B?”, Lani asked softly unaware that Briana was salty at a nigga because of what she revealed to her yesterday.

“Yer B, you okay?”, Tyson smirked causing me to lowly groan as I knew he was getting a kick out of it.

“Never been better, thank you for your concern Tyson”, She mumbled with sarcasm laced in her voice causing me to narrow my eyes at her in a silent warning not to get bold with him.

“Um B, Jas come help me pack the rest of my suitcases”, Lani quickly piped in once she noticed Tyson gritted his teeth as he sent a death stare towards Briana.

Jasmine stood up instantly, not without kissing J on the lips and led the girls out back towards the master room.

“Ty really nigga?”, J chuckled once the girls were in the room with the door closed.

“What bra? I was just asking if she was okay. Fuck it I aint ever gonna try be nice again”, He huffed causing us both to look at him with amused expressions.

“Nigga you couldn’t be nice to no one if ya life depended on it!”, I laughed loudly causing him to smack his lips as he waved me off.

“Yo forreal though we gotta start heading out, like now”, J mumbled as he glanced down at his rolex.

“YO LANI!”, Tyson yelled at the top of his lungs causing poor Nala to rush out of the room while looking around frantically.

“What? What? What happened?”, She stressed as she ran over to Ty

“We need too go baby”, He said as calm as possible as she looked down at him with confused than angry eyes.

“I thought you were dying nigga!”, She yelled in frustration causing us all to bark out in laughter as she walked away while shaking her head.

“Man I'on how she puts up with yo crazy ass”, I chuckled as we all stood up just as Remy and Brock made there way into the hotel room.

“She loves ma sexy ass”, He grinned causing Brock to pretend to throw up.

“The fuck y'all sitting around for? We got a plane to catch shitheads”, Remy barked out causing us all to groan out just as the girls all existed the room with Lani’s suitcase in tow.

“Us girls are ready Rem”, Lani cheesed before turning her attention to Tyson and sticking her tongue out at him causing him to mouth 'When and where?’, towards her just to piss her off which worked.

“We’ll meet y'all in the lobby in 10”, J muttered as he slipped his arm around a giggling Jasmines waist and leading her out.

Gesturing my head towards the door at Briana, she rolled her eyes and stomped her way out the door as Tyson flipped her off as her back was turned to him causing Lani to slap his good arm.

“Wish me luck dawggg”, I chuckled as I dapped his crazy ass and jogged after Briana who was impatiently tapping her foot on the ground as she waited for the elevator to arrive with a irritated look on her face.

Sneaking up behind her I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her back into my chest as I kissed her neck. In a instant she tried to get out of my hold but I only held her tighter as I grounded my rock hard dick into her ass.

“Why you mad at ya man?”, I grumbled huskily into her ear causing her to shudder almost instantly as she stopped resisting for a second until the elevator arrived causing me to let her go so we can walk in.

“Dont come near me Ace”, She gritted out as she stood in the corner after repeatedly hitting the button that our floor was on.

Smirking as I licked my lips I placed my arms on either side of the wall, caging her in, “You so fucking sexy when you feisty baby”, I muttered as I grabbed her bottom lip in between my teeth and pulled a little causing her to moan lowly.

“Always tasting so damn good”, I mumbled as I began to suck on her lip causing her to push her hips into my straining dick that was begging to be released from my sweats and pushed deep inside of her.

Trailing my hands up her waist and up to the molds of her perfect, perky breasts, I didnt waste any time cupping one of them and while my other hand went down to her ass and gripped it hard.

“Tell daddy you aint mad anymore”, I grunted as she bit down on my neck making sure to leave a mark which I allowed only this once.

“Im not mad daddy”, She moaned almost instantly causing me to smirk as I gripped the sides of her hips and hiked her up causing her to instantly wrap her legs around my waist.

Just when I thought I was going to get my dick wet in this very elevator, the dinging of the bell went off followed by the doors opening.

Ignoring it, I slapped her ass hard causing her to moan but quickly pulled away at the sound of someone clearing there throat.

Looking over my shoulder, there we were faced with a elderly couple who looked at us with wide eyes and a shocked expression causing Briana to quickly hide her face in my chest as I sat her down on her feet.

“Sorry bout that ladies and gentlemen, my ladies just looking so damn sexy I couldnt wait”, I cheesed causing the old lady to gasp as Briana playfully hit my chest while stepping out of the elevator and headed to our door.

“Have a good day !”, I yelled out over my shoulder at the older couple who still stayed stuck in there position while Briana giggled and ran to our door to hide.

“Ace! They looked petrified !”, She squealed as soon as we made it into the room and quickly closed the door behind us.

Silently standing by the door I couldn’t help but smile at how beautiful she looked when she was laughing. I knew this was nothing like what Tyson and Lani had but I could see myself getting there one say with Briana. Only if she’d let me.

“You still wanna be with a nigga or what?”, I muttered as I slowly made my way over to her causing her to stop in her tracks and sigh as she dropped her eyes.

“Aceee”, She dragged out causing me to shake my head as I placed my hands on either side of her hips.

“Look at me B”, I mumbled causing her to slowly lift her head until I could see her eyes.

“You gonna hold it down for me or na B? Cause honestly, I dont do this we no girls . Shit I aint ever do girlfriends, but you are different and I wanna know if Im wasting my time or not?”, I flat out asked her not wanting to drag this on if she wasn’t feeling it. 

“Ace but what about Ty and Lani-”, She began but I quickly cut her off by shaking my head.

“B Im asking to be in a relationship with you, not you, Lani and Ty. So tell me now cause I'on wanna get in a relationship if you gonna be constantly bringing up our best friends relationship and shit. It aint our business, this is about you and I, bout Adrian and Briana, no one else”, I grumbled out in frustration causing a small smile to play across her lips which confused me.

“I like the sound of that”, She said softly causing me to raise a eyebrow in confusion.

“Huh?”

“Adrian and Briana, I like the sound of them put together”, She cheesed before throwing her arms around my neck and crashing her lips with mine.

“You think we got time for a quicky?”, I groaned as her legs wrapped around my waist.

“We got 7 minutes”, She mumbled in a breathless tone.

“Shit Imma take you to heaven and back in 7 minutes”, I smirked causing her to playfully roll her eyes before squealing as I threw her down on the bed.

No doubt it was the best 7 minutes yet.

Tyson

Once we had left the hotel, we made a quick stop off at In and Out burger where we all chowed down on some serious meals. The word of three Miami Heat players got out and we were constantly trailed by fans and paparazzi desperate to get a picture.

Airport check in went as smoothly as it could and we had finally made our way through the pack of vulture paparazzi and safely got into the private jet that was taking us home to Miami.

Usually I didnt pay much attention to the paps or worry about them to much but when Lani was with me, my senses where always one hunnid and full alert as I didnt trust no one around her.

Stepping on the Jet, Lani and the girls looked around with wide eyes and their mouths opened as they took in the scene of the Jet that belonged to us boys.

“Holy crap this is nice! We travelled coach here for what?”, Jas muttered causing J to chuckle as he wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her into him.

Usually Im not into that sappy shit and dont care to watch people all loved up and shit cause it usually made me sick but no lie I was happy for my boy J.

Forreal out of all three of us, if there was one that deserved love and happiness it would be him. J was a good bloke, he was loyal as shit and had a heart of gold and no lie any girl who ended up with him would be lucky as hell.

Jasmine seemed to make him happy as hell and anyone who could keep my boy smiling like the way he has been lately was good in my books.

As for Ace and Briana, well by the way they were humping each others legs since leaving the hotel Im guessing they fucked and made up. I had no problems with B to be honest, as long as she stayed in her place and didnt pry into mine and Lani’s relationship than we was good.

Honestly I didnt think Ace would settle any time soon, shit neither with J due to the fact that they both liked to go out and fuck around. I was right there with them until Lani made her way back into my life.

“Baby lets just try to sleep the whole flight, okay?”, Lani mumbled in a sleepy tone as she kicked her jordans off and brought her legs up on the chair so that she was cradled in a ball.

Planting my ass on one of the big lounge chairs next to her, I left out a sigh of relief as my shoulder had been killing me and all I really wanted to do was take my meds and crash out for a few hours.

“Imma pop a few painkillers, my shoulders hurting”, I muttered as I reached down and pulled out the bottle of Oxycoatin from my Miami Heat duffle bag.

“Only take two Ty”, She yawned as she rested her head on my good shoulder and kept her eyes on the bottle to make sure .

“I aint no little baby Lani”, I huffed as I poured only two pills in my palm so she wouldnt drill a nigga, before swallowing them without any water.

“Your my big baby”, She laughed lightly as she struggled to keep her eyes open. Forreal she looked hella cute right now as she struggled with herself to stay awake.

“You looking like the baby right now, come on lets go sleep on the lounge”, I chuckled as I stood up and helped her up by using my right arm. Leading her over to the lounge which was big enough to be considered a bed, she jumped onto it and moved across to the window side.

“Come on TyTy, Im so tired”, She once again yawned as I rolled my eyes at the gay ass nickname she had gave me and refused to stop using.

“Quit with the corny shit Lani”, I huffed as I climbed onto the lounge and used my good arm to cover us with the blanket because Lani’s ass was seconds from crashing.

“Dont you love me though?”, She mumbled in a sleepy tone while her eyes were closed.

“You no I do”, I muttered as she snuggled her body into mine carefully so she wouldnt hurt me. Smiling softly I nested my nose into curly hair that smelled of coconut and vanilla mixed together.

“Goodnight TyTy”, She whispered softly causing me to chuckle

“Its 1:00pm Nala”, I smirked with amusement 

“All the same to me”, She giggled in a sleepy tone.

Within minutes she was knocked out with myself following behind her not to long after.

—————————————

“Just carry her and follow me bra”, I muttered to Brock who held a small, sleeping Nalani up the stairs as I led them towards my bedroom. Usually I wouldnt ever let anyone touch her like his but I couldnt carry her due to my arm and I didnt wanna wake her up because she was hella tired. Besides Brock looked at her like a little sister so I let that play in my mind as he carried up my girl, bridal style.

Lani had been crashed out since taking off in LA, like baby girl was dead to the world that I literally checked her pulse a few times to make sure she was still breathing.

“How has she not woken up yet?”, Brock chuckled with amusement and he gently tossed her onto my California king bed causing her to frown as she stirred in her sleep.

“I'on bra, I think shes getting sick. She usually lazy as hell and always sleepy when she gets sick”, I laughed as I helped him take her shoes off and tuck her under the blankets.

“Ight walk with me”, He muttered once we had finished getting Lani in bed and made our way back downstairs towards my kitchen.

“Whats going on?”, I grumbled as I lifted up on the bench after getting myself and him a bottle of water from the fridge.

“So coach whats you to check in tomorrow during training, the team has got you your own personal physical therapist to help you keep in shape as we as help use your arm once again”, He explained causing me to nod my head as I refrained from groaning at the thought of having to work on using my arm again.

“Man this is gonna be a long year”, I sighed causing him nod his head sympathetically .

“You’ll be alright man, forreal you were made for basketball and nothing, not even a small ass injury is gonna stop you , you hear me?”, He grumbled sternly causing me to nod my head in agreement.

“Oh one more thing, they found out the name of that dickhead who drove into the bus, names Terrance Combs”.

“They catch him?”

“Na man, he hiding out but they got every cop in LA out looking for him ight?”,

“Should kept my ass there, bet I would have found him straight away”, I huffed in annoyance at the poor job the cops were doing.

“Na man you need to keep ya ass outta trouble and focus on healing”, He stated sternly causing me to mentally roll my eyes as I walked him towards the door.

“Whatever bra, I want that piece of shit to pay for this. Done lost his mind if he thinks his gonna get away with fucking up my shoulder”, I muttered causing him to chuckle as he shook his head.

“Ight, Im out. Ill see you tomorrow man, dont be late!”, He smirked while dapping me before heading off to the black SUV that brought us home from the airport.

Needing to use the bathroom, I made my way to the toilet downstairs and quickly done my business before going off to find my packet of cigarettes.

Finding a packet of Malbouro Gold in my office, I quickly lit one up and let out a satisfied groan as I sat back in my large, leather office chair and kicked my feet up on the oversized oakwood desk,

The urge to pour myself a glass of whiskey was there but I pushed the thought to the back of my mind as I desperately wanted to stay clean and sober for Lani’s sake.

“Well, well, well if it isnt the King in all his glory”, I heard a icy voice muttered causing me to become tense as I lifted my gaze to the entrance of my office.

There standing in a dress that was way to short to even be considered a dress stood Adrianna. The hoe who who I had living here before I got Lani back.

“See now you’ve just gone and fucked up my whole mood”, I grumbled as I place the cigarette in my lips and made my way to my bar that I had set up in the office. I know I just debated with myself not to drink but this hoe just had to come and kill my vibe and now I needed it to keep calm with otherwise I’d kill her right now.

“Aww come on King, dont act like your dick didnt just jump at the sight of me”, She purred causing me to choke on my drink as I tried not to laugh at how desperately she tried to sound sexy.

“Did the opposite actually, ma dicks never been so soft before”, I smirked causing her to glare at me for only a minute before licking her lips and smiling.

“Dont tell me your still hung up on that young, inexperienced pussy?”, She chuckled bitterly causing me to laugh at how jealous she sounded.

Licking my lips I brought my glass up to them, not once breaking eye contact with her was I took a gulp than proceeded to make my way back to my desk and sit down.

“Why you here Adrianna?”, I sighed out in a bored tone just as she began to walk further into my office until she was right on the other side of my desk.

“I came here so you can fuck me Tyson”, She stated simply causing me to throw my head back at laugh at how much this chick was a hoe. 

“My girls right upstairs”, I chuckled as I wiped away the few tears from laughing so hard as she wore a irritated expression.

“I can be quiet”, She moaned lowly as she parted her legs and slowly rubbed her hand on the inner side of her thigh. Licking my lips at the sight, I raised my eyes until they found hers as she was already watching my reaction.

“I aint fucking you Adrianna”, I grumbled lowly causing her to smirk as her hand moved further up until she started to stroke her pussy that was now in clear due to her not wearing any thong.

“You sure about that daddy, you dont miss fucking me on this very desk? Legs spread out and you burying yourself as deep as you can?”, She muttered in a low tone causing me to bring my glass back up so I could take another swing.

“My girls upstairs”, I repeated just as her fingers disappeared into her swollen pussy that was glistering due to how wet she was.

“Your girl?”, She breathed out as she moaned

“Yer my girl”, I muttered as I watched her continue to finger fuck herself.

“Oh yes, Lani right?”, She moaned out causing me gritt my teeth out in anger.

“THE FUCK I TELL YOU ABOUT SAYING HER NAME?”, I roared as I slammed my fist of my good arm down on the desk causing her to jump back before quickly recollecting herself.

“Oh please King, you act like that girl is gods gift. News flash nigga she isnt and you were about to prove it, a few seconds longer and you would have been fucking me on this desk while your precious Lani was sleeping upstairs!”, She yelled out causing me to laugh out loudly.

“You thought I was gonna fuck you? Oh hell na girl I was just enjoying you making a damn fool of yourself. Standing here fingering yourself like the hoe you are. Aint even get me the slightest bit hard”, I laughed even harder when I noticed Lani leaning against the door silently laughing to herself.

“WHAT?! You stupid mother fucker ! You aint shit nigga!”, She screamed out cause both Lani and I to erupt in laughter which caught the attention of Adrianna who turned around and glared at Lani.

“What them eyes Adrianna, dont be looking at my girl like that”, I gritted out as Lani walked over to the desk with a smirk on her face that only pissed Adrianna off more.

“Ty whats this whore doing in our house?”, Lani yawned out as she came around the desk before jumping on top of it with her back to Adrianna who was shooting death stares.

“Your house?”, Adrianna spat out with attitude causing Lani to look over her shoulder with a bored expression.

“Yes bitch, my house that I live in with MY man”, She chuckled before looking back over at me with a tired looked.

“Get rid of the trash so we can go to bed?”, She sighed causing me to chuckle at all the shade that she was throwing.

“You heard my lady, get the stepping”, I laughed at Adrianna who was red in the face and looked like she was about to murder someone. I knew she wasnt dumb enough to do anything though so I just sat back and enjoyed the show that was playing out in front of me.

“Mark my words King, this wont be the last time you hear from me, okay? Your going to regret it, you and that little slut of yours”, She spat out causing Lani to roll her eyes as she slipped off the desk and stepped back before she began to lift her shirt above her head, throwing it to the side.

Next she slipped her shorts off, leaving her in a red lace bra and matching string thong that showed off her perfect round ass. Licking my mouths, I instantly felt my dick jump as my eyes roamed my babies perfect body that was now on display.

“Unless you want to watch me fuck my man, I suggest you leave now”, Lani calmly said as Adrianna stood there with wide eyes and a mouth hung open not believing Lani had it in her to do such a bold thing.

Shaking her head out of her shock, her embarrassed look quickly turned into a glare as yelled out in frustration and turned around, marching her way out of my house making sure to slam the door hard behind her.

Turning my attention back on Lani only to find her grabbing her clothes and quickly putting them back on causing me to frown.

“Why you getting dress baby?”, I raised a eyebrow as I quickly stood up and made my way over to her only for her to back up a bit.

“Not right now Ty”, She sighed causing me to frown in confusion.

“I dont no how she got in Lani, I aint tell her to come”, I quickly explained, afraid she might think that I somehow told her to come over or something.

“I know you didnt you big fool, I just got a really bad headache Ty and I think I have a fever too”, She sighed before pouting and caving her small body into my chest as I chuckled at how much she acted like a baby sometimes.

“You know you suppose to be looking after ya man, right?”

“I’ll look after you, if you look after me?”, She cheesed with hopeful eyes and I just chuckled and nodded my head.

“Come on lets go to bed”, I yawned while wrapping my arm around her neck and pulling her into me as we began to walk out of the office and up the stairs to my bed room.

“Ty I hate this house”, She mumbled lowly causing me to frown.

“The fuck? Why?”, I grumbled although I knew exactly why.

“You had that hoe living here Ty and god knows how many other groupies you’ve brought here or no where you live”, She huffed with jealously laced in her voice causing me to smirk.

“Ill get you a new house”, I stated simply causing her to roll her eyes as she jumped on the bed.

“I didnt mean that you fool, I meant lets just live in my apartment?”,

“No”, I grumbled as I slid in behind her and got comfortable on my pillows.

“What why not? You dont wanna live with me?”, She mumbled lowly with a pout.

“I wanna live with you Lani just not in a apartment thats the size of my bedroom, fuck that”, I mumbled as I turned on the plasma screen that hung from the roof in front of my bed and switched over the channel to ESPN.

“Hey ! Its a nice apartment you shit head”, She huffed causing me to smirk as I kept my attention on the screen.

“Shut up and come sleep with ya man, we’ll talk bout it later”, I yawned as I laced my arm around her small waist and pulled her into me.

Yawning just after me, her eyes got droopy and once again I was watching my baby girl as she feel asleep snuggled close beside me.

Smiling softly, I lent down and kissed her hair before falling asleep moments after.

Here’s the Emma Watson’s speech on UN ambassador, please tell me how you dont love this girl?

“Today we are launching a campaign HeForShe. I am reaching out to you because we need your help. We must try to mobilize as many men and boys as possible to be advocates for change. We don’t just want to talk about it. We want to try and make sure it’s tangible. I was appointed as Goodwill Ambassador for UN Women 6 months ago.

The more I spoke about feminism, the more I realized that fighting for women’s rights has too often become synonymous with man-hating. If there is one thing I know for certain is that this has to stop. For the record, feminism by definition is the belief that men and women should have equal rights and opportunities. It is the theory of political, economic and social equality of the sexes.

When I was 8, I was called bossy because I wanted to direct a play for our parents. At 15, my girlfriends didn’t want to join sports teams because they didn’t want to appear masculine. At 18, my male friends were unable to express their feelings.

I decided that I was a feminist. This seemed uncomplicated to me. But my recent research has shown me that feminism has become an unpopular word. Women are choosing not to identify as feminists. Apparently, [women’s expression is] seen as too strong, too aggressive, anti-men, unattractive.

Why has the word become such an unpopular one? I think it is right I am paid the same as my male counterparts. I think it is right that I should make decisions about my own body. I think it is right that women be involved on my behalf in the policies and decisions that affect my life. I think it is right that socially, I am afforded the same respect as men.

But sadly, I can say that there is no one country in the world where all women can expect to see these rights. No country in the world can yet say that they achieved gender equality. These rights are considered to be human rights but I am one of the lucky ones.

My life is a sheer privilege because my parents didn’t love me less because I was born a daughter. My school did not limit me because I was a girl. These influences are the gender equality ambassadors that made me who I am today. They may not know it but they are the feminists needed in the world today. We need more of those.

It is not the word that is important. It is the idea and the ambition behind it because not all women received the same rights I have. In fact, statistically, very few have.

In 1997, Hillary Clinton made a famous speech in Beijing about women’s rights. Sadly, many that she wanted to change are still true today. Less than 30% of the audience were male. How can we effect change in the world when only half of it is invited to participate in the conversation?

Men, I would like to give this opportunity to extend your formal invitation. Gender equality is your issue, too. To date, I’ve seen my father’s role as a parent being valued less by society. I’ve seen young men suffering from illness, unable to ask for help for fear it will make them less of a man. I’ve seen men fragile and insecure by what constitutes male success. Men don’t have the benefits of equality, either.

We don’t want to talk about men being imprisoned by gender stereotypes but I can see that they are. When they are free, things will change for women as a natural consequence. If men don’t have to be aggressive, women won’t be compelled to be submissive. If men don’t need to control, women won’t have to be controlled.

Both men and women should feel free to be strong. It is time that we all see gender as a spectrum instead of two sets of opposing ideals. We should stop defining each other by what we are not and start defining ourselves by who we are. We can all be freer and this is what HeForShe is about. It’s about freedom. I want men to take up this mantle so their daughters, sisters and mothers can be free from prejudice but also so their sons have permission to be vulnerable and human, too and in doing so, be a more true and complete version of themselves.

You might think: who is this Harry Potter girl? What is she doing at the UN? I’ve been asking myself at the same thing. All I know is that I care about this problem and I want to make this better. And having seen what I’ve seen and given the chance, I feel my responsibility to say something. Edmund Burke said all that is need for the forces of evil to triumph is for good men and women to do nothing

In my nervousness for this speech and my moment of doubt, I told myself: if not me, who? If not now, when? You have the opportunity here. If you believe in equality, I implore you: we must strive for a united world but the good news is we have a platform. It is called he for she. I invite you to step forward, to be seen and I ask yourself: if not me, who? If not now, when? Thank you.”

Why Dirk Was Not Abusive

This is something I see in the DirkJake tag and it upsets me to the point of feeling physically sick. Made worse by the fact that the group of people that are most vocal with this statement treat it like their theory on the subject is 100% canon and use it to insult and shame those that disagree with them.

I originally intended to make this a longer post, taking each argument and counterpointing them, and I’ve been working on it a bit at a time, but the other day I presented a shortened version of one of my main points in someone’s submit, and it made me realize that the short version was not actually all that short. So I’m going to post this much info, with the acknowledgement that it does not cover everything, and if someone wants to, they are free to bring up points or quotes from canon that they feel prove otherwise, and I will then present my argument on that subject.

Keep a few things in mind:

1) I am not trying to vilify Jake. If it seems like I am blaming him more in this post, it is merely due to the scope of the argument. Both Dirk and Jake made assholes of themselves, in my opinion.

2) You do not have to 100% agree with me. If I seem a bit angry, it is because people thinking that only their analysis is valid makes me more angry than I’d already be because I am sensitive about this subject (I’ve been through emotional abuse myself). No one can be 100% certain about a relationship that we didn’t even see while it was going on.

3) This argument was presented to prove that Jake’s avoidance of Dirk in canon was not due to abuse. So that is the area of canon that was concentrated on.

Keep reading

Rules: Once you’ve been tagged you’re supposed to write a note with 92 truths about you. At the end choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you : 

I was tagged by commanderbellarke. thanks to my fellow slytherin (:

what was your: 


last drink: coffee
last phone call: my mom
last text message: my friend (trevor)
last song you listened to: colors by halsey
last time you cried: idk like 3 weeks maybe a month ago?

have you ever:

dated someone twice: nope
been cheated on: nope
kissed someone and regretted it: omg lol yes i was at a party and wanted to kiss someone cause i was drunk and kinda pissed at my crush for not liking me? so i kissed this gr 12 i didnt even know and he ended up being such a skeevy guy who followed me around and kept putting his arm around me and even though i was so out of it i said stop and dint want him around but he kept fucking being with me ugh i regret that
lost someone special: no
been depressed: maybe?
been drunk and thrown up: no im v proud actually
list three favourite colours: green, black, and pink

in the last year have you:


made a new friend: yes
fallen out of love: no
laughed until you cried: yes
met someone who changed you: yes
found out who your true friends are: yes
found out someone who was talking about you: yes
kissed anyone on your fb friends list: yeah it was that aforementioned guy if he counts cause he added me the next morning cause he is a creep

general:

how many people on your fb friends do you know in real life: mostly all of them
do you have any pets: one dog named decker 
do you want to change your name: nah
what did you do for your last birthday: lol nothing is that bad cause i turned 16 and did absolutely nothing
what time did you wake up today: 1 30 ish
what were you doing at midnight last night: pretty sure i was on tumblr
name something you cannot wait for: probably to get a job because i need money
last time you saw your mother: like an hour ago
what are you listening to right now: 240 by modern baseball?
have you ever talked to a person named tom: probably
what’s getting on your nerves right now:  by goddamn friend who sucks and also the dude i like
blood type: idk 

nickname: madi, mads, my parents call me maddie-b or madelena 

relationship status: single
zodiac sign: taurus
pronouns: she/her
favourite tv show: the 100 or friends 
tattoos: no
right or left: right
first surgery: never had surgery?
first piercing: my ears when i was like 8
first best friend: kyra or grace 
first sport you joined: horseback riding or dance or soccer
first vacation: barbados i think? 
first pair of trainers: i dont know lol 

right now:

eating: nothing 
drinking: nothing 
i’m about to:  text trevor
listening to: the sounds my computer is making
waiting for: trevor to respond
want kids: no not right now at least jesus 
get married: yes definitely but not right now
career: none

which is better:

lips or eyes: lips
hugs or kisses: ksses
shorter or taller: taller
older or younger: older
romantic or spontaneous: spontaneous
nice stomach or nice arms: arms yass
sensitive or loud: sensitive
hook up or relationship: relationship
trouble maker or hesitant: idk whatever

have you ever:

kissed a stranger: yep
drank hard liquor: yepper
sex on the first date: no
broke someone’s heart: i think
had your own heart broken: no
been arrested: no
cried when someone died: no
fallen for a friend: yeah 

do you believe in:

yourself: nah not really but not like in a sad depressing way
miracles: yeah i guess lol
love at first sight:  yes except it isn’t really love but i still believe in it
heaven: idk,  not really, but maybe there is heaven
santa claus: no lol i did up until grade 6
kiss on the first date: yesssss
angels: not really but i like the idea of them and if they were real that would be super cool no yeah maybe i do

i’m tagging: creampuff-clone i-mthebadguy meganhounam clintbarthon lovuble stopmurphy charliehellaradbury lartenluver nobleclarke sassymurph plsgivememoney navywitch nudivagant punkassaris wittywallflower rainknee johnmurfucker fearofpop mvrphamy mvrphytrash murphy-on-earthy killmegraceful assholemurphy 5amcoffeeandsmokes murphamyqueen

IF ANYONE ELSE SEES THIS AND WANTS TO DO IT, TAG ME I WANT TO SEE (:

Chapter Twelve

Nalani:

Its been a week since we’ve left New York and come home to Miami. Also a week since Tyson and I have spoken to one another. 

He left for LA two days ago and is due back either today or tomorrow, I wasn’t a hundred percent sure due to the silence between us.

The few days he was in Miami after coming back from NY, Ty stayed at my place but we played the silent treatment card on each other like the childish kids we are.

I wouldn’t be lying when I say that I miss him. Yes his been here but its not the same when you cant touch him or speak to him and not to mention we haven’t had sex causing me to literally feel like Im on heat.

Instead I occupied my time with school and catching up on the classes and assessments that I had missed out on due to my mini vacation. Going back to college was everything I hoped it wouldn’t be. Due to coming out in public with Ty in NY everyone knew about us know and campus was now filled with rumours, curious glances and snide remarks.

I was glad the end of the week had finally come and today was officially declared chill day. Briana, Jasmine and Sean were all chilling at my place watching movies and chowing down on some Chinese take away even though it was only 10:00 in the morning.

“Man I feel like Im having a food baby”, I groaned as I stretched out my sock cover feet and threw my legs across Brianas lap while laying back and rubbing my bloated belly.

“Damn you at least 4 months”, Sean stated as he threw his head back and laughed as if it was the best joke ever.

“Your a fool, this right here is at least 5 months”, I chuckled while poking my stomach causing us all to burst up in laughter.

“Man whose idea again was it to get Chinese at this time of the day?”, Jas groaned as the laughter died down.

“Seans!”, Briana and I yelled simultaneously as he huffed narrowed his eyes at us.

“Hey, hey, hey! Dont be blaming a nigga, I didnt see none of y’all abject to chinese food, ight?”, He grumbled as he flipped us off causing us to playfully role our eyes at his saltiness.

“Whatever lets just say that was the first and LAST time we ever eat Chinese this early”, I mumbled in a sleepy tone as I was exhausted after eating all that damn food.

“Fortune cookie time!”, Briana squealed as she jumped off the couch sending my legs to the floor while she retrieved the small brown paper bag on the coffee table that held the cookies.

Passing them around, we all brought them into the middle and softly knocked them together in a ‘cheers’ gesture before one by one opening them up.

“Sean you go first”, Briana instructed causing him to narrow his eyes at her as he hated her bossiness .

“Ight lets see, ‘You will live a long life of endless pussy’”, He read out in a serious tone causing us to all fall back on the couches and laugh at his lame ass.

“Gimme that you fool”, I chuckled as I snatched the small piece of paper from his hands and read over it before clearing my throat and reading it out loud, “Continue on this path and your penis shall fall off”.

Like a flash of lighting Sean jumped up and started his torture of tickling my stomach causing me to half laugh and half squeal as I begged the girls to help.

Before you knew it there was a full outright tickle fest / pillow fight that erupted in the middle of my lounge room as Sean sat back on the couches with a cocky smirk as he watched on.

“Man I gotta be the luckiest nigga forreal!”, Sean sigh with satisfaction as he rested his hands behind his head and sunk back into the plush leather couch.

“What the hell is your crazy ass talking about?”, Briana playfully mugged as she jumped on his lap, kneeing him straight in his manhood causing him to groan out in pain.

“No more babies for you”, I sung out as Jas placed her hand over her mouth so she wouldn’t laugh .

“That aight right!”, He squeaked in a girly tone causing us all to throw our heads back and laugh.

“Sowwwwwwi !”, Briana cooed in a baby voice causing him to mean mug her as he pulled her hair playfully.

Once Sean could breath again, we all settled into a comfortable silence as the air conditioner chilled us against the boiling hot weather that Miami presented us with for the past few days.

“I swear if this heat keeps up we are hitting the beach tomorrow”, Briana groaned as she shed her shirt off leaving her in a sports bra and shorts.

“Forreal, I cant even get my hair done it keeps sweating out”, Jas sighed in frustration as Sean’s eyes stayed glued to Brianas rack while licking his lips.

“Careful there playboy you don’t wanna catch no fade from Brianas man”, I smirked causing Sean to huff as he averted his eyes away from Briana while she wore a look of pride at the mention of Adrian being her man.

“Speakin of men, you speak to ya boy? News is saying it’s a broken collarbone”, Sean muttered causing my head to snap up and look at him with confusion.

“Wait what are you talking about and who?”, Jas asked with wide eyes as we all sat up on the couches and turned our full attention to Sean.

“Y’all fucking with me right?”, He nervously chuckled as he looked over us all.

“Sean !”, Briana yelled causing him to flinch than look back at us with wide eyes.

“Damn y’all aint heard? You didn’t watch or listen to the news?”, He questioned as his eyes swept over everyone again.

“No we didn’t now tell us!”, I stressed as I felt my heart beat pick up. I knew whatever he was about to reveal was not going to end well at all.

“Man,  a truck ran a red light and slammed straight into the team bus after the game. Only serious injury was Tyson,  they saying broken collar bone and ribs but they aint too sure yet”, Sean explained as my eyes became bleary and my breathing picked up.

“W-h-hat ? Tyson? As in my Tyson?”, I cried out as tears began falling down my face rapidly.

“Its okay Nala, breath girl, breath”, I heard Jas say softly as she rubbed my back trying to calm my rapid breathing down that had now turned into hyperventilating. 

“You didn’t think to tell us early idiot?”, Briana exploded causing Sean to shrug his shoulders in confusion.

“I thought you guys knew! Its all over the news, besides I thought someone would have called you by now”, He stressed causing the tears to pour. He was right, why hadn’t anyone called me ?

“You’d think we’d be sitting here laughing and shit if we knew?”, I heard Briana ask sarcastically

“You know, I thought it was kinda weird that y’all were having fun and not worrying and shit”, Sean casually causing me to be torn between hitting him or laughing with him.  

Shaking my head I started frantically looking around for my phone and realized it wasn’t in the lounge room causing me to jump from the couch and run to my bedroom in search for the device.

I could hear the others following behind me as I threw my bed sheets and pillows on the floor as my eyes scanned the large bed.

“Here Lani ! Its here!”, Briana yelled from inside my bathroom as she rushed out and handed me the phone. With shaky hands I fumbled to put in my pass code and was immediately greeted with a few missed calls from both Remy and Brock.

“Shit, shit , shit !”, I cursed as I wiped my face from the tears and held my phone to my ear desperate to reach either one of them.

Calling both over ten times, I scream out in frustration as Jasmine and Briana tried their luck trying to reach Jeremiah and Adrian but both their phones where turned off.

“I need to go”, I mumbled mostly to myself  as I shook my head trying to get my thoughts together although my mind was running a mile a minute.

“Just relax Nala, neither him or anyone died his just got a few injuries”, Sean explained trying to calm me down although it didn’t help.

“I don’t care, I have to go. I need to go to LA”, I stressed as I rushed to my closet and pulled out a suitcase, throwing it on my bed.

“Im coming with you than Nala. No way in hell am I letting you go alone”, Briana stated sternly as she made her way to my draws and started to pulling out my panties and bras and placing them in my suitcase for me.

“Me too! Im coming too!”, Jas insisted causing me to look up at them both with teary eyes.

“You guys dont have to do this, you dont have to come”, I assured them although it fell on deaf ears as they both instantly started to shake their heads.

“We are coming girl, Im gonna rush home and pack will meet back here in two hours?”, Briana asked causing me to nod my head.

“Ill go book your tickets for you guys, Id come Nala but I aint got anyone to look after the shop for me”, Sean stressed as he rub and hand down his face causing me to softly smile.

Dropping the items I was holding into the suitcase I walked over and gave him a big hug before pulling away and opening my arm for the girls to come in for a group hug.

“Thank you guys, I love you all so much”, I sighed causing them all to smile and hug me back tightly.

“Ight team sexy, hands in. Sexy on 3 ! I, 2, 3,”, Sean yelled as we all placed a hand in the middle.

“SEXY!”, We all yelled together causing us to all bust up in laughter .

“I can believe we just agreed to that”, I chuckled causing them all to shake their head and make their way out to get ready for our last minute trip to LA.

Once I heard the front door close, I rushed to the TV in my room and quickly switched it on and turning the channel until I found the news. The crash scene was already on the screen with a reporter standing in front of it as she re capped the accident.

“Police have reported that the driver of the truck that ploughed into the Miami Heats bus last night was in fact a drunken LA Lakers fan who was enraged that Lakers suffered a bad loss last night against Miami. The Heat one by an impressive 121 -82. Witnesses at the game stated that they heard the driver drunken slur that ‘The heat were going to pay’ as well as a number of other threats”.

A picture of the drunken driver came up on the TV screen causing my heart to stop all most instantly. My step father.

There he was, in all his drunkin glory my step father Terrance Combs the man that my drug addict of a mother wed. The same man who beat me religious for the last two years.

The same mother fucker who caused me into premature labour due to those very same beatings which caused me to lose my son. Tysons son.

And now that psychotic of a man nearly killed my Tyson. My heart.

My enrage thoughts were knocked out at the reported started to speak again, “As reported before fortunately no lives were taken last night and the worst of the injuries was unfortunately to Miami Heats Star player Tyson KING Brown, who has suffered a broken collar bone, 4 broken ribs and 2 broken fingers.  The question that is on everyone’s minds right now is ,  ‘Will Tyson be able to play again?’ , stay tuned with more details from one of the biggest stories to hit NBA since Michael Jordans second retirement, Im Alice Walters and this is 9 news”.

Feeling overwhelmed by the recent events, I fell back on the bed and dropped my head in my hands as my mind went over everything that’s gone down. 

From ignoring each other, the accident and now knowing my deranged step father was to blame felt like I’d just be punched in the gut a thousand times over.

I needed Tyson. I needed him to hold me in his arms and tell me everything was going to be okay. To tell me that it was just me and him, like he always does. But his not here and his not okay and I know he needs me so much right now .

I cant only imagine what’s going through his mind right now, I knew he wasn’t okay and I knew no one would be able to help him like I could.

Shaking my head, I decided to stop feeling sorry for myself and get up and go to be there for the one person I loved the most. Feeling a little better, I made my way back inside my room just as the sound as my phone started to go off.

My heart started to beat frantically as I raced to my phone and quickly swiped it open.

“Hello?”, I rushed out in a breathless tone.

“Lani?”, Brocks voice boomed through the phone causing me to sigh out I relief .

“Brock? Shit Brock, tell me his okay?”, I stressed as I felt the sting of tears prickling my eyes.

“Physically wise, his aright but mentally? Shit you know what his like Lani. His completely gone into a black stage and now doctors are questioning his mental state. If this gets out Lani, shits gonna hit the fan”, I heard him grumble in a stressed out tone causing me to panic.

“Brock Im catching a flight In a hour. Hold them off until than, I need to speak with him, calm him down”, I rushed out as I began my frantic packing again.

“Ill see what we can do, hopefully he will calm down a little once we tell him your coming. He needs you Nala”,

“I know, B. Ill be there in a few hours”

“Okay send me your flight details and Ill have someone come pick you up”

“Okay, thank you and Brock?”

“Yes?”

“Tell him I love him okay?”

“I got you Lani, we’ll see you soon”.

Hanging up with Brock, I finished off packing and decided on a quick shower as I waited for the others to come back.

Stepping into the cold water,  my mind went over everything Brock had said. No one knew about Tysons mental state besides the close people in his circle and myself.

Hell even we didn’t know the full details of exactly what was wrong with him as he always refused to get any sort of medical help. Now if these doctors start to pry god knows what they will unravel and expose.

Shaking my head of the negative thoughts, I quickly proceeded to wash my hair as I tried to think positive.

“LANI!”, Brianas voice boomed as she made her way into my room.

“In here!”, I yelled back just as she made her way into the bathroom and opened the shower door, getting a full few.

“Nice rack, Me and Jas got our stuff we are ready when you are”, She stated as she placed her hand in the water and gave me a confused look at the feel of the cold water.

“You do realize your showering in freezing water right?”, She asked with a raised eyebrow.

“I don’t like hot water”, I shrugged as I turned it off and pointed to the towel so she could pass it to me.

“I swear your full of surprises, now hurry that pretty ass up”, She chuckled as she wrapped the towel around my body before handing another one for my hair.

“I spoke to Brock, Ty’s not doing too good”, I sighed as I followed her back into my room and went in search for some clothes.

“You cant expect him to be, god knows how long his gonna be off for, just the thought alone must be killing him”, Briana said softly as I nodded in total agreement. Basketball was the only other thing Tyson loved and now he would for sure not be able to play for the rest of the season, if ever.

“I just wanna be there for him B”, I sighed causing Briana to look at me with soft eyes.

“You will be Nala, your flying across the country for him. A few hours and you’ll be with him”, She assured causing me to feel a bit better almost instantly .

Making my way to the closet I rummaged through my clothes until I found a simple pair of jeans and sweater and quickly threw them on. Not bothering with any make up, I tied my hair in a messy bun and did a quickly glance at my outfit in the mirror.

"Sean is here, his got the tickets and we gotta get going like now”, Jas stressed as she made her way into the room while flapping around plane tickets.

“Come on niggas, Imma drive you down to the airport”, Sean yelled from inside the lounge room causing us to all grab our bags and make our way outside to Seans awaiting BMW.

Taking less than 30 minutes to get to the airport, Sean helped us with our bags as we rushed through towards check in area knowing fully well we had just minutes before they start letting the plane board.

Thankfully we made it just in time after a exhausting marathon through the busy airport. We hugged Sean goodbye just as they started to board and followed behind the flight attendant as she took us to our seats.

Once we got settled, my nerves kicked in once again at the thought of going back to LA. I promised myself when I left there that I would never return and now Im on the first flight back.

Sensing my nervousness, Briana held my hand and sent me a reassuring smile as the plane started to take off, within minutes I felt myself fall into a deep sleep.

——————————————————

Once we landed safely we collected our luggage and was currently sitting in the back of a black SUV as Remy drove us to hotel to drop off the girls before taking me to the hospital that Tyson was currently at.

Once we got to the Four Season, Remy and Jas jumped out as Briana lineaged back and looked at me softly with worry in her eyes.

“Lani is there something you need to tell me about Tyson?”, She suddenly asked causing me to look around nervously.

When I met Briana and Sean I didn’t tell them about Tyson and mine’s past. Instead I gave them some bullshit fairytale life that they believed. I knew after Briana met Tyson and witnessed the way we were with each other she knew there was more to the story.

“I don’t know what you want me to say”, I stated lowly as I felt tears begin to swell.

“Lani, you’re my best friend and I love you but I know your hiding something from me and I want you too know you can tell me anything and I would never judge you”, She assured me

“Oh B, there so much you don’t know . Right now I need to get to Ty, I promise you I’ll lay it all out tonight if your still willing to listen?”

“Of course baby, Im here whenever your ready Nala”, She muttered as she pulled me into a hug and held me tight.

“I love you B”, I sighed .

“I love you too princess, know go get your man”, She smiled as she opened the door and slid out just as Remy jumped back into the drivers seat.

We drove in silence for a while but it was soon broken as Remy turned the music down and looked back at me from the review mirror.

“You good Nala?”, He ask sincerely causing me to smile softly although I knew the smile didn’t entirely reach my eyes.

“Is he freaking out?”, I mumbled avoiding his original question.

“They had to restrain him. He kept pulling the IV out and cussing the doctors, his been asking for you since his woken. The doctors have had to sedate him a few times”, Remy grumbled, stress evident in his voice causing my chest to tighten.

“We haven’t spoken since New York”, I confessed as tears ran down my cheeks, the guilt kicking in at full force. What if he died and I didnt get the chance to tell him I loved him? 

“I know. He told us and when he woke up he freaked out. Said you were mad at him and that you’d most likely run away while he was in hospital”, He admitted causing me to frown .

When was my crazy man going to get it through his stubborn head that I was not going to leave him? 

As if reading my thoughts Remy simply shook his head, “Give him a break Nala, you left him once so his just scared you’d go again”, He muttered although I knew he didnt mean it in a hurtful way I couldn’t help but take it to heart because it was true.

I did leave him once before. I left him for two whole years so of course the poor guy was fearful Id do it again.

“Ahh shit Nala I didn’t mean it like that”, Remy sighed when he noticed my silence and tears.

“No, no your right Rem. Im not going anywhere though, as long as he doesn’t cheat on me than Im not leaving him.”, I stated confidently causing him to smile in approval.

The rest of the car ride was in silence but the silence soon ended when we arrived to the hospital only to be greeted with hundreds of news teams, paparazzi and fans.

“Stay inside until I come around, Brock’s coming out now”, Remy ordered as he jumped out of the drivers seat and pushed his way to the other side of the car and over to my door.

True to his word, Brock appeared out of no where and sent a head nod to Remy who instantly opened my door and helped me out. Wrapped up in between the two men I kept my head down as questions were thrown my way and lights flashed so bright it was blinding.

“Exclusive footage of Miami Heats start player Tyson Browns Long time girlfriend Nalani Carter has just flown in from Miami and has made her way straight to the hospital to support her partner”, I heard one of the new reporters announce in front of a camera crew.

How the hell did they know my full name and also that Ive been with Tyson for years?

“They do there research”, Brock answered my unspoken question as we made it inside and away from the media circus.

“Have they been here all day? Cause its crazy out there”, I muttered in disgust as I followed behind them towards the private part of the hospital.

“Yep, been here since the accident”, Brock grumbled obviously annoyed with all the attention that was pointed at Tyson.

“Is he awake?”

“Na they had to sedate him a few hours ago so he should be awaking up soon”, Brock answered again in annoyance as he gritted his jaw at the mention of them sedating Tyson.

Just as we made in to the floor Tyson was on, a nurse rushed out of the room in a panic causing me to flinch, “His awake again and not impressed !”, The nurse rushed out as she grabbed the phone and called in the doctor.

“Tysons room?”, I asked as we began to pick up our walking which turned into a jog down the hall.

“Yep, better get in there”, Remy stated as he blocked the nurses from entering and Brock opened the door and pushed me before closing the door behind me.

“Get this shit off me! Imma fuckin kill the next person to sedate me”, Tyson yelled in a broken yet raging tone as I opened his curtain which caused him to stop short and look at me with wide eyes.

Standing in silence I willed myself not to shed any tears but failed miserably. IV’s hooked up to his arms as bandages and a sling covered his left arm. His shirtless torso showcased his bruised ribs and the nasty gash on his forehead that was stitched up caused my chest to tighten.

“Lani?”, He questioned in small tone causing the tears to fall more rapidly.

His eyes where as black as night, the stress lines on his forehead causing him to look older than his age and the pain that was etched across his face was enough to break me.

“Oh Ty baby”, I cried as I dropped my bag on the floor and crawled on the bed caving in his chest making sure not to touch the left side of his body.

“Shit Lani, Im so glad you’re here”, He muttered as wrapped his arm around my body pulling me closer as he repeatedly kissed my head.

“Im so sorry this happened to you Ty”, I cried into his bare chest as he rubbed my back.

“You came”, He stated rather than asking.

“Of course I came, you needed me and whenever you need me Id be there for you Ty”, I stated truthfully causing him to let out a sigh of relief.

“I cant play any more Lani, what the fuck am I suppose to do now ?”, He stressed causing me to pull away and look up at him with sad eyes.

“Ty the season nearly over, you can have a come back next year”

“And what happens when this mother fuckers tell me I cant play ever again? That I cant use my arm?”

“Oh baby, Im sure it isn’t that bad. You just need some time to recover and soon you’ll be brand new”, I assured him causing him to flop his head back on the bed and close his eyes.

“I missed you so much”, He mumbled suddenly after sitting in silence for a while.

“I miss you too baby, I hate when we arent talking”, I sighed as I nested my head in his chest trying to get closer if possible.

“I honestly didnt think you’d come. I know how you hate LA”

“As soon as I heard what happened I was on the first flight Ty, you know I’ll always be there for you no matter what”.

“You know I love you right?”, He muttered softly causing me to smile

“I love you too”,

We stayed in silence for awhile just the steady sound of the heart monitor beeping although the rapid beating of Tysons heart seemed to be way too fast, I blamed it on his ‘Black stage’ that he was currently in.

Brocks word echoed in my head reminding me that the doctors were now most likely running tests on Tyson and would uncover something that Tyson had been trying to avoid.

As if on queue a knock came on the door before opening up and revealing  a doctor in a white coat and glasses made his way in as his eyes scanned the clip board he was holding.

“Hello, you must be the famous ‘Lani’”?, The doctor asked as he pushed his glasses up a little before placing his pen in this top pocket.

“Uh yes that’s me”, I muttered feeling the heat rise to my cheeks.

“Well Im glad your here, this is the calmest we’ve seen him since he arrived last night”, The doctor informed me as he his held his hand out for me to shake, “My name is Dr Morgan”.

“Nice too meet you”, I smiled as I shook his hand.

“Now that you’re here and we’ve got both yours and Tysons attention I think its time we go over a few things?”,

“Sounds good”, I agreed as I sent Tyson a reassuring look although he wore a look of annoyance and anger towards the doctor.

“Tyson lets start off with you broken collar bone and ribs, Ive looked over the xrays and scans and it looks like with a good amount of rest and rehabilitation you should make a full recovery”.

“So he will be able to play basketball again?”, I asked the one and only question Ty cared about.

“This season? Deferentially not but he should be good to go by the next season, as long as he does no more damage and attends all his rehab he will be able to play once again”, He reassured us causing both Tyson and myself to sigh out in relief.

“Thank god”, I muttered as I turned to Tyson who wore a blank expression, “See baby, its going to be alight”, I smiled softly causing him remove his had from around my shoulder and rub it down his face as he lent back into the bed.

“Now we move onto other matters. When Tyson arrived his behavioural pattern sparked some concerns therefore we had to run some additional tests. I recognised the symptoms but I needed to be sure before I made any claims”.

Before he could continue Brock, Remy, Adrian and Jeremiah came through the door giving Tyson and head nod as they took seats around the bed.

“Sorry guys this is a private matter”, The Dr began but Tyson quickly cut him off.

“They family, they stay”, Ty grumbled causing the Dr to nod and continue.

“From what we gather and from speaking with Tyson’s psychologist back in Miami we were able to determine exactly what it is that you have”,

“Wait you spoke to his psychologist? Isnt that a breach of confidentiality?”, I questioned as I sat up not pleased with knowing the fact that they are giving out his personal information.

“Actually Tyson gave us permission while he was throwing a tantrum besides when a issue involves a clients mental health confidentiality does not apply”.

“Fire her”, Tyson stated simply to Remy who nodded in agreement.

“Just tell us what you found out doc”, Brock grumbled with impatience’s.

“Tyson it looks like you not only suffer from PTSD - Post traumatic stress disorder aswell as also beening diagnosed with Bipolar 1 and guessing by the fact that it isn’t in your file you were unaware of both disorders?”.

It felt like the wind had been knocked out of me. I knew Tyson suffered from some sort of mental health problem but hearing a title put to it felt like a punch to the gut. .

My poor baby.

“Na he didn’t know”, Brock spoke up as the rest of us sat in silence as our minds pondered over the information that was revealed.

“That’s what his ‘black stages’ are?”, I asked quickly forgetting that Tyson was even in the room as I spoke freely of his symptom’s.

“The medical term is a ‘Manic’ or ‘Depressive’ stage, bipolar disorder experience episodes of an elevated or agitated mood known as mania alternating with episodes of depression. Bipolar is usually brought on either by genetic or by a traumatic experience that occurred within the individuals life”, The doctor explained as we all sat in silence and took in the new information.

“As Im sure your all aware when a manic or depressive episode occurs it usually last a number of days and the individual is usually unresponsive, doesn’t sleep, anger rises and mood swings but most importantly when the person comes down from the episode it usually results in the person not remembering what occurred during their manic episode”.

“So its possible he doesn’t remember what he does or says during these episodes?”, I asked again to clarify what the Dr had just explained.

“That’s correct. Most cases they don’t remember and some they only remember snippets. Remember we try to assure the family of a Bipolar patient that the person isn’t responsible for his actions during his episodes”, He explained silently answering my hidden question.

Was it possible all the rapes and verbal abuse was just a Manic episode that Tyson doesn’t even remember? I mean I know he can be mean and cold when his normal but looking back he never hurt me when his eyes were brown only when black.

“The eye colour change?”, I asked

“All part of a episode”, He assured causing me to feel a sense of relief knowing that his episodes brought on the abuse.

“Is there any medication for this?”, Remy asked causing us all to wait impatiently for his answer.

“There are a number of medication that can be take for Bipolar the best results would be Lithium-“,

“Hell na he aight taken that shit,  Ty look man my cousin had the same thing bra not as bad but he has it and they fed him all types of anti depressants and shit. Ole boy pretty much became a vegetable, no emotion man he was numb. Shit fucked him up even more and I aint about to let that happen to you”, Remy gritted out as he narrowed his eyes at the Dr.

“Look we can discuss methods to control it a little later once this has all died down. I would like to suggest the consumption of alcohol and drugs are a big no no. They enhance the episodes and bring them on more frequently”, He explained causing me to face Tyson and narrow my eyes at him causing him to shrug his shoulders in return.

“Look doc this needs to stay 101% confidential. This cant get out understand? Matter of fact this cant go on file”, Jeremiah chipped in causing all the boys to nod their head in agreement.

“Im sorry, I cant do that”, The Dr refused as he shook his head.

“You can and you will”, Tyson gritted out shocking us all as this was the first time he has spoken up since the doctor started to explain.

“Mr Brown will all due respect-“, The doctor started to protest but stopped short as Tyson ripped the IV from his arm and jumped out of his bed.

“You think I didn’t know mother fucker? You think Ive lived 23 years of my life as a heartless fuck and not no what was wrong with me? I knew.  Ive known my whole life and no one else knew until you nosy fuck decided to dig where you shouldn’t have. Now what was spoken will not be repeat because if it is your pretty little wife and kids wont be so pretty any more”, Tyson gritted out in a icy tone as he held the doctor my the throat.

“Tyson”, I whispered as I stood up while the boys all took a stance around him afraid he would lash out.

“Tyson hunny, let him go”, I said softly as my voice cracked in fear. Not fear that he would hurt me, fear he would hurt the doctor than we’d really be in deep shit.

“You understand me?”, He gritted out to the Dr who was red face and shook with fear.

“Y-y-yes”, He stuttered. Instantly Tysons hold on the Dr loosened causing him to fall on the ground as he endured a coughing fit.

“Oh and I want a new doctor”, Tyson chuckled icily causing me to shiver at the haunting sound.

The doctor gather himself and left instantly. Our attention turned to Tyson who stood around with a cocky expression as his arm was huddled in a sling and wore nothing but sweats.

“What the fuck was that Tyson?”, Remy gritted out causing him to look his way as he shrugged.

“I hate niggas who snoop around”, He huffed as he made his way back onto the bed as the boys shook their head.

“I cant believe you knew this whole time and you never told us, never told me?”, I said not bothering hiding the hurt in my voice.

“Get over it”, He grumbled as he waved me off and grabbed his IV and puncturing his vain with the needle as if he was a professional

“Uh nigga you might wanna wait for a nurse to do that”, Brock mumbled trying to hide his laughter although I found nothing funny in the matter.

“Need morphine”, He muttered as he played around with the drip until the bag of morphine started to fall into his drip.

“Crazy ass”, Ace chuckled as he shook his head.

“Im speaking to you Ty ! Why the fuck didn’t you tell us that you knew you had Bipolar?”, I gritted out causing him to flinch for just a second before he straightened his posture and glared at me.

“What you wanted to know Lani? That my parents thought I was possessed by the devil and had the priest come to our home to preform a exorcists on me all the time ? I was 8 fuckin years old Lani. They tied me to a fuckin bed for days on end. You wanted to know right?”, He spat out as I stood there in shock.

“Ight when they couldn’t get the ‘devil’ out of me they locked me in the basement away from civilisation for weeks. They had this gas chamber filled with these steam bottles that they turned on every time I had a episode, said they wanted to burn it outta me. Stupid right?”, He chuckled bitterly as I glanced around and saw that all the guys wore the same shocked expression I wore.

“When they couldn’t handle me anymore they dropped me off at the door of a mental institute and there they fed me pills all day every day, when a episode occurred they tied me to a bed and used brain shock to stabilise me. You know what that feels like Lani? Its like being electrocuted over and over again in the fuckin head.” He gritted out as he relived the memories in his mind.

“Years of that shit and I finally escaped that fuckin hell so excuse the fuck out of me if I didn’t want to knowledge or broadcast the one thing that haunts me.”, He exploded in a rush causing us to all sit there frozen with the new information he just sprung on us.

"You no what just get out, all of you get the fuck out. I wanna be alone”, He mumbled quietly as he sat on the bed and kept his head down .

Standing up we all made our way towards the door to step out without another word, being the last one I looked back as I wiped the tears that had fallen during his confession.

“No matter happened too you, what you have or what you’ve done Ty, I’ll always love you and I will always be here for you baby”, I muttered softly before stepping outside and taking a seat in the waiting room.

Realisation hit me like a ton of bricks as my mind went over every little detail he spoke. 

My baby was more broken than I could ever imagined.

I refused to let him live through this alone. I was serious when I told him id be there no matter what. 

In the matter of seconds my every goal and future changed. 

Now the only thing I was working towards was healing Tyson. I was determine to see him live again .

First things first, now that his secrets have been revealed it was time I laid all mine out for him.

I was going to tell him everything.

csheary  asked:

ahhhh hope your exam goes well!! i don't really have any ideas for a prompt but how about...a ghost au...(for either patater or nurseydex i dont mind)

It went pretty great man thanks!! See I could make this really angsty but lbr… it’s me and I just wrote angst so have some patater ghost fluff!! (still a little angsty lol whoops)

Alexei doesn’t mind being dead, really. He could have chosen a nicer way to go than dying in a car accident, but the afterlife isn’t really so bad. He haunts his little section of road and is pretty content. He’s right by a forest and he finds the trees and the sounds of wildlife calming. 

It’s a bit lonely though.

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